crazy but you like that

She loved Barbara. Cass didn’t know when it happened either. Perhaps it was something that came from spending so much time with her. Just like with Bruce, Stephanie, her brothers and Barbara’s own daughter, her heart swelled with affection at the thought of them. One day, Barbara senior joined in that crowd of people she loved so dearly without containment. “Badass family,” She exclaimed proudly. “We are.” More to say, Barbara was a badass. A strong woman, a kind woman, and a woman that Cass loved more then she knew what to do with. Her grin only furthered at the promise of movies. “Disney?” She beckoned. There were still many she hadn’t seen, it seemed like a good time to fill in some blanks (she had a whole list of them). 

-

A little laugh left her lips at Cass’s words, and she nodded. “Yes, we are,” she said, offering Cass a little smile. It was touching to think she might be an example to someone -- even with her own kids, considering their inherent personalities, it seemed like they’d always leaned toward following Jim’s example. Peter clearly had a dream of becoming a cop, and she didn’t think they’d be able to talk him out of it. She wasn’t sure if she was actually a good influence on Cass...or anyone, for that matter. But she adored the young woman nonetheless. “Yes, Disney,” she said, with a little laugh. “Peter will like that. He’s been obsessed with the ones that came out when his sister was his age.”

“Unfortunately, not all of us can use our looks to get ahead in life.” Oswald said, turning to face Barbara head-on. “I’ll keep your advice in mind. Next time I can just drop my clutch. You’re life is not universal.” he rolled his eyes as he shuffled closer to the counter, taking little notice of what was in the case. It would be theirs eventually. “I don’t recall us ever working together before.” Oswald said, as if he was raking his brain. Oswald worked with only a few people, mostly due to the fact that majority of people in Gotham didn’t like him. And he had believed Barbara was also on that list. “Do I owe you a favor now? Or is the pleasure you get from gloating in my face enough?”

Theo nodded his head, a somber solidarity setting over him. Barbara couldn’t have had it easy in that house with that woman. Neither Ed could have either, with that awful man at the brunt of it. The two people who gave him life making both of his half sibling’s lives hell, the very worst of them both and he was the result of it. There was no world in which he had a happy childhood. Even being tossed around the foster system, Theo was starting to think he had been better off then Ed and Barbara had been. The damage they suffered came from people who were supposed to love them. Theo had been resigned to being damaged by people who didn’t care. He never had the betrayal of trust being broken like they had. None of them had a chance at happiness in childhood it seemed. A sobering thought. “Maybe you would have been better off.” Strangers you knew didn’t give a shit was better then loved ones who made the choice not to. Then again, were you better off with the devil you know or an unknown? He couldn’t help but grin at the little creature, so tiny and full of energy, as well light. The thought that he had ever once been so small was startling. Nonetheless soon Peter was by his side too and smiling right at him like sunshine. “Not super experienced in tree putting up little man, but if your mama’s okay with it I’d be happy to give it a shot.” Theo offered, looking at Barbara for permission. He didn’t want to intrude if this was something special she did with her son. “I… thank you.” He was surprised by the offer, touched even. “So, where do we start?”

-

Babs smiled faintly at the idea, shrugging. “I wouldn’t have met Jim,” she said. “And I wouldn’t have my children.” Whatever she had endured at the hands of her mother, or because of her father’s silence in the matter, it was worth it when she thought of it that way. She was a wreck even with their collective good influence. God only knew what she would be without them. Peter smiled up at him, giving his hand a little pat. “S’okay, I’ll he’p you,” he said. “It’s easy. You put on lights, n’ornaments, and...” He leaned back and looked at him. “Maybe you can put the star on top. Mama has to get a step ladder.” Babs gestured toward the front hall closet. “The tree is in here. We used to get a real one, but then we got the cat, and the thing started scattering pine needles everywhere like it was an Olympic sport. Just give me a few minutes, it won’t take long.” Barbara, being Barbara, had a top of the line fake tree that looked vividly real, a faux-Fraser fir that was over six feet tall, with white lights already in place. But they liked to add the colored lights, which twinkled softly, along with ornaments the family had collected over the years. “Look,” Peter said proudly, holding on up. “I made dis one last year. I was a baby then. It’s a snowman.”

“No.” It was Cassandra’s instant answer. Barbara was practically family in her eyes, the same as Jim, Barbara Jr, and Alfred. Plus Bruce would be happy for her having a proper sleepover and bringing friends home. At worst case scenario Cass could pull out what Dick dubbed ‘the puppy eyes’. She never needed them before but he once promised her they were very helpful. “You’re family.” She meant it in earnest, even if she knew Barbara wouldn’t be so sure to believe her. Cass nodded and smiled at the suggestion. “I’d like to meet him.” she had never met him properly, and the idea sounded fun. “We could braid.” Thats what Stephanie said happened at sleepovers, wasn’t it? “And movies!” She was getting excited. 

-

A faint smile crossed Barbara’s face as the young woman spoke. She wasn’t easily touched emotionally, but from the beginning, Cass had tugged at her heartstrings. Maybe something about Cass’s staunch defense of this city, her kind heart, reminded Barbara of her own daughter. Or maybe Babs was just getting soft, which wasn’t a prospect she particularly enjoyed considering. “Thank you,” she said softly. “That means a lot to me. I think of you as family, too.” She smiled. “I’m sure he’s going to like you very much,” she said. She laughed as Cass went on. “Yes, we could braid each other’s hair,” she agreed. “And we can watch whatever movies you want.”

He let out a soft sigh when she spoke, leaving it at that. They didn’t need to continue talking about her attitude. Instead, he put his mind on her safety. Her hair was matted with blood and though she was smiling at him and interacting with Peter who was partially out of it from sleep. She was injured and he needed to rush her into leaving with him. He glanced around for his car before his eyes landed on an officer who was leaning against his police cruiser. It might be smarter to take that just in case he needed to use the sirens to get to the clinic or the hospital a little quicker. He glanced back to her, feeling Peter nuzzle up against him and head back to sleep. “Great!” He said, noting the tone in her voice. She wasn’t fond of their son being interested in his father’s job and it was something Jim easily understood. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t fond of it either. It was too dangerous of a job. He lost officers far too often and he hated the idea of losing Peter like that. He wanted to edge him away from the idea in the future but right now- he was just too young and there was no point. “You really can’t say that in front of me.” Jim told her sternly before using his free hand to grab her upper arm. Taking her towards the officer.

-

Babs pouted a little when he just sighed at her, like she was a troublesome knot that he couldn’t figure out how to undo. She gave him a look from underneath her eyelashes at his response to her words, a soft sigh falling from her lips. “I don’t think we’re going to be able to change his mind,” she murmured, as if she had caught onto Jim’s thoughts. She brushed her fingers gently through her son’s dark blonde hair as Peter rested his head against Jim’s shoulder. “Right now, he wants to be a cop because you’re a cop. He idolizes you. But I just have the feeling it’s going to end up being more than that, and we won’t be able to talk him out it.” She tugged the sleeves of the oversized sweatshirt over Peter’s little hands to protect them from the cold, giving a little shrug. “Mother’s intuition, I guess. But I’ll hold out hope that he got an aptitude for math somewhere in his genetic makeup, and he’ll become an accountant.” She paused. “You know, an actual accountant with a legal business.” You had to clarify in Gotham. Barbara scowled as Jim started to frog-march her toward the cruiser, trying to yank her arm free. “Don’t perp walk me, Jim,” she snapped, lifting her chin. “It’s not like I’m going to take a hit out on her or anything. But I’m definitely going to make her cry when I fire her, that’s legal, isn’t it?”

“Well, shit.” Tara cursed, a cringe at the sight. There goes that enjoyment. “You want me in there boss lady?” She asked. With her powers it was no trouble taking them down. She saw the natural security beginning to interject instead, but kept her eyes peeled in case they couldn’t handle it. 

-

Babs sighed softly as she watched the scene unfold, waiting for a moment to see if Tara was needed. “Get the man out of here,” she said. “Make it clear he’s not welcome back. I won’t have any man putting hands on a woman in my club.”

Babs sighed, glancing over at Oswald with an arched eyebrow. “Yes, of course, I have a plan,” she said impatiently. ​“It’s rather simple. Just watch.” As the employee came out from the back room, Barbara flashed him a brilliant smile, leaning onto the jewelry store counter. “Can you tell me about your sapphire collection?” she asked, her voice soft and inviting. “You had such a gorgeous selection the last time I was here.” She smiled at him again, lowering her voice. “Although if you had been there then, I doubt I would have noticed them...” She straightened, and the clutch she had tucked under her arm fell to the floor and burst open. “Oh!” Immediately, the employee hurried around the counter to help her, and in the bustle, Babs slipped the bug under the edge of the counter. When the employee was in the back again, checking on those sapphires, Babs glanced at Oswald. “You see?” she said. “Now we’ve bugged the place, and you’ll be able to tell when everyone is gone tonight. You’re welcome.”

“I’m not going to psycho-analyze you on that statement.” she let out a laugh. “But just enjoy the affection, I’m in a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ mood you know? Newly single, singing at my favourite club, doing something that makes me feel good, when everything else is a goddamn mess.” Dinah vented. 

-

“Feel free, people have bee trying to get me into therapy for years,” Babs said dryly, shrugging her shoulders. She wasn’t going to go. She had tried it, and she felt like it had done nothing but dredge things up. She snorted. “When isn’t everything a goddamn mess?” she said. “Is there anything in particular?”

Theo snorted. He liked hearing her laugh, his sister (he didn’t know for sure yet but god he wanted it. Desperately he wanted as much family as he could, he hadn’t known it for so long he couldn’t help but be selfish). He knew his fair share of dickhead parents. At least he was lucky enough to know from the start they didn’t care, Barbara probably hadn’t been so lucky. If Theo had to guess, he would imagine she thought they were be better when she was little. She probably had heart broken by them. He grimaced at the thought. “Damning evidence, huh?” Was damning the right word? It felt accurate yet it also felt like he was the damnation. Something Barbara would be stuck with. He didn’t want that for her, not if she didn’t want him in her life. Was family always so complicated? “Duly noted.” He responded without much surprise. Gotham being full of hypocrites was only further evidence of what he’d already seen. Theo couldn’t help but laugh at her words, it was a deep one too. It shouldn’t have been so funny but it was. “Sorry.” He said covering his mouth, he knew she meant every word and it technically shouldn’t be so funny. Maybe he was just morbid. “Good, I’m glad you have a partner in parenting. I hear thats important.” It was nice she wasn’t alone in it. The doorball rang and she leaped up to hurry toward it. Theo remained where he sat, unsure if he should stand or attempt to leave or if he may have overstayed his welcome. Oh that was a tiny human being. Peter if he had to guess. Maybe his nephew. Holy shit, he couldn’t curse outloud anymore. He was so fucking cute, what the fuck? Theo had never seen a cuter little human. Child? Whatever. “Hi little man.” Theo responded awkwardly, never have interacted with something so tiny before. “Um…” He looked to Babs for help with the question, not knowing the correct answer. He wouldn’t put her in the predicament of being her brother with a kid too young to understand how complicated the situation was. “Hi Peter, I’m Theo.” He swallowed, suddenly feeling very nervous. Shit. 

-

Babs shrugged her shoulders at his question. “I wouldn’t say damning,” she said. “It definitely makes sense, that’s all. She was not the most maternal of women, to say the absolute least.” She wasn’t quite ready to detail everything her mother had put her through -- she hated talking about it, especially with someone she barely knew. And Theo was still essentially a stranger, even if they were bound by blood. She smiled when he laughed, shrugging again. “It’s fine,” she said. “It’s the truth. I’m always surprised she didn’t just ship me off to a boarding school in the Alps.” As she carried Peter back into the room, Babs gave him a tight hug before setting him on the floor. She would be happy to carry him until her arms gave out, but he was becoming increasingly independent. Babs shrugged helplessly as Theo just looked at her. “Theo is a friend of mine,” she said, which was as close to the truth as they could get right now. Unsurprisingly, as soon as she set Peter down, he made a beeline for Theo, clambering up onto the couch and sitting next to him, offering another bright smile. “Hi, T’eo!” he said. “Do you know what you wan’ for Christmas? Mama sent my list to Santa forever ago. We gonna put up the tree today!” Peter brightened as something occurred to him. “You wanna help? It’s fun!” Babs smiled a little. “You’re more than welcome to stay and help out. And if you want to stay for dinner.”

“You’re not exactly wrong.” He grumbled. Partially to himself. She’d always been a bit of a brat, but beneath all of that. She was fiercely loyal and protective to the people she loved. It was the quality that attracted him to her in the first place. Her recklessness however, stressed him out. Even if he might as well be looking in a mirror. Well aware of his own hypocrisy. He had to wonder if Peter might lose them both and end up alone. Glancing down at his son who slept against his chest, he briefly considered retirement once again before Babs broke his trail of thoughts with her words. “Just bring him by the station. Dick or Harvey won’t mind watching him for an hour. Oh, and fire her. Obviously she’s too neglectful to be watching children. Much less ours.”  

-

Babs smiled at him, though her head was starting to feel so heavy from sheer tiredness that she wasn’t entirely sure how she was managing to hold it upright. “I know, I hardly ever am,” she said, grinning at him, unrepentant as she usually was. Peter stirred as Jim glanced down at him, sighing softly. His eyes fluttered open for a moment, latching onto Barbara. He reached out to gently pat her face, the trailing sleeve of his oversized GCPD sweatshirt brushing against her nose. She faked a cartoonish, high-pitched sneeze -- ahhh-choooo! -- which made him giggle sleepily, and Babs smiled at him. He rested his head back on Jim’s shoulder, nestling his face comfortably against his father’s neck, and within moments he was asleep again. Babs waited for a few moments to make sure he was deeply asleep before she spoke again. “I’ll bring him with me, then. God knows he never gets tired of visiting that place.” She sighed, her tone suggesting she wasn’t thrilled with how attached their son already was to the GCPD. “Her getting fired should be the least of her concerns,” she said dryly. “But she should avoid stairs for a while. And open spaces. And cars, for that matter.”

@babsxkean asked: “she is a mythic bitch.”

Tara smirked back at Babs. “You don’t say that like it’s a bad thing.” If the returning smile on Babs face meant anything it could have been heck of a good one. 

“I mean, it’s impress -- oh.” Babs sighed as the woman in question shoved the man, sending him crashing into one of the tables. She waved one of the security men over to break it up. “I can’t have a fight in the club, it’s a nightmare of paperwork.”

memesandthings:

TEXT MESSAGE STARTERS ! Send one of the prompts below to get a response from my muse.

drunk texts:

( ✉ → sms ) plea se eh elep me im drunk and i dotn know whe re i am

( ✉ → sms ) i fukcing miss yo u

( ✉ → sms ) i look so fuckigjn GOOD

( ✉ → sms ) i csnst stop throwiging up

( ✉ → sms ) fu ck you  for hurting me

( ✉ → sms ) why dotn you ever call me anymore huh

( ✉ → sms ) stop being so fuckigjn borign and coekm to my party

( ✉ → sms ) i dropped my pzziza o nt eh floror im fuckgin pissed

( ✉ → sms ) i j sut left you a 3 mintue long voicemail singing. sorry

( ✉ → sms ) even when i’m durnk ic ant sotp thinking about oyu

hateful texts:

( ✉ → sms ) you’re pathetic

( ✉ → sms ) you make me miserable

( ✉ → sms ) fuck you. delete my number.

( ✉ → sms ) you never meant anything to me, anyway.

( ✉ → sms ) fuck your apologies, you can keep them.

( ✉ → sms ) congrats on always ruining everything

( ✉ → sms ) my life would be so much easier without you.

( ✉ → sms ) and next time you feel like calling me… don’t.

( ✉ → sms ) i don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

( ✉ → sms ) if your goal was to make me hate you, then congratulations. mission accomplished.

misc/random texts:

( ✉ → sms ) i think my neighbor is an alien.

( ✉ → sms ) help me think of a name for my new dog

( ✉ → sms ) sooooo… what was your first impression of me

( ✉ → sms ) should i get pizza or chicken wings for dinner?

( ✉ → sms ) no one’s ever made me feel the way you do.

( ✉ → sms ) i borrowed your weed. hope you don’t mind.

( ✉ → sms ) why do they say drugs are bad when they make you feel so good

( ✉ → sms ) today is the oldest you’ve ever been, but the youngest you’ll ever be again…

( ✉ → sms ) [ File Attached: 001329.jpg ] of all the drunk pictures i have of you, this one is my favorite.

( ✉ → sms ) i used your pics to catfish someone, and since they bought me a laptop… you have a date with them tomorrow.

Cass frowned watching the sorrow clear in Barbara’s expression. She hated seeing those she loved in such sad emotions, and wished she could do something to sway the sorrow away from her friend. She understood where her pain came from, and so without hesitation Cassandra approached her. She took Barbara’s hand in her own and held it tightly. “Home.” She repeated. “With me.” Whether it was Barbara coming to Wayne Manor or Cass staying in her apartment, she wasn’t leaving her alone. 

-

Babs let out a weak little laugh as Cass took her hand. “Don’t you have to ask your father if you can have a sleepover?” she said. Although she doubted that Bruce would care, especially not considering they had known each other for so long. It was hard for her to accept kindness or generosity. It made her feel weak, like she was exposed and someone would take advantage of it. She knew Cass wasn’t like that, but still. “We can go back to my place,” she murmured, swallowing. “Peter would like to meet you when he gets home in the morning, I’m sure.”

“Right. Because I’m going to remind you to be more difficult with me.” He said, sarcasm clear in his tone. He preferred when things were easier between them but it was rare. During the years they spent together, you’d think he’d learn what or what not to say but she was more unpredictable than the criminals he had to track down. He cringed a bit when she described the attack. He wasn’t surprised that she was nonchalant. Just impressed and a little concerned. She’d always been like this but he wasn’t sure if it was strength or if she didn’t mind the concept of death. Not that he could talk. He was sure she’d complained about the same thing when it came to him. “I’ll remember that… but I’m going to be asking for a proper statement tomorrow. If you’ll give it to me.” 

Barbara offered him her sweetest smile, shrugging her shoulders. “Even if I forget, the odds are in my favor. I’m more likely to be exceptionally difficult than otherwise. It’s part of my charm.” She frowned as she noticed him wince, not really understanding the problem. And she didn’t see it as the same thing. She felt like Jim threw himself at death’s door like he was trying to break it down. As for herself, she just didn’t think her death would make much of an impact, but it wasn’t like she was rushing out to meet it. She shrugged. “Fine, but you might have to come to the house. I’m not leaving Peter with that little b--” She cut herself off, eyes flicking toward Peter’s sleeping face tucked safely against Jim’s shoulders. “She just left him there by himself when everything started. She’ll be lucky if I don’t get my hands on her.”

Theo couldn’t help himself from grimacing at that. Not in judgement, he had run off from those foster home fuckers when he was 14, he had no place to cast judgement upon her. His grimace was more for how difficult her life must have become, becoming a mother couldn’t have been easy especially when she was still so young herself. The look on Barbara’s face only justified his own expression. “Sounds like they were dicks.” He offered bluntly. He wasn’t an expert on comfort but he was good at brutal truth, and They called it like he saw. “Fuck, you said you’re 45.” The math was done with brutal finesse in his head. “They kicked you out, probably not even a year after she had me.” The realization was only cut short once he reminded himself they still didn’t know with verified proof that he was her’s, Elizabeth Kean’s. He swallowed, a somber feeling of irrational hope and longing in his chest. “Kinda hypo-fucking-critical of her. Don’t you think?” Theo certainly did. “Huh.” And here he was dead-set on hating the guy. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as Theo first supposed. “He’s a good dad to them both?” As much as it was a question it also felt rhetorical, it was clear Barbara cared for him plenty and he had heavy faith she wouldn’t do so if he was some kind of dead-beat to the kids (Barbara Jr and Peter, his mind supplied). “Yeah, fuck mushy.” He agreed. If it wasn’t for the fear gas that voice mail would have never been made. Her mention of genetically made him feel happier then Theo would willingly admit out loud. “Sounds… shitty.” Theo didn’t know how to comfort. But he cared, not just about hearing about their mom but about Barbara. “You don’t have to talk about it. Her.” He spoke. “Not if it makes you feel…. “ Again, shitty. He didn’t want to reiterate what he’d said already. Instead, Theo said. “What I mean to say is that you don’t owe me anything.” He said it the first time he’d met her and he meant it back then as well as right now. “That includes stories about shitty times or answers to questions or any of that crap. Don’t get me wrong, I want to know you and be in your life- I actually think it’d pretty great but- what I’m getting at, is that it’s gonna always be in your hands.” He wasn’t like their mom and her dad. He also wasn’t much good with emotional things, particularly expression his feelings in words. Finally he said, to summarize. “You don’t gotta talk about nothing you don’t want to talk about.”

-

Babs laughed lightly despite herself, glancing over at him. “They were absolutely dicks,” she said. Some people might say that didn’t matter in the end, not compared to how horrible their deaths were -- but Barbara personally didn’t think the violence of their deaths cancelled out how cruel they had been to her. And, apparently, how cruel they had been to other people. She raised her eyebrows as he seemed to do the math once again, shrugging her shoulders. “Apparently so,” she said. “Honestly, that’s a pretty serious piece of evidence for me. It definitely tracks with the type of person my mother was.” A dry laugh left her lips. “Yeah, well, if you had to choose one word to describe the Gotham elite, it’s hypocrites,” she said. “And nothing was more important to her than remaining part of that elite. Certainly not a child out of wedlock.” She smiled thinly. “Or the child she had in wedlock, if that makes you feel any better.” Another slight smile crossed her lips as he asked about Jim. “He’s a wonderful father to them both,” she said firmly. “They both look up to him. I know Peter certainly idolizes him.” She shrugged. “Mother isn’t a pleasant topic, but I suppose you have a right to know about her. But I’ll keep that in m--” Before she could finish, the doorbell rang, and she gave a little gasp. “Oh, I lost track of time...” Babs jumped up and hurried to open the door, catching Peter up in her arms as he immediately and holding him on her hip. He was getting too big to carry like this, but she was going to savor every moment that she could. She thanked the woman who had brought him home, the mother of the little boy Peter had a playdate with today. “Mama, we watched Paw Patrol, n’we had ants on a log, n’then we played with his race cars, n’then we--” Babs carried Peter back into the living room, and the little boy paused when he saw Theo on the couch. “Oh, hi!” he said cheerfully. “Are you Mama’s friend? I’m Peter! S’nice to meet you.”

“i woke up too early today so i’m gonna make it everyone’s problem.” // @babsxkean​

“So today is no different from any other day is what you’re saying?” Tabby asked, stepping into the middle of the club. Being back in Gotham was strange, and being alive again was even stranger. She hadn’t seen Barbara since before she’d died at Penguin’s hand. The first place she’d thought to visit was Sirens. Tabby knew that someone she used to know had to be there. “Hey, stranger. Bet you thought you’d never see me again.”

-

Babs shrugged as Tabby spoke, allowing that the point was fair enough. “Yes, well, I can’t help that I’m not a morning person,” she said. “There’s nothing I can do about the garbagemen making a racket, but I can make everyone else miserable because of it.” She snorted, pouring Tabby the drink she remembered her taking and putting it on the polished surface of the bar. “Well, considering you were dead the last time I checked, I was pretty confident about that, yeah.”

“Thanks.” He said with a grimace, how embarrassing. Especially because it was his Grans. She used to change his diapers for pete’s sake! Not that she knew that quite yet. He should probably tell her soon though, she was going to find out anyway from either of his parents eventually if she hadn’t already. As she described what the usual crowd of men did he couldn’t help but give a annoyed groan. “Men are gross.” He said this acknowledging he was, in fact, also a man. No matter what time period you were in, it seemed guys were asses. Though in the future they were a bit better at hiding it. “Uh yeah, they were the best I could find.” He admitted grimly. 

-

Babs gave a soft snort as the young man spoke, shrugging. “Don’t I know it,” she said dryly. Men had been hitting on her since she was fifteen, even when she’d been pregnant with each of her children, even when she’d had her wedding ring set on her finger. If anything, the so-called flirting had been even more vulgar when she was married than it was afterward, not that she would refer to it as charming now. “Where are your pants?” she said. “I’ll send them out for drycleaning. You can’t walk around in these all day, you look like a half-dressed clown.”