Benedict Cumberbatch

How rude. I didn’t allow that. Nobody is allowed to take advantage of my tiredness. Oh, that sounds cool. Busy as always I see, yes. Tell Emma and the kids I said hi, would you? I feel like I haven’t seen them in ages. We should change that.

Come hang out with us cool kids sometime. And Emma.

It helps a lot to be surrounded by people that help make it fun, and in a way it helps pass all the time. Oh, that doesn’t exist to me either. The last time I had a lot of time off, it was about three weeks and that was it before I was back on the road again. Okay, so you try to stay close to home. I don’t think I would be able to handle kids because my job does take me all over the world. There are times where I don’t even see my house for months. Oh wow, 3? That’s crazy. 

Even when I’m not working, I’ve still got the kids, most of the time, which means I never get a break. I probably should take one sometime soon, but I like hanging out with them too much. I think it would depend on who you have your kids with, and if they would be willing to make it so you still get to see your kids as often as possible. Think about Chris Martin and how he tours the world with his band, but he has his kids tag along for parts of the tour, even lets them perform, and he has a very close relationship with them. That’s because him and his ex make it work. Yeah, 3. It’s a mad house, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ah, for a second I thought of a totally different roast but you did remind me of the roast of Bruce Willis tonight so thanks for that. But no, you’re right. That’s a good way to spend Sundays, too. I try to host a few of those when football’s on. 

Well, you know, why not throw both roasts together? Eat a roast dinner whilst watching somebody being roasted. That sounds like the best way to spend a Sunday. 

Nah, I’m too tired to even try it today. You’re lucky. How’s that line from Alice in Wonderland? We’re all mad here. And it’s true. So what are you up to now? Any cool new projects I should know about?

No, I’m clever, and was taking advantage of your tiredness. That’s true, I don’t know anybody who’s not at least a little bit mad. I’m currently filming a movie about Brexit, as well as doing some press for The Grinch. Nice and chill, as always.

 Finee, but i think you aren’t that bad looking and that’s not a lie.

Oh yeah? When do you think I’m at my peak, looks-wise?

I’ll only have to deal with a week of all that attitude unless they choose to stay with me longer then I’ll have to find myself a girlfriend to play middle ground between me and the girls. Yeah not ready to ever hear the “I hate you’s” it’ll break my heart.

You’ve got plenty of time to figure that stuff out yet, so I’m sure you’ll be fine, mate. It will, but all you can do is everything possible to not let that happen. You know, even if it doesn’t work.

 I’m trying to compliment you. just take the compliment??!

No, sorry. I don’t accept compliments that aren’t true.

Now that sounds a little smug there my friend. But fine, I’ll give you this. Mark it on your calendar. Are you really sure about that? Not verging on the insane? Maybe you’re just good at hiding it.

Prove that I’m wrong and I’ll back down, but you can’t, so I won’t. We’re all a little insane, deep down. It’s fine.

Wives have a way of doing that. I’ve been divorced for a few years but my ex Carrie still has a lot of things she likes to call me. Nothing bad at least, so it works out okay. How many kids do you have? I’ve got an 11 year old daughter, Caitlyn and an 8 year old son River.

That’s good. I think even if I managed to get rid of my wife, she’d still call me ridiculous names for the rest of forever, because she’s like that. I have three kids! Aerie, who’s 5; Quentin, who turns 3 next month; and Rosie, who’s 18 months. They’re all mad as a box of cats.