raise your glasses

You were at least a 70′s child, when i wasn’t even a twinkle in my parents eyes! Let’s not forget the certain struggles which actually came along with calling one another then too though. Ease dropping was way too easy to even mention being down for such thing, or anything other then very subtle flirting that had you twirling the phone cord around your fingers… Aw, well put on that blazer and bright socks and i’ll tick the box for you since you missed out, oldie.

For a moment there I thought I did put down Bible Runner 2049 and was going to question myself as well. But let’s go with the tequila you’ve been drinking, alcohol tends to make people read things wrong. Hideaway is a legit safe haven. There was elves?! Now I feel like I missed one hell of a party.

I seriously stared for far too long. I’d probably have checked out Bible Runner just to see what it was about, but I was going to question how exactly you landed that gig. I’ll blame the tequila, though. It’s usually the underlying problem in a lot of things. Elves; you missed it. I’m sure they’ll hit us with something awesome, soon enough.

Who would’ve thought it was all just cause people were boozing during the day? I think when you’ve lived long enough, you deserve a drink whether it’s from your walking stick or not…but even so, you could’ve used one of’em to stay up from rolling around on the floor, or maybe even those carrier walkers!  What if you were chugging it in the movie theatre? Least if someone did catch you, all they could really do is stare in complete confusing as the movie plays…

Oh the fuzziest! Maybe a onsie too. They have everything I hear, so I might head to this spa. But, I’ve only sort of figured out where I live, I’m going to have trouble not getting lost haha. It’s a pleasure, Eric! Greys puts me through emotions by the way, so thanks for that. Yeah, I only do heroin when I run out of meth, yknow, the usual. Sorry I’m so bad, horrible ideas, don’t do it.

I haven’t exactly jumped into the onesie phase yet, but I’ve heard they’re pretty damn comfortable - so, I’m glad you’re relaxing it up. It’s pretty easy not to get lost, as long as you remember what floor you live on. I’m glad to hear you were thrown through a loop because while it may have hurt, I was doing a good job! Meth just sounds like a bad idea. There’s face digging and all of that weird stuff.

God this is mad ‘init? Never thought I’d find myself on an island full of just celebs, blimey! ‘Ello everybody, I’m sure no one knows who I am so I’ll just go ahead and introduce myself. I’m Danny and I have to pinch myself every five minutes because I can’t believe I’m here. 

Honestly, I felt the same way when I moved in here. There are some pretty legend people, walking the halls, and then there was me sitting on the beach with a beer in hand. Have you gotten around to exploring any yet?

There is?! I am going straight to Google, I must see this. The Queen has, I don’t even know how many Corgies. Yes, I am sure they’ll come up with something.

So I feel like I’ve been non-stop these past few weeks. No one told me this was going to be painful on my feet. The amount of heels I’ve worn in the past 48 hours is not even funny. Went from the Golden Globe Awards, to France, and now I’m here. All in like four days. Coffee is my best friend! I’d say my heroine but they confiscated that in customs. I joke! I’m Emma and I don’t do drugs! I just have weird humor.

I hope you’re trotting around in some fuzzy slippers, now that you’ve gotten all of that taken care of. I can’t imagine heels on heels. I recommend a much needed pedicure/massage down at te spa, now that you’re here, though. And it’s nice to meet you, Emma! I’m Eric, heroin is one hell of a drug, but hey - you’re in paradise now!

I swear, I’ll never be able to stay away from this place. Thanks to promo for La La Land, endless award shows, and also finishing up filming for Blade Runner 2049 I had to leave the island. Now that I’m back though, someone catch me up on what I’ve missed! Or we can talk about how crazy fast the holidays went by and that we’re now in 2017. We’re literally three years away from 2020 — let that sink in, guys. 

I’m not too sure if it’s the tequila I’ve been drinking, or the fact that I hadn’t been paying attention, but I read that as ‘Bible Runner 2049′ and immediately had questions. But yeah, I’ve only been here for a few months now, and I completely understand. Hidaway’s just pretty damn awesome. I’m not sure what you missed, but there was an ugly Christmas sweater party tha consisted of laser tag against elves. I was here for it. 

As much as i’d do anything to live out the Saturday night fever days of the 70′s disco scene more so, the 90′s really were something else. Plus a lot less worry about encountering any assholes via a dating app, and a lot more worry about whether whoever you sent a note to ticks the “i like you” box . AND BECAUSE; i said i’d wear a gladiator outfit, not that you’d see me in it. Not unless you recreate the video… and if you need any inspiration, here. I’ll even accept you choosing to dress up as any of these guys and you can just come over and improv for me. 

I wouldn’t even complain about going out with one if that were the case, and now i’m just gonna assume there’s booze within anyone’s walker i end up seeing now. I’ll cut them from my life and hit them with it; the only way. I’d like to think you’d know from experience, cause it’s why i mentioned movie theatre. You get away with all kinds of shit there if you’re smart enough…&  Who knows, it could give it a boost with the sweetness. Or forget the lotion and just go hardcore with the cleaning supply bottles.

I would love it if it was like that. Can you imagine The Queen being all laid back, kick her feet up and watch some TV. If a princess out there is always covered in cat hair, then I relate so bad. I never really looked at it that way.

I’ve never really gotten many nicknames in my time (unless you count shortening ‘Kathryn’ to ‘Kate’), but I think the best one I have ever gotten was from my dear friend Leslie Jones. This was more of an accidental nickname, but me and this amazing woman have worked together for about three years. Now, in case you didn’t know my name is Kate McKinnon. I know that, but after a year of knowing me Leslie came up to me and said, “you alright Kate Middleton?”. After correcting her and letting her know what my actual name was she then said, “McKinnon. Then who is Kate Middleton?”, I simply replied, “a princess, bitch.”. I didn’t particularly minded having the same name as a princess in that time. Though I probably act nothing like a princess…at all.

I won’t lie, if i ever need a walking stick later in life that’ll be my go to. I’m sure there’ll be many doctors telling me no, along with people….but who the hell needs to know there’s tequila in there? I’d bring along a straw if i were at an event or the movies. That’s more the reason you should drink from a lotion bottle, Eric. Unless you’re the type to just completely gag at the thought, even though i’m pretty sure there wouldn’t have ever been actual lotion in these bottles..

As someone who continuously talks about bringing the occasional flask to certain award shows, it’s the likes of the golden globes where the shit ton they give you at the table is why i don’t even have to take one along tomorrow night. Yet the amount of times I’ve spoken openly on the red carpet, or “Joked” about those secret wine bras, i was actually sent a few…with a letter that just said good luck; but the part that sparked my interest the most was a list that came in the package. It had a variety of “hidden flask” items you could choose from. It went from hairbrush, walking stick,ect. to my personal favorite, lotion / sunscreen .And i wouldn’t even be subtle about it. I’d take that lotion out and just chug the whole thing like it were nothing, and this is actually why i shouldn’t be allowed these things.

I may have been a child but i wasn’t able to appreciate such a scene in it’s prime golden days, which is just tragic. And it died out by the late 90′s anyway, so do you blame me for wanting that excessive style back! Why doesn’t that surprise me? least you labeled yourself ass… Where did i say this was my dating video? I just wanted them back. And i only agreed to wearing a gladiator outfit, not what i was planning on doing with it. 

I may be pushing my luck a little with wanting  the exact same fashion and hairstyle choices in’em too, but c’mon, there’s nothing like it now! And i happen to enjoy the occasional bad pick-up line actually, only if it ends up being so terrible it’s funny, but i’d rather take a ton of those over random dick pics, which many would agree. It’s me you’re talking to, i’d probably walk around in one without a reason. But, whether you see me in one or not? That’ll depend on if you’re willing to recreate an 80s dating video for me..