He begins to chew on the tip of his nail, and looks away, trying his best to make sense of things, of himself, and most of all Jongdae. To say that Joonmyun is surprised when the sound of a slammed door doesn’t come would be a masterpiece of understatement.
Why hasn’t he slammed the door yet? He wonders as he tries to think of something cogent to say other than don’t you still want me? His pride won’t let him say something so simple, but abject stubbornness won’t let him to turn tail and leave, either.
"It’s never too late for regrets," Joonmyun chooses to instead to address the previous statements later when he’s had more time to think. He strongly dislikes being unable to answer any of Jongdae’s questions and it makes his head sway dangerously, “s-so no, I don’t think.”
He considers going inside for a moment, but it could potentially send him back to where he was a year ago— wide awake in the middle of the night, watching his boyfriend sleep peacefully as he tried to shake a wave of bitter uncertainty. He had failed which lead him to do what he always did when feeling uncertain— he left.
Joonmyun shakes his head to clear away thoughts of the past, he realizes that Jongdae is waiting for an answer, or an action, something— anything. He takes a deep breath, takes a step into the apartment, and then trips over the threshold. He instinctively grabs onto Jongdae’s arms to keep from falling over altogether.
"Sorry about that— I’ve probably had one too many." He says after he lets go of Jongdae. Joonmyun muffles a laugh with the back of his hand. It’s funny that even after all this time, especially after Jongdae’s nagging about said step, he still forgets that he’s supposed to take a step up and over the threshold. "but I guess some things never change."
Joonmyun hesitates, unsure if he should say the next few words, but he speaks up anyway, “Merry Christmas Eve, Jongdae.”
