awkWORKness

Text from coworker:

On things you are missing in the office, came in to Sheryl doing a full blowout and full face before 9AM. All to take a selfie for a guy she met who doesn't speak much english but is a "cutie."

Coworker 1: “I love Erotica."

EMAIL SENT TO ALL STAFF REGARDING MISSING SHOES...no typos were corrected to protect the ridiculousness.

Hello All,

Visual guide sent in response to the [company name removed] policy regarding shorts in the workplace this summer. 

Approved vs. Not Approved 

- All submitted by one person over the course of 2 months -

Excuse 1: My mother was bit by a spider.

Excuse 2: My mother has to have surgery on her spider bite.

Excuse 3: While my mother is in surgery for her spider bite, I’m having new doors installed in our house so I won’t be able to call in to the meeting. It’s too noisy.

Excuse 4: I’ve got a summer cold.

Excuse 5: Had some tech difficulties with Verizon pop up over night that I need to be home for to meet the tech today but am online now until 2 if you need me! [when asked why only until 2]: I had my computer open an 6am.

Excuse 6: The train was late, so I just turned around and went home.

Excuse 7: A car in front of me kicked up a traffic cone and broke my review mirror.

Excuse 8: I have to go to the junk yard to replace the mirror that was hit by the cone.

Excuse 9: “To start the week off perfectly, I slept right through my alarm on my new phone this AM. I didn’t just wake up but def forgot to send a note through earlier. Am online if you need me. #SMH #Turnupthevolume”

Excuse 10: home today