Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
SUMMARY: After disappearing into the city while chasing rumors of a cursed object, you are finally found by the one person who always seems capable of finding you: Satoru Gojo. Later, beside a river, the argument you've been having for months finally reaches its conclusion.
The world should have protected him; instead, he has been asked to protect it. What an honor. What an injustice.
PAIRING: Satoru Gojo x f!reader
WORD COUNT: 7.3K
WARNINGS: canon-typical things, Shoko smoking, drinking, cursing, gun/pistol, some violence, near-death experiences, inaccurate CPR, injuries (and what comes with it, like blood, bruises, etc.), cursed users, ANGST, touch-starved Gojo, sappy Gojo, maybe ooc Gojo, underlying feelings, a lot of talk about Gojo being the strongest, etc.
A/N: I went a little crazy with this one and put my heart and soul into making this flow and referenced so many things and was inspired by so much (if you'd like to know more, I'm more in-depth on AO3). Enjoy.
COMMENTS ENCOURAGED.
prologue
The lot crouched beneath the city's boundaries.
Tainted water dripped from the cracked ceiling. The concrete smelled of rust, mildew, and old violence. It was the sort of place where things were buried and left for memory to rot around them.
Men. Cursed Objects. Secrets.
"Fuck—!"
The scream shredded the static as your finger dipped into the bullet wound.
It wasn't a human sound, not really. Whatever dignity language offered had been stripped from it. The cry clawed its way out from somewhere primal, ripped from the deepest part of the body like the cry of a wounded animal cornered in its den. The sound bounced between concrete pillars before eventually dissolving into the dark.
You tilted your head, pressing your thumb deeper.
The Cursed User folded around the pain, blood bubbling between his teeth as his hands clawed uselessly at your wrist.
The wound looked ugly on him as you watched with detached interest. There was something almost disappointing about it; men who built themselves around power always became smaller once they started bleeding.
Blood soaked through his shirt in sticky, dark patches, dripping steadily onto the pavement between his knees. Drip. Drip. Drip. His clock was counting down.
The blood streaked across the side of his jacket as you wiped your fingers clean while your pistol remained loose in your other hand.
You checked the chamber. One round remained. A metallic click echoed softly, causing the Cursed User to laugh through the blood.
"A sorcerer with a gun." His smile exposed red-stained teeth. "How pathetic. All that power and you choose something a monkey could use."
You glanced up. "Is it?"
His expression soured, your answer too easy for the situation and his state.
"I'm sure you can handle a few more holes." You crouched in front of him again
The barrel settled gently against his forehead, almost affectionate.
"Now..." Your voice lowered. "Who did you sell it to?"
"You've been chasing me for days, all for some old relic?" He breathed through disbelief. Blood rolled down his jaw. "You pretend you're different from people like me…"
You rolled your shoulders, bone and tendon popping softly beneath your jacket.
"...but you're digging through the same filth."
Around you, the garage bore the scars of your conversation. Acid had eaten through concrete pillars where his technique had misfired. Melted stone pooled across the floor in hardened scars. Rebar twisted from the wounds in the structure like exposed ribs.
The fight had been violent, thorough, and now final.
“Names.” Your thumb drew back the hammer. Click.
"You know what your problem is?" Despite the metal warming against his skin, he continued. "You don't enjoy this."
"No?"
"No." His body shook, shock coming sooner than expected. "That's what makes you worse."
That earned a faint chuckle from you; the speech before death was always unimportant. Always the same chattering in hopes it struck a chord hard enough to be understood for the faults that would be left behind.
"People like me are honest." He coughed, red splattering across the pavement. "We enjoy the power. The fear. The violence…”
His eyes, just barely able, lifted to yours.
"...you act like all of this is just a means to an end, you don't think you're cruel, but that’s your deception.” His breathing had become uneven, every word causing more damage than it was worth.
“Let’s not get off topic.” You shook your head at the censure. "You’ve sold something that wasn't yours—”
“—to someone willing to pay good money for it."
Good money hadn’t meant clean money.
“Yet, I’m deceptive?” You humored.
"You're still pretending this is about ownership."
For the first time since you'd found him, he'd managed to hit something. Not a nerve, but a small, loose thread. The cursed user saw it immediately. And like every dying man, he pulled.
"You're not looking for an object." He sneered, weak but victorious. "You're looking for whoever bought it, right?" The pistol pressed harder against his forehead. "Did they take something from you?"
"Careful."
"What was it? Huh?" He mocked softly. "Money? Reputation? A friend?"
Understanding flashed across his face—nothing complete but enough to make his eyes widen—and suddenly he looked at you differently. Not as a hunter. Not as a sorcerer. Not even as an enemy; you were someone chasing a ghost.
Before the trigger could be pulled, the air changed.
The Cursed User felt it before you did, eyes widening. He began scrambling backward, heels slipping through his own blood.
Whatever color was left drained from his face. Any fear aimed toward you vanished instantly, replaced by something much deeper. By something instinctive. Primal. He wasn't looking at the gun anymore. He was staring past your shoulder.
Beyond you.
The hammer eased forward beneath your thumb, moment ruined; you knew Satoru Gojo stood several feet away with his hands buried in his pockets like he'd been there the entire time.
Gojo’s gaze traveled across the ruined garage. He traced the blood, the acid remnants, the pistol at your side. Finally, it settled on you. Then he smiled, bright enough to be dangerous.
“...are you trying to seduce me?” His tone was warm and amused, entirely too pleased with himself.
People mistook seduction for desire.
They imagined it lived in mouths and hands and lingering glances. That was only an appetite dressed in prettier clothes.
No—seduction lived in uncertainty. The door was left slightly open. In the footprint that appeared where it shouldn't. In the question that refused to become an answer.
However, very few things remained capable of surprising Gojo. Fewer still could make him curious. You had learned long ago that curiosity was far more dangerous than attraction.
“Gojo.” You sighed his name, pushing to stand and face him properly.
The Cursed User looked between the two of you. Confused. Terrified. Losing consciousness. You ignored him, the very same Gojo did.
“I thought you were busy.”
He should still have been overseas. Something enormous had dragged him across an ocean days ago. Apparently, it hadn't been large enough.
"Why? You miss me?" He took another step into the lot.
The shadows seemed reluctant to touch him; the light gathered around him strangely, caught in his hair, his clothes, the edge of his smile, reflected in his dark glasses. It wasn’t enough to be distracting, but it was enough to make the darkness you crafted look temporary.
“Go.” You spat mercy at the Cursed User, picking him up by the collar to shove him away.
Gojo’s eyes flashed above the rim of his glasses, widening with interest at the demand. The Cursed User would be lucky to survive by the time he found help, and yet you still released him from the inevitable grip of death.
He watched the man stagger into the darkness, blood marking every step. Most people wouldn't survive the walk, but the Cursed User looked over his shoulder once. Then disappeared.
“Geto mentioned you’ve been gone for a few days…” Gojo stalked toward you. “I’m surprised you were able to get him to cover for you. Does he know what you’re up to?”
“He’s smart enough to connect the dots.” You spoke firmly, unsure whether to resist the truth or flee entirely from the actuality. “If you can, anyone can.”
“Funny.” He smirked. “I’m not just good looks, you know…”
A scoff escaped you as the cylinder of your pistol swung open.
The final bullet slid free, brass clicking softly against concrete. The sound echoed, small and ordinary. It was the sort of noise that belonged to a world neither of you actually lived in.
So, you tossed the empty pistol aside. It skidded through a streak of blood and disappeared into shadow.
“So?” Your voice remained even. “What now?”
Gojo could have already reported you for your movements. He could raise his hand and say the one thing that would guarantee your destruction. He could applaud you for getting this far with how few residuals you left for only someone as capable as him to trail.
Seduction, he called it. Wasn’t that what this was? Regardless, you knew better than to predict Gojo; tornadoes and Gods suffered from the same problem.
"Well," he started, dark glasses caught the fractured light. "I followed your trail across half the city." Another step closer. "Seems wrong to leave before I find out where it ends."
“That Yaga’s idea or yours?”
The fluorescent light overhead gave another exhausted buzz as you studied Gojo. He was entirely too difficult to get rid of; he was sent to collect you and wouldn’t stray from the fact.
“He was going to send Mei Mei.” Gojo was tickled by your wit. “But I told him to save his money—I’m doing you the favor, really.”
At first, your actions surprised Yaga. Eventually, his dissatisfactions learned your face.
In hindsight, you were glad it wasn't Mei Mei. She would've found you, but that wasn't the concerning part.
Mei Mei approached problems the same way she approached investments: efficiently, profitably, and without unnecessary sentiment. If Yaga had sent her after you, she would've already decided what your retrieval was worth.
Worse, she would've collected.
Gojo, however, was the consequence Yaga sent when he wanted to make a point.
The threat of his presence wasn't spoken aloud; it didn't need to be. It lived comfortably in the space beside you. In fact, no matter how far you wandered into the city. No matter how carefully you covered your tracks, the strongest sorcerer alive would eventually come strolling after you as though the outcome had never been in doubt.
A useful deterrent, an irritating companion; Gojo seemed to enjoy being both.
“You’re really fishing for a ‘thank you’ right now?” You raised a brow, walking to his side. You had gotten plenty of information, no longer needing to resist returning to campus.
“All I’m saying is you should appreciate the sacrifices I make for you.” He emphasized his suffering sarcastically.
A scoff escaped you, the sound seemingly enough to satisfy him as you left the lot.
The city swallowed you almost immediately once you stepped outside. The night had settled fully while you were underground. The neon signs were painted on the wet sidewalks in fractured colors while distant traffic hummed through Tokyo.
Behind you, you could feel Gojo's lazy posture in each unhurried step.
You didn't bother checking if he was following. Gojo didn't bother pretending he wasn't.
It took a few escapes from Jujustu High to accept it had become a ritual; Yaga would send someone to retrieve you, Gojo would volunteer, you’d pretend to resist, and he’d pretend he wasn’t enabling your so-called freedom.
Then, somewhere between wherever you had disappeared to and the school waiting on the other side of the city, the two of you would take the long way home.
You thought maybe it was mercy before punishment or maybe the other way around, but you never decided. Instead, it became a habit; you’d all but close your eyes, spin, and point at the nearest izakaya. Once you pushed through those curtains, the world narrowed enough to leave the rest of it outside.
Inside smelled like grilled fish, beer, and old wood. By the time you settled into a booth near the back, a cold glass had already found its way into your hand.
Condensation clung to your fingers.
Without hesitation, you lifted it and drank. The beer was bitter enough to sting and old enough to ache briefly against your teeth. Perfect.
You swallowed once. Twice. Half the glass disappeared before you lowered it again.
The warmth arrived almost immediately afterward, spreading slowly through your chest, loosening things you hadn't realized were tight. For the first time all evening, the ringing at the edge of the breeze faded.
The city became quieter. The chase became quieter. Even the ghost of the conversation left behind in the lot seemed less interested in following you.
Across the table, Gojo watched you openly, like he'd only just noticed something missing.
His gaze drifted from the half-empty glass to the faint bruise blooming beneath your jaw to the looseness in your shoulders, taking his time to return back to your face.
Curiosity had always come naturally to him. Most things became boring after he understood them. People especially. You remained irritatingly resistant to that process.
Then he laughed. Softly.
“You know,” he mused, leaning back against the booth. “I don't think I've ever seen you this happy.”
You lived in sin well.
“Cheap beer does that.” You commented, eyes tracing the place to motion for another.
“I don't think that's it.”
“No?”
Gojo shook his head. “My presence has this effect on people.”
The server dropped off another beer. Gojo watched you wrap your hand around it almost immediately, his smiling sticking.
“What does Utahime have to say about that?” The alcohol had worn down some of your usual resistance. Enough that smiling no longer felt like admitting defeat.
“Plenty.” Gojo huffed.
He leaned forward slightly, forearms settling against the table. The booth wasn't particularly small, but somehow he still managed to fill it. Long limbs. Broad shoulders. Too much height for furniture designed for ordinary people.
From where you sat, most of the room disappeared behind him.
The salarymen were arguing near the door. The couple sharing skewers by the window. Even the television was mounted behind the counter. All of it was reduced to fragments around the outline of his frame.
A wall encasing you, built entirely by accident.
“...you know,” he continued casually, “she'll be happy to see you.”
You paused.
“She shouldn’t idolize me.”
“That's what you got from that?” Gojo asked wryly.
You took a drink. “It's what you meant.”
“I meant she'll be happy to see you.”
“No.” The beer settled warm in your stomach. You rolled the glass lazily between your palms. “You meant she's worried.”
For a moment, Gojo simply watched you again.
His attention lingered longer than necessary at the bruise along your jaw, the split skin near your knuckles, the exhaustion sitting beneath your eyes. Not injuries that should have existed. Not on someone like you.
Most sorcerers got hurt because they weren't strong enough. You got hurt because somewhere along the way, you'd decided strength wasn't a good enough reason to avoid pain. That was the irritating thing.
Eventually, Gojo rested his chin in his palm.
Then he shrugged. “A little.”
You sighed through your nose. Utahime worried about everyone. It was one of the many reasons she would eventually become a better teacher—person than either of you.
“She'll survive.”
“And you?” Behind his glasses, his attention flicked back toward your jaw. “You’re getting sloppy.”
“Pity doesn’t suit you.” You narrowed your eyes.
A corner of his mouth twitched. “Good thing that's not what this is.”
Outside, soft rain began tapping softly against the window. Inside, conversations drifted together into a comfortable blur of voices and clinking glasses. The city felt far away. It always did in places like this. For a few hours, the world became small enough to ignore.
Then Gojo ruined it.
“Yaga's annoyed, you know.”
There it was.
It was never a confrontation or even a real transition. Gojo approached uncomfortable subjects the way cats approached closed doors. Equally casual and curious, pretending they hadn't been interested the entire time.
“That's his natural state.” You snorted
“...your disappearing doesn’t help.”
“Yeah, but you make sure I come back, right?”
The words slipped out before you could stop them. Something flashed briefly across his face. Heady satisfaction.
“That's true.”
“Don’t say it like it's an accomplishment.”
“It is.”
You clicked your tongue, your second beer disappearing only to be replaced by another.
The bastard enjoyed this. He wasn’t particularly fond of the drinking or the lectures from Yaga afterwards. It was the finding. You had realized that months ago; finding you had become a game.
You’d disappear. Gojo would appear.
Neither of you ever acknowledged the rules. Yet, somewhere between the Six Eyes and his stubbornness, Gojo always appeared eventually. And, if you were being honest, there were easier ways to avoid being found. You just never used them.
Because that was the beauty of it, wasn't it? You always came back. Gojo had gotten so used to that fact that he eventually stopped considering the alternative.
“Why?”
You laughed once, soft and cynical. “That's your question?”
“It's a pretty good one.”
“No, it isn't.”
“Then it should be easy to answer.”
“You know why.” You leaned back in the booth. The alcohol made the ceiling lights blur pleasantly around the edges.
“Humor me…”
You studied him for a moment. Studied the infuriating patience he could summon whenever something genuinely interested him.
“I have a lead.”
“On the cursed object.”
“A hunch.” You nodded.
“You've been missing for a week for a hunch?”
You disregarded how disappearing turned into missing.
“It's a very compelling hunch.”
The cursed object was a little bigger than an actual story. It was an old silver necklace belonging to a clan so ancient that even its name had begun to rot away.
The surviving accounts disagreed on almost everything except one detail. It gave: power, talent, insight, fortune, strength; the specifics changed depending on who was telling the story.
Yet, the results never had; people wanted it.
Most sorcerers heard stories like that and rolled their eyes. You heard them and paid attention because history was full of people who confused impossibility with rarity.
And if something truly existed that could give a person more, you couldn't imagine a reason not to reach for it.
“You could have told me.” Gojo’s smirk returned, the same smirk that had followed you to drag you back toward responsibilities neither of you particularly respected. “I’m good company.”
For a moment, despite yourself, you laughed. The sound was brief, roughened by exhaustion and beer, but it was enough.
Gojo soared internally because this was the other thing he liked about finding you. It was this, this strange stretch of borrowed time that existed between wherever you'd been and wherever you were supposed to be.
A soldier's minute.
The world beyond the izakaya continued without interruption. The rain gathered against the windows, the neon signs bled their colors across wet pavement, and somewhere outside, trains carried people home to lives neither of you would ever belong to.
Tomorrow remained exactly where it had always been. The endless machinery of a world that demanded pieces of people until there was nothing left worth demanding. Waiting. Looming.
Yet for an hour or two, the obsession with structure let you both exist freely.
In that bubble, the city narrowed. The noise receded. And you stopped running long enough to sit across from Gojo.
The tension never left you completely. Gojo doubted it ever would. But within this minute, it loosened. The line of your shoulders softened. The constant calculation behind your eyes dulled around the edges. Even the bruises seemed less severe beneath the amber glow hanging over the booth.
You looked younger when you forgot to guard yourself and indulged in his company without restraint.
Most people wanted things from him; even affection rarely arrived untouched. People loved him for who he was. As some form of strength or validation. He couldn't resent them for it because the role fit too comfortably; he had spent most of his life stepping into rooms and watching the air change for him.
You never did; you looked at him the way you looked at bartenders, cursed spirits, professors, and criminals. As though he occupied the same world as everyone else.
It should have bothered him beyond something superficial he put on to tease you.
Instead, he found himself lingering; he took the longer route back to campus, followed half-finished conversations into the middle of the night, sat through bad beer he wasn't drinking, and stories that never seemed interested in concluding.
He never examined the habit too closely because some things became smaller when you forced them into language. But there were moments, small enough to disappear if he looked at them too directly, when he almost felt normal.
There, he wasn’t the balance point upon which the entire jujutsu world precariously rested. He was humanly Satoru.
The difference was impossible to explain. Deep down, he suspected it was because every version of that feeling led back to you. If he ever held it up to the light and looked at it honestly, he would find your reflection waiting there.
—
Resuscitation wasn’t pretty. It was violence in service of survival.
Gojo hadn’t felt fear like this before. Sweat prickled at his lower back, crawling up his spine to the back of his neck. His breathing was short from a panicked exertion he wasn’t used to.
This went beyond sorcery; this was disgustingly human.
It was a test of his strength to hold back. Satoru Gojo never held back; he unleashed, he toyed with his own perception of what power could look like. Yet this—this was different, this he didn’t like.
This scared him.
Your ribs cracked. Gojo could practically feel the way they fragmented into your lungs. He could taste the blood on your lips when he pinched your nose. His breath expanded your body, but you never took over.
The threat of violence wasn’t enough for him to hold back. Instead, it encouraged him; it felt natural to exude what he was gifted, as he could finally stretch his legs properly.
This felt wrong.
Your eyelids were hooded, your gaze distant and far from the present. Your breath was so shallow, Gojo wasn’t sure if he actually felt it or if it was desperation manifested.
“Hey…Hey!” He cursed under his breath, pride and whim gone. “Come on…”
The realization hit with the same sickening certainty as stepping off a step that wasn't there.
When he arrived, for a single impossible second, the world simply refused to make sense. Then his gaze found the figure standing behind you. And recognition arrived; the cursed user from the lot all those weeks ago, the one you had spared.
Go, you’d said.
Gojo remembered the look on your face. He remembered thinking it was strange that someone capable of such calculated cruelty still insisted on offering mercy.
Mercy had never belonged to Gojo. It felt trivial; everything became stripped of purpose because he moved without panic or rage. His mind had gone horrifyingly blank the second he recognized your form on the ground.
Now, before him, blood coated his palms, tacky and going cold quickly.
Gojo barely registered the damage he did. There wasn’t cockiness to the display of power or strategy in how he retaliated against the Cursed User.
Everything touched by Hollow Purple ceased to exist so completely that it felt less like destruction and more like erasure itself. Things vanished in a catastrophic roar, carved away instantly, a man evaporating before he could even scream.
That somehow wasn’t enough.
It hurt to detach himself from you, his hands shaking as he drew a ritual circle around you in your own blood. It only stopped when he interlocked his hands to warp you both.
Teleporting back to Jujutsu High felt like rubbing one's eye too hard; vision blacked out into iridescent speckles that lingered in kaleidoscope-like patterns. Arriving felt like waking up, but when Gojo carried you to the infirmary, it was like dreaming.
Things were fragmented as someone tore you from his arms. Gojo half-remembered resisting, half-remembered relinquishing, the boundaries between everything dissolved into a surreal reality.
Gojo tried hard to remember each step he took, to pay attention to the details of your revival, but all he could do was leave. Each step added to the burden that already threatened to consume him.
He pushed it down as best he could, but there was nothing left to distract him. He thought stepping outside would help, but Gojo’s figure bent forward hard near the closest bushes lining the walkway.
He braced himself against the stone path with one hand while the other couldn’t figure out what to do. He threw up, spitting weakly once everything was out into the grass before dragging a hand down his face.
“Fuck.”
“This is new,” Shoko mumbled, cigarette bobbing as she spoke. “Thought you were above feelings.”
Gojo wiped his mouth, ignoring her.
“She’s fine, by the way…” She continued, entirely too unbothered by everything happening. “Well, will be. You got her here in time.”
Sweat collected at the nape of his neck from the adrenaline crash. Shoko watched him quietly for a moment through the curl of cigarette smoke.
“God, you look terrible.”
“Thanks.” His voice was hoarse.
“You know what your problem is?”
“....I’m sure you’ll tell me.” He was half listening. His gaze was fixed on the ground, trying hard to regain his composure.
“You’re all over the place, Gojo.” She tapped ash into the wet grass. “You must know by now that your enlightenment doesn’t extend to those you touch.”
Gojo looked at his hands like he hadn’t noticed how his cursed energy output vibrated differently. Space flickered subtly around his fingers, Infinity distorting weakly before smoothing itself out again.
He learned to use it effortlessly to the point of overconfidence. Now unstable for the first time in months since mastering it.
“Hm.” Gojo laughed once under his breath, humorless. “Look at that.”
Somewhere in the trees beyond campus, cicadas buzzed loud enough to fill the silence neither of Gojo nor Shoko seemed interested in breaking.
Shoko watched him quietly through the drifting cigarette smoke. It was unsettling, mostly because Gojo was never like this. Annoying? Constantly. Arrogant? Pathologically. Never shaken.
Satoru Gojo moved through life as someone the world had failed to punish properly. As the strongest sorcerer alive, he became untouchable by default. He joked through missions because there was never a point where things became serious enough to require fear.
Even his cruelty tended to be more apathetic than malicious; weakness simply failed to hold his attention for long. Now he sat outside the infirmary looking like his own body had turned unfamiliar to him.
Shoko hummed softly like she didn’t particularly care either way, which, honestly, she mostly didn’t.
People projected onto Gojo often. Usually fear, always resentment. Sometimes it was worship and other times dependence. Regardless, emotionally, he was smart enough to stay at arm’s length from almost everyone. It kept him easygoing because nothing reached him deeply enough to disrupt the balance.
Apparently, that had changed.
“You should go inside,” Shoko said eventually. “Talk to her.”
Gojo laughed once quietly under his breath. “No.”
Shoko’s cigarette paused halfway to her mouth. “No?”
He looked down at his hands. Your blood still sat stubbornly beneath his fingernails despite washing them repeatedly. For a long moment, he didn’t answer.
“She looked at me like she trusted me.” Gojo’s jaw tightened faintly. “And then she died anyway.”
For the first time since Shoko had walked outside, Gojo sounded genuinely lost. She expected anger or defensiveness, but she understood now that Gojo was just unable to process what he’d seen.
Shoko studied him for another second.
“Oh,” she realized flatly. “You care.”
Gojo stayed quiet, which was enough. Somewhere farther down campus, a barrier shifted with a low hum before settling again, a reminder that life continued, moved on.
“How inconvenient.” She joked.
—
You felt like an ugly hare trying to convince everyone around you that you, too, were a soft, sensible rabbit.
Not because you were cruel. Not because you particularly enjoyed violence, but because somewhere along the way, you had realized other people possessed an instinct you fundamentally lacked; a natural hesitation or limit, a quiet internal hand that reached out and stopped them before they crossed certain lines.
You had spent years pretending you possessed one.
It made people more comfortable. So you learned how to perform restraint.
You learned how to smile at the appropriate moments. How to soften your tone. How to tilt your head like someone thoughtfully considering morality instead of someone calculating outcomes.
You became good at it.
Because performance eventually calcified into habit, and habit became difficult to distinguish from truth. The problem was that rabbits eventually noticed when something moved like a predator; you were caught.
“You shouldn’t be up yet.”
Gojo hadn’t startled you, but his voice still carried weight in the quiet. It moved through the darkness behind you, low and measured, disturbing the night no more than the river before you did.
“Please, Satoru…” A faint smile touched your mouth despite your back still being turned toward him. “...you didn’t let me get very far.”
Even unconscious, you had felt him lingering near the school’s infirmary in fragments; the pressure of his cursed energy brushing constantly against your well-being.
When you could lift your head independently, that intrusion continued, checking and prodding that you were, in fact, still possessed by life. Yet now, after so much inactivity, sneaking out of the infirmary was an embarrassingly easy idea.
Shoko either underestimated your ability to ignore medical advice or intentionally left the doors unlocked out of morbid curiosity; everyone was affected by the way Gojo’s guilt sullied the atmosphere.
The night air hit your skin cool and damp the second your feet touched the grass outside. Your ribs still ached beneath the bandages wrapped tightly around your torso, every deeper breath pulling faintly at things left half-healed.
It hadn’t mattered because the dewy campus alone did what medicine couldn’t.
Paper lanterns reflected dimly along the stone pathway you took, the wind shifting softly through the trees lingering in the grounds, carrying the distant sound of water somewhere farther down.
For the first time in days, the world felt larger than the infirmary walls and the antiseptic smell that clung to your robes. So, you wandered without direction at first, mostly because movement itself felt relieving.
Eventually, you found yourself kneeling at a riverbank, damp earth soaking slowly through the fabric at your knees while dark water rushed endlessly past beside you.
The river looked ancient beneath the moonlight; indifferent in the way only old things could be, as though your suffering was too temporary to warrant acknowledgment.
Behind you, Gojo exhaled softly through his nose. Displeased. You had begun noticing that his anger rarely arrived loudly. Most people mistook volatility for danger, but Gojo became quieter the more deeply something affected him.
“Join me.” You glanced over your shoulder, your eyes meeting his bare ones. He’d forgone his glasses, looking through you openly.
You dipped your fingertips into the current absently, watching moonlight fracture apart around your skin.
Gojo still hadn’t moved closer.
Usually, he invaded space thoughtlessly, like proximity meant nothing to him because nothing in the world could truly reach him anyway. Now he lingered several feet behind you instead.
“C’mon…” You held out your hand for him, a gesture loose but inviting.
Gojo wasn’t one for affection, let alone with you; the one person at Jujutsu High who never seemed entirely fixed in shape.
You occupied space the way reflections occupied mirrors: faithfully enough to be recognizable, falsely enough to distort whatever leaned too close. Around teachers, you became attentive and restrained.
Around classmates, something easier to digest; amused, aloof, and human in all the expected ways. Around curses and cursed users, however, the performance loosened at the seams.
There, people recognized you immediately.
Not because they understood you, but because predators always recognize the absence of fear in one another. Yet, fear rolled right off of you. Fear was like a pet to you: something you picked up to get a better look at but that you soon grew tired of.
No one knew where you came from before joining the Jujustu world. Every answer you offered arrived polished, complete enough to discourage further questions while somehow revealing nothing at all.
Over time, it became difficult to tell whether you were secretive or if there simply was no singular version of you waiting underneath to be uncovered.
However, all you truly did was reflect people back at themselves so perfectly that they mistook recognition for intimacy.
The Higher Ups interpreted this adaptability as arrogance. They believed you to be evasive because they still subscribed to the delusion that every person possessed a stable truth somewhere beneath performance.
They wanted motives clean enough to dissect, loyalties visible enough to weaponize. Yet, you had never deceived anyone. Instead, you existed somewhere beyond a cautionary tale.
You hadn’t lived peerless in a world of your own; you simply understood that identity functioned best as ritual; it was all a careful arrangement of signs where every softened smile, every calculated silence, every measured expression existed less to conceal meaning than to interrupt the obsessive human need to locate one.
You were not hiding behind the mirror’s reflection; you were guarding it. And Gojo, cursed with seeing too much, was the only person who realized the reflection had been looking back at him the entire time.
“...Satoru.” You beckoned him gently.
The sound of his name seemed to resolve him.
His hand found yours, your warmth grounding in a way he hated noticing. He was careful not to move too suddenly, afraid your instincts to run would find their footing again.
So, Gojo lowered himself beside you carefully, dark fabric gathering dirt at the knees without complaint.
There was something strangely cathartic about seeing him like this; not smiling like catastrophe was entertaining and not hidden behind expensive sunglasses or practiced irreverence—just Satoru beside you at the riverbank with damp earth beneath his hands and exhaustion sitting visibly in the lines of his body.
“I just needed air…” You leaned forward slowly, dipping your hands beneath the water.
The cold shocked pleasantly against your skin. You drank first, river water slipping metallic and clean across your tongue before you splashed more against your face.
The movement pulled slightly at your ribs. Gojo noticed the hidden grimace.
“...worrying isn’t worth it.” You dragged wet fingers back to the nape of your neck before glancing sideways toward him.
“That’s kind of impossible now.”
The response came too quickly, and Gojo seemed to realize it too late. His jaw tightened faintly afterward, gaze dropping toward the river as he could somehow pull the words back out of the air.
Usually, he recovered from something like this effortlessly. He would turn everything into a joke before anyone could examine it too closely, but tonight the performance kept slipping at the edges, no matter how hard he tried to hold it together.
“Seriously, Satoru, you can breathe.” You frowned slightly, confused by the resistance.
His eyes lifted toward yours immediately. For a second, he said nothing because, for some reason, your directness seemed to affect him more than if you'd tried to be kind.
Then a quiet laugh escaped him, thin around the edges. “Am I that obvious?”
“I mean, something's clearly wrong with you.” Knocking his shoulder softly with your own, you tried to lighten the tension. “I understand that you’re upset—
“That’s the thing—” Gojo’s gaze stayed fixed somewhere ahead, unfocused. “—I’m not upset. I know what upset feels like…” A frown touched his mouth briefly. “This was different.”
The river rushed louder in the silence afterward.
For a while, neither of you spoke again. Water rushed over stone in low rhythmic sounds while moonlight drifted in fractured pieces across the current. Beside you, Gojo sat with his elbows resting loosely over his knees, gaze fixed somewhere ahead but never quite settling there.
However, you know he was still watching you, still checking. You could feel it in the way his attention snagged every time you shifted too quickly or breathed too sharply.
Your gaze dropped toward his hands resting in the dirt beside him.
Blood had long since been washed away, but you remembered them anyway, shaking against your chest, smeared red to the wrists while he tried to force life back into your body through sheer refusal alone.
Carefully, you reached for them.
“Don’t be a prude, Satoru…” You teased lightly as you felt him still.
His eyes lifted toward your face as your fingers closed loosely around his wrists. You felt the moment instinct nearly made him pull back—not from you, but from being handled so gently.
Without waiting for permission, you guided his hands forward into the river beside yours, cold water rushing instantly over both your skin.
“Shit.” Gojo inhaled quietly through his nose at the temperature. “That’s freezing.”
A faint smile lifted at your mouth.
You kept hold of his hands beneath the current anyway, thumbs brushing absently against his wrists while moonlight warped silver around both your reflections.
Your grip loosened slightly around his wrists before sliding downward, guiding his hands deeper beneath the water.
Then Gojo shifted suddenly beside you.
Before you could react, his fingers turned within your grasp, sliding carefully against yours until he was the one holding your hands now.
Your breath caught faintly.
Not from fear. Something far worse.
Gojo guided your joined hands upward from the river slowly, cold water streaming between your wrists and down his sleeves. Then, he dragged your wet fingers across his face, the same way you had moments earlier.
Water clung briefly to his skin, catching beneath the moonlight before disappearing into the pale strands of his hair when he pushed it back loosely.
The gesture should have felt playful. Instead, it was strangely intimate. Grounding.
Gojo exhaled softly afterward, eyes falling shut for half a second like the cold finally interrupted whatever relentless noise had been building inside him these past weeks.
The moment stretched quietly between you both afterward.
River water dripped slowly from your joined hands, slipping cold over skin already numb from the current. Gojo still hadn’t let go completely, fingers loose now around yours like he’d forgotten he was holding them in the first place.
You watched him for a second beneath the moonlight. Then, gently, carefully, you untangled your hands from his.
Gojo’s fingers twitched faintly at the loss of contact. A soft breeze moved through the trees overhead, stirring damp strands of white hair across his forehead where the water still clung.
Without really thinking about it, you lifted your hand again. Your fingers slid lightly into his hair.
You brushed the wet strands back from his face slowly, your nails barely grazing his scalp in the process. The motion exposed more of him to the moonlight: pale lashes, sharp cheekbones, the subtle tension sitting constantly around his eyes like exhaustion had settled there permanently.
You felt him inhale sharply, almost startled.
“Shoko said you haven’t been sleeping lately,” you murmured.
No response.
Your fingers continued absentmindedly through his hair, combing damp strands away from his forehead. Gojo’s gaze remained fixed entirely on you now, unfocused in a way that made something warm and dangerous curl low beneath your ribs.
“She said you’ve been taking extra missions too.” Your thumb brushed lightly near his temple. “Overworking yourself usually means one of two things with sorcerers—” Still nothing, not even a joke. “—Satoru.”
His throat moved once visibly.
You tilted your head slightly, watching with amusement.
“Are you even listening to me?”
Gojo stared at you for another long second before he shook his head. Honest enough that a quiet laugh escaped you before you could stop it.
The sound seemed to snap something loose in him slightly. Color had begun to creep faintly across the bridge of his nose and the tops of his cheeks, subtle beneath the moonlight but unmistakably there.
Gojo watched your expression shift as though he’d never seen it before. Maybe he hadn’t. Most people only ever saw curated versions of you; sharpened edges hidden beneath performance, every gesture calculated enough to keep genuine vulnerability at a safe distance.
“You know,” you said, amusement threading softly beneath the words, “you’re a lot easier to read without the glasses.”
Gojo groaned softly beneath his breath.
“Don’t worry, I’m not judging you.” Another soft laugh left you, warmer this time despite your sarcasm.
“No?” His gaze sharpened faintly despite the blush still lingering there. “Then what are you doing?”
“I think,” you offered softly, “I’m thanking you.”
You brushed damp strands away from his forehead again, carefully, smoothing them back into something almost neat. It changed his face slightly; softer around the edges, less untouchable.
"You still care about that thing?" His voice sounded rougher now.
There it was. You had been waiting for it: the retreat and sudden pivot toward safer ground. It would've been easier if he had stayed embarrassed. It would be easier if he'd made another joke. Instead, he reached for the one subject guaranteed to put distance back between you, the thing that kept pulling you away from him.
"Of course."
Something in his expression darkened. Because of course you did. Because almost dying hadn't changed anything. The same way being found never stopped you from running.
"Figures."
The word settled between you with surprising gentleness, simply resigned. As though some stubborn part of him had spent weeks hoping the answer might be different despite knowing exactly what it would be. So, the river carried the silence away before either of you could fill it. The water continued to move steadily around half-submerged stones, moonlight breaking apart across the current and reforming farther downstream.
You sat shoulder-to-shoulder along the embankment, close enough that the damp fabric of his sleeve occasionally brushed your own whenever either of you shifted. Eventually, Gojo bent one knee, resting an arm lazily across it.
"You know," he said, gaze fixed on the dark water ahead, "for someone who almost died, you're being really stubborn about this."
"I survived."
"Unfortunately."
You laughed quietly; the sound seemed to please him despite himself. Then, with a sigh that suggested Gojo was burdened by the incompetence of everything, one hand disappeared into his pocket. You barely paid attention until he reached for your hand.
Something cool and metallic settled into the center of your hand.
Your breath caught because the weight registered first. Then the shape, ancient silver links pooled against your palm like spilled moonlight, with a pendant resting among them, worn smooth by centuries of handling.
"...Satoru."
"Yeah?" He hummed.
Your fingers tightened around the necklace, the metal feeling heavier than it should have. Heavier than months of rumors. Heavier than dead ends. Heavier than the blood spilled searching for it.
"You found it?"
For the first time since you'd met him, he seemed to consider lying.
The thought crossed his face. Then another. You watched him discard each explanation before it reached his mouth. None of them survived inspection.
"I bought it." His shoulders lifted in a small shrug.
"...Why?"
This time, the silence lingered.
For a moment, you thought he wouldn't answer. Then his thumb brushed once over the worn silver chain still caught beneath your fingers, grounding you both in the present.
"...Because every time I found you," he said quietly, "there was another lead."
The river moved endlessly beside you. His gaze never left the water.
"...Another rumor." A faint breath of laughter escaped him, brittle around the edges. "...Another idiot who supposedly knew where it was."
Then, for the first time since he'd started speaking, he turned toward you.
Moonlight caught in the pale blue of his eyes, and for once, there was nowhere for him to hide. You could see the exhaustion beneath the easy smile, buried under years of pretending things weighed less than they did. You understood what he wasn't saying; if you kept chasing it, one day he would follow another lead and arrive too late.
"There." Gojo's hand remained over yours, warm against the chill of the night. "Now you have it."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
SUMMARY: After disappearing into the city while chasing rumors of a cursed object, you are finally found by the one person who always seems capable of finding you: Satoru Gojo. Later, beside a river, the argument you've been having for months finally reaches its conclusion.
The world should have protected him; instead, he has been asked to protect it. What an honor. What an injustice.
PAIRING: Satoru Gojo x f!reader
WORD COUNT: 7.3K
WARNINGS: canon-typical things, Shoko smoking, drinking, cursing, gun/pistol, some violence, near-death experiences, inaccurate CPR, injuries (and what comes with it, like blood, bruises, etc.), cursed users, ANGST, touch-starved Gojo, sappy Gojo, maybe ooc Gojo, underlying feelings, a lot of talk about Gojo being the strongest, etc.
A/N: I went a little crazy with this one and put my heart and soul into making this flow and referenced so many things and was inspired by so much (if you'd like to know more, I'm more in-depth on AO3). Enjoy.
COMMENTS ENCOURAGED.
prologue
The lot crouched beneath the city's boundaries.
Tainted water dripped from the cracked ceiling. The concrete smelled of rust, mildew, and old violence. It was the sort of place where things were buried and left for memory to rot around them.
Men. Cursed Objects. Secrets.
"Fuck—!"
The scream shredded the static as your finger dipped into the bullet wound.
It wasn't a human sound, not really. Whatever dignity language offered had been stripped from it. The cry clawed its way out from somewhere primal, ripped from the deepest part of the body like the cry of a wounded animal cornered in its den. The sound bounced between concrete pillars before eventually dissolving into the dark.
You tilted your head, pressing your thumb deeper.
The Cursed User folded around the pain, blood bubbling between his teeth as his hands clawed uselessly at your wrist.
The wound looked ugly on him as you watched with detached interest. There was something almost disappointing about it; men who built themselves around power always became smaller once they started bleeding.
Blood soaked through his shirt in sticky, dark patches, dripping steadily onto the pavement between his knees. Drip. Drip. Drip. His clock was counting down.
The blood streaked across the side of his jacket as you wiped your fingers clean while your pistol remained loose in your other hand.
You checked the chamber. One round remained. A metallic click echoed softly, causing the Cursed User to laugh through the blood.
"A sorcerer with a gun." His smile exposed red-stained teeth. "How pathetic. All that power and you choose something a monkey could use."
You glanced up. "Is it?"
His expression soured, your answer too easy for the situation and his state.
"I'm sure you can handle a few more holes." You crouched in front of him again
The barrel settled gently against his forehead, almost affectionate.
"Now..." Your voice lowered. "Who did you sell it to?"
"You've been chasing me for days, all for some old relic?" He breathed through disbelief. Blood rolled down his jaw. "You pretend you're different from people like me…"
You rolled your shoulders, bone and tendon popping softly beneath your jacket.
"...but you're digging through the same filth."
Around you, the garage bore the scars of your conversation. Acid had eaten through concrete pillars where his technique had misfired. Melted stone pooled across the floor in hardened scars. Rebar twisted from the wounds in the structure like exposed ribs.
The fight had been violent, thorough, and now final.
“Names.” Your thumb drew back the hammer. Click.
"You know what your problem is?" Despite the metal warming against his skin, he continued. "You don't enjoy this."
"No?"
"No." His body shook, shock coming sooner than expected. "That's what makes you worse."
That earned a faint chuckle from you; the speech before death was always unimportant. Always the same chattering in hopes it struck a chord hard enough to be understood for the faults that would be left behind.
"People like me are honest." He coughed, red splattering across the pavement. "We enjoy the power. The fear. The violence…”
His eyes, just barely able, lifted to yours.
"...you act like all of this is just a means to an end, you don't think you're cruel, but that’s your deception.” His breathing had become uneven, every word causing more damage than it was worth.
“Let’s not get off topic.” You shook your head at the censure. "You’ve sold something that wasn't yours—”
“—to someone willing to pay good money for it."
Good money hadn’t meant clean money.
“Yet, I’m deceptive?” You humored.
"You're still pretending this is about ownership."
For the first time since you'd found him, he'd managed to hit something. Not a nerve, but a small, loose thread. The cursed user saw it immediately. And like every dying man, he pulled.
"You're not looking for an object." He sneered, weak but victorious. "You're looking for whoever bought it, right?" The pistol pressed harder against his forehead. "Did they take something from you?"
"Careful."
"What was it? Huh?" He mocked softly. "Money? Reputation? A friend?"
Understanding flashed across his face—nothing complete but enough to make his eyes widen—and suddenly he looked at you differently. Not as a hunter. Not as a sorcerer. Not even as an enemy; you were someone chasing a ghost.
Before the trigger could be pulled, the air changed.
The Cursed User felt it before you did, eyes widening. He began scrambling backward, heels slipping through his own blood.
Whatever color was left drained from his face. Any fear aimed toward you vanished instantly, replaced by something much deeper. By something instinctive. Primal. He wasn't looking at the gun anymore. He was staring past your shoulder.
Beyond you.
The hammer eased forward beneath your thumb, moment ruined; you knew Satoru Gojo stood several feet away with his hands buried in his pockets like he'd been there the entire time.
Gojo’s gaze traveled across the ruined garage. He traced the blood, the acid remnants, the pistol at your side. Finally, it settled on you. Then he smiled, bright enough to be dangerous.
“...are you trying to seduce me?” His tone was warm and amused, entirely too pleased with himself.
People mistook seduction for desire.
They imagined it lived in mouths and hands and lingering glances. That was only an appetite dressed in prettier clothes.
No—seduction lived in uncertainty. The door was left slightly open. In the footprint that appeared where it shouldn't. In the question that refused to become an answer.
However, very few things remained capable of surprising Gojo. Fewer still could make him curious. You had learned long ago that curiosity was far more dangerous than attraction.
“Gojo.” You sighed his name, pushing to stand and face him properly.
The Cursed User looked between the two of you. Confused. Terrified. Losing consciousness. You ignored him, the very same Gojo did.
“I thought you were busy.”
He should still have been overseas. Something enormous had dragged him across an ocean days ago. Apparently, it hadn't been large enough.
"Why? You miss me?" He took another step into the lot.
The shadows seemed reluctant to touch him; the light gathered around him strangely, caught in his hair, his clothes, the edge of his smile, reflected in his dark glasses. It wasn’t enough to be distracting, but it was enough to make the darkness you crafted look temporary.
“Go.” You spat mercy at the Cursed User, picking him up by the collar to shove him away.
Gojo’s eyes flashed above the rim of his glasses, widening with interest at the demand. The Cursed User would be lucky to survive by the time he found help, and yet you still released him from the inevitable grip of death.
He watched the man stagger into the darkness, blood marking every step. Most people wouldn't survive the walk, but the Cursed User looked over his shoulder once. Then disappeared.
“Geto mentioned you’ve been gone for a few days…” Gojo stalked toward you. “I’m surprised you were able to get him to cover for you. Does he know what you’re up to?”
“He’s smart enough to connect the dots.” You spoke firmly, unsure whether to resist the truth or flee entirely from the actuality. “If you can, anyone can.”
“Funny.” He smirked. “I’m not just good looks, you know…”
A scoff escaped you as the cylinder of your pistol swung open.
The final bullet slid free, brass clicking softly against concrete. The sound echoed, small and ordinary. It was the sort of noise that belonged to a world neither of you actually lived in.
So, you tossed the empty pistol aside. It skidded through a streak of blood and disappeared into shadow.
“So?” Your voice remained even. “What now?”
Gojo could have already reported you for your movements. He could raise his hand and say the one thing that would guarantee your destruction. He could applaud you for getting this far with how few residuals you left for only someone as capable as him to trail.
Seduction, he called it. Wasn’t that what this was? Regardless, you knew better than to predict Gojo; tornadoes and Gods suffered from the same problem.
"Well," he started, dark glasses caught the fractured light. "I followed your trail across half the city." Another step closer. "Seems wrong to leave before I find out where it ends."
“That Yaga’s idea or yours?”
The fluorescent light overhead gave another exhausted buzz as you studied Gojo. He was entirely too difficult to get rid of; he was sent to collect you and wouldn’t stray from the fact.
“He was going to send Mei Mei.” Gojo was tickled by your wit. “But I told him to save his money—I’m doing you the favor, really.”
At first, your actions surprised Yaga. Eventually, his dissatisfactions learned your face.
In hindsight, you were glad it wasn't Mei Mei. She would've found you, but that wasn't the concerning part.
Mei Mei approached problems the same way she approached investments: efficiently, profitably, and without unnecessary sentiment. If Yaga had sent her after you, she would've already decided what your retrieval was worth.
Worse, she would've collected.
Gojo, however, was the consequence Yaga sent when he wanted to make a point.
The threat of his presence wasn't spoken aloud; it didn't need to be. It lived comfortably in the space beside you. In fact, no matter how far you wandered into the city. No matter how carefully you covered your tracks, the strongest sorcerer alive would eventually come strolling after you as though the outcome had never been in doubt.
A useful deterrent, an irritating companion; Gojo seemed to enjoy being both.
“You’re really fishing for a ‘thank you’ right now?” You raised a brow, walking to his side. You had gotten plenty of information, no longer needing to resist returning to campus.
“All I’m saying is you should appreciate the sacrifices I make for you.” He emphasized his suffering sarcastically.
A scoff escaped you, the sound seemingly enough to satisfy him as you left the lot.
The city swallowed you almost immediately once you stepped outside. The night had settled fully while you were underground. The neon signs were painted on the wet sidewalks in fractured colors while distant traffic hummed through Tokyo.
Behind you, you could feel Gojo's lazy posture in each unhurried step.
You didn't bother checking if he was following. Gojo didn't bother pretending he wasn't.
It took a few escapes from Jujustu High to accept it had become a ritual; Yaga would send someone to retrieve you, Gojo would volunteer, you’d pretend to resist, and he’d pretend he wasn’t enabling your so-called freedom.
Then, somewhere between wherever you had disappeared to and the school waiting on the other side of the city, the two of you would take the long way home.
You thought maybe it was mercy before punishment or maybe the other way around, but you never decided. Instead, it became a habit; you’d all but close your eyes, spin, and point at the nearest izakaya. Once you pushed through those curtains, the world narrowed enough to leave the rest of it outside.
Inside smelled like grilled fish, beer, and old wood. By the time you settled into a booth near the back, a cold glass had already found its way into your hand.
Condensation clung to your fingers.
Without hesitation, you lifted it and drank. The beer was bitter enough to sting and old enough to ache briefly against your teeth. Perfect.
You swallowed once. Twice. Half the glass disappeared before you lowered it again.
The warmth arrived almost immediately afterward, spreading slowly through your chest, loosening things you hadn't realized were tight. For the first time all evening, the ringing at the edge of the breeze faded.
The city became quieter. The chase became quieter. Even the ghost of the conversation left behind in the lot seemed less interested in following you.
Across the table, Gojo watched you openly, like he'd only just noticed something missing.
His gaze drifted from the half-empty glass to the faint bruise blooming beneath your jaw to the looseness in your shoulders, taking his time to return back to your face.
Curiosity had always come naturally to him. Most things became boring after he understood them. People especially. You remained irritatingly resistant to that process.
Then he laughed. Softly.
“You know,” he mused, leaning back against the booth. “I don't think I've ever seen you this happy.”
You lived in sin well.
“Cheap beer does that.” You commented, eyes tracing the place to motion for another.
“I don't think that's it.”
“No?”
Gojo shook his head. “My presence has this effect on people.”
The server dropped off another beer. Gojo watched you wrap your hand around it almost immediately, his smiling sticking.
“What does Utahime have to say about that?” The alcohol had worn down some of your usual resistance. Enough that smiling no longer felt like admitting defeat.
“Plenty.” Gojo huffed.
He leaned forward slightly, forearms settling against the table. The booth wasn't particularly small, but somehow he still managed to fill it. Long limbs. Broad shoulders. Too much height for furniture designed for ordinary people.
From where you sat, most of the room disappeared behind him.
The salarymen were arguing near the door. The couple sharing skewers by the window. Even the television was mounted behind the counter. All of it was reduced to fragments around the outline of his frame.
A wall encasing you, built entirely by accident.
“...you know,” he continued casually, “she'll be happy to see you.”
You paused.
“She shouldn’t idolize me.”
“That's what you got from that?” Gojo asked wryly.
You took a drink. “It's what you meant.”
“I meant she'll be happy to see you.”
“No.” The beer settled warm in your stomach. You rolled the glass lazily between your palms. “You meant she's worried.”
For a moment, Gojo simply watched you again.
His attention lingered longer than necessary at the bruise along your jaw, the split skin near your knuckles, the exhaustion sitting beneath your eyes. Not injuries that should have existed. Not on someone like you.
Most sorcerers got hurt because they weren't strong enough. You got hurt because somewhere along the way, you'd decided strength wasn't a good enough reason to avoid pain. That was the irritating thing.
Eventually, Gojo rested his chin in his palm.
Then he shrugged. “A little.”
You sighed through your nose. Utahime worried about everyone. It was one of the many reasons she would eventually become a better teacher—person than either of you.
“She'll survive.”
“And you?” Behind his glasses, his attention flicked back toward your jaw. “You’re getting sloppy.”
“Pity doesn’t suit you.” You narrowed your eyes.
A corner of his mouth twitched. “Good thing that's not what this is.”
Outside, soft rain began tapping softly against the window. Inside, conversations drifted together into a comfortable blur of voices and clinking glasses. The city felt far away. It always did in places like this. For a few hours, the world became small enough to ignore.
Then Gojo ruined it.
“Yaga's annoyed, you know.”
There it was.
It was never a confrontation or even a real transition. Gojo approached uncomfortable subjects the way cats approached closed doors. Equally casual and curious, pretending they hadn't been interested the entire time.
“That's his natural state.” You snorted
“...your disappearing doesn’t help.”
“Yeah, but you make sure I come back, right?”
The words slipped out before you could stop them. Something flashed briefly across his face. Heady satisfaction.
“That's true.”
“Don’t say it like it's an accomplishment.”
“It is.”
You clicked your tongue, your second beer disappearing only to be replaced by another.
The bastard enjoyed this. He wasn’t particularly fond of the drinking or the lectures from Yaga afterwards. It was the finding. You had realized that months ago; finding you had become a game.
You’d disappear. Gojo would appear.
Neither of you ever acknowledged the rules. Yet, somewhere between the Six Eyes and his stubbornness, Gojo always appeared eventually. And, if you were being honest, there were easier ways to avoid being found. You just never used them.
Because that was the beauty of it, wasn't it? You always came back. Gojo had gotten so used to that fact that he eventually stopped considering the alternative.
“Why?”
You laughed once, soft and cynical. “That's your question?”
“It's a pretty good one.”
“No, it isn't.”
“Then it should be easy to answer.”
“You know why.” You leaned back in the booth. The alcohol made the ceiling lights blur pleasantly around the edges.
“Humor me…”
You studied him for a moment. Studied the infuriating patience he could summon whenever something genuinely interested him.
“I have a lead.”
“On the cursed object.”
“A hunch.” You nodded.
“You've been missing for a week for a hunch?”
You disregarded how disappearing turned into missing.
“It's a very compelling hunch.”
The cursed object was a little bigger than an actual story. It was an old silver necklace belonging to a clan so ancient that even its name had begun to rot away.
The surviving accounts disagreed on almost everything except one detail. It gave: power, talent, insight, fortune, strength; the specifics changed depending on who was telling the story.
Yet, the results never had; people wanted it.
Most sorcerers heard stories like that and rolled their eyes. You heard them and paid attention because history was full of people who confused impossibility with rarity.
And if something truly existed that could give a person more, you couldn't imagine a reason not to reach for it.
“You could have told me.” Gojo’s smirk returned, the same smirk that had followed you to drag you back toward responsibilities neither of you particularly respected. “I’m good company.”
For a moment, despite yourself, you laughed. The sound was brief, roughened by exhaustion and beer, but it was enough.
Gojo soared internally because this was the other thing he liked about finding you. It was this, this strange stretch of borrowed time that existed between wherever you'd been and wherever you were supposed to be.
A soldier's minute.
The world beyond the izakaya continued without interruption. The rain gathered against the windows, the neon signs bled their colors across wet pavement, and somewhere outside, trains carried people home to lives neither of you would ever belong to.
Tomorrow remained exactly where it had always been. The endless machinery of a world that demanded pieces of people until there was nothing left worth demanding. Waiting. Looming.
Yet for an hour or two, the obsession with structure let you both exist freely.
In that bubble, the city narrowed. The noise receded. And you stopped running long enough to sit across from Gojo.
The tension never left you completely. Gojo doubted it ever would. But within this minute, it loosened. The line of your shoulders softened. The constant calculation behind your eyes dulled around the edges. Even the bruises seemed less severe beneath the amber glow hanging over the booth.
You looked younger when you forgot to guard yourself and indulged in his company without restraint.
Most people wanted things from him; even affection rarely arrived untouched. People loved him for who he was. As some form of strength or validation. He couldn't resent them for it because the role fit too comfortably; he had spent most of his life stepping into rooms and watching the air change for him.
You never did; you looked at him the way you looked at bartenders, cursed spirits, professors, and criminals. As though he occupied the same world as everyone else.
It should have bothered him beyond something superficial he put on to tease you.
Instead, he found himself lingering; he took the longer route back to campus, followed half-finished conversations into the middle of the night, sat through bad beer he wasn't drinking, and stories that never seemed interested in concluding.
He never examined the habit too closely because some things became smaller when you forced them into language. But there were moments, small enough to disappear if he looked at them too directly, when he almost felt normal.
There, he wasn’t the balance point upon which the entire jujutsu world precariously rested. He was humanly Satoru.
The difference was impossible to explain. Deep down, he suspected it was because every version of that feeling led back to you. If he ever held it up to the light and looked at it honestly, he would find your reflection waiting there.
—
Resuscitation wasn’t pretty. It was violence in service of survival.
Gojo hadn’t felt fear like this before. Sweat prickled at his lower back, crawling up his spine to the back of his neck. His breathing was short from a panicked exertion he wasn’t used to.
This went beyond sorcery; this was disgustingly human.
It was a test of his strength to hold back. Satoru Gojo never held back; he unleashed, he toyed with his own perception of what power could look like. Yet this—this was different, this he didn’t like.
This scared him.
Your ribs cracked. Gojo could practically feel the way they fragmented into your lungs. He could taste the blood on your lips when he pinched your nose. His breath expanded your body, but you never took over.
The threat of violence wasn’t enough for him to hold back. Instead, it encouraged him; it felt natural to exude what he was gifted, as he could finally stretch his legs properly.
This felt wrong.
Your eyelids were hooded, your gaze distant and far from the present. Your breath was so shallow, Gojo wasn’t sure if he actually felt it or if it was desperation manifested.
“Hey…Hey!” He cursed under his breath, pride and whim gone. “Come on…”
The realization hit with the same sickening certainty as stepping off a step that wasn't there.
When he arrived, for a single impossible second, the world simply refused to make sense. Then his gaze found the figure standing behind you. And recognition arrived; the cursed user from the lot all those weeks ago, the one you had spared.
Go, you’d said.
Gojo remembered the look on your face. He remembered thinking it was strange that someone capable of such calculated cruelty still insisted on offering mercy.
Mercy had never belonged to Gojo. It felt trivial; everything became stripped of purpose because he moved without panic or rage. His mind had gone horrifyingly blank the second he recognized your form on the ground.
Now, before him, blood coated his palms, tacky and going cold quickly.
Gojo barely registered the damage he did. There wasn’t cockiness to the display of power or strategy in how he retaliated against the Cursed User.
Everything touched by Hollow Purple ceased to exist so completely that it felt less like destruction and more like erasure itself. Things vanished in a catastrophic roar, carved away instantly, a man evaporating before he could even scream.
That somehow wasn’t enough.
It hurt to detach himself from you, his hands shaking as he drew a ritual circle around you in your own blood. It only stopped when he interlocked his hands to warp you both.
Teleporting back to Jujutsu High felt like rubbing one's eye too hard; vision blacked out into iridescent speckles that lingered in kaleidoscope-like patterns. Arriving felt like waking up, but when Gojo carried you to the infirmary, it was like dreaming.
Things were fragmented as someone tore you from his arms. Gojo half-remembered resisting, half-remembered relinquishing, the boundaries between everything dissolved into a surreal reality.
Gojo tried hard to remember each step he took, to pay attention to the details of your revival, but all he could do was leave. Each step added to the burden that already threatened to consume him.
He pushed it down as best he could, but there was nothing left to distract him. He thought stepping outside would help, but Gojo’s figure bent forward hard near the closest bushes lining the walkway.
He braced himself against the stone path with one hand while the other couldn’t figure out what to do. He threw up, spitting weakly once everything was out into the grass before dragging a hand down his face.
“Fuck.”
“This is new,” Shoko mumbled, cigarette bobbing as she spoke. “Thought you were above feelings.”
Gojo wiped his mouth, ignoring her.
“She’s fine, by the way…” She continued, entirely too unbothered by everything happening. “Well, will be. You got her here in time.”
Sweat collected at the nape of his neck from the adrenaline crash. Shoko watched him quietly for a moment through the curl of cigarette smoke.
“God, you look terrible.”
“Thanks.” His voice was hoarse.
“You know what your problem is?”
“....I’m sure you’ll tell me.” He was half listening. His gaze was fixed on the ground, trying hard to regain his composure.
“You’re all over the place, Gojo.” She tapped ash into the wet grass. “You must know by now that your enlightenment doesn’t extend to those you touch.”
Gojo looked at his hands like he hadn’t noticed how his cursed energy output vibrated differently. Space flickered subtly around his fingers, Infinity distorting weakly before smoothing itself out again.
He learned to use it effortlessly to the point of overconfidence. Now unstable for the first time in months since mastering it.
“Hm.” Gojo laughed once under his breath, humorless. “Look at that.”
Somewhere in the trees beyond campus, cicadas buzzed loud enough to fill the silence neither of Gojo nor Shoko seemed interested in breaking.
Shoko watched him quietly through the drifting cigarette smoke. It was unsettling, mostly because Gojo was never like this. Annoying? Constantly. Arrogant? Pathologically. Never shaken.
Satoru Gojo moved through life as someone the world had failed to punish properly. As the strongest sorcerer alive, he became untouchable by default. He joked through missions because there was never a point where things became serious enough to require fear.
Even his cruelty tended to be more apathetic than malicious; weakness simply failed to hold his attention for long. Now he sat outside the infirmary looking like his own body had turned unfamiliar to him.
Shoko hummed softly like she didn’t particularly care either way, which, honestly, she mostly didn’t.
People projected onto Gojo often. Usually fear, always resentment. Sometimes it was worship and other times dependence. Regardless, emotionally, he was smart enough to stay at arm’s length from almost everyone. It kept him easygoing because nothing reached him deeply enough to disrupt the balance.
Apparently, that had changed.
“You should go inside,” Shoko said eventually. “Talk to her.”
Gojo laughed once quietly under his breath. “No.”
Shoko’s cigarette paused halfway to her mouth. “No?”
He looked down at his hands. Your blood still sat stubbornly beneath his fingernails despite washing them repeatedly. For a long moment, he didn’t answer.
“She looked at me like she trusted me.” Gojo’s jaw tightened faintly. “And then she died anyway.”
For the first time since Shoko had walked outside, Gojo sounded genuinely lost. She expected anger or defensiveness, but she understood now that Gojo was just unable to process what he’d seen.
Shoko studied him for another second.
“Oh,” she realized flatly. “You care.”
Gojo stayed quiet, which was enough. Somewhere farther down campus, a barrier shifted with a low hum before settling again, a reminder that life continued, moved on.
“How inconvenient.” She joked.
—
You felt like an ugly hare trying to convince everyone around you that you, too, were a soft, sensible rabbit.
Not because you were cruel. Not because you particularly enjoyed violence, but because somewhere along the way, you had realized other people possessed an instinct you fundamentally lacked; a natural hesitation or limit, a quiet internal hand that reached out and stopped them before they crossed certain lines.
You had spent years pretending you possessed one.
It made people more comfortable. So you learned how to perform restraint.
You learned how to smile at the appropriate moments. How to soften your tone. How to tilt your head like someone thoughtfully considering morality instead of someone calculating outcomes.
You became good at it.
Because performance eventually calcified into habit, and habit became difficult to distinguish from truth. The problem was that rabbits eventually noticed when something moved like a predator; you were caught.
“You shouldn’t be up yet.”
Gojo hadn’t startled you, but his voice still carried weight in the quiet. It moved through the darkness behind you, low and measured, disturbing the night no more than the river before you did.
“Please, Satoru…” A faint smile touched your mouth despite your back still being turned toward him. “...you didn’t let me get very far.”
Even unconscious, you had felt him lingering near the school’s infirmary in fragments; the pressure of his cursed energy brushing constantly against your well-being.
When you could lift your head independently, that intrusion continued, checking and prodding that you were, in fact, still possessed by life. Yet now, after so much inactivity, sneaking out of the infirmary was an embarrassingly easy idea.
Shoko either underestimated your ability to ignore medical advice or intentionally left the doors unlocked out of morbid curiosity; everyone was affected by the way Gojo’s guilt sullied the atmosphere.
The night air hit your skin cool and damp the second your feet touched the grass outside. Your ribs still ached beneath the bandages wrapped tightly around your torso, every deeper breath pulling faintly at things left half-healed.
It hadn’t mattered because the dewy campus alone did what medicine couldn’t.
Paper lanterns reflected dimly along the stone pathway you took, the wind shifting softly through the trees lingering in the grounds, carrying the distant sound of water somewhere farther down.
For the first time in days, the world felt larger than the infirmary walls and the antiseptic smell that clung to your robes. So, you wandered without direction at first, mostly because movement itself felt relieving.
Eventually, you found yourself kneeling at a riverbank, damp earth soaking slowly through the fabric at your knees while dark water rushed endlessly past beside you.
The river looked ancient beneath the moonlight; indifferent in the way only old things could be, as though your suffering was too temporary to warrant acknowledgment.
Behind you, Gojo exhaled softly through his nose. Displeased. You had begun noticing that his anger rarely arrived loudly. Most people mistook volatility for danger, but Gojo became quieter the more deeply something affected him.
“Join me.” You glanced over your shoulder, your eyes meeting his bare ones. He’d forgone his glasses, looking through you openly.
You dipped your fingertips into the current absently, watching moonlight fracture apart around your skin.
Gojo still hadn’t moved closer.
Usually, he invaded space thoughtlessly, like proximity meant nothing to him because nothing in the world could truly reach him anyway. Now he lingered several feet behind you instead.
“C’mon…” You held out your hand for him, a gesture loose but inviting.
Gojo wasn’t one for affection, let alone with you; the one person at Jujutsu High who never seemed entirely fixed in shape.
You occupied space the way reflections occupied mirrors: faithfully enough to be recognizable, falsely enough to distort whatever leaned too close. Around teachers, you became attentive and restrained.
Around classmates, something easier to digest; amused, aloof, and human in all the expected ways. Around curses and cursed users, however, the performance loosened at the seams.
There, people recognized you immediately.
Not because they understood you, but because predators always recognize the absence of fear in one another. Yet, fear rolled right off of you. Fear was like a pet to you: something you picked up to get a better look at but that you soon grew tired of.
No one knew where you came from before joining the Jujustu world. Every answer you offered arrived polished, complete enough to discourage further questions while somehow revealing nothing at all.
Over time, it became difficult to tell whether you were secretive or if there simply was no singular version of you waiting underneath to be uncovered.
However, all you truly did was reflect people back at themselves so perfectly that they mistook recognition for intimacy.
The Higher Ups interpreted this adaptability as arrogance. They believed you to be evasive because they still subscribed to the delusion that every person possessed a stable truth somewhere beneath performance.
They wanted motives clean enough to dissect, loyalties visible enough to weaponize. Yet, you had never deceived anyone. Instead, you existed somewhere beyond a cautionary tale.
You hadn’t lived peerless in a world of your own; you simply understood that identity functioned best as ritual; it was all a careful arrangement of signs where every softened smile, every calculated silence, every measured expression existed less to conceal meaning than to interrupt the obsessive human need to locate one.
You were not hiding behind the mirror’s reflection; you were guarding it. And Gojo, cursed with seeing too much, was the only person who realized the reflection had been looking back at him the entire time.
“...Satoru.” You beckoned him gently.
The sound of his name seemed to resolve him.
His hand found yours, your warmth grounding in a way he hated noticing. He was careful not to move too suddenly, afraid your instincts to run would find their footing again.
So, Gojo lowered himself beside you carefully, dark fabric gathering dirt at the knees without complaint.
There was something strangely cathartic about seeing him like this; not smiling like catastrophe was entertaining and not hidden behind expensive sunglasses or practiced irreverence—just Satoru beside you at the riverbank with damp earth beneath his hands and exhaustion sitting visibly in the lines of his body.
“I just needed air…” You leaned forward slowly, dipping your hands beneath the water.
The cold shocked pleasantly against your skin. You drank first, river water slipping metallic and clean across your tongue before you splashed more against your face.
The movement pulled slightly at your ribs. Gojo noticed the hidden grimace.
“...worrying isn’t worth it.” You dragged wet fingers back to the nape of your neck before glancing sideways toward him.
“That’s kind of impossible now.”
The response came too quickly, and Gojo seemed to realize it too late. His jaw tightened faintly afterward, gaze dropping toward the river as he could somehow pull the words back out of the air.
Usually, he recovered from something like this effortlessly. He would turn everything into a joke before anyone could examine it too closely, but tonight the performance kept slipping at the edges, no matter how hard he tried to hold it together.
“Seriously, Satoru, you can breathe.” You frowned slightly, confused by the resistance.
His eyes lifted toward yours immediately. For a second, he said nothing because, for some reason, your directness seemed to affect him more than if you'd tried to be kind.
Then a quiet laugh escaped him, thin around the edges. “Am I that obvious?”
“I mean, something's clearly wrong with you.” Knocking his shoulder softly with your own, you tried to lighten the tension. “I understand that you’re upset—
“That’s the thing—” Gojo’s gaze stayed fixed somewhere ahead, unfocused. “—I’m not upset. I know what upset feels like…” A frown touched his mouth briefly. “This was different.”
The river rushed louder in the silence afterward.
For a while, neither of you spoke again. Water rushed over stone in low rhythmic sounds while moonlight drifted in fractured pieces across the current. Beside you, Gojo sat with his elbows resting loosely over his knees, gaze fixed somewhere ahead but never quite settling there.
However, you know he was still watching you, still checking. You could feel it in the way his attention snagged every time you shifted too quickly or breathed too sharply.
Your gaze dropped toward his hands resting in the dirt beside him.
Blood had long since been washed away, but you remembered them anyway, shaking against your chest, smeared red to the wrists while he tried to force life back into your body through sheer refusal alone.
Carefully, you reached for them.
“Don’t be a prude, Satoru…” You teased lightly as you felt him still.
His eyes lifted toward your face as your fingers closed loosely around his wrists. You felt the moment instinct nearly made him pull back—not from you, but from being handled so gently.
Without waiting for permission, you guided his hands forward into the river beside yours, cold water rushing instantly over both your skin.
“Shit.” Gojo inhaled quietly through his nose at the temperature. “That’s freezing.”
A faint smile lifted at your mouth.
You kept hold of his hands beneath the current anyway, thumbs brushing absently against his wrists while moonlight warped silver around both your reflections.
Your grip loosened slightly around his wrists before sliding downward, guiding his hands deeper beneath the water.
Then Gojo shifted suddenly beside you.
Before you could react, his fingers turned within your grasp, sliding carefully against yours until he was the one holding your hands now.
Your breath caught faintly.
Not from fear. Something far worse.
Gojo guided your joined hands upward from the river slowly, cold water streaming between your wrists and down his sleeves. Then, he dragged your wet fingers across his face, the same way you had moments earlier.
Water clung briefly to his skin, catching beneath the moonlight before disappearing into the pale strands of his hair when he pushed it back loosely.
The gesture should have felt playful. Instead, it was strangely intimate. Grounding.
Gojo exhaled softly afterward, eyes falling shut for half a second like the cold finally interrupted whatever relentless noise had been building inside him these past weeks.
The moment stretched quietly between you both afterward.
River water dripped slowly from your joined hands, slipping cold over skin already numb from the current. Gojo still hadn’t let go completely, fingers loose now around yours like he’d forgotten he was holding them in the first place.
You watched him for a second beneath the moonlight. Then, gently, carefully, you untangled your hands from his.
Gojo’s fingers twitched faintly at the loss of contact. A soft breeze moved through the trees overhead, stirring damp strands of white hair across his forehead where the water still clung.
Without really thinking about it, you lifted your hand again. Your fingers slid lightly into his hair.
You brushed the wet strands back from his face slowly, your nails barely grazing his scalp in the process. The motion exposed more of him to the moonlight: pale lashes, sharp cheekbones, the subtle tension sitting constantly around his eyes like exhaustion had settled there permanently.
You felt him inhale sharply, almost startled.
“Shoko said you haven’t been sleeping lately,” you murmured.
No response.
Your fingers continued absentmindedly through his hair, combing damp strands away from his forehead. Gojo’s gaze remained fixed entirely on you now, unfocused in a way that made something warm and dangerous curl low beneath your ribs.
“She said you’ve been taking extra missions too.” Your thumb brushed lightly near his temple. “Overworking yourself usually means one of two things with sorcerers—” Still nothing, not even a joke. “—Satoru.”
His throat moved once visibly.
You tilted your head slightly, watching with amusement.
“Are you even listening to me?”
Gojo stared at you for another long second before he shook his head. Honest enough that a quiet laugh escaped you before you could stop it.
The sound seemed to snap something loose in him slightly. Color had begun to creep faintly across the bridge of his nose and the tops of his cheeks, subtle beneath the moonlight but unmistakably there.
Gojo watched your expression shift as though he’d never seen it before. Maybe he hadn’t. Most people only ever saw curated versions of you; sharpened edges hidden beneath performance, every gesture calculated enough to keep genuine vulnerability at a safe distance.
“You know,” you said, amusement threading softly beneath the words, “you’re a lot easier to read without the glasses.”
Gojo groaned softly beneath his breath.
“Don’t worry, I’m not judging you.” Another soft laugh left you, warmer this time despite your sarcasm.
“No?” His gaze sharpened faintly despite the blush still lingering there. “Then what are you doing?”
“I think,” you offered softly, “I’m thanking you.”
You brushed damp strands away from his forehead again, carefully, smoothing them back into something almost neat. It changed his face slightly; softer around the edges, less untouchable.
"You still care about that thing?" His voice sounded rougher now.
There it was. You had been waiting for it: the retreat and sudden pivot toward safer ground. It would've been easier if he had stayed embarrassed. It would be easier if he'd made another joke. Instead, he reached for the one subject guaranteed to put distance back between you, the thing that kept pulling you away from him.
"Of course."
Something in his expression darkened. Because of course you did. Because almost dying hadn't changed anything. The same way being found never stopped you from running.
"Figures."
The word settled between you with surprising gentleness, simply resigned. As though some stubborn part of him had spent weeks hoping the answer might be different despite knowing exactly what it would be. So, the river carried the silence away before either of you could fill it. The water continued to move steadily around half-submerged stones, moonlight breaking apart across the current and reforming farther downstream.
You sat shoulder-to-shoulder along the embankment, close enough that the damp fabric of his sleeve occasionally brushed your own whenever either of you shifted. Eventually, Gojo bent one knee, resting an arm lazily across it.
"You know," he said, gaze fixed on the dark water ahead, "for someone who almost died, you're being really stubborn about this."
"I survived."
"Unfortunately."
You laughed quietly; the sound seemed to please him despite himself. Then, with a sigh that suggested Gojo was burdened by the incompetence of everything, one hand disappeared into his pocket. You barely paid attention until he reached for your hand.
Something cool and metallic settled into the center of your hand.
Your breath caught because the weight registered first. Then the shape, ancient silver links pooled against your palm like spilled moonlight, with a pendant resting among them, worn smooth by centuries of handling.
"...Satoru."
"Yeah?" He hummed.
Your fingers tightened around the necklace, the metal feeling heavier than it should have. Heavier than months of rumors. Heavier than dead ends. Heavier than the blood spilled searching for it.
"You found it?"
For the first time since you'd met him, he seemed to consider lying.
The thought crossed his face. Then another. You watched him discard each explanation before it reached his mouth. None of them survived inspection.
"I bought it." His shoulders lifted in a small shrug.
"...Why?"
This time, the silence lingered.
For a moment, you thought he wouldn't answer. Then his thumb brushed once over the worn silver chain still caught beneath your fingers, grounding you both in the present.
"...Because every time I found you," he said quietly, "there was another lead."
The river moved endlessly beside you. His gaze never left the water.
"...Another rumor." A faint breath of laughter escaped him, brittle around the edges. "...Another idiot who supposedly knew where it was."
Then, for the first time since he'd started speaking, he turned toward you.
Moonlight caught in the pale blue of his eyes, and for once, there was nowhere for him to hide. You could see the exhaustion beneath the easy smile, buried under years of pretending things weighed less than they did. You understood what he wasn't saying; if you kept chasing it, one day he would follow another lead and arrive too late.
"There." Gojo's hand remained over yours, warm against the chill of the night. "Now you have it."
SUMMARY: Accused of being an alleged cursed user, you are brought before the Higher-Ups for judgment. The interrogation isn’t about guilt, it’s about whether Satoru Gojo will play the role he always does: smiling, untouchable, and perfectly willing to be the blade they point.
To everyone else, he is a weapon dressed in charm, a soldier who exists to end things cleanly. But you were the one person who never looked at him that way. When Gojo postpones your execution, mercy is born not from the system, but from the way he chooses to save the person who always saw him as human.
...You were my first love
And you'll be my last love...
PAIRING: Satoru Gojo x f!reader
WORD COUNT: 4.4K
A/N: I miss my man, sue me. I plan to do past and present vibes of how Gojo and reader have ~moments~ all angsty and yearning and slow burn vibes. Comments always encouraged. Enjoy (Inspired by this TikTok edit/Soldier Boy edits, it's made me go insane and start a new fic: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZThCvLN3j/) ** 6/7/26 - updated
part i
The first thing you felt was pain.
No, not pain, not exactly. It was the sudden, devastating absence of everything that had ever made you dangerous. That alone hurt more than a wound.
Your cursed energy sat somewhere impossibly far away, muffled and smothered beneath layers of ancient restraint. It still existed; you could feel its shape, its memory, but it was unreachable, like trying to move a limb that had already fallen asleep and forgotten you.
The ropes binding your wrists weren’t rope at all, but braided sutras, inked so densely they bled into one another. The script pressed into your skin until the symbols burned cold.
Iron rings bit into your forearms, etched with relic script old enough to predate modern sorcery. You recognized half of it from school: fundamentals, theory, history recited in clean classrooms by instructors who believed knowledge was safety. The other half was deliberately archaic, its meaning warped by age and intent, meant not to restrain but to humble.
It was a reminder that no matter what you’d become, they still believed they owned you.
You knelt at the center of the chamber, spine straight more from stubbornness than comfort. The floor beneath you was carved stone, smoothed by centuries of judgment, by bodies brought to heel in the name of order.
Every breath echoed too loudly. Every blink felt observed.
The Higher-Ups sat in shadowed tiers above, their presence heavy and indistinct. They were always without faces, always authority without accountability. You didn’t bother looking up anymore. You had learned long ago that nothing good ever came from meeting their gaze.
“State your name and affiliation.” One of them intoned.
You almost laughed.
“My name…” Your voice was calm, despite the seal biting into your throat. “...is the same one you stamped onto your records when I was fifteen. And my affiliation—” you tilted your head just enough for the iron at your neck to scrape. “—depends on who reported me.”
Murmurs rippled through the chamber. Disapproval, suspicion, and fear tangled together.
Another voice cut in sharply. “You have been seen at multiple sites of non-sorcerer casualties caused by cursed users. Witnesses report methods inconsistent with jujutsu protocol.”
“Inconsistent.” You echoed. “Not incorrect.”
Silence stretched. Then, footsteps. They were unhurried, bored in their stride.
You felt him before you saw him; you were sure the others did too. The air shifted, pressure changing as if the world itself were making room. The seals that held you hum uneasily, reacting to something far greater than they were designed to restrain.
You didn’t look up; you didn’t need to.
“Well…” Satoru Gojo’s amusement threaded through his voice like it always had. “...this is nostalgic of our student days.”
Your frustration tightened.
You could picture him perfectly anyway—hands in his pockets, posture loose, and blindfold pristine, still as annoyingly untouchable and unchanged as before.
Unlike you.
“They’ve really got you tied up…” He crouched slightly, inspecting you as if he were inspecting an exhibit. “Kinda rude, don’t you think? You were never that scary.”
You finally lifted your eyes. Even blindfolded, you knew exactly where he was looking.
The Higher-Ups bristled on your behalf. “Satoru Gojo, this individual is suspected of acting as a cursed user—”
“—Nah,” He interrupted casually.
The room stilled, the silence turning dense, suffocating.
“You dare defend a cursed user?”
He grinned.
For the first time since they dragged you into this room, you realized this interrogation wasn’t about guilt. It was about whether Satoru Gojo would be the one to stop you or the one who finally understood why you’d crossed the line at all.
—
“I have no intention to ever deny myself of what I want.”
“That’s quite the philosophy.” Gojo peered over the rim of his sunglasses, far more amused than you were. “What did you do that led to such…hedonism?”
You had recently been transferred from the Kyoto school.
The paperwork was thin, the kind of thing that said more in its omissions than in ink. There was no formal expulsion nor scandal written plainly, just a polite phrasing about differences in philosophy and difficulty integrating. Then, you were simply escorted out, your bag light enough to suggest you weren’t meant to stay there long anyway.
Principal Yaga had met you at the gates of Tokyo Jujutsu High with the sort of calm that felt earned. He didn’t ask why you were sent away, and never asked what you did. He only said you’d find Tokyo…less rigid.
You were smart enough to know that was not the same as kind.
Gojo, however, had been bothering you for weeks.
He was circling the question from different angles, dropping casual remarks that weren’t nearly as casual as he pretended, watching you with those impossible eyes, like you were a puzzle he refused to leave unsolved. He was trying to figure out what exactly you had done.
“Did you deserve it?” He prodded.
“Deserving something never really matters, does it?” Your gaze flicked up to him. “You know that better than anyone.”
For a moment, you just stared at him.
Gojo was studying you again, head tilted slightly, like he was trying to read something beneath the surface. You could practically feel the weight of his attention, the quiet scrutiny of someone used to seeing more than other people could hide.
Then, finally, he asked the question no one else had bothered to.
“You wanted this, didn’t you?”
The question slipped between you before you could brace for it. And you knew what he meant, not whether you deserved what you became, but whether some part of you had wanted it; did the desire come from necessity or from the quiet thrill of knowing you were capable of it? Did you drift toward it because the world offered no better shape for you? Did you surrender to it, or did you indulge in it?
And beneath all of that, was it worth it?
For a moment, the wind through the tall trees of the school was the only thing moving.
The campus had that strange stillness it always carried at dusk, the kind that made the world feel like it was holding its breath. Leaves whispered overhead, restless against the sky, not ready to settle for the day.
So, you didn’t answer immediately.
Gojo watched you in that infuriating way of his, leaning slightly forward, elbows resting on his knees like a bored spectator at a play. His sunglasses had slipped just low enough to reveal the faintest sliver of blue.
Those eyes were always hungry for something. Truth, maybe, or proof.
Your lips twitched.
“I told you, I have no intention to ever deny myself of what I want.” You repeated, emphasizing your certainty. “I highly recommend it.”
Gojo hummed softly.
“That doesn’t answer the question.”
You looked at him then; you looked at the strongest sorcerer alive sitting across from you like a curious child who had just discovered a knife and couldn’t decide whether it was a toy or a weapon.
“You already know the answer.” You tilted your head. “Stop being coy.”
He didn’t move, didn’t blink, which meant you were right. He just wanted to hear you say it.
Gojo leaned back against the wooden engawa with a quiet exhale, stretching his long legs out in front of him. The movement was casual, lazy even, but you noticed the way his attention sharpened rather than softened.
“So Kyoto got rid of you because you wanted something,” he said slowly. A faint smirk tugged at his mouth. “That feels a little dramatic, even for them.”
“They prefer obedience dressed up as virtue.” You gave a small shrug.
“And you don’t?”
“No.” The word came easily.
Gojo studied you again. Not with his Six Eyes this time, not prying into the currents of cursed energy or trying to read the architecture of your technique. He looked like he was trying not to cheat.
“And what was it?” He asked.
“What was what?” You rested your chin in your palm, expression almost bored.
“The thing you wanted badly enough to get kicked out.”
“You’re very invested in this.” The corner of your mouth lifted some more.
“Of course I am,” he said lightly. “You show up with a transfer record, a philosophy that sounds like a manifesto, and you expect me not to be curious?”
You leaned closer, just enough that the distance between you felt deliberate.
“If I were a revolutionary.” Your gaze didn’t waver. “You would’ve figured it out already.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Gojo’s smile widened, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Sometimes the most interesting people are the ones who hide.”
A beat passed. Then you stood, brushing invisible dust from your uniform like the conversation had already bored you.
“You still didn’t answer me,” Gojo called lazily.
You paused halfway down the wooden walkway. The evening light caught the side of your face, leaving the rest of you in shadow. When you finally looked back, your expression was almost thoughtful.
“You think very highly of me.”
“Am I wrong?”
“Completely.” You walked back toward him, slow and unhurried, stopping a few steps away. “I’ve always wanted to live in Tokyo.”
“…that’s it?”
“I’d never been.” You nodded, continuing casually. “But everyone talks about it like it’s the center of the world. More curses. More sorcerers. More things happening.”
Gojo stared at you. Your eyes drifted briefly toward the distant city skyline barely visible beyond the forest.
“I figured I should see it for myself.”
“You got yourself kicked out of Kyoto,” he said slowly, “because you wanted to move?”
“You’ve never done something purely for fun?” You joked. Yet, there was something about the way you spoke that didn’t sound like a joke at all. Not even a little.
Gojo’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer.
The wind shifted through the trees again, stirring the branches above the engawa. Somewhere farther down the path, a pair of other students laughed, their voices drifting faintly through the evening air before dissolving into the quiet.
You looked perfectly unconcerned with his silence.
That was the first clue; most people fell silent when they realized they’d said something strange. They rushed to explain themselves, to soften whatever oddness they’d let slip.
You didn’t. You simply watched the horizon like the conversation had already ended.
Gojo tipped his head back slightly, studying the fading light above the treeline. His expression remained easy, but his mind had already moved several steps ahead.
Kyoto didn’t remove sorcerers out of curiosity. They removed them for inconvenience. For unpredictability. For things that refused to stay inside the neat, inherited boxes, the higher-ups liked to pretend the world still followed.
His gaze slid back to you.
You came to Tokyo because you wanted to. That much was true, but people rarely uprooted their lives for something as simple as curiosity. Especially not people like you.
People like you moved when the world started getting too small or when you had plans.
“You know…” Gojo exhaled softly through his nose, voice drifting back into its usual lightness. “...everyone is going to love this.”
You glanced at him again.
“...wanting to see Tokyo…new city, new scenery…” His smile returned, lazy and bright. “...I’ll let everyone know it’s a fresh start…”
“How generous of you.” Your eyes narrowed slightly.
“I’m a generous guy.” He stretched out along the wooden engawa, long legs extended as he tipped his head back toward the sky. “Plus, everyone loves an underdog.”
You let out a quiet breath of laughter as you turned and started down the walkway.
Even as he relaxed, something in his attention sharpened. Because Gojo could already feel it. Not through his Six Eyes, not through cursed energy or technique, or anything that could be measured.
Somehow, he knew this went beyond strength. It was instinct. The same instinct that had told the jujutsu world, the moment he was born, that its balance was fragile enough to break.
Your answer was a half-truth. And you were well aware he knew better than the others, but that wasn’t the interesting part. The interesting part was something else entirely.
You weren’t born into a clan. You hadn’t inherited some ancient technique meant to rival his. You hadn’t even entered this world the way most people did.
You had simply… arrived.
It was as if you had wandered into the jujutsu world by accident. And yet the air around you carried a quiet kind of defiance. Not loud. Not revolutionary. You held a calm refusal to treat any of it with the reverence it demanded.
You looked at curses, sorcerers, traditions, hierarchies, and somehow reduced them to something ordinary.
You even looked at Gojo that way. Not as the strongest. Not as the weapon the higher-ups feared and relied on in equal measure. Gojo had spent most of his life being treated like a natural disaster. To you, he was just another boy sitting on the porch of a school at dusk.
Gojo watched you leave. He watched the way you moved without hurry, as if you had already decided where you belonged.
Most people who came to Tokyo Jujutsu High were pieces placed on a board. Students. Teachers. Sorcerers. All of them were moving along lines someone else had drawn. But you didn’t look like a piece. You looked like the kind of person who changed the board simply by existing on it.
Gojo’s smile spread slightly.
Because if he was right, things in Tokyo were about to get a lot more complicated. And for the first time in a while, that sounded fun.
—
A quiet metallic click broke the silence.
“Wow…” Gojo whistled. Across from you, he crouched with a key ring spinning lazily around one finger. “…they really went all out…”
Another click, the second restraint slipping open.
You lifted your eyes slowly. You watched him in silence.
Gojo looked the same, he still had that loose posture and irritating calm that was always poorly timed. His blindfold was simple, like the entire concept of consequence had politely declined to bother him.
“Honestly…” He continued, examining the sutra bindings around your wrists, “You should be flattered, really…”
You flexed your fingers slightly as the pressure eased. His fingers brushed your skin as he peeled the paper seals back, the contact brief, but unavoidable.
The sutras crackled softly as they lifted, layers of inked scripture tearing free from the iron rings. You recognized half of the script from school, clean fundamentals, the kind recited in classrooms by instructors who believed knowledge meant safety. The other half was meant to humiliate you.
Your cursed energy hid, not yet ready to be by your side again. It was still buried somewhere beneath layers of script and suppression, distant and numb. It felt like trying to move a limb that had fallen asleep and forgotten it belonged to you.
Another seal came loose with a dull snap.
The weight around your arms lessened as you rolled your shoulders once, slow and stiff, and the movement forced Gojo to shift slightly closer to keep working. His knee bumped lightly against yours where you knelt.
Neither of you commented on it. Gojo broke the quiet first; he always hated when you were quiet because it meant something was wrong.
“Welcome back.” He began lightly, working at the iron collar around your throat.
His hands were careful this time, fingers working the mechanism just beneath your jaw. The lock there resisted.
Gojo leaned closer. He was close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath against the side of your neck as he examined the seal. The collar finally gave out with a heavy clank.
“Should I be honored?” You inhaled slowly as the pressure vanished, rubbing the sore skin at your throat.
“Definitely.” His grin widened. Your expression didn’t change. “You’re the first execution candidate we’ve ever hired.”
Gojo watched you carefully for a second. He didn’t find relief or gratitude, just that same quiet indifference you always carried. If anything, you looked tired. Exhausted.
“Let me guess,” you stretched your arms slowly, blood prickling painfully back into your hands. “I’m under some kind of supervision.”
“Technically—”
“And if I defect?”
“I’ll handle it.”
You huffed a quiet breath. Of course. That was the part the Higher-Ups liked; the strongest sorcerer alive was keeping you on a leash.
“They trust you with that?” You leaned your head back against the stone wall behind you, the cold surface grounding.
“Apparently.”
“I mean, you’ve done it once before, what’s another, right?” You shifted your head, looking at him again.
The name didn’t need to be said, Geto hung there anyway. You hit below the belt on purpose; you wanted to see how far your frustration could reach.
For once, Gojo didn’t answer immediately. His hands paused briefly as they were unwinding the last binding from your wrists. Then, he finished removing it as nothing had happened.
“Something like that.”
You watched him for a moment, hoping for something hurtful to come your way. After all these years, you deserved more than an insult. You wanted malice, but Gojo never delivered.
“Take it off.”
“Hmm?” Gojo hummed softly at the request, half lost in his thoughts and half listening to you as he finished whatever remained.
“Your blindfold.” Your gaze didn’t waver. “I want to see you.”
The request was simple, yet felt anything but.
The chamber was quiet but it had gone silent now that the restraints were gone, the air settling into the hollow stillness of a place meant for judgment.
For a moment, you thought Gojo would deflect with a joke. However, slowly, deliberately, he reached up and tugged the blindfold free, the fabric slipping away.
An impossible blue met your gaze, brighter than you remembered. Sharper. Yet, not untouched.
You studied him openly. You recognized the sorcerer before you. He was neither the weapon or executioner the Higher-Ups believed him to be. There was capability there, and yet all you saw was Satoru, the boy who sat too close to you in class and pretended it wasn’t on purpose.
“You look tired.” You commented, causing something to flicker behind his eyes. “Still not sleeping well?”
Gojo always hated the way you read him. It was never anything profound, you weren’t peeling back some hidden truth. You just noticed the surface far too easily.
“You look worse.”
A faint breath of a laugh escaped you before you could stop it.
The distance between you had shrunk somewhere along the conversation. Close enough that you could see the fine cracks of exhaustion beneath his composure. Close enough that he hadn’t bothered putting the blindfold back on.
Then, for a second, something unspoken moved between you. Grief, maybe. Or memory. Then you looked away first.
“Does this make you feel better?” You asked. “Keeping me here where you can watch me?”
“Is that how it looks to you?”
“Execution gets interrupted,” you continued evenly. “Then suddenly I’m moving into faculty housing. That sounds a lot like favoritism on your part.”
“Don’t get it confused, the Higher-Ups aren’t thrilled about this; they still want you dead.” Gojo’s mouth twitched faintly. “They agreed to postpone the execution.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Postpone.”
“Indefinitely,” he added, almost lazily.
“And the catch?” you asked.
Gojo gestured vaguely toward the campus beyond the chamber walls. “You stay here. Work here.”
“And if I want to leave?” Your brow creased faintly.
“Where you go I go.”
Gojo ignored the true meaning of your question, so you pressed further.
“And if I decide not to come back?”
“Still just as charming.” He laughed, his mask of humor sliding easily into place. “I would accept a ‘thank you.’”
You frowned.
Gojo glanced toward the door and pushed himself upright with an easy stretch.
“Well,” he said, treating the conversation as something trivial, “We should probably get you somewhere less execution-y.” He stepped aside, gesturing casually toward the exit. “After you.”
You pushed yourself off the wall, your body disagreeing immediately; the moment your weight settled fully on your legs, the lingering numbness from the restraints surged upward like a shockwave.
Pins and needles exploded through your calves, your knees buckling before giving out. You didn’t fall far because a hand caught your arm.
Gojo’s grip was firm, instinctive.
For a moment, your balance tipped toward him, your shoulder brushing into his chest as the world steadied itself again. His hand came up to steady your back, fingers splayed between your shoulder blades like he’d done it a hundred times before. Maybe he had, but you’d pushed the memory so deeply you’d forgotten.
“Careful.” His hand lingered a moment longer than necessary before he loosened his hold, but he didn’t step away.
“I’m fine.” You straightened slowly.
He stayed close as you took a tentative step forward. Your legs trembled again, but he didn’t comment. Instead, he just adjusted his pace to match yours.
Outside, evening air slipped through the open doorway, cool against overheated skin. The campus lanterns flickered softly to life along the path. You walked in silence for several steps. Not touching, but close enough that you could if you needed to.
“I won’t be here for long.” You said it more like a promise to yourself than a warning to him and the words hung in the cooling evening air as the two of you walked.
Gravel shifted beneath your shoes, the quiet crunch loud in the stillness of the campus. You had walked these paths before, years ago, when everything had still been theoretical. When sorcery was something instructors diagrammed on chalkboards and not the slow erosion of a life.
Tokyo Jujutsu High looked the same; lanterns swayed faintly along the paths, old wood breathed beneath the night air, and students’ voices drifted somewhere far off, careless in the way only the young could afford to be.
It was strange how a place could stay unchanged while the people inside it slowly learned what the work really cost.
Because sorcery was not a career. It was attrition.
You watched people disappear from it one way or another. Bodies, sometimes. More often something quieter. Conviction. Warmth. The ability to want things that had nothing to do with survival.
Eventually, most sorcerers stopped wanting anything at all which only made the violence easier.
That had always been the unsettling thing about him. Most people tried to convince you to stay. Tried to correct you, contain you, reshape you into something that fit neatly inside the system. Gojo had never bothered.
He slowed slightly as you reached a bend in the path, the main buildings of Tokyo Jujutsu High coming into clearer view through the dark trees. The lantern light brushed across the side of his face, catching faintly in his uncovered eyes; you still weren’t used to seeing them.
Back then, in school, he had looked at you like that too, directly, point-blank, with the careless curiosity of someone who had never learned to fear anything looking back.
Most people avoided looking at him too long. Not because he demanded it. Because when they did, they realized exactly how frightening he could be. Strength like his distorted the room around it.
“Then why bother?” You studied him a moment, suspicious.
“Because,” he said lightly, “I’m not naive…”
Gojo hummed, hands sliding into his pockets as if the answer were obvious.
“...you’ve never been good at staying where people put you.” His gaze flicked toward you briefly, bright even in the dim lantern light. “That’s why I have to take advantage of you being here.”
“Oh please, Satoru…” You scoffed quietly, the sound dry with disbelief.
You knew better than anyone that you had nothing to offer the school. Nothing they’d want. Nothing that would fit inside the tidy philosophy the Higher-Ups liked to pretend jujutsu sorcery followed.
The truth was obvious: sorcerers died.
Alone, usually. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Sometimes as heroes, sometimes as cautionary tales whispered to first-years who still believed they were being trained for something noble.
The world liked to pretend that sacrifice made the loneliness meaningful. It rarely did.
Gojo shook his head.
“The students are talented,” he said, almost thoughtfully. “But they need perspective.”
Your eyes drifted toward the training grounds in the distance, where faint movement flickered between the trees. Young sorcerers were learning how to survive a world that would eventually grind most of them down to nothing.
“And you think I’m perspective?”
“I need you to teach them what fun actually looks like.” He nodded once, like the answer had never been in doubt.
“Fun.” You studied him carefully, the word tasting strange in your mouth.
Fun wasn’t something sorcerers talked about often.
Fun implied indulgence.
Appetite.
It was the willingness to enjoy something even when it served no practical purpose. Most of the jujutsu world considered that dangerous, exploitative even.
“Yeah.” His eyes flicked toward you, bright even in the dimming light. “You do remember that concept, right?”
You huffed a quiet breath through your nose, causing Gojo’s smile to tug a little wider.
“Most of them think being a sorcerer means surviving.” He looked ahead toward the campus buildings again. “Or sacrificing themselves for the bigger picture.”
His voice stayed light, but something in it had sharpened.
“They’ve been taught duty.” He shrugged one shoulder. “Responsibility. All the usual depressing stuff.”
They were taught words people used when they wanted to pretend denying themselves life was virtuous instead of convenient.
“...yet, you…” Gojo’s attention drifted back toward you. There was something almost amused in his voice now. “You’ve always been the worst possible example of that.”
“Should I be flattered again?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
For a moment, you just studied him, the easy certainty in his tone landing somewhere between mockery and sincerity. Gojo noticed the look and tilted his head slightly.
“You never acted as if any of it mattered,” he continued. “You just…” he gestured vaguely in your direction, searching for the word. “…did whatever you felt like.”
“That’s your inspirational lesson?”
“Pretty much.”
Then he glanced at you again, something quieter moving beneath the humor. Something that had always been there when the two of you looked at each other long enough.
Understanding, maybe. Recognition. Or possibly the only two people who had realized very early on that the jujutsu world would eventually take everything from them. The difference was that Gojo had decided long ago to change the system before it could finish the job. You had simply refused to let the system decide how you lived before it did.
“…and if you’re already planning to disappear…” A grin slipped back across his face. “…might as well make Tokyo interesting first.”
SUMMARY: After disappearing into the city while chasing rumors of a cursed object, you are finally found by the one person who always seems capable of finding you: Satoru Gojo. Later, beside a river, the argument you've been having for months finally reaches its conclusion.
The world should have protected him; instead, he has been asked to protect it. What an honor. What an injustice.
PAIRING: Satoru Gojo x f!reader
WORD COUNT: 7.3K
WARNINGS: canon-typical things, Shoko smoking, drinking, cursing, gun/pistol, some violence, near-death experiences, inaccurate CPR, injuries (and what comes with it, like blood, bruises, etc.), cursed users, ANGST, touch-starved Gojo, sappy Gojo, maybe ooc Gojo, underlying feelings, a lot of talk about Gojo being the strongest, etc.
A/N: I went a little crazy with this one and put my heart and soul into making this flow and referenced so many things and was inspired by so much (if you'd like to know more, I'm more in-depth on AO3). Enjoy.
COMMENTS ENCOURAGED.
prologue
The lot crouched beneath the city's boundaries.
Tainted water dripped from the cracked ceiling. The concrete smelled of rust, mildew, and old violence. It was the sort of place where things were buried and left for memory to rot around them.
Men. Cursed Objects. Secrets.
"Fuck—!"
The scream shredded the static as your finger dipped into the bullet wound.
It wasn't a human sound, not really. Whatever dignity language offered had been stripped from it. The cry clawed its way out from somewhere primal, ripped from the deepest part of the body like the cry of a wounded animal cornered in its den. The sound bounced between concrete pillars before eventually dissolving into the dark.
You tilted your head, pressing your thumb deeper.
The Cursed User folded around the pain, blood bubbling between his teeth as his hands clawed uselessly at your wrist.
The wound looked ugly on him as you watched with detached interest. There was something almost disappointing about it; men who built themselves around power always became smaller once they started bleeding.
Blood soaked through his shirt in sticky, dark patches, dripping steadily onto the pavement between his knees. Drip. Drip. Drip. His clock was counting down.
The blood streaked across the side of his jacket as you wiped your fingers clean while your pistol remained loose in your other hand.
You checked the chamber. One round remained. A metallic click echoed softly, causing the Cursed User to laugh through the blood.
"A sorcerer with a gun." His smile exposed red-stained teeth. "How pathetic. All that power and you choose something a monkey could use."
You glanced up. "Is it?"
His expression soured, your answer too easy for the situation and his state.
"I'm sure you can handle a few more holes." You crouched in front of him again
The barrel settled gently against his forehead, almost affectionate.
"Now..." Your voice lowered. "Who did you sell it to?"
"You've been chasing me for days, all for some old relic?" He breathed through disbelief. Blood rolled down his jaw. "You pretend you're different from people like me…"
You rolled your shoulders, bone and tendon popping softly beneath your jacket.
"...but you're digging through the same filth."
Around you, the garage bore the scars of your conversation. Acid had eaten through concrete pillars where his technique had misfired. Melted stone pooled across the floor in hardened scars. Rebar twisted from the wounds in the structure like exposed ribs.
The fight had been violent, thorough, and now final.
“Names.” Your thumb drew back the hammer. Click.
"You know what your problem is?" Despite the metal warming against his skin, he continued. "You don't enjoy this."
"No?"
"No." His body shook, shock coming sooner than expected. "That's what makes you worse."
That earned a faint chuckle from you; the speech before death was always unimportant. Always the same chattering in hopes it struck a chord hard enough to be understood for the faults that would be left behind.
"People like me are honest." He coughed, red splattering across the pavement. "We enjoy the power. The fear. The violence…”
His eyes, just barely able, lifted to yours.
"...you act like all of this is just a means to an end, you don't think you're cruel, but that’s your deception.” His breathing had become uneven, every word causing more damage than it was worth.
“Let’s not get off topic.” You shook your head at the censure. "You’ve sold something that wasn't yours—”
“—to someone willing to pay good money for it."
Good money hadn’t meant clean money.
“Yet, I’m deceptive?” You humored.
"You're still pretending this is about ownership."
For the first time since you'd found him, he'd managed to hit something. Not a nerve, but a small, loose thread. The cursed user saw it immediately. And like every dying man, he pulled.
"You're not looking for an object." He sneered, weak but victorious. "You're looking for whoever bought it, right?" The pistol pressed harder against his forehead. "Did they take something from you?"
"Careful."
"What was it? Huh?" He mocked softly. "Money? Reputation? A friend?"
Understanding flashed across his face—nothing complete but enough to make his eyes widen—and suddenly he looked at you differently. Not as a hunter. Not as a sorcerer. Not even as an enemy; you were someone chasing a ghost.
Before the trigger could be pulled, the air changed.
The Cursed User felt it before you did, eyes widening. He began scrambling backward, heels slipping through his own blood.
Whatever color was left drained from his face. Any fear aimed toward you vanished instantly, replaced by something much deeper. By something instinctive. Primal. He wasn't looking at the gun anymore. He was staring past your shoulder.
Beyond you.
The hammer eased forward beneath your thumb, moment ruined; you knew Satoru Gojo stood several feet away with his hands buried in his pockets like he'd been there the entire time.
Gojo’s gaze traveled across the ruined garage. He traced the blood, the acid remnants, the pistol at your side. Finally, it settled on you. Then he smiled, bright enough to be dangerous.
“...are you trying to seduce me?” His tone was warm and amused, entirely too pleased with himself.
People mistook seduction for desire.
They imagined it lived in mouths and hands and lingering glances. That was only an appetite dressed in prettier clothes.
No—seduction lived in uncertainty. The door was left slightly open. In the footprint that appeared where it shouldn't. In the question that refused to become an answer.
However, very few things remained capable of surprising Gojo. Fewer still could make him curious. You had learned long ago that curiosity was far more dangerous than attraction.
“Gojo.” You sighed his name, pushing to stand and face him properly.
The Cursed User looked between the two of you. Confused. Terrified. Losing consciousness. You ignored him, the very same Gojo did.
“I thought you were busy.”
He should still have been overseas. Something enormous had dragged him across an ocean days ago. Apparently, it hadn't been large enough.
"Why? You miss me?" He took another step into the lot.
The shadows seemed reluctant to touch him; the light gathered around him strangely, caught in his hair, his clothes, the edge of his smile, reflected in his dark glasses. It wasn’t enough to be distracting, but it was enough to make the darkness you crafted look temporary.
“Go.” You spat mercy at the Cursed User, picking him up by the collar to shove him away.
Gojo’s eyes flashed above the rim of his glasses, widening with interest at the demand. The Cursed User would be lucky to survive by the time he found help, and yet you still released him from the inevitable grip of death.
He watched the man stagger into the darkness, blood marking every step. Most people wouldn't survive the walk, but the Cursed User looked over his shoulder once. Then disappeared.
“Geto mentioned you’ve been gone for a few days…” Gojo stalked toward you. “I’m surprised you were able to get him to cover for you. Does he know what you’re up to?”
“He’s smart enough to connect the dots.” You spoke firmly, unsure whether to resist the truth or flee entirely from the actuality. “If you can, anyone can.”
“Funny.” He smirked. “I’m not just good looks, you know…”
A scoff escaped you as the cylinder of your pistol swung open.
The final bullet slid free, brass clicking softly against concrete. The sound echoed, small and ordinary. It was the sort of noise that belonged to a world neither of you actually lived in.
So, you tossed the empty pistol aside. It skidded through a streak of blood and disappeared into shadow.
“So?” Your voice remained even. “What now?”
Gojo could have already reported you for your movements. He could raise his hand and say the one thing that would guarantee your destruction. He could applaud you for getting this far with how few residuals you left for only someone as capable as him to trail.
Seduction, he called it. Wasn’t that what this was? Regardless, you knew better than to predict Gojo; tornadoes and Gods suffered from the same problem.
"Well," he started, dark glasses caught the fractured light. "I followed your trail across half the city." Another step closer. "Seems wrong to leave before I find out where it ends."
“That Yaga’s idea or yours?”
The fluorescent light overhead gave another exhausted buzz as you studied Gojo. He was entirely too difficult to get rid of; he was sent to collect you and wouldn’t stray from the fact.
“He was going to send Mei Mei.” Gojo was tickled by your wit. “But I told him to save his money—I’m doing you the favor, really.”
At first, your actions surprised Yaga. Eventually, his dissatisfactions learned your face.
In hindsight, you were glad it wasn't Mei Mei. She would've found you, but that wasn't the concerning part.
Mei Mei approached problems the same way she approached investments: efficiently, profitably, and without unnecessary sentiment. If Yaga had sent her after you, she would've already decided what your retrieval was worth.
Worse, she would've collected.
Gojo, however, was the consequence Yaga sent when he wanted to make a point.
The threat of his presence wasn't spoken aloud; it didn't need to be. It lived comfortably in the space beside you. In fact, no matter how far you wandered into the city. No matter how carefully you covered your tracks, the strongest sorcerer alive would eventually come strolling after you as though the outcome had never been in doubt.
A useful deterrent, an irritating companion; Gojo seemed to enjoy being both.
“You’re really fishing for a ‘thank you’ right now?” You raised a brow, walking to his side. You had gotten plenty of information, no longer needing to resist returning to campus.
“All I’m saying is you should appreciate the sacrifices I make for you.” He emphasized his suffering sarcastically.
A scoff escaped you, the sound seemingly enough to satisfy him as you left the lot.
The city swallowed you almost immediately once you stepped outside. The night had settled fully while you were underground. The neon signs were painted on the wet sidewalks in fractured colors while distant traffic hummed through Tokyo.
Behind you, you could feel Gojo's lazy posture in each unhurried step.
You didn't bother checking if he was following. Gojo didn't bother pretending he wasn't.
It took a few escapes from Jujustu High to accept it had become a ritual; Yaga would send someone to retrieve you, Gojo would volunteer, you’d pretend to resist, and he’d pretend he wasn’t enabling your so-called freedom.
Then, somewhere between wherever you had disappeared to and the school waiting on the other side of the city, the two of you would take the long way home.
You thought maybe it was mercy before punishment or maybe the other way around, but you never decided. Instead, it became a habit; you’d all but close your eyes, spin, and point at the nearest izakaya. Once you pushed through those curtains, the world narrowed enough to leave the rest of it outside.
Inside smelled like grilled fish, beer, and old wood. By the time you settled into a booth near the back, a cold glass had already found its way into your hand.
Condensation clung to your fingers.
Without hesitation, you lifted it and drank. The beer was bitter enough to sting and old enough to ache briefly against your teeth. Perfect.
You swallowed once. Twice. Half the glass disappeared before you lowered it again.
The warmth arrived almost immediately afterward, spreading slowly through your chest, loosening things you hadn't realized were tight. For the first time all evening, the ringing at the edge of the breeze faded.
The city became quieter. The chase became quieter. Even the ghost of the conversation left behind in the lot seemed less interested in following you.
Across the table, Gojo watched you openly, like he'd only just noticed something missing.
His gaze drifted from the half-empty glass to the faint bruise blooming beneath your jaw to the looseness in your shoulders, taking his time to return back to your face.
Curiosity had always come naturally to him. Most things became boring after he understood them. People especially. You remained irritatingly resistant to that process.
Then he laughed. Softly.
“You know,” he mused, leaning back against the booth. “I don't think I've ever seen you this happy.”
You lived in sin well.
“Cheap beer does that.” You commented, eyes tracing the place to motion for another.
“I don't think that's it.”
“No?”
Gojo shook his head. “My presence has this effect on people.”
The server dropped off another beer. Gojo watched you wrap your hand around it almost immediately, his smiling sticking.
“What does Utahime have to say about that?” The alcohol had worn down some of your usual resistance. Enough that smiling no longer felt like admitting defeat.
“Plenty.” Gojo huffed.
He leaned forward slightly, forearms settling against the table. The booth wasn't particularly small, but somehow he still managed to fill it. Long limbs. Broad shoulders. Too much height for furniture designed for ordinary people.
From where you sat, most of the room disappeared behind him.
The salarymen were arguing near the door. The couple sharing skewers by the window. Even the television was mounted behind the counter. All of it was reduced to fragments around the outline of his frame.
A wall encasing you, built entirely by accident.
“...you know,” he continued casually, “she'll be happy to see you.”
You paused.
“She shouldn’t idolize me.”
“That's what you got from that?” Gojo asked wryly.
You took a drink. “It's what you meant.”
“I meant she'll be happy to see you.”
“No.” The beer settled warm in your stomach. You rolled the glass lazily between your palms. “You meant she's worried.”
For a moment, Gojo simply watched you again.
His attention lingered longer than necessary at the bruise along your jaw, the split skin near your knuckles, the exhaustion sitting beneath your eyes. Not injuries that should have existed. Not on someone like you.
Most sorcerers got hurt because they weren't strong enough. You got hurt because somewhere along the way, you'd decided strength wasn't a good enough reason to avoid pain. That was the irritating thing.
Eventually, Gojo rested his chin in his palm.
Then he shrugged. “A little.”
You sighed through your nose. Utahime worried about everyone. It was one of the many reasons she would eventually become a better teacher—person than either of you.
“She'll survive.”
“And you?” Behind his glasses, his attention flicked back toward your jaw. “You’re getting sloppy.”
“Pity doesn’t suit you.” You narrowed your eyes.
A corner of his mouth twitched. “Good thing that's not what this is.”
Outside, soft rain began tapping softly against the window. Inside, conversations drifted together into a comfortable blur of voices and clinking glasses. The city felt far away. It always did in places like this. For a few hours, the world became small enough to ignore.
Then Gojo ruined it.
“Yaga's annoyed, you know.”
There it was.
It was never a confrontation or even a real transition. Gojo approached uncomfortable subjects the way cats approached closed doors. Equally casual and curious, pretending they hadn't been interested the entire time.
“That's his natural state.” You snorted
“...your disappearing doesn’t help.”
“Yeah, but you make sure I come back, right?”
The words slipped out before you could stop them. Something flashed briefly across his face. Heady satisfaction.
“That's true.”
“Don’t say it like it's an accomplishment.”
“It is.”
You clicked your tongue, your second beer disappearing only to be replaced by another.
The bastard enjoyed this. He wasn’t particularly fond of the drinking or the lectures from Yaga afterwards. It was the finding. You had realized that months ago; finding you had become a game.
You’d disappear. Gojo would appear.
Neither of you ever acknowledged the rules. Yet, somewhere between the Six Eyes and his stubbornness, Gojo always appeared eventually. And, if you were being honest, there were easier ways to avoid being found. You just never used them.
Because that was the beauty of it, wasn't it? You always came back. Gojo had gotten so used to that fact that he eventually stopped considering the alternative.
“Why?”
You laughed once, soft and cynical. “That's your question?”
“It's a pretty good one.”
“No, it isn't.”
“Then it should be easy to answer.”
“You know why.” You leaned back in the booth. The alcohol made the ceiling lights blur pleasantly around the edges.
“Humor me…”
You studied him for a moment. Studied the infuriating patience he could summon whenever something genuinely interested him.
“I have a lead.”
“On the cursed object.”
“A hunch.” You nodded.
“You've been missing for a week for a hunch?”
You disregarded how disappearing turned into missing.
“It's a very compelling hunch.”
The cursed object was a little bigger than an actual story. It was an old silver necklace belonging to a clan so ancient that even its name had begun to rot away.
The surviving accounts disagreed on almost everything except one detail. It gave: power, talent, insight, fortune, strength; the specifics changed depending on who was telling the story.
Yet, the results never had; people wanted it.
Most sorcerers heard stories like that and rolled their eyes. You heard them and paid attention because history was full of people who confused impossibility with rarity.
And if something truly existed that could give a person more, you couldn't imagine a reason not to reach for it.
“You could have told me.” Gojo’s smirk returned, the same smirk that had followed you to drag you back toward responsibilities neither of you particularly respected. “I’m good company.”
For a moment, despite yourself, you laughed. The sound was brief, roughened by exhaustion and beer, but it was enough.
Gojo soared internally because this was the other thing he liked about finding you. It was this, this strange stretch of borrowed time that existed between wherever you'd been and wherever you were supposed to be.
A soldier's minute.
The world beyond the izakaya continued without interruption. The rain gathered against the windows, the neon signs bled their colors across wet pavement, and somewhere outside, trains carried people home to lives neither of you would ever belong to.
Tomorrow remained exactly where it had always been. The endless machinery of a world that demanded pieces of people until there was nothing left worth demanding. Waiting. Looming.
Yet for an hour or two, the obsession with structure let you both exist freely.
In that bubble, the city narrowed. The noise receded. And you stopped running long enough to sit across from Gojo.
The tension never left you completely. Gojo doubted it ever would. But within this minute, it loosened. The line of your shoulders softened. The constant calculation behind your eyes dulled around the edges. Even the bruises seemed less severe beneath the amber glow hanging over the booth.
You looked younger when you forgot to guard yourself and indulged in his company without restraint.
Most people wanted things from him; even affection rarely arrived untouched. People loved him for who he was. As some form of strength or validation. He couldn't resent them for it because the role fit too comfortably; he had spent most of his life stepping into rooms and watching the air change for him.
You never did; you looked at him the way you looked at bartenders, cursed spirits, professors, and criminals. As though he occupied the same world as everyone else.
It should have bothered him beyond something superficial he put on to tease you.
Instead, he found himself lingering; he took the longer route back to campus, followed half-finished conversations into the middle of the night, sat through bad beer he wasn't drinking, and stories that never seemed interested in concluding.
He never examined the habit too closely because some things became smaller when you forced them into language. But there were moments, small enough to disappear if he looked at them too directly, when he almost felt normal.
There, he wasn’t the balance point upon which the entire jujutsu world precariously rested. He was humanly Satoru.
The difference was impossible to explain. Deep down, he suspected it was because every version of that feeling led back to you. If he ever held it up to the light and looked at it honestly, he would find your reflection waiting there.
—
Resuscitation wasn’t pretty. It was violence in service of survival.
Gojo hadn’t felt fear like this before. Sweat prickled at his lower back, crawling up his spine to the back of his neck. His breathing was short from a panicked exertion he wasn’t used to.
This went beyond sorcery; this was disgustingly human.
It was a test of his strength to hold back. Satoru Gojo never held back; he unleashed, he toyed with his own perception of what power could look like. Yet this—this was different, this he didn’t like.
This scared him.
Your ribs cracked. Gojo could practically feel the way they fragmented into your lungs. He could taste the blood on your lips when he pinched your nose. His breath expanded your body, but you never took over.
The threat of violence wasn’t enough for him to hold back. Instead, it encouraged him; it felt natural to exude what he was gifted, as he could finally stretch his legs properly.
This felt wrong.
Your eyelids were hooded, your gaze distant and far from the present. Your breath was so shallow, Gojo wasn’t sure if he actually felt it or if it was desperation manifested.
“Hey…Hey!” He cursed under his breath, pride and whim gone. “Come on…”
The realization hit with the same sickening certainty as stepping off a step that wasn't there.
When he arrived, for a single impossible second, the world simply refused to make sense. Then his gaze found the figure standing behind you. And recognition arrived; the cursed user from the lot all those weeks ago, the one you had spared.
Go, you’d said.
Gojo remembered the look on your face. He remembered thinking it was strange that someone capable of such calculated cruelty still insisted on offering mercy.
Mercy had never belonged to Gojo. It felt trivial; everything became stripped of purpose because he moved without panic or rage. His mind had gone horrifyingly blank the second he recognized your form on the ground.
Now, before him, blood coated his palms, tacky and going cold quickly.
Gojo barely registered the damage he did. There wasn’t cockiness to the display of power or strategy in how he retaliated against the Cursed User.
Everything touched by Hollow Purple ceased to exist so completely that it felt less like destruction and more like erasure itself. Things vanished in a catastrophic roar, carved away instantly, a man evaporating before he could even scream.
That somehow wasn’t enough.
It hurt to detach himself from you, his hands shaking as he drew a ritual circle around you in your own blood. It only stopped when he interlocked his hands to warp you both.
Teleporting back to Jujutsu High felt like rubbing one's eye too hard; vision blacked out into iridescent speckles that lingered in kaleidoscope-like patterns. Arriving felt like waking up, but when Gojo carried you to the infirmary, it was like dreaming.
Things were fragmented as someone tore you from his arms. Gojo half-remembered resisting, half-remembered relinquishing, the boundaries between everything dissolved into a surreal reality.
Gojo tried hard to remember each step he took, to pay attention to the details of your revival, but all he could do was leave. Each step added to the burden that already threatened to consume him.
He pushed it down as best he could, but there was nothing left to distract him. He thought stepping outside would help, but Gojo’s figure bent forward hard near the closest bushes lining the walkway.
He braced himself against the stone path with one hand while the other couldn’t figure out what to do. He threw up, spitting weakly once everything was out into the grass before dragging a hand down his face.
“Fuck.”
“This is new,” Shoko mumbled, cigarette bobbing as she spoke. “Thought you were above feelings.”
Gojo wiped his mouth, ignoring her.
“She’s fine, by the way…” She continued, entirely too unbothered by everything happening. “Well, will be. You got her here in time.”
Sweat collected at the nape of his neck from the adrenaline crash. Shoko watched him quietly for a moment through the curl of cigarette smoke.
“God, you look terrible.”
“Thanks.” His voice was hoarse.
“You know what your problem is?”
“....I’m sure you’ll tell me.” He was half listening. His gaze was fixed on the ground, trying hard to regain his composure.
“You’re all over the place, Gojo.” She tapped ash into the wet grass. “You must know by now that your enlightenment doesn’t extend to those you touch.”
Gojo looked at his hands like he hadn’t noticed how his cursed energy output vibrated differently. Space flickered subtly around his fingers, Infinity distorting weakly before smoothing itself out again.
He learned to use it effortlessly to the point of overconfidence. Now unstable for the first time in months since mastering it.
“Hm.” Gojo laughed once under his breath, humorless. “Look at that.”
Somewhere in the trees beyond campus, cicadas buzzed loud enough to fill the silence neither of Gojo nor Shoko seemed interested in breaking.
Shoko watched him quietly through the drifting cigarette smoke. It was unsettling, mostly because Gojo was never like this. Annoying? Constantly. Arrogant? Pathologically. Never shaken.
Satoru Gojo moved through life as someone the world had failed to punish properly. As the strongest sorcerer alive, he became untouchable by default. He joked through missions because there was never a point where things became serious enough to require fear.
Even his cruelty tended to be more apathetic than malicious; weakness simply failed to hold his attention for long. Now he sat outside the infirmary looking like his own body had turned unfamiliar to him.
Shoko hummed softly like she didn’t particularly care either way, which, honestly, she mostly didn’t.
People projected onto Gojo often. Usually fear, always resentment. Sometimes it was worship and other times dependence. Regardless, emotionally, he was smart enough to stay at arm’s length from almost everyone. It kept him easygoing because nothing reached him deeply enough to disrupt the balance.
Apparently, that had changed.
“You should go inside,” Shoko said eventually. “Talk to her.”
Gojo laughed once quietly under his breath. “No.”
Shoko’s cigarette paused halfway to her mouth. “No?”
He looked down at his hands. Your blood still sat stubbornly beneath his fingernails despite washing them repeatedly. For a long moment, he didn’t answer.
“She looked at me like she trusted me.” Gojo’s jaw tightened faintly. “And then she died anyway.”
For the first time since Shoko had walked outside, Gojo sounded genuinely lost. She expected anger or defensiveness, but she understood now that Gojo was just unable to process what he’d seen.
Shoko studied him for another second.
“Oh,” she realized flatly. “You care.”
Gojo stayed quiet, which was enough. Somewhere farther down campus, a barrier shifted with a low hum before settling again, a reminder that life continued, moved on.
“How inconvenient.” She joked.
—
You felt like an ugly hare trying to convince everyone around you that you, too, were a soft, sensible rabbit.
Not because you were cruel. Not because you particularly enjoyed violence, but because somewhere along the way, you had realized other people possessed an instinct you fundamentally lacked; a natural hesitation or limit, a quiet internal hand that reached out and stopped them before they crossed certain lines.
You had spent years pretending you possessed one.
It made people more comfortable. So you learned how to perform restraint.
You learned how to smile at the appropriate moments. How to soften your tone. How to tilt your head like someone thoughtfully considering morality instead of someone calculating outcomes.
You became good at it.
Because performance eventually calcified into habit, and habit became difficult to distinguish from truth. The problem was that rabbits eventually noticed when something moved like a predator; you were caught.
“You shouldn’t be up yet.”
Gojo hadn’t startled you, but his voice still carried weight in the quiet. It moved through the darkness behind you, low and measured, disturbing the night no more than the river before you did.
“Please, Satoru…” A faint smile touched your mouth despite your back still being turned toward him. “...you didn’t let me get very far.”
Even unconscious, you had felt him lingering near the school’s infirmary in fragments; the pressure of his cursed energy brushing constantly against your well-being.
When you could lift your head independently, that intrusion continued, checking and prodding that you were, in fact, still possessed by life. Yet now, after so much inactivity, sneaking out of the infirmary was an embarrassingly easy idea.
Shoko either underestimated your ability to ignore medical advice or intentionally left the doors unlocked out of morbid curiosity; everyone was affected by the way Gojo’s guilt sullied the atmosphere.
The night air hit your skin cool and damp the second your feet touched the grass outside. Your ribs still ached beneath the bandages wrapped tightly around your torso, every deeper breath pulling faintly at things left half-healed.
It hadn’t mattered because the dewy campus alone did what medicine couldn’t.
Paper lanterns reflected dimly along the stone pathway you took, the wind shifting softly through the trees lingering in the grounds, carrying the distant sound of water somewhere farther down.
For the first time in days, the world felt larger than the infirmary walls and the antiseptic smell that clung to your robes. So, you wandered without direction at first, mostly because movement itself felt relieving.
Eventually, you found yourself kneeling at a riverbank, damp earth soaking slowly through the fabric at your knees while dark water rushed endlessly past beside you.
The river looked ancient beneath the moonlight; indifferent in the way only old things could be, as though your suffering was too temporary to warrant acknowledgment.
Behind you, Gojo exhaled softly through his nose. Displeased. You had begun noticing that his anger rarely arrived loudly. Most people mistook volatility for danger, but Gojo became quieter the more deeply something affected him.
“Join me.” You glanced over your shoulder, your eyes meeting his bare ones. He’d forgone his glasses, looking through you openly.
You dipped your fingertips into the current absently, watching moonlight fracture apart around your skin.
Gojo still hadn’t moved closer.
Usually, he invaded space thoughtlessly, like proximity meant nothing to him because nothing in the world could truly reach him anyway. Now he lingered several feet behind you instead.
“C’mon…” You held out your hand for him, a gesture loose but inviting.
Gojo wasn’t one for affection, let alone with you; the one person at Jujutsu High who never seemed entirely fixed in shape.
You occupied space the way reflections occupied mirrors: faithfully enough to be recognizable, falsely enough to distort whatever leaned too close. Around teachers, you became attentive and restrained.
Around classmates, something easier to digest; amused, aloof, and human in all the expected ways. Around curses and cursed users, however, the performance loosened at the seams.
There, people recognized you immediately.
Not because they understood you, but because predators always recognize the absence of fear in one another. Yet, fear rolled right off of you. Fear was like a pet to you: something you picked up to get a better look at but that you soon grew tired of.
No one knew where you came from before joining the Jujustu world. Every answer you offered arrived polished, complete enough to discourage further questions while somehow revealing nothing at all.
Over time, it became difficult to tell whether you were secretive or if there simply was no singular version of you waiting underneath to be uncovered.
However, all you truly did was reflect people back at themselves so perfectly that they mistook recognition for intimacy.
The Higher Ups interpreted this adaptability as arrogance. They believed you to be evasive because they still subscribed to the delusion that every person possessed a stable truth somewhere beneath performance.
They wanted motives clean enough to dissect, loyalties visible enough to weaponize. Yet, you had never deceived anyone. Instead, you existed somewhere beyond a cautionary tale.
You hadn’t lived peerless in a world of your own; you simply understood that identity functioned best as ritual; it was all a careful arrangement of signs where every softened smile, every calculated silence, every measured expression existed less to conceal meaning than to interrupt the obsessive human need to locate one.
You were not hiding behind the mirror’s reflection; you were guarding it. And Gojo, cursed with seeing too much, was the only person who realized the reflection had been looking back at him the entire time.
“...Satoru.” You beckoned him gently.
The sound of his name seemed to resolve him.
His hand found yours, your warmth grounding in a way he hated noticing. He was careful not to move too suddenly, afraid your instincts to run would find their footing again.
So, Gojo lowered himself beside you carefully, dark fabric gathering dirt at the knees without complaint.
There was something strangely cathartic about seeing him like this; not smiling like catastrophe was entertaining and not hidden behind expensive sunglasses or practiced irreverence—just Satoru beside you at the riverbank with damp earth beneath his hands and exhaustion sitting visibly in the lines of his body.
“I just needed air…” You leaned forward slowly, dipping your hands beneath the water.
The cold shocked pleasantly against your skin. You drank first, river water slipping metallic and clean across your tongue before you splashed more against your face.
The movement pulled slightly at your ribs. Gojo noticed the hidden grimace.
“...worrying isn’t worth it.” You dragged wet fingers back to the nape of your neck before glancing sideways toward him.
“That’s kind of impossible now.”
The response came too quickly, and Gojo seemed to realize it too late. His jaw tightened faintly afterward, gaze dropping toward the river as he could somehow pull the words back out of the air.
Usually, he recovered from something like this effortlessly. He would turn everything into a joke before anyone could examine it too closely, but tonight the performance kept slipping at the edges, no matter how hard he tried to hold it together.
“Seriously, Satoru, you can breathe.” You frowned slightly, confused by the resistance.
His eyes lifted toward yours immediately. For a second, he said nothing because, for some reason, your directness seemed to affect him more than if you'd tried to be kind.
Then a quiet laugh escaped him, thin around the edges. “Am I that obvious?”
“I mean, something's clearly wrong with you.” Knocking his shoulder softly with your own, you tried to lighten the tension. “I understand that you’re upset—
“That’s the thing—” Gojo’s gaze stayed fixed somewhere ahead, unfocused. “—I’m not upset. I know what upset feels like…” A frown touched his mouth briefly. “This was different.”
The river rushed louder in the silence afterward.
For a while, neither of you spoke again. Water rushed over stone in low rhythmic sounds while moonlight drifted in fractured pieces across the current. Beside you, Gojo sat with his elbows resting loosely over his knees, gaze fixed somewhere ahead but never quite settling there.
However, you know he was still watching you, still checking. You could feel it in the way his attention snagged every time you shifted too quickly or breathed too sharply.
Your gaze dropped toward his hands resting in the dirt beside him.
Blood had long since been washed away, but you remembered them anyway, shaking against your chest, smeared red to the wrists while he tried to force life back into your body through sheer refusal alone.
Carefully, you reached for them.
“Don’t be a prude, Satoru…” You teased lightly as you felt him still.
His eyes lifted toward your face as your fingers closed loosely around his wrists. You felt the moment instinct nearly made him pull back—not from you, but from being handled so gently.
Without waiting for permission, you guided his hands forward into the river beside yours, cold water rushing instantly over both your skin.
“Shit.” Gojo inhaled quietly through his nose at the temperature. “That’s freezing.”
A faint smile lifted at your mouth.
You kept hold of his hands beneath the current anyway, thumbs brushing absently against his wrists while moonlight warped silver around both your reflections.
Your grip loosened slightly around his wrists before sliding downward, guiding his hands deeper beneath the water.
Then Gojo shifted suddenly beside you.
Before you could react, his fingers turned within your grasp, sliding carefully against yours until he was the one holding your hands now.
Your breath caught faintly.
Not from fear. Something far worse.
Gojo guided your joined hands upward from the river slowly, cold water streaming between your wrists and down his sleeves. Then, he dragged your wet fingers across his face, the same way you had moments earlier.
Water clung briefly to his skin, catching beneath the moonlight before disappearing into the pale strands of his hair when he pushed it back loosely.
The gesture should have felt playful. Instead, it was strangely intimate. Grounding.
Gojo exhaled softly afterward, eyes falling shut for half a second like the cold finally interrupted whatever relentless noise had been building inside him these past weeks.
The moment stretched quietly between you both afterward.
River water dripped slowly from your joined hands, slipping cold over skin already numb from the current. Gojo still hadn’t let go completely, fingers loose now around yours like he’d forgotten he was holding them in the first place.
You watched him for a second beneath the moonlight. Then, gently, carefully, you untangled your hands from his.
Gojo’s fingers twitched faintly at the loss of contact. A soft breeze moved through the trees overhead, stirring damp strands of white hair across his forehead where the water still clung.
Without really thinking about it, you lifted your hand again. Your fingers slid lightly into his hair.
You brushed the wet strands back from his face slowly, your nails barely grazing his scalp in the process. The motion exposed more of him to the moonlight: pale lashes, sharp cheekbones, the subtle tension sitting constantly around his eyes like exhaustion had settled there permanently.
You felt him inhale sharply, almost startled.
“Shoko said you haven’t been sleeping lately,” you murmured.
No response.
Your fingers continued absentmindedly through his hair, combing damp strands away from his forehead. Gojo’s gaze remained fixed entirely on you now, unfocused in a way that made something warm and dangerous curl low beneath your ribs.
“She said you’ve been taking extra missions too.” Your thumb brushed lightly near his temple. “Overworking yourself usually means one of two things with sorcerers—” Still nothing, not even a joke. “—Satoru.”
His throat moved once visibly.
You tilted your head slightly, watching with amusement.
“Are you even listening to me?”
Gojo stared at you for another long second before he shook his head. Honest enough that a quiet laugh escaped you before you could stop it.
The sound seemed to snap something loose in him slightly. Color had begun to creep faintly across the bridge of his nose and the tops of his cheeks, subtle beneath the moonlight but unmistakably there.
Gojo watched your expression shift as though he’d never seen it before. Maybe he hadn’t. Most people only ever saw curated versions of you; sharpened edges hidden beneath performance, every gesture calculated enough to keep genuine vulnerability at a safe distance.
“You know,” you said, amusement threading softly beneath the words, “you’re a lot easier to read without the glasses.”
Gojo groaned softly beneath his breath.
“Don’t worry, I’m not judging you.” Another soft laugh left you, warmer this time despite your sarcasm.
“No?” His gaze sharpened faintly despite the blush still lingering there. “Then what are you doing?”
“I think,” you offered softly, “I’m thanking you.”
You brushed damp strands away from his forehead again, carefully, smoothing them back into something almost neat. It changed his face slightly; softer around the edges, less untouchable.
"You still care about that thing?" His voice sounded rougher now.
There it was. You had been waiting for it: the retreat and sudden pivot toward safer ground. It would've been easier if he had stayed embarrassed. It would be easier if he'd made another joke. Instead, he reached for the one subject guaranteed to put distance back between you, the thing that kept pulling you away from him.
"Of course."
Something in his expression darkened. Because of course you did. Because almost dying hadn't changed anything. The same way being found never stopped you from running.
"Figures."
The word settled between you with surprising gentleness, simply resigned. As though some stubborn part of him had spent weeks hoping the answer might be different despite knowing exactly what it would be. So, the river carried the silence away before either of you could fill it. The water continued to move steadily around half-submerged stones, moonlight breaking apart across the current and reforming farther downstream.
You sat shoulder-to-shoulder along the embankment, close enough that the damp fabric of his sleeve occasionally brushed your own whenever either of you shifted. Eventually, Gojo bent one knee, resting an arm lazily across it.
"You know," he said, gaze fixed on the dark water ahead, "for someone who almost died, you're being really stubborn about this."
"I survived."
"Unfortunately."
You laughed quietly; the sound seemed to please him despite himself. Then, with a sigh that suggested Gojo was burdened by the incompetence of everything, one hand disappeared into his pocket. You barely paid attention until he reached for your hand.
Something cool and metallic settled into the center of your hand.
Your breath caught because the weight registered first. Then the shape, ancient silver links pooled against your palm like spilled moonlight, with a pendant resting among them, worn smooth by centuries of handling.
"...Satoru."
"Yeah?" He hummed.
Your fingers tightened around the necklace, the metal feeling heavier than it should have. Heavier than months of rumors. Heavier than dead ends. Heavier than the blood spilled searching for it.
"You found it?"
For the first time since you'd met him, he seemed to consider lying.
The thought crossed his face. Then another. You watched him discard each explanation before it reached his mouth. None of them survived inspection.
"I bought it." His shoulders lifted in a small shrug.
"...Why?"
This time, the silence lingered.
For a moment, you thought he wouldn't answer. Then his thumb brushed once over the worn silver chain still caught beneath your fingers, grounding you both in the present.
"...Because every time I found you," he said quietly, "there was another lead."
The river moved endlessly beside you. His gaze never left the water.
"...Another rumor." A faint breath of laughter escaped him, brittle around the edges. "...Another idiot who supposedly knew where it was."
Then, for the first time since he'd started speaking, he turned toward you.
Moonlight caught in the pale blue of his eyes, and for once, there was nowhere for him to hide. You could see the exhaustion beneath the easy smile, buried under years of pretending things weighed less than they did. You understood what he wasn't saying; if you kept chasing it, one day he would follow another lead and arrive too late.
"There." Gojo's hand remained over yours, warm against the chill of the night. "Now you have it."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
summary: robby tells you he wants to keep things casual after you catch him flirting with noelle. he's less enthusiastic when he finds out you've been seeing his best friend. (5k)
characters: michael robinavitch / fem!reader, jack abbot / fem!reader, trinity santos, dennis whitaker, mel king
contents: established relationship, friends with benefits, jealousy, mutual pining, angst, possessive!robby, allusions to smut
FIC #5 / 20 FOR 20
( NAVIGATION ) | ( MASTERLIST ) | ( AO3 )
You and Robby were not together. Not officially, and definitely not publicly. You were hardly together privately, if you were being real honest with yourself — aside from a few stolen nights after particularly draining shifts, where he’d show up at your place with takeout and exhaustion sitting heavy in his eyes and promises of distracting you from the hard day; where he’d then wake up before sunrise and leave before you had the chance to miss him.
Casual. That was the point. Because he was an attending, and you were his resident, and Robby had already made the mistake of blurring those lines once before. “It gets messy, sweetheart,” he murmured against your bare shoulder one night, voice heavy with sex and sleep alike. “And when it ends, it… It really fuckin’ ends, you know?”
You didn’t know what he meant by that, actually. You figured he was saying that dating within the hierarchy tends to crash and burn in some way or another, but you didn’t press him on the issue then. Though now you think that maybe you should’ve.
You should’ve told him to give this a name back then — whatever this thing was between you — because at least then you’d have a name for the feeling searing in your chest just now, as you’re forced to watch Robby flirt with Noelle on the other side of the workstation.
You’re examining the chart glowing from the iPad in your hands, trying hard to ignore the ache in your lower back and the fact that you haven’t eaten since six that morning, when the sound of Robby’s sudden laughter graces your ears — finding you despite the buzzing chatter of the crowded E.R.
You glance up automatically and find him leaning against the counter, with the sleeves of his undershirt pushed up to his elbows and his stethoscope looped lazily around his neck, towering several inches over Noelle.
“You’re getting less grumpy in your old age, Robinavitch,” the older woman quips beneath a quiet smile and the faint flush coating her caramel-colored cheeks. She arches a manicured brow in his direction, dark eyes glimmering beneath long lashes. “Something been improving your mood lately? Or some-one?”
Your palms go clammy around the tablet in your hand. You never wanted anyone to find out that you were dating your attending, but god, your heart stops beating just to hear your name fall from his lips.
Robby laughs instead, a sharp exhale from his nose.
“You always think you know everything,” he says with a shake of his head, though you can still hear the smile in his voice when he tells her, “I’m not sure your new boyfriend up in ortho would like you asking about my love life, Hastings…”
“Oh, I stopped seeing him ages ago,” Noelle scoffs. “He kept calling himself an alpha male unironically, and I— couldn’t take it anymore.”
Robby physically recoils. “Jeez… And here I thought your taste in men improved after me.”
Their laughter entwines and lingers in the air for several lingering moments. It’s more familiar than flirtatious, but your stomach twists with a sick feeling anyway. Because Noelle was, to put it simply, everything you weren’t. She was effortlessly gorgeous and carried all that confidence in her matching pant suits and pulled-back curls. She was much closer to Robby’s age, too, and their lengthy history is one you know you couldn’t compete with if you tried.
You feel a little like a child as you watch them talk in hushed voices. You flare with all the embarrassment of one, too, when Robby’s eyes lock suddenly with yours.
You turn away a beat too late, just in time to catch the look that flashes suddenly across his weathered features — as if he’d somehow been caught. You pretend not to notice, or otherwise care, when he dismisses himself from Noelle and closes the distance between you. He towers over you the same way he had with her, smelling like a mixture of his cologne and your bed sheets.
“Hey…” he says, all casual, stuffing his hands into his scrub pockets and nodding to the tablet in your hands. “You get that CBC back on Central Eight?”
“Yep,” you deadpan, still without looking at him.
He flinches slightly when you shove the chart suddenly at his chest with a less-than-gentle hand. His brows lower in confusion when you turn on your heel and walk away a second later, with considerably more ire than you had that morning. (‘Cause you’d been complaining about some mild insomnia for a while now, so Robby fucked you to sleep the night before. He figured you’d be in a better mood today accordingly. But alas.)
“So I take it you’re not helping with this endoscopy?” he calls after you, pulling his glasses from his shirt pocket for a better view of the screen in his hand.
“Nope,” you call back, already halfway down the hall — not as his resident, but as a woman halfway scorned.
Whitaker’s eyes dart back and forth like he’s watching a tennis match — between you, Robby, and the bloodied head wound he’s watching you stitch up with practiced hands. There’s a heavy tension he can feel simmering in the air, snatching all the remaining oxygen out of the room. Even from where he stands behind you, peering over Trinity’s shoulder, he feels hardly shielded from the building stress.
“Call ortho for a consult for me, will ya?” Robby asks you, or rather politely commands, without looking away from the chart in his hands.
You, similarly, don’t glance up from your sutures as you tell him, “You have a pair of free hands, don’t you, Dr. Robby?”
The man’s eyes dart to you in an instant, peering at you over the top of the glasses sitting low on his broad nose. His dark brown gaze glimmers with a mixture of amusement and shock as a faint smile flickers beneath his beard.
“Excuse me?”
“I’ll do it!” Whitaker blurts, half-strangled by the tension, as he rushes for the red phone across the room. It’s quite telling, the younger boy finds, that he’d rather suffer a call with Park the Shark than watch this lover’s quarrel unfold.
Robby squints as he takes a slow step towards you. His eyes flit from your deadpan face, to your gloved hands, to the balding head of the unconscious patient you stitch up.
“Have you eaten today?” he wonders aloud.
“Are you gonna ask if I need a nap next to?” you scoff. “I’m not a child.”
“Well, you’re kinda acting like one,” Robby says within a breathless chuckle. “So do you wanna maybe dial the attitude back a notch?”
“Sorry, Dr. Robby,” you say flatly, tying off the final stitch with sharp, methodical movements. “I’ll remember to stroke your ego next time— Maybe then you won’t accuse me of being a bitch.”
“I wasn’t—”
A laugh sputters suddenly from Santos’ mouth before she can help it. She hides it behind her fist when Robby glares at her and pretends to cough instead.
The tension between the two of you doesn’t snap until around the tenth hour of the shift, when you’re hiding from the chaos of the E.D. with the excuse of fetching more supplies from the walk-in closet. Robby enters like a dark cloud, mixing with your own storm, and threatening to create a most fatal concoction when he corners you against the shelf. (You hadn’t stopped moving for about four straight hours, to be fair — this was his only real chance of getting you alone.)
“What the hell is your problem today?” the older man says in lieu of a greeting.
You huff and roll your eyes, shoving at a pack of saline flushes a little harder than necessary when they threaten to fall from the shelf and on top of you. Robby watches with narrowed eyes and a pair of weathered hands splayed on his hip.
“Did I do something to you? ‘Cause you’ve been acting crazy all day—”
You slam the cabinet door shut with a resounding clang, so hard it refuses to latch,before spinning on your heels to face the man behind you. The glare you give him almost makes him flinch before he swallows down the instinct to.
“Crazy?” you echo through a tense jaw. “You flirt with Noelle all day, right in front of me, and now you’re calling me crazy?”
Robby blinks owlishly back at you for several long moments.
You almost think you see a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth beneath his mustache, before a chuckle sputters suddenly from his lips. You flinch at the intensity of his laughter, and at the distant mania glimmering in his dark eyes.
“Oh, my god—”
“Don’t laugh!” you exclaim, face burning under the weight of your embarrassment.
“—That’s what this is about?”
“Yes! It is. Because I thought I was enough for you.”
His weathered features soften with a heavy sigh, though traces of his amusement still remain — equal parts fond and exhausted.
“Oh, c’mon… You know this wasn’t supposed to be anything serious,” Robby croons gently, taking slow steps towards you. “That was the agreement, right? Casual. So we could avoid all… This.”
You peer up at the man from beneath your lashes when he plants himself in front of you. You try not to melt when you catch a whiff of his dizzying cologne. “This?” you echo.
“Yeah… You know, all the… jealousy and the— arguments,” he huffs with a lazy shrug and crosses his pale arms over his chest. “I’ve been through this before, kid. Trust me. This is… This is what’s best.”
Your chest sears with a mixture of red-hot anger and ice-cold jealousy. Your jaw tightens at how detached he sounds, how rational, as if he were discussing policies instead of real actual feelings. (If he was even capable of those). You want him to feel this, too — this awful, wretched jealousy clawing at your ribs from the inside out.
You fold your arms tightly across your chest, forcing your voice into a deadpan as hurt simmers somewhere beneath the words. “So I can see whoever I want?” you ask him.
Robby’s expression flickers slightly, almost imperceptibly. His adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows, but his dark gaze never once wavers from yours.
“Of course, you can,” he tells you, though his taut voice threatens to betray him. “We’re casual. That was the deal.”
“Okay,” you nod once and turn away from him again, giving him very little to play off of as he tries and fails to call your bluff.
Robby’s forced to stare at the back of you while you pull a large pack of lap pads from the shelf. His brows knit in confusion when you spin back around to face him, mostly back to normal again, with a ghost of a polite smile dancing the edges of your mouth.
“Run these to Trauma 1 for me, will ya? Dr. Al-Hashimi needs ‘em for a trauma patient coming in.”
You press the package to Robby’s chest before he can answer and walk past him for the exit before he can blink.
Three days after the fact, you’re sitting in a crowded bar a block away from the PTMC, drowning your post-shift sorrows in half-priced beers.
In those three days, you haven’t seen Robby once outside of work. There were no more stolen kisses in empty elevators, no more lingering touches in stairwells, no more “come over” texts sent in the dead of night. And Robby thought it was strange, because the two of you weren’t even fighting anymore — not technically, anyway — and yet you were more distant now than ever.
“Question,” the man murmured casually from the other side of the desk while you finished up your charting at the monitor. “Is it me you’re avoiding or just my apartment?”
“What?” you scoffed, still typing. “I’ve just been— busy, Robby.”
“Hm…” he sighed, less than convinced.
You didn’t spare him a second glance — not then and not when you took Santos’ offer of happy hour and Friday night karaoke. The girl herself returns now to the cracked pleather booth in the corner of the dingy bar, where you sit with Mel and Whitaker, after butchering another Alanis Morrissette song.
Her chest heaves with panted breaths under her black tank top, pale skin sticky with a thin layer of alcohol-induced sweat.
“Okay, what’s with the long faces over here?” Trinity jokes as she steals a room-temperature fry off your plate, talking through the mouthful. “I know you and Robby are fighting or whatever, but I just gave the performance of a lifetime up there.”
You slurp nosily at the remnants of your fruity drink and nearly choke on it at the accusation. “What?” you cough with the thin straw still in your mouth. “We aren’t— fighting. What are you talking about?”
“Oh, please,” Trinity scoffs and reaches for her beer. “You’re both been acting like a couple of… divorced parents at soccer practice.”
“Okay, I don’t even know what that means—”
“Playing nice in front of everyone as not to evoke suspicion, which inevitably turns the obvious tension between you from angry to sexually charged,” Mel rambles matter-of-factly. Her blonde hair sways around her jaw as she nods, left slightly crimped from her undone braid.
Your eyes flit to Whitaker then, who nods much more solemnly in agreement.
Your face burns red-hot in response. “Well— we’re not even, like, together or anything, so…”
“Mhm…” Santos hums with a knowing look that makes you shift uncomfortably in the booth. She takes another quick swig from the amber bottle in her hand before her gaze zeroes in on an unfortunate Whitaker. “C’mon, Huckleberry. You’re up.”
His light eyes widen, glassy with exhaustion and alcohol alike. “I’m… Up?”
“Yeah. You’re doing karaoke with me. Let’s go,” Trinity says as she slides once more off the weathered vinyl. She frowns when she rises and finds the boy still sitting in place. “Let’s go, I said! We gotta get back in line before the spots fill up—”
Whitaker scrambles to follow the girl towards the stage despite his better judgment. You use that as an excuse to get another drink, tugging the skirt of your dress further down your thighs as you go. You weave through the crowd of strangers and coworkers alike until you reach the sticky wooden counter.
You lean your elbows against it and flash the bartender a kinda smile. “Can I get another aperol spritz, please?”
“Put that on my tab,” a familiar voice says from beside you.
Your head whips to find Jack sitting there, one chair down and nursing a sweaty amber bottle of cheap beer in his pale hand. He looks more relaxed now than you think you’ve ever seen him — camo pants baggy around his legs, black t-shirt untucked from the belt, warm around the edges from the alcohol.
You feel very suddenly overdressed in your form-fitting velveteen number and cross your arms over your chest to hide beneath the loose cardigan you wear over top of it. “Oh, you don’t have to do that—”
“I insist,” the older man smiles. “You deserve it after that canthotomy you did today. You were a real trooper.”
The bartender slides a cocktail glass across the wooden surface over to you. The orange liquid threatens to slosh over the thin rim. You give him a polite grin in return. “Thank you,” you tell the man, then grow considerably shier when you turn back to the attending sitting a stool down from you. “Thanks, Dr. Abbot.”
“Jack,” the older man corrects before bringing the lip of his bottle back up to his mouth.
“Jack,” you echo softly.
The man shifts on the hard stool, keeping his prosthetic limb stretched slightly ahead of him beneath the bar. A not quite silence settles between you then, filled by the buzzing bar all around you. Your eyes cut to the stage on the far side of the room, where Santos belts the lyrics to “You Oughta Know” and Whitaker stumbles over himself to get the foreign words out.
“I think Shen is looking for a karaoke partner,” you quip, nodding your head towards the doctor standing by the stage and flipping through the binder of song choices there.
The dim overhead lighting turns Jack’s silver curls a softer golden shade when he turns his head to follow your gaze. He grimaces instantly at the thought. “Yeah, absolutely not.”
“Why?” you laugh softly, with the thin straw dancing against your mouth. “You scared?”
“Yes,” the man answers without a second thought. “And I’ve been shot at before— Today, even— And somehow karaoke still feels more terrifying.”
Your eyes squint in his direction, glittering with something foreign. “That’s a little dramatic, don’t ya think?”
“Eh. Maybe a little.”
You scoff and slide into the bar stool beside him. “You don’t strike me as someone who embarrasses easily, Dr. Abbot.”
“That’s because you only know me at work,” he quips halfway into his beer, before licking the amber sheen from his mouth. “Where I am equal parts competent and mysterious.”
“Mysterious?” you repeat skeptically.
“Mm,” Jack nods with narrowed eyes and a faint smile twitching the corner of his lip. “Very tortured, you know? Very brooding.”
“Ah, yes…” you sigh with alcohol glittering on your lips like gloss. “The very brooding, tortured doctor who makes dinosaur noises to win over scared children in pedes.”
Jack pauses mid-sip, pale eyes narrowing. “Well, this is new…” he hums.
Your stomach flips at the way he’s looking at you. Heat crawls instantly up your neck. You feel very suddenly suffocated by the heavy cardigan on your shoulders. “…What is?”
“I don’t know,” he answers with a lazy shrug, though his heavy eyes dart once down your form and up again. You don’t realize, until then, that this is his first time seeing you in anything other than your dark black scrubs. “You… Flirting with me.”
You exhale a breathy laugh, if only to dispel the anxiety clawing at your chest. “Flirting? Is that what this is?”
“Hey— You’re the one who called me mysterious.”
“Actually, I was clarifying if you thought you were mysterious.”
“Still counts.”
“Does it?” you squint.
Jack smirks behind the lip of the beer bottle against his mouth. His adam’s apple bobs with a short sip before he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “You know… For a while there, I thought you hated me… Considering you never talked to me unless you had to.”
“You work nights, Jack— I don’t talk to you because I see you for, maybe, twenty minutes out of my day,” you scoff, and don’t realize you’ve called him by his first name until his eyes glimmer with amusement. You turn away with a shake of your head as your face burns, bringing the straw back up to your mouth. “Though, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t consider it…”
“Oh, really?” Jack hums with raised brows. “What’s the verdict now, then, huh?”
You let your gaze drag over him deliberately as you ponder the question, biting at the straw between your teeth. You scan over his toned biceps, his lean stomach caged beneath his form-fitting tee, and his spread thighs that make your head spin, before meeting his eyes once more.
“Now,” you hum sweetly, “I think I’m starting to understand the appeal…”
Jack stares at you for a long moment before he lets out a low, disbelieving laugh. The lamplight shines in his greying curls as he shakes his head. “Yeah? And how does Robby feel about that?”
Your eyes harden in an instant.
Jack raises a free hand in surrender. “Hey, I’m just sayin’— He looks like he wants to put his fist through a wall any time another attending talks to you for more than thirty seconds.”
Your chest tightens unexpectedly. You swallow hard to fight the strangling feeling — of Robby, and of his laughter in the supply closet — as you shrug a lazy shoulder in response. You don’t bother to lift your cardigan when it slips softly down your arm.
“It’s casual,” you tell him.
Jack studies you for a long moment. The corner of his mouth curls into a slow half-smile, and you feel your heart stuttering behind your ribcage.
“Casual, huh?” he hums and brings his bottle back up to his mouth. “Interesting…”
Morning arrives slowly through the veiled curtains of the quiet bedroom, where pale golden light cuts softly over hardwood floors and rumpled sheets. You rouse gradually, cocooned beneath strangely heavy blankets that smell differently from your own back home — like unfamiliar detergent, cedarwood, and musky cologne.
For a blissful wink of a moment, you don’t remember where you are. Not until you stretch your tired limbs and brush a scruffy leg with your foot, anyway.
Your breath catches. Your heavy eyes snap open. Your body prickles with heat as flashes from the night before return to you at once — of the walk home from the bar, of Jack’s laugh against your throat, of his stubble scraping your skin, of the teasing murmur in his velvety voice as he told you to cum for him.
Your thighs clench together at the memory, while a lingering ache pulses pleasantly low in the pit of your stomach.
You lift your head from the pillow and inhale sharply through your nose as your eyes scan the foreign bedroom, which you had been too busy to do the night before.
There’s an expensive-looking record player in one corner, sat beside a crate of well-loved vinyls. There’s a bookshelf lining the far wall — cluttered with medical textbooks, old paperbacks, and framed photos from his military days. His camo bag, etched with his name, slouches by the entrance, and over the foot of the bed, you can see his prosthetic limb lying beside your shoes.
Other than that, it’s strikingly empty, with very little decoration on the wall or bedside tables. It makes sense, you figure, for a man who is working far more than he isn’t.
Your head turns in the opposite direction to find Jack sleeping soundly just beside you. The gentle rays of morning light brush over the canvas of his bare back, turning his freckles there a deeper shade of golden brown. He’s got one arm shoved beneath the pillow he folds into his cheek and the other lying loose across the mattress — from where your waist must’ve been before you slithered out from underneath it.
Your chest pinches at the sight of him. With pride, maybe, at having conquered him. And with a pang of white-hot guilt that twists when your mind inevitably drifts to Robby.
You slide out of bed, careful not to let the mattress give too much beneath your weight. You grimace when the fabric of your t-shirt twists uncomfortably around your form, only to find that you’re wearing Jack’s shirt, which had seemingly been given to you at some point last night. It falls over your thighs when you stand, bare feet padding as you gather your discarded clothes.
You bend down to drag your underwear back up your thighs and wince when your head throbs from last night’s cheap cocktails. With your dress and knit cardigan balled in your arm, you toe your shoes back on. Your breath hitches when the mattress shifts with a soft creak.
Jack squints when he raises his wild head. His mouth twitches when he finds you at the foot of the mattress. “Y’know…” he rasps, voice rough with sleep. “I’m at least grateful you’re not robbing me before sneaking out. That’s very courteous of you.”
“I’m not sneaking,” you scoff. “I just… didn’t want to wake you.”
The man inhales sharply as he twists onto his back, charcoal sheets tangling around his waist. You force yourself to look away from his lean stomach and the red claw marks you left on his scruffy chest when he stretches his toned arms above his head.
“That’s sweet,” he says with a wince. “But unfortunately, I wake up if somebody breathes wrong in the next room.”
You exhale a soft laugh.
Jack’s eyes soften around the edges at the sound of it. “You workin’ today?”
“Yep, in about…” Your eyes flit to the alarm clock on his nightstand. “Half an hour.”
“Brutal,” he scoffs.
“You’re fault.”
“Don’t say that like you didn’t have a good time,” he teases with narrowed eyes, then softens slightly when you turn away. You fumble with the stubborn back of your shoe, and his chest twists at your silence. “Do you… Do you regret it?”
“No,” you answer instantly.
“Good,” he hums, relaxing visibly once more into the sheets. “Me neither.”
Your stomach blooms with warmth. You shift awkwardly on your feet before him, even still. “So, uh… What— What now?”
“Well, feel free to use my shower, if you want—”
“I’m serious, Jack,” you insist gently, then add, more sheepishly. “But I will be using your shower, actually, thank you…”
Jack inhales deeply, considering. “Well,” he starts carefully, “I like you. Obviously.”
Your pulse rushes like a teenage girl.
“But,” he continues, as relief and disappointment tangle in your chest all at once. “I also know that neither of us is in the right spot for a relationship right now…”
“So… Casual?” you offer lightly, mouth lifted in a tired smile.
“Casual,” Jack agrees with a firm nod and glassy eyes.
You wear the night before all over, despite your desperate attempts to hide it.
Robby notices it the moment he sees you — how relaxed you are, how happy you seem to be. Whatever had been plaguing you before is now long gone, and that alone should be enough to comfort him. But still, he can’t shake the feeling that someone had gotten rid of all the aching for you — fucked it out of you the way only he could.
“You’re in a good mood today,” he observes while signing off on the chart you’d given him.
“Am I?” you hum.
“Yeah,” he nods, clicking his pen with his thumb. He glances at you over the top of his glasses before averting his gaze once more. “What’d you get up to last night, huh?”
“Nothing,” you shrug. “Other than watching Santos butcher Alanis Morrissette’s discography at karaoke… Maybe I just slept well.”
“You usually only do that at my place.”
Your brows furrow when he passes the clipboard back to you. “I’m sorry— Are you accusing me of something, Dr. Robby?”
His mouth opens to respond — to tell you that he can smell the foreign body wash on your skin, far muskier than the delicate sweet-vanilla he’s used to. But the automatic doors across the station swish open and shut before he can.
Jack enters with his camo pack slung over his shoulder and brings a cool evening breeze in with him. Robby can’t help but notice how your eyes find each other’s almost instantly, clicking like magnets and lingering together like there’s a secret that only the two of you know about. His stomach swirls with jealousy.
“Look alive, degenerates,” Jack announces in lieu of a greeting, then quiets slightly when he reaches your side. “What’d I miss?”
“I was just briefing Robby on last night at karaoke,” you answer with a polite smile. “And how I will never be able to listen to Alanis Morissette after Santos’ crimes last night—”
“Fuuuck you,” Trinity drags out from the desk beside you, still sluggish from the long day and the hangover that won’t seem to leave her.
“Don’t drag me into this,” Jack quips. “I took an oath as a physician to do no harm.”
You exhale a quiet laugh. The man’s eyes soften around the edges, as though pleased at having earned the sound, before walking off towards the locker room. He leaves a trail of musky cedarwood as he goes, and Robby’s heart drops when he finally places the scent — the one he’s been smelling on you all day.
The realization hit him like a truck.
His expression darkens instantly when he turns back to you.
“Supply closet,” he mutters lowly as he walks past you. “Now.”
Your stomach drops at his tone. He takes all the remaining breath from your lungs with him as he goes. Your chest stings accordingly — with a surge of pride at his jealousy, and with a pang of distant regret at his hurt. You follow behind him down the long hallway to the supply closet like a scolded child. He barely waits for the door to click shut behind him before rounding on you.
“You slept with him?” he shouts, eyes wide and wild.
You cross your arms tight over your chest, with your head tilted inquisitively to your shoulder. “Aren’t you the one who said I could see whoever I want?”
“Yeah, I meant random assholes at the bar,” he snaps. “Not my best fucking friend!”
An incredulous laugh sputters from your lips. “Oh, so now we have rules? What happened to just being casual, huh? If you can flirt with your coworkers, why can’t I?”
Robby’s dark eyes narrow as he takes a slow step towards you. You catch a faint upward flicker of his mouth as he asks, “So that’s why you did it, huh? You just wanted to piss me off?”
Your anger spikes instantly. You feel it prickling red-hot beneath your scrubs. Because he’s an arrogant asshole, maybe, or maybe because a distant part of you knows that he’s right.
“No, actually,” you tell him anyway. “Because not everything’s about you, Robby. I did it because Jack wanted me. Because he didn’t treat me like I was just another one of his dirty secrets—”
“Yeah, alright,” Robby scoffs a breathy laugh and turns away, running a pale hand through his chopped brown hair.
“Because being with him made me feel good—”
“I said alright!”
“Aw, what’s wrong, Robby?” you coo, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Does it bother you that somebody else wanted me?”
Robby exhales another one of his stupid laughs.
Your chest swells with a burning feeling that makes you feel like crying. “Why is it so hard to admit that you care about me?”
“I care about you! Of course, I fucking care about you!” he exclaims, red in the face. “Because I’ve spent months trying not to screw this up.”
“Oh, please,” you roll your eyes. “Says the man who practically shoved me into someone else’s bed.”
“Oh, don’t do that,” Robby squints.
“Do what?”
“Act like this is what I wanted—”
The words die in his throat when the silver knob to the closet door clicks suddenly behind him. The hinges open with a quiet squeak a second later. Your heads whip in sync to find Santos in the threshold, rubbing at her tired eyes as she steps into the room. She doesn’t realize the two of you are in there until the door shuts behind her again.
Her wide eyes dart back and forth between the two of you for a moment. “…Why does it feel like I just walked into a hostage situation?” she quips in a monotone.
“Now you know how I felt last night,” you joke back weakly.
She flips you off and walks further inside. Neither of you says a word as she retrieves a case of saline flushes and four-by-fours from the shelves. The plastic crinkles loudly in the silence.
“Please. Feel free to continue,” Santos deadpans as she leaves. “I definitely won’t be listening with my ear pressed against the door.”
The entrance shuts behind her with a dull click that sounds much louder in the quiet. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as Robby pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger. When he lifts his head against, his eyes zero in on you.
“We’ll finish this when we get home,” he tells you, firmly.
“Can’t tonight,” you shrug, lying through your teeth. “I have plans.”
“Yeah, not anymore, you don’t.”
Your stomach does a back flip at his words, at his very sudden act of dominance that makes you feel like melting into a puddle at his feet. And judging by the newfound glint in Robby’s dark eyes, he notices it, too.
2087
prguitarman
dailybridgerton
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
janainaart
andulkaphoto
izzy806
