I'm not one to lie -- it was hot.

You should indeed.

Release Dashing Cody Rhodes on us all.

I'm not one to lie -- it was hot.

Who hurt you? I'll get them.

You need to rest up, Queen. I'll send a fruit basket.

going to let you guys in on a lifelong secret i’ve held begrudgingly for many, many years. my father… i-i-i... i don’t know how to say this… my father is The Big Man (no, not Al Snow)… he is… The One And Only Santa Claus. take with this information what you must. just know we’re close and he often asks me to review his nice list… i also love cookies. lots of cookies. every cookie. except ones with raisins. because fuck you, raisins. you can bring me all your favorite homemade baked cookies and i promise to put a good word in. any other sweet baked goods i’ll accept, too. except fruit“cake.” because, fuck you fruit“cake.” you are an imposter!

Wait a minute ⸻ does this mean that you're the Elf on the Shelf?

Unfortunately it's true and I'll be off the road for awhile to let my injury heal.

Who hurt you? I'll get them.

Maybe I should go brunette again. They say blondes have more fun but I get injured more when I'm blonde.

Release Dashing Cody Rhodes on us all.

Oh, look what you made me do.

Never...

Oh, look what you made me do.

can you do my laundry since i'm good at making you do things?

Only if it includes your boxer briefs.

Oh, look what you made me do.

As long as someone is screaming, catfight!

Oh, look what you made me do.

Thanks, sweetheart.