mors vincit omnia

i remember when i first moved out and i felt them protecting me.

i haven't felt their presence in about 4 years.

i'm turning 30 in a month...i feel like i should've been to atleast 3 states and 2 foreign countries by now. now it's harder to travel thanks to the political atmosphere we're in. i guess it's not the end of the world (lol) but i hope to see these places before time eventually runs out shanghai, hong kong, japan, south korea, london, amsterdam, africa (not sure which country just yet), new zealand, denmark, netherlands life is about taking risks, and i feel like i always play it too safe.

I never realized how much I hold my breath. I noticed I hold air into my lungs until I complete whatever task I'm doing. I won't let myself breathe until I've successfully played the correct notes on my base. I don't inhale or exhale during strength training.

Why am I holding my own oxygen hostage?

I catch myself rushing, too. Why am I hurriedly doing menial tasks like I'm being hunted for sport? It's really not that deep.

I noticed I tend to do it at work, but it's not as debilitating. Probably because the physical aspect of typing on a mechanical keyboard feels soothing.

I can't wait until breathing becomes second nature as the way God intended. I don't need to punish myself for simply existing.