Plz Follow The Art Blog, Not This One

Calls himself “mostly straight”. Wore a shirt that says “OPENLY GRAY” (he has gray hair)

Saw a photo from him in like 2010 wearing a pro trans rights shirt

Very passionate about the “you can’t tattoo dark skin” argument in that it’s “a fuckin’ skill issue”

We’re allowed to kick anyone out of the shop for being an asshole

Staunchly against tattoo machismo and the shop is about to be a 2:1 ratio of women to men. Which he’s overjoyed about

Moshes in the middle of the shop. To the B-52’s

Constantly sneak attacked by one of our artists with a spray bottle who is half his age (and height)

Returned later with a video of a squirt gun hooked up to a power washer and told them “you don’t want this smoke”

Said yes to a kink tattoo requested by a gay bear and his sub

Says gay bars are his favorite bars

Constantly talks about his wife and how smart she is

Smoked a bowl before sitting down to give me an art critique. Is amazing at it

Huge Fallout and Elder Scrolls nerd

Gave me $400+ worth of Frazetta art books from the 1980’s bc we’re both huge fans

Showed me his mugshot

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

I always thought that, after the reveal, a situation where, instead of Fenton becoming cool, phantom becomes lame, would be funny