alice price

opening men's clothing outlet 'the foppish douche'

dude i saw your sticker on the back of a stop sign and I had to dm you. you seem soooooo fucking funny

in my utopia every new pair of shoes comes with a cyanide capsule in case getting out there with a new style for yourself doesn't work out

this is the manager speaking: everyone in the office hang up the phones stop what you are doing and find the nearest window--someone with a nontraditional lifestyle is limping up the sidewalk outside.

just uncovered secret documents that reveal US troops are launching disks from their wrists in combat zones

everybody got a friend named tim they'd play smash bros with on a weeknight

major shortcoming of the 1979 Book of Common Prayer is that it doesn't have a prayer for when you have to kill a bunch of ants