Awokecitation

if you’re a sugar daddy and you ask your sugar baby to send you money as a ‘verification’ you’re a trash ass person and a clear scammer, next.

hi guys! i am a new sugar baby and i was wondering if other sugar babies could give me some tips, anything would be helpful!

alright, screw it i’ll read rodrick heffley fan fiction.

this social distancing has me reading Spencer Reid and Kylo Ren fan fiction and giving me unrealistic expectations for men, help

I always make jokes about my FBI agent watching me through my phone, but lately i’ve been noticing a lot of weird things happening on my phone. For example, if i talk about one little thing, like could literally be something small like an old tv show that doesn’t really get ads, especially ads being advertised on instagram? I’ll get an ad for that tv show that hasn’t been aired in 5 years, and that’s not even the weird part! A couple of weeks ago i was talking to my mom about how the ad thing started happening and i joked around that my ‘FBI agent’ was stalking me, and right after i said that my phone randomly shut off, i have an IPhone 8+ and it has never shut off like that. So if i die, it was my FBI agent, please don’t kill me:( Xoxo, dumb bitch. Ps. hope you’re as hot and smart as Spencer Reid!

the simulation has been broken ever since apple downloaded that U2 album onto everyone’s phone

hey fbi agent who’s watching me through my camera, i’m sorry the government is shut down i miss you:(

why the fuck i smell like elmer’s glue