ball

- The official ball of baseball - Commonly thrown by baseball players - Keep an eye out for one of these bad boys the next time you watch a baseball game

To be a little more specific about the order, the creation of this thing went a little like “enough sprinkles to cover the bottom of the glass —> espresso poured above sprinkles —> one part monster —> one part diet coke —> mix —> wonder if the foam will dissolve (it will not) —> top with more sprinkles —> hype yourself up for a good five minutes before you get the courage to actually drink the thing.” Here’s what it looks like:

A couple of notes! See all those sprinkles at the top? That’s because whatever “foam” was on top looked pretty grody, so instead of realizing that this was Probably Not A Good Idea, I just covered it with a copious amount of sprinkles again and it turned out looking. Marginally better.

As for the taste, it starts off with a little bit of sweetness for about a millisecond before immediately hitting you with the most acidic taste that I’ve tasted in my entire fucking life. It’s like battery acid or bile. The residue sticks to the top of your mouth specifically and stays really bitter while still having that sweetness from before, but it’s almost rotten at that point. Sickeningly sweet. But just barely.

The aftertaste lingers for so long that even trying to wash it out with water only emphasizes that “orange juice after brushing your teeth” feeling. The foam’s almost like something you’d get from a finely-curdled milk but still a foam somehow and there isn’t even any milk in there so I have NO idea how it turned out that way.

As soon as I took a sip, I swear, my hands started shaking. I’m fine now, but I thought that it was definitely because this had close to (if not more than) half the recommended amount of caffeine that an individual should have in a given day if you drank the whole thing, but. No. I barely had any. I’m half-sure that the sheer abhorrence of the taste caused me to start trembling in fear of what I’d done. It’s so bad.

[Image ID: The first is a photo of the described drink. The second is the above post, edited blackout poetry style to only spell out the word "ball" multiple times over, and the word "bass" once. /End ID]

[Image ID: A screenshot of a Google Images search result of a stock photo of a soccer ball. The word "ball" in the title has been highlighted in red and magnified. /End ID]

[Image ID: The above post, edited to only say "Ball". /End ID]

[Image ID: A screenshot of the above post, edited to only say "ball". /End ID]

[Image ID: A screenshot of the above post, edited to only say "ball". /End ID]