Uh Huh, Honey

The police walk in and you’re wearing the one on the left. When they tell you he’s dead you gasp daintily, excuse yourself for a moment, then come back in the one on the right.

plugmami

i’m fucked because none of my passions are going to yield financially stable careers and i’m not hot enough to be a trophy wife

make america mexico again

Where to cop? @ Texas, California, Nevada, Utah, most of Arizona, about half of New Mexico, about a quarter of Colorado, and a small section of Wyoming, i’m looking straight at y'all vatos 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed 

750,324 people whose mama taught them right

beyonce’s got me ready for a divorce and i’m not even married