everybody raise a glass

“Oh don’t listen to him, Fallon. He’s a guy, of course he would defend his own.” She’s teasing, shown by the grin on her features as her eyes stayed focused and soft on her little button face. She’s not asleep, but she’s settled, just seemingly watching her and accepting her as probably the latest person in a long line to offer her some motherly type of comfort. “Cupcake phase,” Harley chuckled, brushing a soft fingertip down from Fallon’s head, to her nose, and repeated the motion until her little eyes started to flutter shut. “I think this one might always be as sweet as a cupcake. What you need is people who’ll stick around to help you out when the mass of teenage hormones try to date her.” Not to freak him out with the thought but– mm, actually, totally to freak him out with the thought, if only to amuse herself with his reaction. 

“Then what are you worrying about, Monroe?” She hummed softly, lifting her eyes back up to him with a smile so soft, so genuine it would melt steel. “You put her first, love her like nothing else on this whole earth and you work till your back breaks if it means giving her what she deserves… You’ll be just fine, the both of you against the world. I’d bet on you.” Giggling softly, somewhere between lulling Fallon into a sleepy state, she’d found a tranquil mind of her own. Perhaps it was just the feeling of holding something so tiny, so small and fragile, something worth so much more than anything you could ever buy. There’s a tiny part of her that envied him, but only in the purest sort of way

It wasn’t hard to notice the shift in his posture, nor was the way his mouth opened ignored. Her humble ego? It certainly enjoyed the reaction he gave her. But was that not the way it sometimes went between them? After so long, she chalked it down to him not being able to handle the way she said things in her accent, not that it wasn’t flattering every time he’d get a little stutter-y around her. “Uh huh,” she wiggled her brows, tipping her chin up towards him with a smirk. “And if I said… I want your body now… Would you hold it against me?” So the trap was worded. No? Yes? Either way the meaning of his answer was option to suggestion. Harley was giggling softly, greeny brown eyes that had actually decided to dance anywhere but directly into his just so she didn’t blush at all. Couldn’t risk letting him in on the fact that he was capable of making her rosy cheeked, not when she’d successfully hidden that fact for five years and to the point where it was second nature now. “Mm, Monroe, you could try me but you could never handle me.” She purred playfully, followed by poking her tongue out at him and biting back a laugh, just so she didn’t jiggle the now sleeping buba against her chest. 

“Oh god, don’t remind me,” Austin lamented as he reached up to drag a hand down the side of his face. A strangled laugh sputtered out of him as he blinked between Harley and his daughter, nearly able to picture the adolescent version of her pouting at his back while he warded off hordes of testosterone fueled teenagers. “I’m already dreadin’ that day.” Mostly because he’d never exactly pictured himself as intimidating. But thankfully, he had the MC to help with that. He might not have been a member, but he was close enough to all of them that he knew he could call on any Devil to help him out whenever he needed it-- and he was damn sure going to need it when Fallon was old enough to date. “I think her uncle can handle that one for me,” Austin pointed out, all too glad to pass that burden off on CJ-- and Cain.

Humming a doubtful tune, Austin shrugged his shoulders, “Same shit parents always worry about, I guess.” He couldn’t readily articulate what gnawed at him the most, he just knew that the fear swirling around in his gut never fully left him-- not even when he was sleeping. But he also knew that he wasn’t facing this alone-- not when he had Cain and his brother offering up their help whenever he needed it, and people like Harley building him up far more than he thought he deserved. But he wasn’t about to tell her that. “Well, with people like you in our corner, Fallon and I might actually stand a chance,” he offered up instead, right along with one of his usual crooked grins.

There’s a clear sense of amusement on her features, one that was holding back the laugh she wanted to let out. So instead she grins, she’s chuckling softly but it’s enough to notice on her shoulders. It’s that pain of having something so repetitive in your head, circling on repeat that tickled her. More so because it wasn’t her and also because she was clearly laughing at his misfortune. “The hate will be worth it then.” she jested, she could take it and at the same time she’d probably spam his phone with the little spider emoji’s just to prompt that incy wincy spider.. cue in his head. Maybe she should grow up but she enjoyed it. The kids aisle in the shops? She was that person that pressed every single ‘test me’ button all the toys had to offer.

“Hey the toys that sing are the best ones.” she saw no cons, but then maybe that was because she wouldn’t be stuck with them 24/7, she could just chuck, run and laugh on her way home. Taking out the medium sized spider plush from her bag, that had a little button on its top— which of course, she wasn’t about to press now, but it was clear where it was, she holds the spider up in the palm of her hands as if it’s some great prize. “Tell me that’s not cute.” she inwardly chuckles, “If you say it’s not you’re lying, like, look at the little legs.” she pulls her bottom lip out, as if to silently say aww. 

“God, you’re the worst,” Austin groaned in spite of the small grin he tossed at her. He was only teasing; Gianna had been nothing short of a life saver ever since he’d returned to Charming with Fallon. He definitely could have done without the singing toys though. Flashing her a bewildered look, Austin shook his head, “On what planet?” How were they possibly the best when they drove him to drink nearly every time he heard one of the overly cheery tunes? Maybe if he wasn’t stuck with them long after she went home to enjoy the silence, he might have garnered a greater appreciation for them.

“That’s just dad anxiety. Your brother was a real bitch for it too. Any little sniffle was the plague.” he said, trying somehow to ease Austin’s mind. It wasn’t so easy, not with what Fallon had been through already, how was he to know if there wasn’t something wrong? He made a mental note to think about a quick hospital trip if the baby didn’t calm down in the next ten minutes. It was always better to be safe than sorry. “Like I said, if you’re tied up in knots, it’s not good for either of you.”

Turning his attention back to Fallon, he started walking around, bouncing her a little, humming lightly so she could feel it against her chest. “You gotta cut your dad some slack, kiddo, come on, be a man about it.” He whispered, smiling warmly to himself when she started to cry just a little quieter. Thank god. His ears were already ringing. Turning back to face Austin behind the bar, he pulled a face. “Babies love me.” He teased. Cain only started walking closer to him when the crying had almost ceased. “I wasn’t kiddin’, babies do pick up on it. The more you stress, the more they do. You just gotta take a breath and relax, the tantrums always end eventually.” Carefully perching on the end of the stool, he leaned his head back to glance at her, seeing how she was almost asleep. 

“You were thrown in the deep end with this one but you’ve made it work so far. That was the hard part, now you’re here you got all us to help you too. You need to go out on your own, take a night off at least once a week, I’m sure Mel will be happy to babysit. You’re doin’ just fine, man. Don’t worry so much.” With a nod of his head, he let a small smirk crawl on his face. “I was humming. I remember I tried it when Lilah was screaming like a banshee and it worked for her too. Must be a Monroe thing. That, or she was just wailing ‘cos she hadn’t met me yet.” The fun Uncle, he’d argue.

Somehow, it made him feel better knowing that his older brother had experienced the same sort of earth shattering panic that Fallon had unceremoniously introduced him to over the last couple months. Growing up, CJ had been Austin’s hero; he’d literally hung the moon and stars and ran straight into the fire-- he didn’t get daunted by anything. But hearing that fatherhood had managed to scare CJ too eased the younger Monroe brother’s weary mind and helped him feel slightly less ridiculous about every panic attack he’d had since Fallon was born. It helped him feel more...normal. “Are you even doin’ it right if it doesn’t scare the shit out of you sometimes?” Austin chuckled, reaching up to scrub a hand down the side of his face. In some ways, he guessed the fear was a good thing; it meant that he cared. He just wished he could experience it in much smaller doses, for both his sake and Fallon’s.

“They oughta come with an instruction manual,” Austin muttered, unable to help the soft grin that tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I’m tryin’, man,” he sighed, reaching for the bottle of whiskey. Pouring himself another shot, Austin shook his head, “It’s hard not to think worst case scenario any time somethin’ happens.” But he guessed that with time, things would slowly start to get better and he would stop falling into panic mode any time the infant so much as sneezed. 

“I hope that growl isn’t because you’ve been neglecting yourself,” stabbing his chest with the tip of her finger, her eyes narrowed accusingly towards him. She remembered how difficult it was to remember to feed yourself when you were busy feeding a baby or doing a million other jobs at the same time. “Gorgeous,” Jenny smiled warmly. “They’re the best at this age. Whatever tantrums you think you’ve heard so far got nothing on the terrible two’s. You’re gonna need eyes in the back of your head, Monroe.” Chuckling, she walked back a few steps, waving them into the living room. 

“Healthy attitude to have. Yeah, things are going.” She shrugged. “I’m fine, y’know, same old. You wanna sit here or at the table? I don’t really care which, just try not to slop all over my sofa.” Teasing, she moved towards the table and grabbed a plate, eyeing up the array of foods she’d just placed out before he arrived. “Help yourself. I better make up a plate for Liam in-case he comes skulking in after midnight. Fucker raids the fridge and cupboards like a hungry tramp. Thinks I can’t hear him munching on my chips.” 

Cringing slightly, Austin glanced down at Jenny’s finger as she jammed it into his chest, “Guilty,” he chuckled softly as he met her gaze. It was true he hadn’t been quite as on top of his own health as he once was; now that Fallon had taken center stage, everything else in his life had moved back a row-- including his own wellbeing. Logically, he knew he couldn’t continue on that way and that he’d be of no use to his little girl if he didn’t find a moment to look after himself too, but for right now, he was just aiming to keep his head above water. Austin eased out a half-hearted groan at her warning, already imagining just how dramatic one of Fallon’s future tantrums might get, “God, I remember some of Lilah’s. Always gave CJ shit for it, and now I’m in the same boat.”

Bringing the light down so she wasn’t completely blinding the man she took a step back and giggled as she watched Austin start to right himself. He looked confused and honestly if she’d woken up in her car in a parking lot she’d have felt the same way. It didn’t help that she’d basically accosted him with the tapping on the window and the flashlight but better her than someone who didn’t know he wasn’t just some bum trying to sleep the night off in the parking lot. Glad she moved out of the way as soon as he opened the door, she only felt a tad bit of remorse as she’d evidently given him a scare but the soft laughter that was still being let out in incriments was telling of something else. “Oh come on, how else did you want me to try to wake you up? With soothing music and a cup of coffee?” Not the least bit worried about his heart because he was way too young to truly have one over that.

“I don’t know.” Answering truthfully as she hooked the flashlight back onto her belt and reached for her cell that was stowed away in one of her pockets. “Looks to be about half past 12.” Repeating the time her phone displayed as she lifted her gaze back to Austin’s. “How long have you been out here?” Her shift had just barely ended and while that was late to her there was no telling how long he’d been out for. The market had been closed at least for two hours now so she was betting at least that. Maybe more seeing as he had a child to care for now and probably had a weirder schedule than she now. Parents were always up at odd hours of the night which made her suddenly panic at the next thought as it dawned on her that she hadn’t seen the child when she’d first initially walked the car.

“You didn’t come here with Fallon did you?” Asking in a sightly higher pitch than usual as the fear showed through. He hadn’t seemed too worried when he woke up so that was her only grace for not completely getting scared yet.

Rubbing at his eyes, Austin muttered a harsh curse beneath his breath and sighed hard. He knew he’d felt tired, but tired enough to fall asleep with the keys in the ignition was a new low-- one he hadn’t reached in quite some time, or while sober. Shaking his head, he glanced over at Adriana and managed a weak laugh, “I mean, I’m never gonna object to coffee.” And soothing music didn’t sound half bad either.

Gazing up at the sky, Austin huffed another curse word and leaned back against his car. After midnight? Groaning quietly, he scrubbed a hand down the side of his face, “Fuck-- a few hours, then,” he answered, still stunned by how easy it had been for him to pass out. When he’d done his fair share of traveling, he’d spent most nights crammed in the back seat of a car instead of a warm bed, but that had been years ago-- looking back, he wondered how he even pulled it off; it wasn’t as comfortable as he remembered.

“Less than shit. May as well just accept it now. Be a lesbian, huh? Girls know what girls like.. Top tips. I’ll repeat all this to you when you’re old enough.” There’s a soft chuckle as she curls a gentle hand around the side of Fallon’s little face. Harley leans down, barely pressing a little kiss on her button nose but the intent just to comfort is there. Holding something so tiny and precious, looking at her blue eyes it was like a heavy weight had shifted from her shoulders. “You have a lot of people who care about you, Austin, the ones who step up now though… They don’t mean shit unless they stay.” Harley shuffled into the corner of the booth so she could swing her legs up on the cushions and slouch a little, careful not to disturb the baby too much. “It’s like how it is for new mothers, people come round and fuss in the first weeks and then you don’t see ‘em again. You figure out the people who really care once you have a baby.” And sure, he wasn’t a mother, but he was a dad, and the mother wasn’t around so… Same thing, right? 

“Good. That’s good,” Harley whispers as she shuffles Fallon until she’s flat against her chest, since the buba is mostly snoozing it’s just her way of offering a more comfortable position or her to sleep. “If I didn’t bust your balls for not meeting my needs you would never even try to meet them.” She teased, chuckling but cutting the laughter short so she didn’t jiggle too much and disturb Fallon. “Hey, I’m serious… And I wish you didn’t doubt what you’re capable of so much.” There’s an accusing lift in her brow. She knows the look of fear and doubt all too well and it’s written all over his face. Understandably so, sure.“You didn’t run when you could have and you didn’t bail when shit got hot… You wanted her,” she smiled, looking down at the slumbering baby as she was gently rubbing her back. “She’s yours, and you love her. That’s the main thing.” Harley gives a small eye roll with a little smirk on her lips. “I’ll be your first, but not here,” there’s a playful challenge to her tone as she raises a brow towards him. “It would be absolutely cruel for me to call you… daddy,” there’s a significant, impure twist to her tone, a light airy sigh that follows as she holds back the urge to giggle. Like she knows exactly what she’s doing because it was done on purpose and the fact he loved her accent in general? Only made it easier to tease. “… Not when I can’t crawl on your lap and whisper it in your ear. And certainly not before you buy me a drink first.” There’s a spark of amusement is in her eyes as she puckers her lips, making a ‘mwah’ sound as she blows him an air kiss and finally grins, chuckling softly as she shakes her head. “I’m a lady after all. At least in the daylight.”

“Ouch,” Austin drawled low, hissing out a breath as he reached up to clutch at his chest in feigned distress. “We’re not all bad,” he gently reminded her, meeting her gaze just long enough to wink at her. “Just the overwhelming majority.” It was a sad, unfortunate truth-- one he hoped his daughter never found herself on the losing end of. Shaking his head with a soft sigh, Austin pushed the thought out of his mind, for now, and glanced over at Harley, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, "Yeah, everyone’s rushin’ to offer up support now ‘cause it’s new and exciting, but I'm still gonna need the help after the cupcake phase is over." He knew his family would be there long after the dust settled, but who else would he be able to count on in the days ahead?

Glancing down at his hands as Harley spoke, Austin picked at a lone hangnail clinging to the edge of his thumb and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He’d never really known how to take a compliment, especially when stepping in and being the father Fallon needed had just felt like the right thing to do rather than something he deserved praise for. He hadn’t needed to think about it nor had he ever considered walking away from her, no matter how terrifying the prospect of becoming a father was. He’d just dug his heels in the mud and held on for dear life. But Austin was still grateful for the recognition-- it never hurt to hear that he was doing right by his little girl, especially from a woman who didn’t just hand out compliments unless she really meant them. “Yeah, she’s my whole world,” he murmured, grinning crookedly as he eyed his daughter, snoozing comfortably against Harley. “All I want is to do right by her-- I do that, and I can handle whatever else comes my way.”

17. A comforting text.

67. Who was the last person of the opposite sex that you talked to?

The incomparable Harley Dawson. I’d let that girl read me the dictionary-- everything just sounds so much nicer when it’s raspy and British. @harleydawsonx

68. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Some drunk ass at the bar. I dunno how I ended up becomin’ everyone’s therapist. But hey, sometimes it’s fun. I learn more from some of these people than I ever did in school.

69. Do you believe in soulmates?

Sure-- why not? The hopeless romantic in me is sayin’ yes. I want to believe there’s somebody out there for everyone. Just sucks that finding them ain’t always so easy.

70. Is there anyone you would die for?

30. What’s irritating you right now?

Honestly, not a whole lot. I’m doin’ good for the first time in a long time. All the shit that could be irritating me is just noise-- and I’ve learned how to tune it out.

31. Does somebody love you? 

I’d say I’m loved. My family doesn’t have a choice, really-- they’re fuckin’ stuck with me. And drunk people at the bar are always tellin’ me how much they love me-- especially when they can’t afford to pay their tab. I think my kiddo loves me, too. She smiles at me like she loves me-- or like she just shit her pants, but I like to pretend it’s out of love.

32. What is your favorite color?

Green. Not like a lime green, but a more...earthy green. Yeah.

33. Do you have trust issues? 

Ehh, not really. I trust most people until they give me a reason not to-- and then I don’t.

34. Who/what was your last dream about? 

Answered here.

35. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 

Sometimes? Sort of? I think about Fallon’s mom a lot-- like the way she was before shit went sideways. I guess I miss the way she made me feel more than I miss the person. Because I pretty much can’t fuckin’ stand the sight of her now.

5. An excited text.

No, not really. I’ve seen a lot of shit over the years. If I get scared now, it almost always has to do with my kiddo and whether or not she’s alright. Guess it just depends.

19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Nah. Way I see it, everything that’s happened in my life has led up to this exact moment-- all of your experiences have molded you into the person you are today. Sure, not all of it is sunshine and rainbows-- but it’s your story and it’s uniquely yours. Why change it?

53. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I checked on Fallon, made sure she was snug and sleepin’ soundly-- and that her diaper was shitless. Scored two of out three-- she was snug, and asleep. We were not shitless.

63. Would you change your name?