Taylor Song a Day

main: @idontwanttospoiltheparty

From January 1st 2026 to September 16th 2026, I will be going through Taylor Swift's discography, listening to one song every day, roughly in release order (meaning all vault tracks will come after evermore), and posting my thoughts as I go.

This is a way for me to both slow down and really contemplate Taylor's artistry as well as create some distance that will let me explore other music and come back to her with a fresh pair of ears.

Resources:

Song of the Day tag

Longer Blog Intro

The Rules

My history with this song:

a bit of a slowburn as well – I LOOOOVE lots of it, but I also find some bits a tad overwritten (mostly the second verse). It's soooo good in the full album context, though.

Thoughts:

At its core, "loml" is about Taylor's utter humiliation over having been led on, of her falling for someone who wasn't a tenth as serious about this relationship as she was, despite telling her she was the love of his life "about a million times" (might that be an "illicit affairs" callback?). The self-righteousness driving much of the album up until now evaporates completely and we're left with Taylor's angry-heartbroken lament, in which she takes both the you and herself to task: "A conman sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme."

She speaks with regret and wistfulness about how quickly she became invested in this relationship: "If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary / You and I go from one kiss to getting married." Even after admitting she was tricked (partially with promises of marriage and children) she states she "Felt a hole / Like this / Never before, and ever since."

Taylor feels betrayed by her own gullibleness, by how much she values passion, while hating the you for exploiting it. "I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed," she declares near the beginning of the song and relationship, before promptly embarking upon the loss of her life.

There's a fair amount of religious imagery in "loml". Taylor refers to the you as a Holy Ghost, which is seemingly positive, though it does foreshadow the "ghosting" described two tracks later. The you shows her impressionistic paintings of Heaven, which turn out to be fake, and takes her to Hell instead, implying he's some sort of false prophet. We also see her again in the redeemer role, though she doesn't make it explicitly religious this time: "Who's gonna tell me the truth, when you blew in with the winds of fate / And told me I reformed you?"

"loml" is also dotted with memory: "We embroidered the memories of the time I was away / Stitching, 'We were just kids, babe'." This relationship is built on a past rapport, on nostalgia which has led Taylor to being easily fooled. She later curses the power memories have over her: "I wish I could unrecall / How we almost had it all." That line is also fascinating because most of the song implies Taylor was entirely mistaken, that she and the you did not in fact "almost have it all". From this, it becomes clear that what Taylor wishes to unrecall is her own subjective feeling of hope – the memory of her passion.

She also invokes writing and movies when describing the you: "You cinephile, in black and white / All those plot twists and dynamite" It implies something more elaborate than simple lies, indeed later on in the song she describes "braids of lies" which need to be combed through. The you has woven an entire tale for her, one where he shows up on her doorstep and the two of them live happily ever after – "from one kiss to getting married."

I always thought the songtitle implied that "loml" was a text the you had sent to Taylor, with the acronym acting as an empty promise, the blank spaces Taylor filled in for the you, motivated by her own false sense of hope. She thought it stood for "love", but it turned out to be "loss".

Favourite lyric:

"Dancing phantoms on the terrace / Are they secondhand embarrassed / That I can't get out of bed / 'Cause something counterfeit's dead?"

I think it's genuinely one of the most arresting moments on the entire album (and Taylor's discography tbh). After songs upon songs of insisting on her right to love whom she will, Taylor steps back and openly wonders if her audience thinks she's embarrassing. Not only that, she freelly admits to being heartbroken over "something counterfeit" – Feeling as the great betrayor, as entirely out of our rational control.

But there's soooo many great lines, I wanna name more for fun!

"Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames / If we know the steps anyway?" – I love how they're walking straight into fire, but it's entirely romanticized

"You lowdown boy, you stand-up guy."

"Still alive, killing time at the cemetery / Never quite buried."

"Mr Steal Your Girl, then make her cry" – Taylor and her nursery rhyme references <3 (also see: "Humpty Dumpty" in "The Archer" and "Sitting in a Tree" in "How Did It End?")

"What a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye."

"Your arson's match, your somber eyes."

Favourite melodic line: "That I can't get out of bed 'cause something counterfeit's dead" it's soft and sad :(

My history with this song:

It's a grower, but I rarely listen outside the context of the album.

Thoughts:

"I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)" is an amusing premise with a gritty Americana musical backdrop. I enjoy the lone ranger vibe a lot and think the song's short length helps it not to feel too gimmicky.

The song marks a change in TTPD's tracklist: it's not the first song in which Taylor's love interest is portrayed as unpleasant to most people, but it's the first one where Taylor is truly the butt of the joke for not agreeing with the masses (and the next few songs on the album will show her reckonning with this). She came across as a trapped victim on "My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys" and outright romanticized her partner's differentness on "Down Bad" and "But Daddy I Love Him". Now, people shake their heads at her and she agrees he's rather horrible – she just thinks she can change that.

Taylor compares her wish to "fix" the man she is with to religious salvation: "They shake their heads, saying 'God help her' when I / Tell 'em he's my man / But you're good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger / I can fix him, no really I can." It's a slightly more subtle Jesus self-comparison, that slots in interestingly with the other references on the album: Taylor as the redeemer of the sinful.

As though the over-defensive "No really I can!" addition wasn't enough, she ends the song on a punchilne: "Woah, maybe I can't."

Favourite lyric: "He had a halo of the highest grade / He just hadn't met me yet."

Favourite melodic line: "Trust me I can / Handle me a dangerous man" YEAH!

My history with this song:

this is the rare Taylor track I consider a bit too long, mostly because I find the stopping and starting of the bridge gives it a bit of a weird pace – but it's fun.

The tour performance is iconic though, and the super loud BUM-BUM-BUM after "But what if it is?" is soooooo fun.

Thoughts:

Taking a break from the emphasis on relationships of TTPD, "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" is a diatribe on the ruinous effects of fame. Taylor compares herself to a traumatized circus animal and to a powerful ghost. It's an escalation of the "monster on the hill" image from "Anti-Hero", and her leaping from the gallows foreshadows the immortality she will declare at the end of her next album. The vibe of that track is also not unrelated to "my tears ricochet" though this song is obviously a fair amount more unhinged.

Production-wise, the song could stand to be a bit more dramatic in my opinion (the live version is a clear improvement) but I think it's a melodically strong piece and Taylor's vocals are fun. The siren-like wail of the title line is great.

In essence, the song is Taylor recounting why she is the way she is, pointing out she wasn't always like this: "I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean / 'Don't you worry, folks! We took out all her teeth!'" Taylor lays the blame for her loss of innocence (and sanity) on the public. "I am what I am 'cause you trained me."

And of course, Taylor references her writing directly: "Isn't that what they all said? / […] / [That I] Put narcotics into all of my songs? / And that's why you're still singing along." She implies the public thinks her songs are engineered to be enjoyed rather than a true craft, let alone an earnest expression of emotion.

In a sense, I feel this really captures one aspect of the album title: ever since the album announcement, I've been struck by the fact it's the 'Tortured Poets Department' – implying some amount of standardization of the role of a tortured poet. In the "narcotics" line, Taylor is expressing that she feels like her art has been trivialized by the general public, and at the same time, the core message of the full song is that it is the general public's interaction with her that has made her the way she is. Her audience is reflected in her writing just like she is herself.

I also find the line interesting in the wider context of the album – as I've explained in previous posts, a lot of the songs are more difficult to swallow than preceding Taylor releases, a fact which feels in direct contradiction to the "narcotics" accusation.

And Taylor portraying herself as an actual ghost in "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" captures that as well.

Favourite lyric: "So tell me everything is not about me / But what if it is? / And that they didn't do it to hurt me / But what if they did?" I love this as a portrayal of a paranoid back and forth with no straightforward answer. What if? What if. (epistemology❤️)

Also shoutout to "Crash the party like a record scratch" because it's a creative, funny simile.

Favourite melodic line: "So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street" just a really fun chorus melody.

My history with this song:

This one was a slight slowburn, probably because it's actually one of the more "ordinary" Taylor songs on TTPD, in terms of the music style – it's one where I think it's fair to say she's mostly retreading ground, production-wise, but the thematic evolution is so crazy that it nullifies any critique implying it's not new ground in any form.

I think it's genuinely one of the most poetic tracks in her discography (legendary! track run!!!!!)

Thoughts:

"Guilty as Sin?" somehow walks the line between being one of Taylor's most sensual tracks ("Messy top lip kiss" is so evocative) and one of her most overtly philosophical reflections. Also, to top it off, she compares herself to Jesus for the hell of it, and I'm here for it lmfao.

The song critically examines the ethics of fantasizing about someone (given the context of the album, presumably while already with another person): "Without ever touching his skin / How can I be guilty as sin?" I love how she leaves the question mark in the title, like she is still working it out – though it's crucial that while the title seems to ask whether she is guilty as sin, the title line seems to assume she is and instead asks how it's possible.

While Taylor provides context for why she is succumbing to this desire – "My boredom's bone-deep / This cage was once just fine" – she does not appear to think her imprisoned circumstances (which hearken back to "Fresh Out The Slammer") completely excuse it: "Am I allowed to cry?" she asks, feeling guilty even for having an emotional reaction over her situation. (Also important to differentiate between whether Taylor is objectively guilty or she simply has feelings of guilt – the song is not entirely clear on this, much like many self-cross-examinations.)

She spends the second verse considering carefully what the rules are. I love how she follows up "Someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts / Only your actions talk" with "These fatal fantasies / Giving way to labored breath / Taking all of me / We've already done it in my head." It beautifully demonstrates how blurred the lines seem to her – do fantasizing and masturbation constitute acting on one's desires?

Despite the prominent usage of the term "sin", Taylor also uses positive religious imagery when describing her fantasy relationship: "What if the way you hold me / Is actually what's holy?"; "I choose you and me / Religiously." She also appears to invoke a wedding which clashes with the idea of a tryst: "If it's make believe / Why does it feel like a vow / We'll both uphold somehow?" The overwhelming sense of purity Taylor perceives in her own lust is at the root of her moral confusion: "Am I bad, or mad, or wise?"

It also strikes me that, somehow, the man Taylor is dreaming about is both her death ("Oh what a way to die") and revival ("What if I roll the stone away?"). It captures the urgent yet antithetical feelings Taylor has about her desire for him weel: "He's a paradox." – Passion as both salvation and undoing.

"Guilty As Sin?" contains one of my favourite expansions on the concept of memory in Taylor's discography: "I keep recalling things we never did." – The fantasy is so powerful it occupies the same space in Taylor's mind as the memory of a real life event. Given how big of a role flashbacks play in her songs, this speaks to how emotionally overwhelming this fantasy is to her. It's further notable that the only thing the man seems to actually do in the song is send her a song – every other action of his is in Taylor's head.

Lastly, I think the line "If long-suffering propriety / Is what they want from me / They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly" feels like somewhat of a thesis for The Tortured Poets Department. A lot of the album is about bridging a perceived gap between Taylor The Poet and the audience, and the only way she knows how to do that is to get uncomfortably confessional, challenging them to understand her, warts and all. This being the first song in which she so directly describes masturbation (though, genuinely using the most gorgeous words for it, IMO) and also a song in which she interrogates her own guilt so thoroughly (while ultimately erring on the side of righteousness) embodies that completely.

Favourite lyric: for some reason the line "Building up like waves / Crashing over my grave" has always struck me. It's such a strong, tragic image.

Favourite melodic line: "They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly" The bridge is generally melodically gorgeous, really capturing that purity Taylor perceives in her love. But also shoutout to the higher variation of "What if he's written mine on my upper thigh only in my mind?"

HAPPY BAD THING TO SAY IN A SONG DAY!!!!!!!!

My history with this song:

I've said it before and I'll say it again: we are in a LEGENDARY run of songs. It's amazing and I've loved it forever.

Thoughts:

"Florida!!!" has such a cool, unique vibe, aided immensely by the energy and personality Florence Welch brings to the track. It's dark, heavy, and nihilistic in a way that feels almost antithetical to Taylor's musical MO. Given that the song is about escaping from your life, the style switch-up is perfect.

The sets of seven drumbeats in the chorus are iconic and the bridge builds up exquisitely. (Yet another counter to the TTPD production naysayers……………)

The song is about escaping to Florida to "wait out" the impending implosion of a relationship, for which Taylor appears to blame herself, though the details are vague ("They said I was a cheat / I guess it must be true"; "I've got some regrets / I'll bury them in Florida"). She is forcing herself to move on and using the change of scenery and alcohol to make it go faster. She also specifically wants to forget, though it is not clear whether she wants to forget this relationship or the bad thing she seems to have done, though she also wants to marinate in the guilt: "Tell me I'm despicable / Say it's unforgivable."

Florida is a fascinating backdrop for this track. It's portrayed as a sort of broken American Dream ("So you work your life away / Just to pay for a timeshare down in Destin"), which was referenced just one track prior as a beautiful ideal ("To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams") and the state of Florida played a similar role of disappointing achievement in "Fortnight" ("Moved to Florida / Buy the car you want / But it won't start up"). The place is Taylor's choice to escape the "shitstorm back in Texas" yet most references she makes to it are unpleasant: the heat in the first line (I know it's being used as an expression), a city that reeks, hurricanes and swamps. "Fuck me up, Florida."

The line "Little did you know you're home's really only a town you're just a guest in" is a dark reflection in the context of "So Long London" and "London Boy" and also hearkens back to "exile" ("You were my town / Now I'm in exile seeing you out.")

And I would be remiss not mention this blog's namesake lyric: "So I did my best to lay to rest / All of the bodies that have ever been on my body / And in my mind, they sink into the swamp / Is that a bad thing to say in a song?" I love the reflection of what it means to be truly confessional and raw in one's song. So much of TTPD is speaking ugly emotional truths. As Taylor reflects on her vengeful fantasies she breaks the third wall and asks the audience if they're alienated by her yet. It's sort of like a precursor to "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?"

Favourite lyric: "Love left me like this / And I don't want to exist" TTPD my absolute beloved.

Favourite melodic line: I looooove the way Taylor says "It's one HELL of a drug" the final time in the post-bridge build-up.

My history with this song:

This song floored me on day 1 and it has continued to be an absolute fave – it was my 2024 Wrapped number 2. It's somehow unlike anything Taylor has ever done and also her through and through.

Thoughts:

"Fresh Out The Slammer" is enchanting, haunting, captivating. With its shimmering guitars and wind-whistle synths, it sounds like a mirage in a desert, like a gulp of cold water in the blistering sun. It's one of my very favourite sonic landscapes in Taylor's discography (and a reason the sweeping TTPD criticism about unadventurous production frankly vexes me.).

I love how different the first and second choruses sound thanks to the different octaves Taylor sings them in: the first is low and dark, dangerous almost; it has a bit of a Western vibe, the soundtrack of a lone ranger treking past boarded up windows and tumbleweeds. The second is high and breathy, coloured by Taylor's exhaustion and relief as she escapes a relationship that quite literally felt like a prison to her.

As if all that weren't enough, it's also lyrically fantastic, containing some of Taylor's absolute best montage-style lyrics:

"'Nother summer / Taking cover / Rolling thunder / He don't understand me."

"Splintered / Back in winter / Silent dinners / Bitter / He was with her / In dreams."

"Camera flashes / Welcome bashes / Get the matches / Toss the ashes / Off the ledge."

The rhyming alone is crazy, but the amount of story she packs in these lines should be studied.

"Fresh Out The Slammer" portrays the overpowering feeling of love itself as the prison Taylor had to escape: "Gray and blue and fights and tunnels / Handcuffed to the spell I was under / For just one hour of sunshine." Crucially, Taylor's partner's poor mental health again seems to be part of the prison: "Years of labor, locks, and ceilings / In the shade of how he was feeling."

In contrast, the you, to whom Taylor is running, is like an oasis to her, the first person she plans on calling. The song ends on her quite literally picking up the pace and racing towards a fantasy of her and the you that is both quite childlike (blue) and very reminiscent of a domestic married life (pink): "To the house where you still wait up and that porch light gleams / To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams / And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway / Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up, now that I know what's at stake here / At the park where we used to sit on children's swings / Wearing imaginary rings"

The repeated line "But it's gonna be all right / I did my time" is fascinating – Taylor portrays this new love as something she deserves after the suffering she was put through, as a rectifier of a previous wrong.

It should also be noted that this new man may be imprisoning Taylor all the same, as this line implies: "My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it / Watched me daily disappearing / For just one glimpse of his smile."

There is also a lovely reference to writing and how it lives in symbiosis with Taylor's general emotional well-being: "All those nights you kept me going / Swirled you into all of my poems" – A muse as balm to the tortured poets' soul.

Favourite lyric: "Camera flashes / Welcome bashes / Get the matches / Toss the ashes / Off the ledge." WHAT a line.

Favourite melodic line: "As I said / In my letters / Now that I know better / I will never / Lose my baby again" The way she goes up at the end of this particular line is perfect. But ALSOOOOO "For just one hour of sunshi-i-i-ne".

My history with this song:

GENUINELY one of her best, most iconic songs – we've entered a truly legendary tracklist run (I feel rather strongly that the Anthology is not straightforwardly better than the standard TTPD)

Thoughts:

"But Daddy I Love Him" is a cheeky sparkly romp, both amazingly catchy and lyrically sharp.

I love the melodic variety: the verses (which even differ slightly from each other!), the pre-chorus, chorus, and post-chorus ("I'll tell you something right now…"), the bridge with its own outro of sorts ("You ain't gotta pray for me…"), the outro which mixes parts from almost all the previous sections. The track rather easily earns its nearly 6 minute runtime.

Every line is simply delightful and dripping in Taylor's mocking spite, and there is something so wonderfully Taylor about rhyming "unbuttoned" with "I love him", it feels so unique to her writing.

The song is about her pursuing a relationship with a man of whom her entire community disapproves, placing it in the tradition of "Love Story" (and it very much sounds like classic Taylor) but also tying it back to earlier tracks on the album wherein Taylor's romantic ambitions come across to the listener as questionable at best. One of the terrific things about TTPD is how head-on it challenges its audience, and the taunting "I'm having his baby / No, I'm not, but you should see your faces!" exemplifies that.

The song has a fascinating relationship with religion, which is implied to contribute to the prejudice Tayor's romance is dealing with: "Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best / Clutching their pearls sighing 'What a mess.'" In general, "But Daddy I Love Him" evokes a stereotypically American Christian community ("I forget how the West was won" – I love the strange Americana aesthetic of TTPD: the UFOs, the fronteer towns, the suburbia) whose restrictions and paternalism chafe against Taylor's own interests. Taylor in turn prays for the Sarahs, Hannahs, and wine moms: "God save the most judgemental creeps / Who say they want what's best for me / Sanctimoniously performing soliloquys I'll never see," implying that no one is truly concerned for her well-being, but instead performatively acting outrage at each other.

The whole thing is contrasted greatly to the love at the centre of the song: it's portrayed as entirely unaffected and perhaps even encouraged by all the judgement Taylor is receiving. "Me and my wild boy / And all of this wild joy" is a strong argument for the value of passion. The sheer exhiliration this boy awakens in Taylor is contrasted greatly with her prim and proper upbringing.

There's also a fascinating tidbit about growing up, or rather: "Growing up precocious sometimes means / Not growing up at all." A stifling childhood has rendered Taylor unable to react maturely, which in turn complicates her as the protagonist of the song – is she an underdog romantic heroine or a teenager with an attitude problem? Either way, "But Daddy I Love Him" is also about needing to be able to make one's own mistakes: "I'll tell you something right now / I'd rather burn my whole life now / Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'." Taylor is not totally certain she is making the right choice, but she refuses to let her town make it for her.

Favourite lyric: man like every line is great but "Just screeching tires of true love" and "Thinking it can change the beat / Of my heart when he touches me / And counteract the chemistry / And undo the destiny" is some of the most romantic writing in Taylor's discography.

Favourite melodic line: "Too high a horse / For a simple girl / To rise above it" sounds so lovely

My history with this song:

Believe it or not, this one was a slowburn for me – I find it melodically slightly underwhelming, but I would never deny it's lyrically outstanding.

Thoughts:

After three back-to-back tracks of intense dramatics, "So Long, London" – with its minimalist production and rather flat melody – feels pointedly understated. It's a post-mortem breakup song, rather than contemporary (like say "You're Losing Me"), cold and analytical. Taylor's vocal delivery is for the most part matter-of-fact, though at certain moments a deep-seated resentment bubbles to the surface. She even defends her current seemingly detached attitude: "And you say I abandoned the ship / But I was going down with it." It was either moving on or drowning for her.

The song delves deeper into TTPD's larger theme on the destructiveness of poor mental health: Taylor describes how attempting to save the you from his own issues wore her down to the point she had to end the relationship. "Stopped trying to make him laugh / Stopped trying to drill the safe / Thinking: 'How much sad did you / Think I had, did you / Think I had in me?"

I love how "So Long, London" talks around the subject of marriage and kids without ever directly addressing them: on the one hand, there's the wedding bell-like intro that gets interrupted by the main part of the song and the conspicuous mention of an altar (which Taylor is technically left on not at, but the double-allusion is clear in my opinion). And, on the other hand, there's the suggestion of a limited fertile window: "And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free."

There are two philosophies of love in "So Long, London": one lies in the title, the idea that the people we love are tied to places, become a home of their own. The contrast to "London Boy" is stark. "I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place for so long, London." Saying goodbye to the you means saying goodbye to London, and leaving the city is a heartbreak of its own, but Taylor cannot separate the person from the place adequately. (See also: "I'd never walk Cornelia Street again.")

The other philosophy of love is in the advice Taylor's friends give her: "And my friends said it isn't right to be scared / Every day of a love affair / Every breath feels like rarest air / When you're not sure if he wants to be there." Love requires certainty and safety, which the you failed to provide. "You said that you loved me, but where were the clues?"

I would also argue that this song is addressing the problem of suffering, suggesting that there is a natural limit to the amount of suffering someone can tolerate before walking away from a situation. It's quite jobian. "Just how low did you / Think I'd go, 'fore I'd / Self-implode, 'fore I'd / Have to go be free?"

Favourite lyric: "You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? / I died on the altar waiting for the proof / You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days" is one of the insanest lines in Taylor's discography, truly brutal yet so well-worded and visceral that you immediately understand why she decided to walk away. Taylor on the altar as the sacrifice made by someone letting their depression control them, Taylor at the altar as the woman waiting for someone to devote themselves wholely to her. Also the superlative "bluest" after many albums of the colour blue being tied to a love tinged by sadness that Taylor had been willing to accept up until this point. ("Don't want no other shade of blue, but you / No other sadness in the world would do.") Truly heartbreaking.

Favourite melodic line: the intro is by far the most beautiful part, melodically, but aside from that "And I'm just getting colour back into my face / I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place" is a really cool switch-up of the rhythm that drives the change in demeanour Taylor is describing home well.

My history with this song:

LOVE!!! MY TOP SONG OF 2024!!!! I TITLED A FIC AFTER LYRICS FROM IT!!!!!!

Thoughts:

"Down Bad" is heartbreaking and kooky at once, with truly excellent UFO-inspired production. The title is one of my favourite instances of Taylor using recent slang and turning it on its head: she is "down bad" as in head-over-heels in love, and she is "down bad" as in lying on the ground and doing quite badly.

I love the central image of a short-lived relationship feeling like an alien abduction that Taylor enjoyed while it was happening but cannot return to "normal life" after, which is an idea that parallels "Fortnight".

"Did you really beam me up / In a cloud of sparkling dust? / Just to do experiments / Tell me I was the chosen one / Showed me that this world is bigger than us / Then sent me back where I came from? / For a moment I knew cosmic love / Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym."

The fact she formulates her experience in the form of a question (also "Did you take all my old clothes / Just to leave me here naked and alone?") gives a sense the whole experience was so shortlived and intense it doesn't feel real. Furthermore, Taylor fears that she will be called crazy for recalling any of it: "They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about / The existence of you." This is a fascinating take on memory: on the one hand, Taylor is completely changed by her experience and cannot return to the world before, on the other, she is questioning the experience so much that she's comparing it to famously unprovable urban myths – which adds a layer of wishful-thinking/faith (à la "I want to believe") to her framing of this relationship. It's another great epistomological feast.

The other big motif of "Down Bad" is age-regression: "Everything comes out, teenage petulance / Fuck it if I can't have him / I might just die it would make no difference." Taylor is so distressed by this abandonment that the only course of action she sees is to retreat into adolescent dramatics.

The bridge also feels like an argument for the value of passion. In it, Taylor describes the you's "hostile take-overs" and "indecent exposures", and states that she loves them despite the obvious toxicity. In that vein, the song continues TTPD's head-on examination of destructive romances. Once again, Taylor is both a willing participant – based on her attitude – and completely passive based on her actions, which instills more of the alienation (hah!) that is the bread and butter of this album in a listener. It's extremely cool to me how it's both relatable and off-putting at once, because I think it gets at something raw that few people are willing to confess to.

I love how the verses are floaty and extremely melodic and contrast with the literal one-noteness of the chorus – for a moment she was heaven-struck, but now she is down bad and she cannot get up. It's one of the best marrying of melody and content in her discography.

Favourite lyric: "I loved you're hostile take-overs / Encounters, closer and closer / All your indecent exposures / How dare you say that it's-------" I am a sucker for implied rhymes AND she is denying the overness by not singing the word!!!!!!!! AMAZING

Favourite melodic line: "Did you really beam me up / In a cloud of sparkling dust?" is one of Taylor's most gorgeous melodies ever

My history with this song:

Nothing specific comes to mind.

Thoughts:

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys" is one of the few straightforwardly catchy songs on TTPD – melodically varied, dark, yet with an exceptionally infectious chorus that I was already singing along to on my second or third listen. It portrays a toxic relationship, not unlike the one in the previous song, but the fact that Taylor is now comparing herself to a helpless doll suffering abuse at the hands of a violent boy suggests a very different power dynamic to her paternalism in the title track (though it continues to infantilize her partner).

The image is made all the more disturbing by the overtness of Taylor's excuses for her boy, which she recites robotically like a script: "There was a litany of reasons why / We could've played for keeps this time / I know I'm just repeating myself / Put me back on my shelf / But first – pull the string and I'll tell you that he runs because he loves me."

It's always struck me how stylized the first four tracks of TTPD are, painting a very extreme picture of Taylor's emotions while also consistently framing her in an overly passive position (most overtly on this song and the next one). I personally think this choice had a disproportionate impact on the criticisms TTPD received upon release – there's a certain level of alienation due to how direct and confessional Taylor is being whilst admitting to an attraction to obviously unhealthy situations.

One of the fascinating themes of TTPD is the vicious cycle of poor mental health begetting more misery: "Oh here we go again / The voices in his head / Called the rain to end our days of wild" Taylor also appears to have entered this situation due to previous unhappy cirumstances: "The sickest army doll / Purchased at the mall." (Fascinating she doesn't actually call herself a Barbie but an army doll.) Furthermore, she indicates that healing would free her of this relationship: "Once I fix me / He's gonna miss me." Alternatively, that line could be read to mean the boy only desires Taylor as a broken person, is attracted to her damage similarly to her.

While the whole song is musically incredibly fun, I want to especially point out the bridge/outro that is sung so beautifully and builds up the drama in a way that invites a perhaps slightly alienated listener back in. "He was my best friend" feels like a quintessentially Taylor moment where she gets right to the core of a complicated emotion with simple well-chosen words.

The song presents a disturbing yet earnest philosophy of love in the form of an argument for the value of passion, one which Taylor immediately calls into question herself: "I felt more when / We played pretend / Than with all the Kens, 'cause / He took me out my box / Stole my tortured heart / Left all these broken parts / Told me I'm better off / But I'm not / I'm not / I'm not." Like previous tracks on the album, the song deals with the paradox of feelings one knows are destructive but seeks out anyways ("I love you / It's ruining my life.") Indeed, the title line is itself an expression of cope: Taylor is broken by her boy, but she longs to feel like someone's favourite, longs for someone to "take her out her box".

Memory plays a role in her inability to cut ties with this boy: "But you should've seen him when he first got me." She clings to the beginning of her relationship, presumably before it turned destructive, choosing to identify with the past more than the present.

Favourite lyric: "He was my best friend / Down at the sandlot" :/

Favourite melodic line: the whole "Just say when / I'd play again" segment <///3

My history with this song:

I know it has some clunky af lines but it's grown on me a ton.

Thoughts:

"The Tortured Poets Department" is a strange, partially overwritten song, but also, I would argue, one of Taylor's most thematically pertinent title tracks, demonstrating the pitfalls of a relationship built on a shared belief in its unique torturedness. The song is flawed, but I'll be damned if I don't point out that the "You're not Dylan Thomas" hook is incredibly catchy and genuinely iconic.

"You left your typewriter at my apartment / Straight from the tortured poets department / I think some things I never say / Like 'Who uses typewriters anyway?'"

I've had long debates about what sort of department this is – a section in a department store, indicating torturedness as a mass product to be bought by any customer who demands it? Or, as Taylor described it for the "Fortnight" music video, a "government municipal building where they study poets", indicating the continuous dehumanization of the suffering artist? Or, as a friend of mine speculated, a department at a university, indicating the institutionalization and canonization of the tortured poet archetype. Either way, the phrasing interrogates the concept of a tortured poet, and the song in general portrays the relationship between Taylor and the you as destructive and codependent: "But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave / And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen / Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be / 'Cause we're crazy / So tell me, who else is gonna love me?"

Taylor wants to critique the seemingly "pretentious" use of the typewriter but she cannot bring herself to do it, because on some level she identifies with it, with being a tortured poet, in spite of herself.

"I laughed in your face and said: / 'You're not Dylan Thomas / I'm not Patti Smith / This ain't the Chelsea Hotel / We're modern idiots.'" – This line is sort of an anti-"Style" statement, wherein Taylor outright rejects comparing her relationship to timeless icons, as though she recognizes the power and danger of identifying too much with the role of the tortured artist. Yet, she also immediately undercuts her callout: "And who's gonna hold you like me?" – Taylor paints herself as the saviour of the you, as their one true understander ("Who else decodes you?"), perhaps the only one able to put them in their place and cut through their delusions of grandeur, while in fact being more and more sucked into their self-pitying cyclone. She also has grown to believe that no one else will want her the way she is: "Who else is gonna love me?"

Hence why she cannot bring herself to comment on the typewriter. She too has become a tortured poet – and she needs this one to love her.

The song culminates in the you jokingly immitating a proposal ("At dinner you'd take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one / People put wedding rings on / And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding") which introduces the theme of (empty) promises of marriages that is incredibly present on this album.

Favourite lyric: "But you're in self-sabotage mode / Throwing spikes down on the road / But I've seen this episode / And still I love the show."

Favourite melodic line: "I think some things I never say / Like who uses typewriters anyway?"

My history with this song:

Obviously, it charted decently, but methinks this one is actually rather underrated by fans. It's a slowburn I've come to genuinely adore.

Also, the live performance was a goddamn work of art (the TTPD tour segment of the Eras Tour is probably the finest spectacle Taylor ever put together in general).

ALSO, I fucking love the music video, AMAZING imagery *points at blog header*.

Thoughts:

"Fortnight" is a hazy, dreary song, strangely midtempo for a Taylor album opener and strangely monotonous for a Taylor song point-blank – yet that is its hidden genius. The track is primarily about the aftermath of a shortlived passionate relationship, emphasizing the mundanity of everyday life in comparison to a whirlwind romance: "And for a fortnight, there we were, forever / Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather." The you still being in Taylor's life becomes extra torture as she is forced to put on a neutral face and pretend she isn't suffering while interacting with someone she still feels deeply about.

The song also contrasts the you with Taylor's cheating husband, immediately introducing a crucial motif of The Tortured Poets Department: the absentee romantic partner as well as his narrative foil, the unstable, passionate lover (though the album also enjoys conflating the two).

I adore the motif of suburbia embodying boring normality ("Your wife waters flowers") as well as the lost potential of the short-term relationship ("Move to Florida / Buy the car you want / But it won't start up / 'Til it touch, touch, touch you.") It also contrasts with the old-timeyness of an American using the frame "fortnight".

It's also so interesting how the opening line "I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me" seems to be picking up from the ending of "Hits Different", directly and explicitly tying Taylor's previous discography into the story of this album, which in so many ways feels like a culmination of all ten records that preceded it.

"Fortnight" seems to both argue for and against the value of passion – on the one hand, Taylor idealizes the beautiful fortnight she spent with her lover; on the other, she is now "stuck in an endless February" after having had a taste of true passion: "I love you / It's ruining my life." – She sings it almost matter-of-factly, so repressed that she cannot even externalize the agony. It's always struck me that this was a teased lyric before the album came out and I at the time assumed it would be a loud, dramatic declaration.

Memory is, of course, the driver behind the "miracle move-on drug" not working as well as it should have: "And for a fortnight, there we were," Taylor recalls almost lovingly. Yet, despite the pain this memory puts her through, she still insists on affirming the reality of the finite, bygone time she spent with the you: "I touched you for only a fortnight / But I touched you."

Favourite lyric: "I took the miracle move-on drug / The effects were temporary" – TTPD thesis statement perhaps, on top of being an S tier line. And of course "I love you / It's ruining my life."

Favourite melodic line: "I love you / It's ruining my life." <3

My history with this song:

This track came out a week before the Beatles' "Now And Then" during which I was speed-running a bunch of Beatles solo releases up to 1980 and it's one of like 4 songs I got obsessed with basically simultaneously and it made me crazy for a bit.

I overdosed on music partially because of this song.

Thoughts:

"Is It Over Now?" is a pop song with absolutely killer structure and tension building (a bridge BEFORE the second pre-chorus and then as an outro after an instrumental break?? amazing!) that is also EXACTLY the type of unhinged I adore coming from Taylor. Devastating and funny at once (shout out to the tone of "But no" – how do you sing sarcastically???), it continues the 1989 vault theme of longing for commitment and directness and instead getting nonchalance at best and nothing at all at worst. All these tracks really contrast stuff like "Style", wherein Taylor seems to match the you's casual attitude.

It's also notable to me how much more accusatory the 1989 vault is when compared to the standard album. I've mentioned that 1989 is an album I tend to rank lower because it feels like it's keeping me at an emotional arm's length, which makes this vault possibly the most rewarding as a whole to me, really deepening the devastation at the heart of a seemingly feel-good album.

On that note: "And did you think I didn't see you? There were flashing lights / At least I had the decency to keep my nights / Out of sight / Only rumours 'bout my hips and thighs / And my whispered sighs" is one of the most interesting vault moments: Taylor declares that keeping her flings under wraps – e.g. keeping this very track in the vault for nine years – was an act of decency towards her ex, which she was not granted in return. As with "You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath", the vault is a meaningful place for Taylor to keep her songs; it is not only for tracks that simply weren't good enough.

Thematically, "Is It Over Now?" explores Taylor's and the you's inability to move on from their relationship: they both seek out new romances but continue to see each other in every prospective partner: "I see your profile and your smile on unsuspecting waiters"; "Your new girl is my clone"; "If she's got blue eyes I will surmise that you'll probably date her."

Both of them are haunted by visions of the other: "I slept all alone / But you still wouldn't go"; "'Come here' / I whispered in your ear / In your dream as you passed out." Because I'm me, I'm gonna count this as a memory moment, even though it's actually a bit of an edge case. "You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor" is definitely a memory so >:)

Favourite lyric: I LOVE the non-sequitur "I think about jumping / Off of very tall somethings" line because it has EXACTLY the effect Taylor wants: to suddenly grab the listener's attention, to finally be noticed. It's a cool way of actually toying with the audience, which she perfects on "But Daddy I Love Him". Also, shoutout to "Let's fast-forward to 300 takeout coffees later", just because it's iconic.

Favourite melodic line: "You search in every model's bed for something greater, baby" WHAT a prechorus!!!!!

My history with this song:

uhhh "Flush with the currency of cool" kind of inspired a line I wrote in a fic shortly after this song came out lol

Thoughts:

I must admit, "Suburban Legends" always seemed overwritten to me (and I don't say that very easily about Taylor tracks tbh), but I really like the bridge + vocals, and think the concept is neat, if imperfectly executed: Taylor is looking back at a failed relationship through the lens of a highschool couple that she had amounted to more.

Overall the song plays with a loss of innocence: "You kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever", alongside Taylor's broken teenaged romance fantasies she has to move on from. It's fun that the title, which refers to Taylor's power couple ambitions, encompasses the phrase "urban legends" – perhaps the concept of becoming a suburban legend is merely an urban legend.

We also got some memory here: "I know that you still remember / We were born to be national treasures." This is a huge contrast to Taylor's usual epistemological uncertainty and memory delta problem. The you remembers these ambitions, and Taylor is certain of this. It's very ATW5-coded (and distinctly not ATW10). She also gets stuck in a flashback: "I am standing in a 1950s gymnasium / And I can still see you now." Indeed, being screwed up forever by a kiss implies it's an inescapable memory that prevents Taylor from moving on.

And an intriguing tidbit on writing: "I had the fantasy […] you'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries / With the pages ripped out." That's a fascinating statement to come out of vault track: I wish you were more than a story I don't even want to re-read myself; I wish you weren't somehting I regret writing. It contrasts greatly with Taylor's dream of a great romance with the you and is a striking demonstration of the disappointment the song deals with.

Favourite lyric: "I broke my own heart 'cause you were too polite to do it." something about this is just so 1989-Taylor coded and it delights me endlessly.

Favourite melodic line: the second time Taylor sings "Waves crash to the shore / I dash to the dore / You don't knock anymore / And I always knew it" is so great! I love the little pauses and the higher notes.