DINOSAUR ?@#!

anyway most, if not all, of susie’s threats are empty. she hasn’t really directly hit anyone. sure she’s threatened people and hoisted them up, and this isn’t to justify her actions because they weren’t that bad. regardless of their weight, she’s still a bully, but i wanted to point out that she’s never really beaten anyone up according what her peers state.

susie likes to see herself as a bad girl. a monster. not because she finds pleasure in it, not because she wants to seem more superior, but because people shove her into the idea of a monster. ( not in the literal sense, but rather in the metaphorical ‘ terrible person ‘ )  she hates being portrayed as a bad person, but that’s what she’s been shoved in for too long that she feels like she’s obliged to stay there.

she hates this gist wherein people think bad people are cool, which is why she was so confused as to why lancer wanted to be scary like her. all her life she was feared, intimidated and despised for that trait that she was hated by most people. she couldn’t be kind because even if she did she’d feel like she wasn’t playing the role she’s supposed to be playing. truthfully, she doesn’t really want to ! susie isn’t entirely a bad person- she’s just mislead and lost for most part. she never grew up with friends-- hell, she doesn’t have friends to lead her to a good path.

that’s why meeting with lancer was such an important pace for her. lancer made her feel like she wasn’t such a bad guy after all!