neighbourhood cranky-kind witch 🧚🏼‍♀️

y'all need to relearn the word erratic and stop using schizophrenic/bipolar/psychotic as a replacement

y'all need to relearn the word particular and stop using ocd as a replacement

People need to relearn the word "egocentric" and stop using narcissist/narc as a replacement.

People need to relearn the word "impulse" and stop using "intrusive thought" as a replacement

This is so sweet! When I started reading it I thought you were gonna use the bench statue to look at people's crotches.

Some people are 100% gonna flash their tits or bits at it but everything's allowed for as long as nobody gets hurt and the cops won't catch you.

I'm not a "will help, no questions asked" kind of friend. Because I will ask questions. I'm just not gonna question your answers. Like yeah if we're friends I can help you get rid of a body, no problem, but I still want to know who it was and what happened. Not because I don't trust that you'd kill someone who didn't need killing or would help someone you shouldn't be helping - we wouldn't be friends in the first place if I didn't know you well enough to trust your judgement. I'm just curious as hell and I want to know things.

I love how this implies you chose your friends by their ability to kill right people.

I mean I'm like 95% sure that none of them would ever kill someone on purpose, or by accident by casually endangering people, so if one of them called me in the middle of the night like "hey I sent you my location I've got a problem I can't talk about on the phone", I'd know for sure that this was either an absurdly unlikely freak accident where they could not have done anything to avoid it, and also I trust that they have a very good reason to be calling me to come help out instead of turning themselves in, or then this person they just killed was someone awful enough that it would have been morally unforgivable to let them live.

not my circus however the monkeys appear to be holding me hostage

I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-

everyone deserves a lifechanging lesbian experience. not a woman? simply have a lifechanging experience with a lesbian. im thinking a noble quest or hiding a body together or something.

It's almost laughable what the internet and very young queer people have done to the words butch and especially femme. I think I could go on for hours and hours on how important that little yet huge letter "e" is at the end of the word. People have turned this special term into something so superficial and tedious. To them "femme" simply means hyperfeminine. It's sweet, pink, docile, delicate, soft, submissive. Which of course, certain femmes actually do identity with those words but little do these people know or understand is that to be femme is to be just as hard and aggressive as what they see being butch is. It's in gesture, in stature, in autonomy, in courage, in love that is so deep and true for other butches and fellow femme sisters. Femme is something inherently erotic and so sensual. Our history literally shows that femmes used their physical privilege to protect and stand up for butches, femmes were the ones who would go out and work due to the fact that people would not hire such masculine presenting women. In conclusion, to be femme is to be beautiful and lovely but it's also to use your fucking voice and know who and what came before us.

I have a confession to make... I thought the idea of wireless headphones like air pods were so so stupid when they first came out. But having owned wireless headphone pods with a case I have to admit that I do enjoy them quite a lot. But we should still eat the spleen of every person who lobbied to phase out the headphone jack in electronics