you learn as you go

“There’s no result if there’s no process, so yeah… everything is connected. Everything is part of it. I just grew up never throwing ideas away. I can’t tell you how many short stories I’ve written from ideas I had when I was a teenager. The essence is the same, but the execution is what changes.” Beth explained, before taking another sip of her beer. “If you really think about it, everything we read or watch, are the same ideas being told differently. Like The Lion King and Hamlet.” It wasn’t always that Beth got this deep in a conversation, so she was actually happy to be chatting with someone who she knew it would get the reference, because it was easier for people to have watched The Lion King, than to have read Hamlet. His words made her smile. Not that Beth was out there seeking appraisal, but the way Austin worded it made her feel good about herself… appreciated. “In that case, you’ll get an e-mail from me by the end of tomorrow morning.” She would have sent it that night, but mixing work and alcohol might not be a good idea. “Why exaggerating, though? If you take great pictures, then own it. I’m sure that if I ask around, I’ll find people who agree with you. So yeah, try and get in sync with what she likes, that way it could be fun for the both of you. You said she likes spending time with you, so you already have half of your problem solved.”

“You’re better than me, I’m better at telling others how to write and correcting their work than writing on my own” Austin loved reading, loved teaching about literature, but when it was time to write something of his own? Well it took him forever. “I actually use that example in class, The Lion King is such a rip off” He chuckled, entertained. “The bad thing is that most people stay with the Lion King and don’t even approach Hamlet, which is a shame since it’s such a nice piece” And he liked Shakespeare, as cliché as that sounded. “Good, you shall receive a call by the end of the semester” He assured her with a playful wink. “I’m absolutely sure I am in no way at the level Alma would like, you know how teens are, they edit everything and care a lot about angles. I’m decent, I was totally exaggerating” He confessed.

“Oh, no. I have a folder that is filled with ideas and things I got rid of from the first book, so no worries… nothing is going to that recycled bin.” The brunette giggled, before taking another sip of her beer. It kind of felt nice to be out, talking to someone who felt like a friend and it wasn’t Dal or Hyunjin. She knew things would change with school starting and she would probably end up making new friends, so that was good because she was tired of feeling lonely. “Oh, I meant eventually… I don’t think I’m qualified to be anyone’s TA right now… but I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll send you my resume, I promise.” She smiled, happy to know that there was a chance for her to do more of her life than simply waiting for her opportunity to be a successful writer to present itself. “I’m sure she’d still be interested in trekking if you offered. She’s a teenager with a phone. Take her to places she can take pretty pictures to post them on Instagram.”

“I’m delighted to hear that, I’m very sensitive when it comes to unpublished work, I believe every word is part of the process and the process is as important as the result” And he always insisted with his students that they should always keep every draft, because the progress from the start to the end was a wonderful thing to witness. “Why wouldn’t you? You have more experience than most and honestly, you understand your writing process in a way that is perfect to share with other students” So yeah, he would be very excited to have her resume with him. “That’s a good way to present myself, if I tell her she’d get a wonderful setting for her instagram she’ll be excited. Plus, I know I might be exaggerating since I say it myself, but I take great pictures”

“It’s not like teenagers ever think most things adults do are cool, though.” Lara chuckled while looking at her glass of wine while listening to Austin. It was hard to think of a teenager who would actually go like ‘wow, my dad is super cool!’, right? “I wouldn’t know much about how kids refer to bases, but I have a younger brother… I could ask him, I guess..” Lara chuckled again. “I’m sure your kid isn’t thinking much about it, so relax.”

“Oh I know, I think that’s why I’ve simply accepted my place you know, the uncool dad who is kind of a nerd and knows everyone’s parents” He chuckled because that definitely didn’t make him a popular dad but at least his students liked him enough not to make things weird for Alma or anything. “How old is your brother?” He asked, wondering how young was younger. “I think I overstress when honestly I have a great kid, so cheers to that”

“I remember the first time I introduced a boyfriend to my dad.” Lara chuckled softly as she sipped on her glass of wine. It’d been a long day at court, so all she wanted to do was to grab a drink and get distracted. Lucky for her, that stranger at the bar was providing her enough distractions for the night. “I wish he had been cool about it like you were, but oh well. When did this happen? Is she still out with him?”

“So you do think I was cool? Because I was really scared Alma wouldn’t think that” He said with a chuckle. It wasn’t like he attempted to be a cool dad all the time and lived to make a good impression on his daughter, but he did make an effort to be a close dad, not someone Alma would want to run away from. “This happened last Saturday. He brought her back home in time and even walked her to the door without trying to reach second base. Although kids probably have a different description of bases now, I don’t know”

“I mostly help around the clinic. I help Noah with shots or if he needs to do a more serious procedure.” Clara shrugged. Maybe she should’ve clarified that she wasn’t allowed to actively participate in those procedures yet, but at the same time, Austin was smart enough to know that it was a given. “I clean, keep track of meds, gloves, etc, etc. I helped giving birth to puppies on my first day. It was pretty dope.” She wasn’t going to say this out loud, but she almost cried. “Noah’s nice. He mostly keeps to himself, which is nice. He’s been a good instructor. I like working there. How’s school?”

“Look at you, Miss Future Veterinary, you sound very fancy doing all those things there” Austin was damn proud to hear what Clara was doing, he was not scared to admit she had a special place in his heart. “You helped in that? Wow, I can imagine how amazing that is. You know, I was during Alma’s birth and almost fainted and sobbed the entire time, you need to be tough to see those things but hopefully with puppies it wasn’t that bad” He said with a smile. “Noah sounds like a good boss. School is as usual, but you know, teens becoming teens even sooner now, I’m really grateful I receive them when they’re older though, wouldn’t be able to deal with the younger generations” He said with a smile. “How are things at home?”

“Yeah, that’s something I’ve been doing a lot and I realized it makes writing easier… I pretty much write everything I want, and then when it’s time to review the chapter I either get rid of some things, add others… it’s been very helpful to me.” Especially since she didn’t have to keep going back and forth and ending up writing something she didn’t like. “With school starting this fall, who knows, maybe I’ll end up being your TA some time soon.” She offered with a smile. “That is—if you’re looking for a TA.” Beth then shrugged. “I just figured it would be good for me to have that experience in the future.” The way he spoke about his daughter made the brunette smile. It reminded of the way her father would talk to her sometimes, so it gave the impression that Alma and him were very happy. “What do you guys usually do?”

“Just make sure not to get rid of anything. Keep it hidden somewhere if you don’t want it, but in a few years, it might be nice to look back at your work, and who knows, maybe in the future your early work will be sold in millions of dollars” He pointed out with a smile.  “I was not looking for one right now but I will definitely need one when college starts” He divided his time between high school and his college courses and he was definitely interested. “Why don’t you send me your resume? I need to suggest names and I’d love to suggest yours” He assured her. “It’s definitely good, yes” He agreed, smiling as he always did when thinking of Alma. “When she was younger we would always do something, go to the park, to the movies, go trekking. Now she has more and more responsibilities and well, her own life, so we always discuss her plans and I try to adjust myself to them and she makes sure we always have time together, but you know, she’s not impressed with the zoo anymore so I need to get creative”

‘That’s the only thing you can do,” she agreed with another nod. “Wish her to be happy with whomever she wants, and hope she does the right thing.” At least, that’s what she would do if she had a child who started dating. “I hope she does too-If I ever had a problem, I’d go to my daddy all the time, just for his advice or just to tell him if something is wrong.”

“Yeah, and I mean, I’m not a fool, I know she will suffer eventually, she’ll get her heart broken but it’s all part of growing up and she needs to go through all of that. I guess that as a parent, I want to keep her safe and happy all the time” He explained, because he wished he could protect his daughter from the world but he knew that was an impossible task.  “I hope she feels that way”

“They might not be really good to begin with, but hey… I’ll just keep writing.” Beth was determined to be a published author. Whether her story would make it to New York Times’ best sellers list or be a complete flop, she didn’t care anymore. She wanted to write this story and she wanted for people to know these characters, so she’d just keep writing. “I have so many ideas.” She giggled. “So many plot twists and adventures and love for Jamie and Claire.” The brunette shook her head while smiling, before sipping on her beer again while Austin talked about school. Maybe when she was halfway through her studies, she could talk to him and maybe suggest becoming his TA? That wouldn’t be so bad, right? “Honestly, I think teachers love vacation twice as much as students. You guys do so much! Preparing classes, grading papers, etc, etc, etc. It’s a thankless job, I’m sure.” She nodded again. “You could talk to Alma and see if she wants to hang out with you on the weekends. That’d be nice, right?”

“I strongly believe that as an author, you just got to write whatever you need to write, you’ll decide later if you rewrite it or change it, just make sure you write, always” Austin adviced because he felt it was such a shame whenever someone kept wonderful words to themselves. He nodded, glad to know she understood how much workload a teacher had. “I do try to take some weeks off during summer, making sure I don’t spend every day just working and thinking of what to do next in school” Which was easy to do because in his mind he was always thinking of new things to use in his classroom. “Oh, we hang out every other weekend, she never misses her weekends with me, so that’s for granted” He winked at her playfully.

In her world, kids kept things from their parents all the time, but it was none of her business to break Austin’s heart like that, right? When he had been one the few reasons to have made her stay in school all those years ago. People needed some sweet dose of ignorance, she guessed… or else, life would just get bitter and they’d an older version of her. Or younger–depending on who they were. “It’s going good. No one as lit as you–” She smirked, chuckling at her own joke. “Wow I’m so dumb. Anyway… it’s going good. I’m a part-timer at this animal clinic in Esperance now, so it’s been nice to put into practice what I’ve been learning these years. My boss is not an asshole, so that’s a plus too.”

Austin chuckled as well, her wording making him entertained. Maybe he should use that in class, see if his students would think it was funny ot not. “Oh really? And how’s that? What do you do there?” He didn’t know much about how animal clinics words, so he wasn’t sure if Clara, as a part timer, did get to do a lot or not, but it was nice to hear she was doing something she liked. “You saying that your boss is not an asshole doesn’t say he’s nice either, is it bad? Or is it a good place to work at?”

“I’m going good.” Beth smiled at Austin. He’d been so nice to her, offering to be her beta reader and proofread all the things she would write to make sure they were correct and made sense. “Book number one is done, as you know. I’ve started writing number two because I’m scared the good ideas will leave me if I don’t write them. So far it’s been only scribbles, but I know where I want to take this one.” She sipped on her beer, before leaning closer to speak closer to him. “Jamie and Claire are going to France.” Leaning back, she still that smile on her lips before it disappeared around her beer bottle. “You’ve been a Godsend for reading it, so thank you for reading it before anyone else. How are you? Excited to be back in the classroom?”

“Hey, your mind works in a very interesting way, I doubt good ideas will leave you when you’re the one producing them” He understood a lot of the writing process so he totally knew what she meant by that, but it was important to develop more confidence because he was sure Beth’s book wouldn’t be a one hit wonder, she had the potential to keep writing and he was sure every book that followed would be a successful one. “I adore France, never been there but it’s such a nice setting” He was excited for Beth’s work. “You’re welcome, it’s been my pleasure. I’m excited because I love teaching but I’ve also had a lot of time to hang out with Alma and read, so I will miss that, you know? Teachers love vacation as much as students do”

She nodded. “I know,” Kaira agreed, chuckling. “My parents do the same thing when it came to me dating-suffer in silence and hope that I’m doing the right thing. They want me to get married soon, but I’m not ready for that yet. Just gonna wait for the right guy to come along and take my heart away.” Kaira was a hopeless romantic at heart, but she can wait till he came around the corner and had no rush to get married right then and there. ‘That’s good to hear-you just have to hope that he acts like that all the time.”

“Well I don’t want my daughter to get married any time soon, and well, you know, if she never marries that’s her thing too, I guess i just want her to be happy” But she was too young to be discussing weddings, he just figured Alma would have to do her thing and live her own experiences. “Yeah, that’s why I just need to have hopes, and it’s not like Alma tells me in detail everything about her new boyfriend, I hope she trusts me enough to tell me if something goes wrong”

Kyle nodded along, pulling his beer closer and running a thumb over the glass before taking a drink. He rose his brow at the comment of this kid having had three exes he’d cheated on and he couldn’t help shaking his head with a laugh. “Double edged sword, man. Great to be able to keep an eye out but then no one is gonna be good enough at that rate.” It was too much meddling for Kyle. He tried to give Ryan space in hopes that his son would come to him anytime he needed help or had questions. “Just let teens be teens. I’m sure she’ll make the right choices when it comes down to it, ya know?” It wasn’t like Austin was an absent parent and had zero concern for what happened; Alma surely had a little guidance. “Hell, I’d probably be more protective if I had a daughter myself. My son’s too young to be dating, so I won’t have to worry about that for a few years.”

“Some parents complain they don’t know their kids friends and well, I know them all a little too well, definitely a double edged sword” He chuckled because working at the same school as Alma definitely had its benefits, but it also had its bad parts. Sometimes he doubted if he was doing the right thing, if maybe Alma and him should be in different high schools, but it had been working until now and he hoped it kept working in the future. “That’s what I’m hoping my friend, I just don’t want to see my girl sad” And he was sure Kyle would understand that. “You’re lucky he’s too young yet but beware, time passes by so damn fast, we’ll be having this conversation soon but your son will be the protagonist, just wait and see, man”

“I know… Sean is growing up so fast. It almost feels like he was born yesterday.” And now he would start off the day by learning a different word because that was what the therapist had advised them to. To keep on challenging Sean at home or else he’ll have some trouble getting interested and adapting to regular school. But Seok had other worries in mind that had nothing to do with his children growing up fast and dating and more with his own mental health and his depression. The shadow of his parents death still scared him, that one day he might be gone in a blink of an eye, but that, obviously wasn’t something he was going to disclosure in a bar. “Have you talked to her about it? Maybe she can help you with your own struggles.”

“Is he doing alright? How’s the whole big brother role coming out?” He asked, wondering if it was a big change or not. He always wanted to give Alma a sibling but they had been too young and foolish and well, they couldn’t afford having another kid for a long time and then he got divorced so another kid was not possible. “When I say she struggles I don’t mean it in the same way as I struggle. She’s probably more worried about Alma’s boyfriend liking her and thinking she’s a cool mom than worrying about how he could end up hurting her” Stacey was just different, her priorities were confusing. “But I’ll definitely talk to her, you know, make sure we are on the same page and all”

“Yeah. I mean… she’s already out with the kid. Plus… it could’ve been worse. She could have hidden him from you, so just bask in the fact that she wanted to include you in that part of her life and move on. And if she asks you about sex, don’t act like it’s something from another world or that she shouldn’t know about. It’s better for her to be informed than not.” Clara would know. Her mom had her when she was around Austin’s kid’s age, so yeah, she was way too glad that she had broken that cycle. Hopefully her sister would do too. “I wouldn’t worry much about it. I’m sure one of her girlfriends will advise her to do that. Just… relax, you know? Kids grow up eventually.”

“I like to think Alma wouldn’t hide these things from me but heck, you never really know, it could totally happen in the future” And it was precisely because of that that Austin didn’t want to make a big deal out of her new boyfriend, just giving Alma the space and respect she had always deserved. “Oh we talk about sex, it’s not a taboo at home or anything” It had been weird at first, sure, but he liked to think Alma trusted him enough to ask and talk to him about it. “How’s school going for you? Have you had any great teachers like the amazing literature guy you had in high school?”

“Oh wow,” Kaira said, her mouth dropping a bit. “He had three ex-girlfriends that he cheated on? You must be a brave man to let him go out with your daughter,” she told him. If it was her and her father found out about the three ex-girlfriends…yeah, she’ll be staying home for sure, no doubt about it. “And did he bring her back home before midnight?” she asked curiously.

“Well, I don’t really have a saying on who she dates, you know? So it’s not like I let her date or don’t let her date a guy, she makes her own choices, I just suffer in silence hoping those choices are the right ones” He chuckled, he didn’t want to be that dad who prohibited things. Sure, if Alma got involved in dangerous things he wouldn’t doubt, but she had chosen a guy to date him, he couldn’t say anything about that. “He did, he behave like a gentleman apparently”

“Well… hardships helps thickening the skin.” Beth offered Austin a sympathetic smile. She wasn’t a mother, but she did have someone in her life who she worried about like an older sister. Not the same situation, nor the same feeling, but it was the closest that she would ever get from relating to what Austin had said. “Experiencing first loves and first heartbreaks is part of life. I get that you’re trying to look out for her, but she needs these experiences… and so do you as a father.”

Austin hadn’t even thought about not letting Alma experience anything, so he didn’t question Beth words, he totally agreed with her, it was just nice to be able to vent about this situation especially because he knew he wouldn’t do anything about it. It was Alma’s life, he would always respect that. “How are you doing? How’s the book going? I feel honored to be able to read it before anyone else”

“Are you trying to scare me by telling me exactly how things are going to be for me when Sara turns 15 or Sean brings someone home?” Seok chuckled after he’d let his friend vent. A beer in his hand as well because, despite the fact that he wasn’t much of a drinker, he could accompany a friend in a drink. He’d just be much slower, which, in hindsight, could be a good thing. “So you’ve got until midnight to worry, then… I see..”

“The more prepared you are for their teenage years the better, you’ll thank me in fifteen years”  Austin assured him, not wanting to scare him but he was more into the sharing stories, comparing notes kind of conversation. “My friend, they grow up so fast, don’t even dare blinking or you’ll miss it” He missed the days when Alma was just a toddler, but heck, watching her grow up and become the amazing woman she was now was pretty great too. “I mean, I actually don’t have to worry, she’s staying with her mom today so she’s the one who should be freaking out. But Stacey has always been so... I don’t know, weird, I bet she’s struggling as much as I am with this dating news”