Back To Ones

|| Rock on. My little collection of ‘stress rocks’ ||

Stress. It’s a big part of my life. And sometimes I really believe that I am a little addicted to it, because I certainly don’t go out of my way to avoid it. When I’m not working, deadlines are really important to motivate me, but that doesn’t mean I do anything until the last minute anyway. I like the stress of rushing. The same thing applies every time I get up to go somewhere. I’ll hit snooze until the last possible second and barely have enough time to shower and dress before I have to leave. (thank goodness for breakfast on set...)

Stress can come from a number of places. Sometimes it’s internal, my long term addiction to putting pressure on myself, always striving for perfection, and rarely achieving my own ridiculous standards. I like to be halfway out to adjusting a background action before the director even thinks to say something. I like to say to my boss that the cast are already bugged and standing by before he can ask. I pride myself on it.

Sometimes it comes from being too relaxed and misreading the set. That attitude of “nah, I can wait another 5 minutes to call for the extras” suddenly becomes “Great, now I only have a minute to dress 30 extras in.” Those are the moments I really kick myself because it’s avoidable stress. I didn’t have to make life so hard.

Sometimes it comes from above. If my boss is stressing about time (and even if they aren’t showing it) I feel that, and take it onboard. At it’s best, I become super switched on, hyper vigilant and watch my teams back, make sure we aren’t surprised by unexpected delays. At its worst I can border on micromanagement.

Sometimes my stress is driven by hunger. If we’re getting close to lunch and my blood sugar level is dropping, then watch out. I get angsty and suddenly any little concerns become a big deal.

Stress management, there for is a HUGE part of my life on set. Here are some ways that help me manage my stress levels:

1. Carry Snacks - Whether I stockpile them from the trolley, or bring them from home, my set bag always has a snack in it. Usually hunger-stress hits right when I can’t get to the tea trolley, so carrying a snack means that I don’t have to stop what I’m doing to get my emotions back in check.

2. You Can’t Control Everything - This ties in with my need for perfection. I have this written on my notebook to remind me that no matter how bad things are getting, stressing about what I could have done is not going to help fix the problem now. It also reminds me that shit happens and you just have to roll with it.

3. ‘Stress Rocks’ - The rocks don’t actually do anything, but I have always found comfort in having something to play with. Often I’ll take a couple in my bag (not all of them because it would be too heavy!) and if I’m feeling a bit strung out, I’ll grab a rock. It helps especially when there’s nothing I can do to solve the problem. It gives me something to do. Five of them were gifts. The others I bought because they appealed to me in some way. For example, the gold one is a bit showy, but I like the way it feels when I hold it. The same for the reddish one near the back. It has a neat little dimple in it which is perfect for my thumb.

This is kind of the re-birth of this blog. And a lot has happened since my last real blog post.

For the past two years, I've worked on features, shorts, ads and music videos. Mostly as a Unit Assistant or PA, but the highlights includes officially Thirding a kids feature that's just been released, Producing a music video for a well known band and Production Co-ordinating a drama that's yet to hit theatres.

Most importantly, I've just moved from Perth to Melbourne. In October last year a friend called to say he'd found a job that could use my experience with children. 10 days later, I was on the other side of the country. 4 months later it was over and I was moving states.

And boy has it been a while. Almost 2 years in fact.

I've always had dodgy feet, so it's no surprise to me that I come home from set with sore calves, ankles and arches.  

I've tried all kinds of shoes on set to relieve some of the aches and pains that come with standing for 11 hours a day. Runners, converse, welly boots, fashion flats etc etc. Price always prevented me from going to work boots, as well as my skinny ankles looking ridiculous sticking out the top of them. 

I've always thought that hiking boots were the answer, and I'm glad to say that after 4 hrs on set today, signs point to yes. My new, beloved purple hiking boots had their first on-set test and passed with flying colours. Of course, the true test will come next week with a full day in the sun. We wait and hope.

I'm meant to be an additional AD tomorrow on the biggest job to hit Perth since I've started paying attention.

And I'm getting nervous because I haven't heard anything since last Friday about it.

I go into my first day of intensive story conferencing with one of Australia's best producers...

I've been told if I make a good impression, it could lead to work on some of the other work this lady has on the go. Gosh, I hope so!!!!

I was a little exhausted and angry in my last post.

Having had some sleep and a vent to various friends, things seem a little better. 

Was the shoot bad? Yes. Do I regret being involved? Not in the slightest. Yes, I felt a little used, abused and jilted after the shoot. Yes I think the director to stick to his main profession (being a focus puller!)  Yes the Producer was very demanding and expected people to go above and beyond. But she sent me a lovely email this evening, so I don't feel so bad towards the project at all now.

But boy, did I learn! And I can't ask for more than that! I'd never come across such a difficult director before, and I didn't handle it very well. He was confrontational and I got very defensive and shut down. There was one point in the shoot where I gave up on reminding him how over we were. Gave up on my job.

It's fair to say that I learnt more about myself in those hours & how to develop as an AD. My pre-pro on this was shocking, my organisation was terrible, and my ability to re-rail a struggling shoot needs a lot of work. 

But I'm learning. Everyone has there struggles and the trick is to get up and claw your way back up.

Plus, on the bright side, I scored a 6 week (one day a week) internship with a well known Production Company today. And I'm going into an intensive development week next week! So much to look forward to!