fons vitae caritas

this blog is my diary it’s my sketchbook it’s stuff on my bedroom wall it’s a pdf it’s an unpublished novel it’s a collage. it’s all of these things

I miss you in quiet ways—in skipped songs, in sunsets that don’t feel right, in jokes I can't tell anyone else.

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

You’re opening the door to your home or walking around the farmers market or talking to someone you love on the phone or laughing w friends over dinner or sitting on the couch or looking out the window of a car, an airplane, a living room, and an emotional breakthrough reaches out to you like an eclipse, a subtle shift, a threshold you just passed through without even looking for it

i’m realizing that i have so much time. i have time to grow my hair long. i have time to cut it all off and then to grow it back again. i have time to discover new hobbies and give up on things that no longer serve me. i have time to grow and change and travel and change my opinions and live differently than how i am now. i have so much time. take a deep breath and slow down