saturday nights

You’d be surprised how many people still stick to old fashioned smokes. Even people around our age. 

Smoking of any sort is gross, but actual cigarettes are the worst. The smell? Fucking disgusting. Plus, who wants a goddamn nicotine addiction fresh out of high school?

Honestly, I’d consider it an advantage – I could be talking smack about somebody and they’d have no idea. The gimmick of alliteration is something I doubt I’ll be able to pull off. It’s creative, though. I like it. Are you not aware of the long-term consequences of consuming alcohol? They can lead to side effects that are irreversible. 

If you going to talk shit, you might as well make it understandable, Hunter. Are you not aware of the long-term consequences of having a stick lodged so firmly up your ass? C’mon, man, if you do shit in moderation you’ll be fine. Nobody wants to see you black out. 

Just for the record, Blue Ridge babies - I can tell you’re underage. I don’t even need to card you. Go get some chips and stay off the cigs.

If they’re dumb enough to try to buy cigarettes from someone that they probably saw in the hallways at school just last year, they deserve to be denied. I see Juuls more often than not, though, so I’m not sure who the fuck you’re selling actual cigarettes to. 

I’m not biased. I don’t see what reason I’d have to be. It’s just a band I enjoy. I’m realizing that there’s a possibility I might be into shitty garage bands and didn’t realize before now. Or maybe you’re right and they’ll end here sooner or later. It is strange thinking about them as anything but a local thing…

Maybe not, but I think I prefer having faith in us. It sounds less worrying than the alternative. We’ve had our portion of fuck ups. It’s about time for something better. In any case, I’m happy you’ll be there in the unlikely event that talent show is actually happening. Maybe a more traditional party is the way to go, but I suspect Hunter would hate it if I filled our place with drunk teenagers.

So, if you enjoy it then you’d be bias. Maybe not unfairly so, but still bias. I think they’re pretty shitty and I don’t see them getting big, but music is weird as fuck right now, so maybe they do have a chance. Nah, I mean, if they make it big that means they make it out of here, and I’d rather them make it out than be stuck.

I don’t know, maybe Second Exit needs that? Besides, they’re not that bad. Especially not for a town like this.

This town seriously lack faith in itself. Not that I would expect anything too out of this world, but it still might be fun. Isn’t the fuckups why anyone watches talent shows, anyway? Toby mentioned slam poetry, and that ain’t the worst thing that could happen… probably.

I mean, sure, they’re not bad if you’re into shitty garage bands. I have a feeling you might be a little bias, though, but I could be wrong.  Maybe they’ll make it big and I’ll end up eating my words.

Dregs are the group of people who are considered to be immoral and of no value. It’s my favorite word. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using difficult words – it’s an easy way to improve and expand my vocabulary. Unfortunately for you, I don’t drink. I have self-control.

Your favorite word is a word literally nobody else uses? Shocking. There’s nothing wrong with it except the fact that you constantly sound like you’re ready to drop Alphabet Aerobics pt. 2. Here’s a link if you don’t know what I’m talking about. You can have self-control in the amount that you drink. It’s really not that hard, man. But if you’re not down, then it’s whatever. I’m not gonna try to peer pressure you. Just know that if you ever need a booze buddy, I’m around. 

November feels and looks so empty compared to all that was going on just last month. Sure, maybe I have a slight personal bias towards October, but that’s besides the point. All I’m saying is that something definitely needs to happen. I’ve been thinking of contacting Nova’s or Coyote+ to see if they’d let us throw a talent show or perhaps just a concert, but I’d love to hear you guys’ thoughts on the matter.

I vote that we do neither of those things because it sounds like it’d be a Second Exit shitfest and nobody needs that. 

I’d like to see you try. Fine: dregs. No, seriously, what’s up with people wanting to get me drunk? Is the student body holding a bet I am not aware of?

What the fuck is a dregs, Hunter? If there’s a bet going on that I don’t know about, I’m gonna be pissed. You’re just so uptight, which is why I think you getting drunk would be the most exciting thing to happen to this place in years. Imagine it: Hunter Clarington acting like an actual human teenager, not some extraterrestrial robot with a huge ass vocabulary. Mohrsville might not be ready for such a huge shift in the universe.  

I try to keep that from happening. Perhaps. But, again, the thought of having to sit through that peculiarly miasmic atmosphere was far too revolting for me to handle. Was Mohrsville this congested? I doubt I’ll be having fun even under the influence of alcohol, honestly. Most of the people in this town are vermins.

I’m gonna catch you, though. Watch me. Listen, I know you’re super smart and shit, but we have to get you talking like a regular teenager. Who uses miasmic in an every day conversation? And vermin? I wholeheartedly agree that the people in this town are super fucking trash, but nobody under the age of 60 uses the word vermin. This is why I feel like you should let me get you drunk at least once. There’s no way you’re going to be able to articulate this well while you’re drunk. 

Today has been so great?? i think perhaps its the weather and the fact that i knew i’d be doing some baking for the nursing home once i got home.!Anyone want some cookies while i’m at it?Maybe a pie?

It’s definitely felt like a regular Wednesday. But you know what could make it better? Some bomb ass cookies. Can I ask a question, though? Why in the hell are you willing spending time around old people? 

I’d just like to say that as much as I am excited for the holidays- hearing all the Christmas songs just reminds me how many rehearsals for ballet I have coming up and how I’m already exhausted. So if anyone is open to getting coffee with me once a day basically everyday for the foreseeable future, let me know.

Caffeinated drinks have gotten me through more than a few all-nighters, but you know what’s better than coffee? Sleep. There’s no use training your ass off if you ass is gonna end up passing the fuck out during the performance. But I’m no ballet dancer, so maybe I’m wrong. 

I’m almost always right. She was alright, I’m going to be generous and say that she was a seven at most. I did, actually – Santana told me to loosen up and to stop being a buzzkill. I couldn’t stand the sight of sweaty teenagers writhing around, though, so I went home after a good ten minutes.

I really want to catch you when you’re wrong now. Santana had the right idea. You’re wound so tightly that I wouldn’t be surprised if you snapped at any second. You didn’t even have a drink? The whole point of a party is to, you know, have fun. You could probably use a little bit of that, Clarington.

All the people who are clearly just trying to rush in Christmas just need to stop. The art of trying to skip over Halloween like it’s nothing is dumb. Halloween is the best holiday for obvious reasons. Give me Jason and Michael over fucking Santa Claus any day.

It’s interesting that Halloween is all about pretending to be something you’re not. If I’m not mistaken, you’re all about that shit, right?