Baby Blue 💫

Crazy that I'll make art and post it anonymously on another platform and find my mutuals here reblogging it from somebody reposting but I'll still always post it anonymously because the fear of being known is not merely a quirk but pathological™️

Does nobody else care that lamps and bulbs aren't advertised in low/no daylight ??? We deserve better

I cry because I think about some of the strangers who let me sit and talk their ear off aa a little girl that always ran too far from home to find a spot of peace for the day or let me be completely silent and enjoy their garden without knowing who I was and I cry because I understand this is not commonplace and I was lucky enough to be understood momentarily before I could express it but I feel so grateful as if angels popped into my life momentarily exactly when I needed them

As someone with schizoaffective family members it's sooooooo hard not to participate in "magical thinking" when I think something and it happens a day later, there's only so much pattern recognition I can blame it on before I start telling myself I'm the reason bad things happen

I sincerely think the new medical "revelation" of illnesses that are "treated" with calming your nervous system is a complete oversight. There are no systems that actively reward or calm your system under the current atmosphere, logging off has become political, there's no way of disconnecting without coming up to a wall that requires you to in some way be "logged on". Digital space is not separate from the world we live in, it's actively influencing infrastructure and the people you socialize with, it's always present. And it requires money. I do not blame people who resort to spam tactics, flooding ai etc when it's rewarding people more than the opportunity they have at home. I cannot stress enough that this mass occurrence of nervous systems being impacted is not a fault of the person or caused by something they're not doing, it does not feel coincidental that the sheer amount of people impacted by these coincides with the prevalence of dependency on unreliable digital systems/expectations and blurring of perceived reality.

Google how do I not punish and mentally torture self for accidentally killing a slug

Actually I think about the fact I'll probably never have a daughter because of my illnesses and my whole entire life I never wanted children because I thought I'd be a bad mother but when life hands you lemons, who will I make lemonade for??