whenever i order food i get nervous that the doorbell will annoy my roommates so i turn it off temporarily and tell the delivery person to just knock. but then i get nervous i might not hear the knocking so i go sit by the front door a few minutes early to make sure i hear it. but then i get nervous that if i open the door too quickly the delivery driver will think it's weird that i was waiting there so i wait an additional 10-15 seconds before opening it and feign that i just came down the stairs. i am built normal and socially average.

hey babe im gonna be home late tonight do you mind picking up dinner. yeah sorry the king has us working over time, some fuckin egghead sat on the wall and had a GREAT fall. we've got all the men working on this but idk if we're gonna be able to put him back together again. yeah we've tried the horses. ok bye love you.

hate when u agree with the sentiment of a post but not the condescending tone . Why dont we do a cool prank that's called being kind for no reason and speaking respectfully Even on the internet

opens the comments Closes the comments. turns into a dragonfly . I escape this town and live deliciously

this is an unpopular opinion around these parts lol but i'm so sad summer is ending

i love sun i love warmth i love blue skies i love long days i love beach

Reblog if you think the person you reblogged this from deserves to be happy.

god faking tasks

jesus literally has sus in his fuckin name

Jesus was voted off this earth for your sins

whats with this generation of fandom being so draconian with their shipping,,,they’re like “um theres no canon evidence of this ship so ….”  like . “ur ship will never be canon” i along with the majority of this platform was shipping jack frost and hiccup in 2012 and they werent even from the same movie, u cant hurt me 

this should go without saying, but this doesnt include adult x minor ships if u ship adults with kids fuck yourself . otherwise who cares

don’t you limp your wrist at me