🌿ivy's sorta blogʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

•Ivy (20; white) (18+ mdni)

•Pronouns: They/She

•Languages: English(N), Mandarin Chinese (Learning: Korean, Vietnamese, Spanish)

•Spirituality: Omnist/Interfaith/UU

•MBTI and Enneagram: INFJ; sc/sp 925(136)

🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

•Program of Study: Clinical-Community Psychology (Decolonial; IFS, ACT, EFT, IPT; relational repair; community healing; indigenous wisdom)

•Other Academic Interests: Religion, Culture, and Language Studies; Political Science

•Non-academic Interests: Crafting; Music; Minecraft; Nature; Cooking; Reading; Birds; Advocacy; Volleyball (watching sometimes, can't play well)

•Music Artists: Rosalía (Lux); Taeyeon; Dreamcatcher; Faouzia; Tiffany Day (but I'm into almost any music except country lol)

Aurora, Sarah Kinsley, Ariana Grande, Charlixcx, Poppy (Negative Spaces & Empty Hands), Linkin Park, Asking Alexandria, I see stars, Mannequin Pussy, Grandson, Yungblud, 100 gecs, i9bonsai, senses, bladee, siouxxi sixxta, m1v, Oklou, Searows, Jess benko, pomme, Janine, Joanna, zeile, some kpop n cpop n vpop, elyanna, RaiNao, Paopao, young miko, etc

✨What You Can Expect✨

•Study/Uni-life pictures

•What I accomplished (in a day, etc)

•Pictures of things that make me happy

•Maybe possibly pics of my Minecraft builds or other crafting if I ever get the free time lol

•Language learning content

•Possibly a few spiels about music and artists I am into

•My psychology/polisci/spirituality thoughts, book recs, and resources

•Soilpunk/anarchist/mutual aid content

•Vegetarian cooking

Okay...let's go

Friday, May 29, 2026

I am not moving at a fast enough pace, and that's literally without a job taking up my time this summer (except minor work for the writing center here and there). Yesterday I did some GRE math and some work on both my conducted and to-be-conducted research. Today I did--you guessed it--more GRE math and also some vocab. I went out with my family to try to find another pair of jeans today but didn't end up finding any and drained most of my day so I haven't gotten as much as I need to done.

Tomorrow is my sister's piano recital and Sunday is my siblings hs graduation so I'll be busy over the weekend, and Monday I have a meeting planned for research projects so I'll probably do that all day. Then my girlfriend is hoping to come over so I'll get some work done but mostly spend time with her. Point being I won't be getting as much GRE prep done as id like and it's basically June I'm so cooked y'all.

Bc I literally just make so many stupid math mistakes. It's not even that I don't understand the concepts although sometimes I feel incompetent in that area too, but it's just that under such a time crunch (under 1 minute per question) it's hard to have time to check work and I make so many simple mistakes especially since it's been so long since I've worked with this kind of math...and I haven't even touched the geometry section yet. Im also moving slower on vocab than I'd like but I'm not too worried about it that's my strong side. I'm just incredibly overwhelmed with the whole process of grad school because applications are due so early and I'll be busy and not have all my qualifications ready by then ahhhggh. I'll survive I just really don't wanna move back into this house after I graduate....

Whatever brah whatever. Also see pic for a failed craft where I tried to use hot glue instead of resin to stamp dried flowers to make magnets lmao

🎧: Birthday - Faouzia (came out today)

Friday, May 22

Couple days until my birthday yap I don't care. I'm posting btw ummm I'm back to doing things I just had something rlly crazy happen and had to get into a routine again. Been doing pretty well in comparison. I was also able to see a lot of my friends and that made me very happy🥹 otherwise I'm kinda stuck in the house bc it's been super rainy but I have been getting a lot of studies done and spending time with siblings. Somehow not enough still smh time is going by so fast and as much as I wanna be back at college I have a lot of big projects that are gonna be hard to finish by then.

Today I:

🪻: Studied vocab flashcards briefly for the GRE

🪻: Studied for the quant reasoning section of the GRE

🪻: Finished a couple modules of my CPRS training

🪻: organized some more tips and directions for my research journal publication

🪻: Made a Chicago travel itinerary for a friend who is going to see a concert there based on my couple experiences there this year

🪻: Played card games with siblings, and watched jeopardy and wheel of fortune with family

🪻: missed my friends and girlfriend and did I mention missing my besties

But yeah that's about it I just keep myself busy. Oh and I had a spontaneous meeting with my therapist where she told me she actually has to report something I told her to CPS even though we both discussed and thought she didn't have to before I shared lol but I know my county won't gaf so it's fine probably besides it's been reported before and nothing happened so...but anyway I'm gonna wind down for bed I'm tired per usual. The rain sound is pretty tho🥹

🎧: July - Lyn Lapid

🍜: Vegetarian tetrazzini (I spell that pasta wrong every time)

May 9, 2026

Im soo sleepy and tired and sleepy and exhausted and lonely and dissociated and ya

Anyway gotta start out all my blogs with just a little dump of negative energy loll today wasn't horrible I guess I've honestly done a decent amount I've just felt kinda detached the whole time but it's okay. Woke up and edited pictures all morning then I made myself lunch (see picture) and went back to editing pictures. Most of my family was gone all morning, but when they got back around 2 the kids and I went out to pick out mother's day gifts in our basket theme.

After we got back I took a little depression break and walked a bit outside (the weather was so nice) and came back in to-- you guessed it-- edit pictures again. I'm officially halfway through this set😭😭 I really done joy doing it but at the same time sitting for so long makes my ADHD tweak so bad. The problem is I have to finish them before I take my siblings pics bc I can't do three sets at once or id probably collapse and die lol

Mostly I just really miss my friends and girlfriend and the independence of college. I hope I can finish editing pictures soon so I can work on actual research and feel some sense of purpose again lol. I'm not even unhappy on the days like today where there isn't toooo much extended tension (tho we got close a few times) in the family I'm just so bleh idk how to describe it tbh I just need connection to the outside world lmao

Sometimes my blogs are super long and sometimes it's like now where I really just don't have that much to say. You would think I would take advantage of this and make posts on all those topics I wanna post about but I'm just too sleepy for that shit lol. And now for my favorite part of Tumblr posting: the abrupt dropoff when I run out of things to say ;)

🍵: Pomegranate-blueberry V8 Energy

🍲: Vegetarian chickpea tortilla soup

🎧: Unforgettable - Anson Seabra

Friday, May 8

Horrible day yesterday hence the lack of post, but today wasn't too bad....after I got my v8 Energy (pomegranate blueberry) that is. I had been trying to stop drinking them but I failed after 3 days. You don't understand how much joy that brings my life😭😭I only drink 1 a day and they're only 80mg of caffeineeee plus they have juiceee they're healthyyyy😭 it's tea concentrate!!

Anyway after I had a v8 I got some picture editing done, some more room-organizing, and I went to the park! Sunlight helped a bit for sure as well the weather is beautiful today(67 rn to be specific but that pains me to note)! I need to start working on some of my bigger projects really bad but I'm trying to get through these pictures... problem is then I'll have 2 other sets of my siblings grad pics lmfao but that's okay😭

Anyway early day post I'll post more later if I feel like it but not really too much going on just trying desperately to avoid depression. Being home without a job or car is horrible because I'm literally stuck here all the time and my siblings are all either at work or school and I don't understand how only children do it. I just dissociate so bad when people aren't around. I also have a really bad habit of bad emotional permeance so like when I'm not around my friends I just forget what friendship feels like and I forget anyone cares about me lmao but I shall survive like every other summer🥲

I just neeeeedd to hang out with people and be reminded that I'm a person outside of this house lol I might go insane without a job by the end of the summer. My therapist hasn't texted me back yet either smhh

Anyway that's about all I have energy for but can't say I didn't post

Tuesday 05/05/26

SOOO SLEEPY SO TIRED MISS MY GIRLFRIEND MISS MY FRIENDS

Anyway other than that today was pretty productive and chill. I woke up early and finished carpet cleaning my sister's and my room (see image) and organized a couple more things to move in then I worked on editing the grad pics for a bit until my brother got home from school. (Went to vote in primaries before picking him up.) Helped him with his science project until dinner (carbonara).

Then I went out with my brother to get frozen yogurt from my first job which is where he works now (cold brew flavor with an obscene amount of both dark choc chunks and toasted coconut). We went into a store nearby just to get toasted coconut though bc they don't have it as a topping anymore lmao. After I got home I cleaned a bit and did my laundry, then u worked on a diy project for the living room that my mom has been trying to make time for. I tried to play with my bird but she still hates me for leaving for the semester and won't have anything to do with me lol

Haven't decided what to do with the rest of my evening. I might watch a show with my brother while mending some jeans that are wearing thin. A couple years ago we started S1 of Shadow and the Bone and it wasn't amazing but I think there's a second season now and for Amita Suman's sake I might make him watch it with me. Or I could get some more work done or I could sleep early idk lol.

But guys I posted 2 days in a row congratulate me lmaooo. Here's the hopes for tomorrow:

-Finish helping my brother with his school project

-Email a PhD advisor and reach out to some connections about summer research

-Send some people Mandarin learning resources

-Submit timecards for work

-Edit more pictures

-Clean and organize more

-Reach out to my therapist about summer sessions

By the way, if anyone has experience with emdr feel free to drop it in comments or dm. I am a bit skeptical of whether it's a good fit for me (I know the provider would administer healthily) even as someone who studies psychology but I don't want to be closed off. I feel like I'd be more open to somatic therapy.

Anyway I think that's all can't really think of much else I'm just glad to be back to posting!!

Monday, May 4, 2026

I am mostly settled back home after a hectic end to the semester (hence the long gap without posts). The MPA conference in Chicago went great and I won an award at my university's research conference. I loved being in Chicago it was just as fun and pretty as last time and I can't wait until I can actually live in the city.

Otherwise the past is in the past and I am just gonna start fresh with posting lol. So because my retail position laid me off even though I eas their favorite employee bc of some bullshit, this is the first time since I was 14 years old that I don't have at least one job (technically I have 5 hours a week minimum wage online through the university writing center but that hardly counts) and it's throwing me for a loop.

I could always reapply to my retail job because I didn't leave on bad terms but honestly now that I'm gone idk if I can go back especially bc (cw-sa: skip to next para) the longer it gets since I was raped the more little things bother me like the fact that he knows where I work. So I really don't wanna go back there even if I could probably get rehired which might be stupid financially but I have a decent amount saved atp.

But it might be good timing because although I'll still be applying for jobs and internships, I have a ton going on. As much as I have given up on doctors appointments because of the lack of results and cost for myself personally, my youngest sister is having similar and potentially more severe health issues so I do feel like I should keep trying to investigate the chronic illnesses for her sake because whatever I have she likely has as well. So this summer could potentially be filled with many doctors appointments on top of my work.

By work I mean finishing up last semester's research and running more research over the summer-- I'll be conducting another study or two. I'll also have to prep for my internship this fall and finish up my CPRS training on top of managing some preparations for psychology honors club this fall and a community service club I run that's part of rotary international. Oh also I need to edit my girlfriend's grad pics that I took and take 2 of my siblings hs grad pics and edit them. All of this needs to be done while prepping for the GRE btw and studying which PhD programs I want to apply to🥲🥲 so yeah I'm a little busy maybe not having a job is good even though I have to remind myself I'm not a failure for that lmao

As for what I need to do tomorrow: I definitely need to carpet clean. Today I arranged some things and wiped the walls in my room and started organizing but because I share my room with the bird and it's carpeted, no matter how much you try to clean it will eventually get gross and need a thorough wash, and I haven't been home for 2 semesters so it's needed. Basically a lot of cleaning and organizing plus I need to help my brother finish up his science project because my mom is super busy with her seminar classes wrapping up rn. Home sweet home lol

But yeah that's kinda an update on life. Boring but context so I don't have to be as boring in future posts lol. Hopefully I keep up with a few times a week. Oh random but my therapist also wants me to do EMDR for the aforementioned trauma lol so we will see how that goes if I'm able to afford it...that's another thing I have to set up and all. Anyway...thanks for reading missed u all!!