My mind is corrupt.

You know what sucks? Trying so hard to be good enough for the people around you. Wearing yourself down just to make those people proud–happy. And that sucks, because you’re not even doing it for yourself anymore. You’re doing it for them, and that’s just not fair.

Sometimes it’s hard to force a smile or a laugh when nothing’s right. It’s hard because in that moment, you’ve shut down. Your mind is trying to block everyone out and then you start to not pay attention. Your mind is focusing on other things and while you’re trying to laugh, you can’t because in that moment everything inside of you is going against you.

Bad things don’t have to be happening in your life for you to be depressed. Sometimes we just can’t control the awful thoughts our mind creates.

No one cares if I cry at 2am wishing to die.

Its so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That’s above and beyond everything else, and it’s not a mental complaint-it’s a physical thing, like it’s physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. They don’t come out smooth and in conjunction with your brain the way normal people’s words do; they come out in chunks as if from a crushed-ice dispenser; you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.