i love you il loeve you ill leove you i'll leave you

i wish i were as brave as dabe. if i planned ahead i would have asked him how i could cut my own throat. then he'd miss me soooo much he'd want me back! and then he'd love me until i messed everything up again!

i don't have a best friend anymore. it's so weird to say it. dabe hates me. there, that's better.

i shouldn't have asked jakke i  should have just been happy with what i had i don't know if this is worth it...........

i hate the phrase suck my dick suck a dick suck his dick. it's such a shitty thing to do why not pick a better word? fellatio comes from fellatus which is latin and is the past participle for the verb fellare which means to give head looks an awful lot like failure and auparishtaka means mouth congress pretty much because all of the important people are too busy getting their dick sucked to do their jobs!

one day he told me he was leaving and he never said why.

not fair not fair not fair not fair. not fair not fair not fair not fair not fair not fair not fair not fair. not fair not fair not fair not fair not fair not fair. not. fair.

sometimes i look and i see this boy lying next to my best friend and he won't let me come back. he won't let me be there for him and he won't even let me talk to him. all he does is fucking take up space and fail and fail and fail and fail and if i could i'd wring his fucking neck

i think it would be best if i were just to die in my sleep.

i would give anything to make him see all the great things i see when i see him.

sometimes it feels like a job i have to do, this building him up all the time. and then i realize that i can't afford to get tired, i can't afford to take a break from making sure he's okay because if i don't, who will? and what will happen to him then? and how could i ever live without him?

why did they record us, all the time, anyways?