Tumblr is why I drink

So I was thinking just about stuff today, and it entered my mind, one of my good friends from highschool is, let me see if I can remember, pan, pre-op trans, and I think some third thing too. I am pretty generically straight no quirks, oddities, or anything of the sort that would be not-straight. (For clarification we are both male)  

But then I realized, he, or I suppose she rather, is very in-line with classic gender roles for male, large beard, rouged, the whole deal. Where as I have hair down to my shoulders, that is dyed green, act rather whimsical and some might say “fruity”. And for some reason this confused and infuriated me, just because of how impossibly counter-intuitive this scenario is, concidering at Bronycon I was the one cosplaying a female character and just last night I dyed this friends hair purple for the first time.   

Since we are the kind of friends that make less sense the close we get, I out of extreme boredom sent my friend this series of messages. Which I re-read later and gave me a giggle. 

Ok you snot-nosed inbreeds  I've been seeing this other-kin spread like wildfire...  Calm down ya'll. Now let me be clear, those of you who say your are a XX-Kin of some normal animal we can observe in nature today, while I'm skeptical, I'm not going to hate because if you suppose that all life has a soul of some sort, then it is feasible that however souls are matched to bodies could have an error in which some dog, lion, horse, whatever got put in a human body. 

But you spoopy motherfuckers who say your shit like dragon-kin and other mythological creatures, here's the problem, there cannot be souls for things that do not exist, therefore your soul cannot be one of those, end of fucking story. Just as I cannot say that a damn flower is a piranha plant (from mario) at heart, because piranha plants don't fucking exist. 

Because dragons and such are products of mythology, mythology being a man-made explanation for things we at the time could not explain, seeing as we humans tend to need/want explanation for events to achieve peace with the world. Therefore, seeing as dragons are a man made construct of imagination, if you had never heard of dragons or whatever fake-ass animal kin you think you are, you would have never been able to think you were that thing. 

Now if you still think your a dragon-kin, go eat some fucking shiny rocks and lets see how long till your damn digestive system gives out, burst, or otherwise malfunctions in a possibly fatal manner.