wasting nights

No seriously, like is a kiwi that little brown and green fruit, or is it something completely fucking different?

I've literally given up any hopes of getting a kiwi or talking to someone rational so thank you for that. Ever heard of Google? Wonderful little tool that could've saved you from looking like a complete idiot just there.

Geez, and that was plain ole’ English! Lost a few brain cells already then, killer? Don’t blame ya’, really—gettin’ a head start on the rock ‘n’ roll of it all, but for the sake of translation: Chinese gooseberry’s another name for your piss poor fruit request, and ‘m not nearly drunk enough to be carryin’ a bag of ‘em here and there and left and right without a little somethin’ to tide me over at the finish line. Can’t buy booze for myself in the States, bein’ underage and all that jazz.

I've literally lost my train of thought trying to keep up with you. This is mentally draining. 

If you say so, but I’m still not getting you a bag of kiwis; even if I’m craving a big piece of pizza right now— I’m too lazy to go to the store. I’m pretty sure one of your fan girls would be glad to get one for you, though.

Oh no doubt, and they'd gladly rip through my entire being whilst handing me the bag. Which would probably have a few tears in it too by then. I think I'll just get some myself, in that case. 

It was just an assumption, well and my own special way of saying you seem boring. I’m more of the type of girl who sits around complaining about fictional characters, and why life has made it so I can’t sleep with them. Over-privileged life? Guess I’m not the only one making assumptions, huh. It’s cute you think I’d complain about boys not liking the same pizza as me, you’re really shit at reading people though.

So sorry love, seems we can't all have your gifted ability at reading a person through their pizza preferences. 

My love and affection?

How am I supposed to eat your love and affection? I meant something edible, sorry 'bout that mate.

Have you stuck to missionary your whole life too? Ya seem like that kinda guy.

You've gathered all that from me not liking toppings on my pizza? Relating sex to pizza, you're one of those sad blogger type girls who sits around pouting about the various things gone wrong in her over-privileged life. Like boys who don't like the same types of pizza. Horrid. 

Care to share with your favorite drummer?

Depends....what's in it for me? 

I don’t think they’re in season quite yet, mate.

You're shitting me. I've been waiting for nothing then...ah fuck it looks like the rest of this pizza'll have to do then. 

Dude, kiwis are the shit. I don’t have any on me, though.

My favorite fruit, and finally someone who actually agrees with me. I was beginning to lose all hope. Hm, that's a shame. 

Don’t you think you’ll get sick of them if you eat an entire bag, though? You know what they say; less is more. 

Not at all. Who ever said that was kidding themselves, everyone knows more is actually more. That's just common sense. 

I can’t believe you would choose kiwi over pizza. Kiwis are like, the worst kind of fruit out there. I don’t have any bags of kiwi to offer you though, so why don’t you just give me the rest of the pizza and at least one of us will be satisfied?

I can't believe you just called Kiwis the worst kind of fruit there is. And you honestly think I'd give you my pizza after that? 

Are you serious? You’ve obviously never properly experienced what toppings have to offer.

I've experienced plenty of pizzas with shit toppings, I'll stick to my cheese seeing as it's been the one thing that hasn't let me down yet. 

What if there’s holes in the bag or some fall out? Then I would have to touch them. You do realize that, right?

You do realize it's a fruit, not a diseased animal, right? Christ. It's not even that hard to manage to keep the bag holeless. Unless you're some sort of grade A idiot. 

Can one even buy a bag of kiwis, or would I have to buy each kiwi individually? 

I'm pretty sure you can find a bag of them if you look hard enough. 

Why kiwi?

Eh, dunno. Sorta been craving them all day. 

A bag of kiwis? Should I even bother asking why?

Because I like them, why else?