a girls guide to making the right friends
one quote I always think of when it comes to any kind of relationship is “we accept the love we think we deserve” and I think the same applies to friendships. misery loves company and I know what it’s like to be surrounded by the wrong types of friends.
so, heres how to choose the right people.
1- dont be afraid to be alone
in order to choose the right people for you, you must be fully comfortable and content with your own company. being alone is a thousand times better than being with a group of people that secretly hate you. try to remember that other people’s perception of you is not who you truly are. the kind of people that may judge you (or other people) for being sat alone at lunch, or not wearing the trendiest shoes are not the kind of friends you want to keep around.
2- notice how they talk about other people.
if someone constantly gossips, criticizes, or tears others down, you’re not the exception, you’re just not the topic yet. choose people who are kind to everyone, even behind their back.
3-make sure theres no quiet competition
i personally noticed this a lot in my past friendship groups, and it’s hard to confront them about it because there’s no physical proof. however, you should never feel like you’re in a silent race with your own friends. the right friendships don’t gravitate to comparing looks, comparing attention or comparing achievements. but instead, they move more towards mutual support. like you’re both winning, in different ways, at the same time. everyone has their own personal goals and future plans, just embrace your own instead of focusing on the people around you!
4-choose people who respect your boundaries
if you say no, change plans, need space, or express a feeling, the right people respect it. they don't guilt you, they dont pressure you, they dont make you feel difficult. respect is non negotiable.
5-choose alignment over history
just because you’ve known someone for a long time doesn’t mean they’re right for the person you’re becoming. choose people who match your future, not just your past. there’s no need to stick around with someone if you don’t feel that initial spark with. if you feel like you’re moving on, that’s completely valid and you deserve to be around people you’d want your highest self to stick with.
the right friends wont confuse you. they wont dim you. they wont make you question your value. real friends are supportive, easy and real.
