JUST A KID

*  A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF THE SHOW, CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .

❝ The next time I see you I’d like you to be wearing a necktie. ❞

❝ Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together. Now. ❞

❝ I see what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna work.. ❞

❝ Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me. ❞

❝ God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever. ❞

❝ Giving him a name makes him human. ❞

❝ I’m fairly certain you would be caught. ❞

❝ What’s the most valuable thing in your office? ❞

❝ You mean my job as an amazing detective/genius? ❞

❝ Did you tell her we slept together twice? ❞

❝ I’m not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit. ❞

❝ I’d wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing. ❞

❝ You’re going to leave my precinct and my task force alone. ❞

❝ Come on, who wants to take this seriously? ❞

❝ I bet she tucked herself in the bed too tight and got stuck.  ❞

❝ Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!  ❞

❝ Oh, is he sore from high-fiving criminals he’s gotten out of jail? ❞

❝ Did he get a murderer off who then murdered him to celebrate? ❞

❝ A cop and a defense attorney sleeping together? That’s highly unusual. ❞

❝ It’s a personal matter, involving a personal friend and his personal uncle. ❞

❝ So you remembered to turn off your signature, right? ❞

❝ I promise you, as soon as they tell me, you’ll be the first to know. ❞

❝ You won. Go ahead and gloat, you toad. ❞

❝ Look, I promise I won’t tell anyone, alright? My lips are sealed! ❞

❝ This is a secret. Do you understand me? ❞

❝ You do know what they do to witches up there, don’t you? ❞ 

❝ Well, I think we handled that with dignity. ❞

❝ Are you making fun of my stutter? ❞

❝ Oh. Uh… Sorry. I think I’m feeling a little awkward. ❞

❝ How do we make it not weird? ❞

❝ I just realized I’m never gonna be able to say that to his face. ❞

❝ You know I’ve made a lot of improvements since you left? ❞

❝ I know we just met, and I don’t wanna be too forward… ❞

❝ I’ve got that feeling about you. I like you. I think tonight we- ❞

❝ They just gave me ten years in prison.. ❞

❝ You can’t do anything except disobey orders and screw up! ❞

❝ Why are you dressed up? You look like an idiot. ❞

❝ What’s up? How can I help? ❞

❝ Well, we’ll just break you down to nothin’ and see what time it is. ❞

❝ Speaking of which, I’m getting hungry. What’s for dinner? ❞

❝ Why do people like these things? They’re just shiny rocks. ❞

❝ We’re gonna talk to a lawyer and get a professional opinion. ❞

❝ Looks good! Can barely tell you hulked out in here. ❞

❝ I just threw a bunch of popcorn on the floor. It wasn’t that hard. ❞

❝ All I did was be the only person who believes in you. ❞

❝ Somebody’s tryin’ to kill me, and I need protection. ❞

❝ I can smoke as much weed as I want. ❞

❝ It’s this kind of bickering that makes us such an adorable couple. ❞

❝ I saw an opening and I had to take it. ❞

❝ But this isn’t over! I will hunt you to the ends of the earth! ❞

❝ What?! But we saw him throw them in the garbage! ❞

❝ Nobody’s ever gonna see that footage; the case was cut and dry. ❞

❝ It’s not like I’m dying to tell anyone I saw your- ❞

❝ I’m dating my son-of-a-bitch ex-husband; who am I to judge? ❞

❝ I’ll let you guys talk! I’ll just close my eyes. ❞

❝ I’ll let you give me a spray tan! Any shade you want! ❞

❝ Massage! I’ll give you a massage! ❞

❝ I’ll also give you full control over my hair and wardrobe. ❞

❝ That really freaked me out and I just want this to end now. ❞

❝ The cheese is amazing. It melts in my mouth. And in my hands! ❞

❝ Come on, you can be honest. ❞

❝ I want old, expensive books. I’ll send you a list. ❞

❝ The tow truck just got here, so that’ll buy us at least an hour. ❞

❝ Tow truck?! What the hell’d you do to my car?! ❞

❝ What we need in here is an armored personnel carrier. A tank! ❞

❝ Well, I’m gonna go follow up on a lead right now. ❞

❝ Woah, no! What’re those morons doing in there?!  ❞

❝ Why is everyone just standing around? Get back to work! ❞

❝ What’d you do? What’d you say? ❞

❝ I hear you can smuggle in crap from outside. ❞

❝ What’re you lookin’ at? You got a problem? ❞

❝ I like you. You got balls.. ❞

❝ I hate to rub it in, detectives, but I told you they’d find me. ❞

❝ Well, he keeps yelling, “Disability for life!” so I think he’s fine. ❞

❝ Who hired you? Who do you work for, pizza man?! ❞

❝ You look out there and see a problem, I look out there and see an opportunity. ❞

❝ What have I become? Was this whole thing even worth it? ❞

❝ All because we shut down a foot massage place. ❞    

❝ Oh, my God. The City has no mayor now. ❞    

❝ Put your magical hands where I can see them! ❞    

❝ Did they make their bust? Did they save the precinct? ❞  

❝ I was behind the bar the whole time. ❞    

❝ I bet they have some awesome name for it. ❞    

❝ Can a paring knife remove a human heart in under a minute? ❞    

❝ I think you guys might be our best option at finding this guy again. ❞    

❝ You know, a bunch of us are going out drinking tonight. ❞    

❝ How did you get over there? Who are they? ❞    

❝ I’ve been calling you. Why won’t you answer your phone? ❞    

❝ We’ve been onto you for weeks, and we finally got you. ❞    

❝ I’ve never seen them before! What is going on? ❞    

❝ We’re on the money trail, and we just found a new lead.  ❞    

❝ Okay, this is bad. This is really bad.  ❞    

❝ Wait… What? Did you say “eat people”? Are you a cannibal, [ Name ]? ❞    

❝ I’m always gonna be one step ahead of you. ❞  

feel free to change pronouns if needed ! ____ signifies a place where you can insert a name.

“i’m afraid.”

“did you hear that?”

“be still, be quiet.”

“do you see what they did to me?”

“come out, come out from wherever you are.”

“there’s nowhere to hide.”

“you can trust me ‘till the end.”

“save me!”

“it’ll only hurt a second.”

“there’s nothing to fear.”

“c’mon, we need to find a way out of here.”

“there’s no escape.”

“by the time anyone finds you, it’ll be too late.”

“i’ll protect you.”

“stay close, i’ll protect you.”

“did you really think you could escape?”

“well, well, what do we have here?”

“don’t close your eyes, stay with me!”

“don’t touch me!”

“please get away from me.”

“it’s so cute how you’re trying to fight back.”

“you’re gonna be okay.”

“stop moving so much.”

“ i got you. it’s gonna be okay, you’re going to be okay.”

“i feel like everyone’s miles away from me.”

“my mind is a dark place. you don’t want to be there.”

“i know this hurts, but you have to stay awake.”

“don’t close your eyes, please don’t close your eyes!”

“i just want to be numb, i don’t want to feel anything.”

“please don’t do this, don’t act like you care.”

“you don’t care, nobody cares, just leave.”

“you’re my friend, of course i fucking care.”

“i can’t give up on you, so please don’t give up on yourself.”

“i love you so much, i forgot what hating myself felt like.”

“i fucked up, why do you not care?”

“i can’t walk, just go on without me.”

“you have broken ribs, take it easy.”

“i have no idea how to do cpr.”

“whose blood is that?”

“apply pressure to the wound, don’t let go.”

“don’t you dare fucking let go!” 

“what the hell happened to you?” 

“are they dead? did you kill them?” 

“do you know what you’ve done?” 

“you’re either with me or against me.” 

“who the hell did this to you?” 

“are you alright? you hit your head pretty hard…” 

“i can’t see!! what’s happening to me?” 

“when was the last time you ate?” 

“what do you mean you’re fine? you are not fine!” 

 “i’m fine, it’s just a flesh wound, i’ll be okay.” 

“for how long? how long were you bottling this up?“ 

“there’s so much blood, you won’t last.” 

“are you… throwing up in there?” 

“why aren’t you eating?” 

“just breathe… you’re okay, i promise, just breathe.” 

“i can’t breathe, i can’t –” 

“i woke up, & you were gone.” 

“just tell me something, was it really worth it?” 

BYE, MR. CRIMINAL !