It's been a while since I've been here.
I kinda miss the relief of typing my emotions onto a screen where little to no one reads my inner thoughts.
What brings me here at this very moment is the confusion that I feel for myself. I don't know if this is selfish but I am consumed in sexuality. I have this constant need to be wanted. I want to be want not just romantically but sexually as well. I used to feel it, and every so often I would feel those emotions from my S.O. however, I know that this wall we have between us is going to drive me mad if it doesn't fall.
What's funny is that I'm in a relationship and I think like someone who is not in one. My needs are taken care of and ik she loves me, but I crave that desire for some reason. I want to spend money on her for her love and passion along with happiness. I do everything in my power to take care of her because of my love for her. My sex drive is just way to high for my S.O. and the state she is in.
I just can't help my self, the way she looks especially when she looks at me. God has made such a beautiful women, she deserves even better than I when it comes to this world... when it comes to me.
I ate a strawberry from her fruit bowl and wished it was hers that I was eating. The warmth of her skin on my face causes emense jot inside me. To know she wants me to make her cum is what I strive for. I want her as she is and to use to also please myself. I wasn't always thinking like this but now this is what I yearn for.
I hope one day she asks me to give her everything. To force my face down on her, to use me as I use her...
