A securely insecure human

The truth was I had always assumed that pleasure was being held in store for me, like something I was amassing in a bank account, but by the time I came to ask for it I discovered the store was empty. It appeared that it was a perishable entity, and that I should have taken it a little earlier.

I had no idea at all why things turned out the way they did, why I felt gorged with sensation at one minute and starved of it the next, where my loneliness or joy came from, which choices were beneficial and which deleterious to my health and happiness, why I did things I didn't want to do and couldn't do what I wanted. Least of all did I understand what freedom was and how I could attain it. I thought it was a mere unbuttoning, a release, where in fact - as you know well - it is the dividend yielded by an unrelenting obedience to and mastery of the laws of creation.

The Cat Returns

– “..sometimes i think i’m smarter and better than everyone else not necessarily with math or science or whether something is east or west but pretty much everything else and if I could figure out my look, I’d be the most beautiful woman in the world.“

Each time we don't say something we want to say, we're dying.

I would like to be able to make a very nearly complete list, of everything that matters to me, leaving nothing out. Is that what it’s like to be afraid to die?

I smile, a buddha, all Wants, desire Falling from me like rings Hugging their lights. The claw Of the magnolia, Drunk on its own scents, Asks nothing of life.