╰ ○ lonely avarice ○ ╮

“He loves me, he loves me not… oh.”

“She loves me, she loves me not… oh.”

“I don’t think it’s love…”

“So, is there anyone you’re secretly crushing on?”

“I don’t even like chocolate.”

“Yeah, nothing says ‘I love you’ more than a bouquet that’ll die in two days…”

“I’m not sure if they’re a secret admirer or a stalker… but at least they have good taste in gifts.”

“Oh! It’s my favourite time of year.”

“If I send a mass text to all the people I like, I don’t need to get all of them gifts do I?”

“I’ve never had a Valentine.”

“Will you be my Valentine?”

“Do you have a Valentine yet?”

“No one ever serenades me any more.”

“Just don’t write a song and play it in front of everyone again… it’s embarrassing.”

“Any secret admirers?”

“Oh, so you’re my secret admirer?”

“I may have been admiring you not so secretly.”

“Just because you like me doesn’t mean the feeling is mutual.”

“Seeing as we’ve both not got anyone, do you want to come to mine and watch a film?

"We’re never getting back together.”

“So, he got me a teddy bear, but we fought and he tore off it’s head.”

“How about instead of being ridiculous on one day of the year, you just be a decent partner for the other 364 days?!”

“We’re not together any more.”

“If you haven’t booked a table we definitely won’t get to eat there on such short notice.”

“It’s just Valentine’s day… I don’t see the big deal.”

“What do you mean you didn’t get me anything?”

“I’m feeling sick, is it okay if we arrange our date for another night?”

“I’m not sure if they’re a secret admirer or a stalker….”

“Well… they don’t know I’m going out with you so we’re going to have a girls night sitting in and cry about being single…”

“I’ve got the lube and strawberries, we’re all set!”

“I got out the whipped cream and she slammed the door in my face.”

“I am not wearing that.”

“When he said he would give me a pearl necklace, I thought I was getting actual jewelry.”

“It would have been a lot more romantic if you de-thorned the rose before you put it in your mouth…”

“I’m all for dressing up… but, how do you wear this?”

“If I see another couple holding hands, I’ll… I’ll-”

“Young love, isn’t it sweet?”

“Who did you get all these roses for?”

“I don’t love you, I’m just here for the chocolate.”

“So, let me get this right, you want me to be a stand in to make the person you like jealous?”

“Valentines? Pft!”

“That’s the least romantic thing anyone has ever said to me…”

“What are you doing? Why are you on one knee? Get up! Get up!”

“My mum gave me a rose because she felt sorry for me.”

“Look, you can buy me all the chocolates in the world, I still won’t go out with you.”

“You’re not what I was expecting.”

“I’m not going through with this and you can’t make me.”

“Look, I’m not any happier about this than you are, but why don’t we try and make this work.”

“We don’t have to be in love, but maybe we could be friends.”

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting someone who looked like you do.”

“Arranged marriages are weird. All your life you’re told not to talk to strangers and then you’re asked to sleep with one.”

“I can sleep on the couch if you prefer.”

“How am I supposed to live with them when I love someone else?”

“You’re making me marry THEM?”

“Don’t you touch me.”

“It’s my parents. They’ve arranged me to marry someone else.”

“So how much was my life worth to you?”

“Uh… I know we don’t really have a choice, but will you marry me?”

“Why don’t we go pick out a ring together?”

“This doesn’t have to be forever. If it doesn’t work out we can always get a divorce.”

“Listen, my parents paid for you. You’re my property now.”

“Let’s start simple. What’s your favorite color?”

“The only reason I need you is make sure that my bloodline has an heir.”