Club Aussie

“Why’d they build the Great Wall of China?” “To keep the rabbits out”

The Big Ad

Làmb, the new fragrance

NO GARY NO

The Golden Gaytime ad that hasn’t changed for 300 years

Lara Bingle Offends the Americans

Put another shrimp on the barbie even though we actually call them prawns, thanks Paul Hogan

That’s firteen firteen firty too

The ad where everyone says “Bugger”

“Tall Jan is Malicious!?”

“Marge! Marge! The rains are ‘ere!”

These are ones I hear and use on a daily basis. There are hundreds more but they’re not as commonly used as people might think - these are. I may have missed a few because I did not realise it was specific to Australia. (Like bogan, I thought that was worldwide until my other half told me otherwise) shits and giggles - for the hell of it / why not / because I could. “Why on earth would you pour custard down his pants!?” “Shits and giggles.” cracked the shit - got angry very suddenly / completely lost it “So what happened?” “I don’t know man, she just randomly cracked the shit.” thongs - jandals. flip flops. those rubber shoe things that have the bit that goes in between your big toe and second toe. bludger - generally lazy person / that one ass hole at the party who makes the most mess yet none of the cleaning / almost a lazier version of a mooch bogan - someone who generally does not bother with personal appearance or hygiene / unemployed bludger / those people who look like they should have stinky lines and flies bloody oath - fuck yes / i wholeheartedly agree my friend, you are most certainly right, there is no possible way I could agree with you more heartily right now; but more vulgar / equivalent to an American “Fuckin’ A” Bloke - generally just means male / but has evolved to the fact you can use it as a decription meaning very butch, outdoorsy or a friendly term of endearment. “Yeah he’s a real blokey kinda guy.” - butch “Yeah he’s a good bloke.” - endearment Sheila - generally means female / but once again has evolved into a decription meaning the idealistic housewife or someone who looks extremely damn hot but in an athletic, tan, big boobed lets go hiking in the woods type way. “Whoa, check out that Sheila.” - looks “Yeah, she’s a damn good Sheila.” - housewifey bored shitless - bored but they need you to know it’s gone past normal boredom / the kind of boredom you get when your on a road trip by yourself and the radio or mp3 cord doesn’t work piss up - party involving alcohol shits me to tears - extremely frustrated / beyond angry / can be used about a situation or about a person  “All these road works shits me to tears" - situation “He shits me to tears so much that I think I may just slit his throat" - person cark(ed) it - died. hey - this isn’t necessarily slang but we do use it somewhat differently. We tend to use it as a “aye!” or “yeah?!” or “right?!” like a question of “you agree? / get what I mean” at the end of the sentence. Can also be used as ‘so you know.’ I just remember when I first came over I was quite confused because it sounded like everyone was trying to get my attention at the end of their sentence instead of the start. “It was amazing, hey!” - more like a silent question if you agree “I’m so pissed off, hey.” - statement chunder - vomit. cactus - not functioning / damn bloody useless / just pretty much shit “This dildo is cactus"  dag - a goof / that funny person who can be somewhat slow on the joke / that person who will get on the dance floor and purposely do the worst possible moves they can. "So I accidentally slapped someone with my hair today because I thought it would be funny to WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH.” “You’re such a dag” can also be meant as an insult, generally towards strangers if they’re an idiot but not with any friendly feelings strung along with it. “Look at that dag singing along to Justin Bieber” Can also be used as ‘daggy’ which means somewhat scruffy clothes, the type of clothes you wear around the house when you’re not expecting anyone.

inspired entirely by this comment: 

A sausage sizzle occurs in large public spaces, on hot sunny days (so all year round). A sausage sizzle is either free, as a draw to the event, or a fundraiser, in which it is acceptable to charge up to $2 for your sausage sizzle (gold coin donation). It must be a fundraiser for a local community organisation, however. Scouts, public schools, bush fire brigades, surf life saving clubs etc are all appropriate causes for the fundraiser sausage sizzle.

A single sausage, presented on a single piece of white bread with margarine. You can choose from two kinds of sauces, tomato or barbecue. Most of the time you can also get fried onion too, if you like it.

It is against the spirit of the Sausage Sizzle to charge extra for sauce, margarine or onion, however if you are offering fancy extras like bacon or fried mushroom, charging an extra 50c/$1 is okay.

It is WITHIN the spirit of the Sausage Sizzle to provide inclusive alternatives - vegan/halal/kosher - depending on the local community. Sausage sizzles are for all Australians.