autisticality

Autistic cognitive differences are often some of the least discussed traits. They tend to be fairly ‘internal’, and so their effects are not always obvious from the outside. In spite of this, they can be just as significant as any of the more familiar and stereotypical traits, and cognitive needs can’t be ignored when planning accessibility. Cognitive needs are perhaps the most important to address in advance of an event. Some of these things have to be considered long before the event in order to have any use. Without them, many autistic people will just silently not attend your event – you won’t even realise you’ve made it inaccessible, because they couldn’t get as far as attending and finding it difficult. But these are also possibly some of the easiest needs to meet, with a little consideration!

Originally written for the Huffington Post Blog. Blaming trans identities on autism like this is directly harmful in many ways. Not just to autistic transgender people, but to other autistic people, other trans people, and to those who are neither.

It sounds weird to say, because time doesn’t feel like something that you sense. Time just happens, and I know that. There’s a certain number of minutes in an hour, hours in a day, days in a year, and so on. I know all of that, rationally. But I know it in the same way that I know the earth is rotating. I know it, but I don’t feel it. And so, in the same way as a scientist keeping track of the earth’s rotation through calculations and measurement, I have to outsource my sense of time in order to understand it.

I’ve been talking to a few of people about mental health care on the NHS, and how difficult it can be to get the right treatment. After I told the story of my experiences, a couple suggested I write it somewhere permanent because it could be useful as a guide – so here it is!

This isn’t a set of diagnostic criteria, because I don’t know how to diagnose autism. It’s my best attempt at an inclusive, accurate, useful, and value-neutral, description of autistic traits and autistic people. The point is to include the widest possible range of autistic traits, not the minimum range of criteria needed to define autism. Instead of showing what things every autistic person will have in common (which would result in the kind of pitifully small and generally useless descriptions found elsewhere), this list intends to show you the greatest diversity you can expect to encounter among autistic people.

Autistic people are often stereotypically described as being detail-focused or unable to see the big picture. But to me it’s always felt like an unsatisfactory description to call someone either detail-focused or “big picture”-focused. It’s impossible to do one without the other. I think the more significant factor is about how naturally or easily a person can go from one to the other, and how they use them to learn.

I can be pretty good at talking to strangers. I can get through a targeted and purposeful interaction by being my natural affect-less self. That rarely seems to bother people – at least not that I’ve noticed. I can pretty easily pass as being ‘just’ in a hurry or distracted, and the other person can handle that without being uncomfortable. It becomes much more difficult when I’m interacting with someone who isn’t a complete stranger.

I crashed out of secondary school twice during the course of my five years there. I dropped out of college by the end of my second year. I bailed on my first ever ‘proper’ job at a fast food restaurant after less than two months and about ten shifts, half of which I didn’t go to. I had to give up on my volunteering position in a cafe after a few months and several missed days. For a long time I was able to recognise this pattern, but I couldn’t understand it.

Last year, I wrote a post about what I wanted from my academic future. I cockily ended that post with "I'm sure I won't change my mind!" - I should have spotted the potential for irony.

I have gradually become less certain of the answer to this question. At this point, my short version is "I have no idea!".

Running into an old friend is a very unfamiliar experience for me. I’m pretty young anyway, so I haven’t had much time to develop and then lose touch with friends. I’ve also hardly had any ‘friends’ in the first place. Most times when I’ve lost touch with people (like when I left primary school, and then when I left secondary school), it’s been a relief to have them out of my life. But losing touch with someone who I actually have largely positive memories and feelings towards – that’s never really happened before.