Everything I Guess

I will face God and walk backwards into Hell

“I’ll do whatever you want” “then perish”

I have been through hell and come out singing

Do I look like the kind of man who dies

God’s dead and soon we will be too

This is hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods

Me:

- soft

- nice hugs

- thigh pillows??? Tiddy pillows??

Cons of chubby gf

- none

Pros of skinny gf

- fits in ur arms rly nicely

- ur hoodies are too big on her which is beautiful

Cons of skinny gf

- none

Pros of muscled gf

- abs?? Biceps??? Please???

- strong gf pick me up pls

- most likely works out a lot which is hot

Cons of muscled gf

-she can reach everything

-she can wear those gorgeous and long swooshy dresses without drowning in the fabric

-she still rocks heels, I mean, hello??? Tall girls in heels??? Yes??? PLEASE?

- can curb stomp facist easily

Cons of a tall gf

-none, you’re just cowardly

Pros of a short gf

- I can give her piggyback rides

- she short which means I can pick her up randomly

- she’s got a better angle for throat punching facist

- great at stealing my clothes and wearing em

Cons of a short gf

- none

Pros of a disabled gf

- she’s still her own independent person

- she’s intelligent, often times having some of the most profound things to say that people often ignore because they’re stupid

-she’s got a unique lifestyle that’s gonna be best for her and she’s gonna live life as much as she can as comfortably as she can

-stronger than any US marine

-hates fascist

Cons of a disabled gf

-She stims when she’s happy

-She tells you about her special interests

-She’s super knowledgeable about her favorite topics

Cons of an autistic gf

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live 

most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person 

A game that is marketed as your standard fishing game and for the first 20 minutes or so you catch normal fish like bluegill and bass and what have you. But the further you go into the lake you start to catch fish with mutations and it gets more and more intense until you’re pulling in Eldritch horror monsters and sometimes severed human limbs. You realize you don’t recall how you got to this lake in the first place and the objective becomes to find your way back to shore. You have no real weapons but you can throw the creatures you’ve caught far away from the boat as a means to distract whatever is underneath you, bumping into the boat sometimes. Additional items for the game.

A fishing pole with a radar that starts out with just beeps but later includes noises with hidden messages.

A GPS that displays texts and story elements.

You meet other boaters, all from various backgrounds, countries, and time periods. Some are friendly, others want to sacrifice you to the lake monsters.

You can also take the route of sacrificing others to the lake monster.

Or you can assemble a party and work to keep them safe.

The more fucked up looking the fish you catch, the closer you’re getting to a boss fight, which is usually running from something you can only see part of in the water.

????

It never stops being a fishing game. You are always fishing and searching for new areas where there is more activity in order to progress the story.

Depending on the choices you make and the amount of mutant fish you consume, you may start to mutate yourself. The fishing pole is part of your arm, you don’t notice it until later. If you consume mostly non-mutated fish and don’t sacrifice to the monsters you can keep the mutations to a minimum.

You can go full mutant and the boat becomes part of your body as well. This makes the monsters pay less attention to you, but you can no longer befriend or trade items with humans. You can still catch human remains and most of them are carrying items.

If you stay mostly human you can work to gather as many surviving humans as you find and assemble a fleet. The possibility of one of them turning on you always stands.

If you’re mutant you gain the ability to capsize yourself and view things under water. This is how you find ultimate monster.

If you’re human you can explore small abandoned docks and islands. These are where you find portals leading to different time periods and countries. You deliver members of your party to these. Only the person who originally belongs there can go through it.

Possible end game situations.

You find the portal leading back to your world, where you wake up on the river bank. You can catch normal fish before going home, making sure they are all free of mutations (they might not be.)

You join the monster, eventually overtaking it. You gain the ability to open time portals near water. You use lures to draw in humans.