the fairy ring

I hope this doesn't feel so daunting and direct. People have the ability to grow past their toxic traits. I know they will seep through from time to time, it's a part of learning. People aren't always bad, forever. I know plenty are, just purely to their core; these people usually have no redeeming quality. It's the easy way out to say someone bad is the root of your insecurities, to say someone who mistreats or has mistreated you in the past has every vendetta against you so it justifies having a cruel personality now. But girlhood isn't calling people names just because they were mean to you in the past, this is bullying. Asking the question "is this person egging me on?" over something mundane and everyone saying "Yes, call them out!" isn't healthy support, this is toxic. Blind support without reason is the whole reason our state is in the position it's in now. This is cycle of abuse. This is what is causing a "bad image" to strangers. Worrying about someone online to a point you are no longer a functioning human being with regulation disfunction in real life is obsession. Someone who hospitalized me, spread rumors about me, made illness a competition, posted about me, got my parents involved, got my partner involved in any negative interaction I ever had with them I have forgiven. I don't have it in me to mind anymore if they post about me occasionally or took pieces of me with them when I left. I am not a prisoner to things that happened to me. Someone hundred of miles away in a different time-zone? I have no reason to fear them. There is nothing bad enough this person can do at this point to cause real harm harm to me in my real day to day life. Girlhood involves holding loved ones accountable. Saying "I don’t see any evidence that this is happening, but I understand why it feels overwhelming" instead of enforcing an idea that seems unlikely is not anti-support. Enforcing delusions is enabling, and enabled toxic behavior can cause reaching to go farther and farther. I'm simply not safe if I can't say "I think you are wrong in this situation but I care how this made you feel" being followed by being subtweeted for being unsupportive and self centered and all these other things. Me saying "This thing you are hurt over right now is not a big deal, there has to be something else causing this grand of a reaction" to be ignored for the day, but subtweeted all afternoon is not girlhood. It's manipulation and fear tactics to force me to agree with you or face the consequences. My friendships will not be prisons. I'm silently stepping back. You cannot be subject to your own mental health, your own unhappy environment... not choosing to grow out of those things will perpetuate a cycle of never changing and living miserably. You have to emotionally adapt. You cannot be emotionally maladaptive. And this is something that will follow you at 40, 50, 60 and onward. You have to do the hardships to get to the place that is good and safe. You have to blame yourself in a way that isn't sad and seeking attention and tearing yourself down. This is where I fall flat, this is how I will pick myself up. So many people would be happier if they didn't decide to be comfortable in their discomfort, and make real, annoying, exhausting, repetitive changes in their lives. Realizing it's hard sometimes, but your life on the other side of all of that will be so much better. Put in a little bit of work NOW and get the ball rolling.