relapse

i’ve never walked to get cigarettes at 2 AM until I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’ve never looked up at the rain and felt it wash over me and wish that it could erase you from my mind. I never felt so desperately out of control, wishing I could change the circumstances. I tried to fuck you out of my mind by seeking comfort in someone else’s arms. I don’t even know if you feel the same way, if you thought about me or about the woman who came up to us to say how beautiful it was that we were so in love. When we were trying so hard not to be. I don’t know if for you it was just a moment in time, when for me it felt like time stopped. I think I understand, how beautiful things have the power to hurt us and the passion to fuel us.