I kinda like wasting my time here

Not putting this on here for attention from friends considering the only 2 people I know on tumblr are my boyfriend and mate and I only have like 20 followers but I want somewhere I can write and be proud of what I’ve been through recently. I simply just want to write my progress down in words so I can actually accept that I have come far and stop kidding myself because I really am good enough.

When moving to uni in September I got very anxious and worried for lots of reasons. I missed my boyfriend, I was scared being alone, I wasn’t as independent as I once thought. I compensated for my self harm by stopping myself eating. I’m naturally a small girl anyway but only having 2 full meals a week made my body disgusting. It was so small and weak, i lost so much weight even though I barely had anything to lose. It affected my sleeping , I couldn’t sleep at night but had to sleep in the day. Small trips out exhausted me and socialising was really difficult. I stopped attending lectures and seminars and honestly felt like things were coming to an end. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I continued self harming and I hurt those closest to me through that. My boyfriend and my family were so worried about me. They didn’t know where I was gonna go with this and neither did I

But after seeing the one person that means the absolute world to me break down and just want me to be better I knew I had to make a change. I knew my life had more meaning than this. I got myself help, went to doctors and go medications and stuck to strict eating plans. I started trying to see the world in a more positive light

And now - just a month later. Here we are. The picture doesn’t show my body, I only really feel comfortable showing that to my boyfriend but it shows me- looking genuinely happy and healthy. Because I am. I have put back on the weight I lost plus more. My body is curvy and my boobs and bum are fuller. My body looks healthy and I actually adore my current figure. I eat 3 meals a day and sometimes even more. I go out a lot more, go for walks for fresh air and I no longer day nap. I can actually sleep at night and I love socialising. I went out for the evening the other night for the first time in 2 months and I had the best time. I went to a gig and I adored being with friends and enjoying music out again. I am so happy I can live my life to its absolute fullest once again I have my boyfriend and family and friends to thank. They have helped me so much

And to top it all off, it’s nearly been a month since I cut. Seems like nothing but when you are addicted to doing something and it occurs multiple times a week - this is a big step. Not only that but it used to absorb my thoughts 24/7 and now I don’t even consider it All I consider is living my life to its absolute full potential

I’m so glad that for once I can say