after.

Ava [9.14AM]: I need to tell you something

Ava [9.15AM]: But you have to promise me that you're not going to freak out or do anything stupid first...please?

Austin [9.30AM]: You know that this is not the way to start a conversation without me already freaking right, right?

🔪 - kill somebody for, fight somebody for, leave them to fend for themselves

          “Given that I know Evie can handle herself perfectly fine without any help, I would leave her to fend for herself. The last two are kind of mushed together, I guess. I’d fight somebody for London and Elena, as well as kill someone for both of them. No questions asked. Though I don’t know who would even want to try and mess with any of them. Pretty stupid, in my opinion.”

— ♕ —

London knew Austin like the back of her hand and that came in handy more time than she can count — and that meant he knew her just as well.  “You’re my brother, only the best for you, right?” London teased, shaking her head in amusement as she walked over to the fridge. “What do you wanna drink, anyway? I only got good beer, none of that cheap shit, white wine and mom and dad’s expensive whiskey.” After his comment in the form of a question, the blonde feigned innocent and turning on her heels, fridge open behind her as she looked at Austin with her mouth open and her hand on her chest, as if she was taken back by his words. “We haven’t talked about stuff in a while, Austin. Can’t a sister just want to spend time with her amazing big brother without having any underlying intention? And exactly! You’ve only got you and Sam to blame for this.” Without missing a beat, London kept the same (not so) innocent smile on her face. “But now that you mention it,” she started, which was half of the reason she wanted to talk to Austin — the other being the fact that she had truly missed spending time with him. “I saw Elena’s back. Have you spoken to her yet?” 

—  —  — 

         Shit. Austin knew his sister had an ulterior motive. What he doesn’t know, however, is whether she’d already spoken to Elena before coming here and how much London already knows. Either way, Austin has a feeling he’ll need all the liquor he can get his hands on for this conversation.  “I’ll take a beer — for now.”  Depending on how the talk is gonna go, the beer will definitely be empty soon.  “Come on, I knew you were full of it the second you walked in with food. And don’t give me a bullshit excuse.”  He looks at her playfully disappointed at the fact that she doesn’t know how easily he can read her (most of the time). To avoid answering her question a little longer, mostly to think of anything to say, he takes some plates out of their cupboard and places them down next to food.  “I’ve seen her a couple of times, spoken to her too.”  Those damn plastic bags are looking really interesting right about now,  “Honestly it’s been... wildly confusing since she returned. Her father passed, don’t know if you know already.”  Talking about anything but the wedding and the other night are a good start, in his opinion.  “Did you talk to her yet?”

Elena could sense the guilt he bore at the realization that perhaps his career had cost him more than he’d expected. It had been her singular fear in telling him. At the sight of him upon his return from his second tour, it was an instantaneous decision that she would carry this secret alone. The mere thought of sending him further into the dark hole he lived in scared her senseless. It was a similar fear that ate at her now. While he looked like the same old Austin she knew and loved, she had caught glimpses of his changed demeanour. There would be no forgiving herself if her return into town only served to make Austin worse. “I know, Austin.” She whispered pleadingly, her tone matching his own. While he yearned for her understanding, she hoped he heard her forgiveness. His intents had been to provide for their future in the only way he knew how. They’d both known the risks and sacrifices that came with that. “I wouldn’t change any of it.” The brunette assured him. Despite the pain, the loss, and the separation — she had spent the best moments of her life with him. Even if given the opportunity to leave him sooner knowing what she knew now, she would have stayed. However, it was the last set of words that hit her like a ton of bricks. They should have faced it all together but even now, she couldn’t envision them anywhere worse than here. They were no longer together and had lost countless years, but she remained quiet. Tears pricked at her eyes, lifting her fingers to wipe at her cheeks as they spilled over. The pain and load she’d been carrying soon crumbled and with the knowledge that Austin finally realized what she’d gone through on her own — she couldn’t hold back the emotions that surfaced. “I’m sorry,” her head shook. “I’ve just been wanting to tell you for a long time.” Five years exactly. No words shared during those years which meant the secret had remained her own.

—  —  —

         There’s a small part of him that would probably never fully understand why Elena never told him until now. Although he’d come back different, he would’ve been there. He’d have done everything in his power to make it okay. To not get that chance is a feeling Austin can’t explain. It feels empty somehow. On the other hand, he can’t stand here and hold it against her. She’d been amazing when he came back injured, tried her best to fix him, remained focused even though there was no use. Being served divorce papers surely had broken heart, hell, it broke his own. Still, his opinion was the same now. The divorce was for her own good, to let her go and live a happy life. It pains him, to this day, that he’d chosen the second tour over her and knowing what he does now, Austin probably would’ve never gone back. But it doesn’t make any sense to condemn the decisions he’d made years ago. The years they spent together are easily the happiest he’s ever had, nothing came close. No one came close. In all the years he’d tried to move on, somehow, but his mind always ended up on her. Comparing whoever he was seeing to Elena although he shouldn’t. It is like he is stuck; the price he apparently pays for leaving her.  “Hey, I understand. I honestly hate that you hid it from me, but I think understand.”  

ANNA [12.23PM]: but I only know so much

ANNA [12.25PM]: oooh you're using the P Word. and please. you know I'm not. I'd walk around naked if it was socially acceptable. and that would be a 'thong,' sweetie.

ANNA [12.25PM]: though I don't expect you to know that. women don't wear them to be comfortable. they wear them so they don't get lines in a nice dress that their mom makes them wear to a gala dinner 🙄

ANNA [12.28PM]: yes, yes it is. so make sure you bRING SOMETHING

AUSTIN [12.30PM]: oh you have no idea. we need to see each other btw

AUSTIN [12:33PM]: oh i’m sorry. i forgot this is you we’re talking about. i don’t care what’s socially acceptable within the walls of our homes. not to be one of those guys who want to see naked body parts, but i don’t care???

AUSTIN [12:34PM]: either way, if you’re comfortable wearing that little piece of fabric that literally covers next to nothing, you can just wear nothing. also i’m sure it’d be nice to look at for me 🤔

AUSTIN [12:35PM]: thong. fine. i remember you going free of underwear on more than one occasion in those dresses so don’t pout. you always find a way to get back at your mother.

ANNA [12.14PM]: fun fact they think we've been dating for like 5 years

ANNA [12.15PM]: what bc I saw your tits you get to see mine?? yeah okay Aus

ANNA [12.18PM]: okay valid point. more for us!

AUSTIN [12.21PM]: wow. fucked up.

AUSTIN [12.22PM]: i've not even been divorced for that long. those people seriously need other hobbies.

AUSTIN [12.25PM]: well.. yeah.. it makes sense. fine, i'll accept a striptease with underwear on. idk why you're such a prude about this, i've seen you in your underwear and one of those tiny things you women call panties. don't understand how it's comfortable but oh well.

“I don’t care to sue,” Elena said as she let her shoulders drop. Between the three, she didn’t have the mental or monetary resources to bring someone to court. Especially not if the process would extend for years. Dark hues closed as her hand rose to pinch the bridge of her nose while Austin spoke. A part of her wanted to scream at him for no thoroughly looking into the lawyer. Despite the pain the divorce had given all three of the parties present, she had taken the brunt of it. By the time his question turned towards her, the brunette had already consumed half of her drink. “I don’t know,” she whispered at the pair of them. Maybe she was in shock or exhausted. Either way, she couldn’t begin to process any of this in a healthy way. Her head shook as she looked down at the table and processed the conversations shared between the two. While the connection still lived between the two, she could still hear the conversation in the hallway ring through her ears. I can’t be selfish with you. I can’t do that to you. I’m still not me, still not where I should be to be with you. A shaky exhale escaped as she braced for impact, knowing that if they were going to go for round two — she needed to know now. “What do we do?” Her eyes darted at London, only for her next question to be directed to Austin. “What do you want to do? Find another divorce lawyer?” It had been his decision years ago and she’d only be hurting herself if she dared believe his mind had changed.

@londoncabot​

— ♕ —

London let out a sigh, each word that left her brother’s mouth being ones that she agreed with. How can something like this happen? She let it happen. How did no one notice? Because everyone had been fooled, including her — big shot Stanford lawyer couldn’t even help Austin and Elena finalize something that hadn’t been easy for either of them. “I don’t know. I’m still not sure how he was caught but the important thing is that he was,” she spoke, almost as if telling herself the exact same thing for the exact same purpose she was telling it to her brother — to calm down. Look at the situation through collected thoughts. I don’t care to sue. “Alright.” That was all London could say — that was all she should say. No matter how much she wanted to strip this guy bare of any money for what he had done to her brother and sister (and so many others), it wasn’t up to her to pursue any legal action. Looking at her brother after hearing Elena’s question, a reaction she had no control over, London then looked at Elena. “Since the first divorce was null and void, it was like it never happened so you can just have new divorce papers written up. The process would be easier,” she continued, her eyes alternating between Elena and Austin — the legal process, anyway, “faster. I know a couple of colleagues that could do it. Family law is not my specialty but I’d oversee everything. Nothing would be done on those papers without me there.” And then, she allowed herself, and the other two, a few heartbeats. London kept her eyes on both of them before she continued. “If it’s something you both still want to pursue, we can get started on it as soon as you guys can.”

@austincabot​

          In all honesty, Austin has no idea what he wants. He thought the topic of divorce had been long over and done with and he was... relieved that it’d been behind them. However, he’s not sure he wants to put Elena (or himself, but that’s completely incidental at the moment) through it all again. He hated himself for hurting her back then, still does whenever he sees the pain in her eyes. Not to mention that his mind has been everywhere ever since she came back to Catalina; she surrounded him 24/7. Definitely one of the sideeffects of sleeping with her at the wedding, and definitely some sort of punishment. Austin didn’t even see other women anymore; her face was everywhere.  “I don’t want to make a decision about this right now... I need to, fuck, I don’t know. Wrap my head around this, think on this... Let it sink in.”  His eyes settled on Elena again, searching for anything in her face to give him some sort of reassurance. If she begs London to hanlde it all right now, he’ll sign the papers no questions asked, but if she hesitates... fuck, he doesn’t know what he’d do. 

“Fuck,” Elena muttered when the revelation was given to the pair. Hands moved over her face as she scrubbed the desperation and distraught from her features. Somehow, it felt like devastation. While she knew an invalid marriage would be worse, her thoughts drifted to the conversation they’d had many years ago. The pain that exuded as papers were thrown upon the dinning room table. She didn’t know if she could bare returning to that moment. Dark hues only fixated on the bottle of whiskey in front of them as humourless laughter billowed from her lips. When would life decide to give her a break? Plucking her glass from the table in front of her, she downed the contents of her glass in one swift motion before leaning across the surface to reach for the bottle. While the thought of suing the lawyer came to mind, she felt mentally exhausted by the mere notion of it. It was Austin’s lawyer and she’d let him deal with the implications of what it meant as he’d paid for the divorce to be processed. “We might need more alcohol,” Elena spoke calmly, eerily so, before bringing her now refilled glass to her lips.

@londoncabot​

— ♕ —

London hated what she had seen in both Austin and Elena’s faces the moment she told broke the news to them. Her eyes went from one to the other, just trying to see what they were feeling. All she wished for was for the perfect thing to say, to both of them, to somehow soften the blow of the dreadful revelation — but she knew there was nothing she could say, even if she wanted to. At her brother’s question, London furrowed her eyebrows and pressed her lips together, her eyes telling him she wished she was wrong. “I tripple checked everything, Austin. I was looking at the papers right before you guys came, just to be sure…” Her voice carried on as confident and controlled as it had been throughout their whole conversation, but now there was a bit of sadness behind it — London couldn’t help but wonder if ignorance would have been better. “Go right ahead,” she told Elena, “I have more where that came from. I figured you guys would need this.” Which is why it was already out before they even started the conversation. London let a few heartbeats pass before she let out a small sigh. “You guys could sue him. Get your fees back, maybe even some more money to for emotional distress.”

@austincabot​

☾

          “Money is the last thing on my mind right now.”  They had enough of it even without suing the lawyer, sure it’d be one of his next steps but that’s not where his focus is on right now. He’d spent the last four years pushing everyone, but especially Elena, away. Kept everyone at an arms length only to find out that the first step he took, literally didn’t exist. He put Elena through hell for... nothing? He fought to set her free only to find out that she hadn’t been?  “Shit... how can something like this even happen? How did no one notice until now? This is bullshit.”  He shakes his head in disbelief, still not able to comprehend the entire situation. Once Elena set down the bottle after refilling her glass, Austin takes a hold of it to refill his own. Elena and him are still married... they were never divorced...  “What’s on your mind?”  Austin’s words are directed at Elena, as he doesn’t even want to think about next steps or doing it all over again at the moment. Given that she’d just yelled at him for not letting her make her own decisions at the bar, it felt like the right moment not to say anything and let her speak first. 

Evie: No, she'd have to have motive. She's a 76 year old woman who keeps a journal so her computer doesn't hear her secrets. She's not gonna make up my partner yelling at my best friend.

Evie: She only told me so it didn't happen to her.

Evie: Her daughter was there.

Evie: What the fuck did you do, Austin?

Austin: Maybe she shouldn't even have a computer then. Weird lady.

Austin: I can literally hear you yelling via text. Do you see what your voice does to me?

Austin: This is a sign you need to learn to yell less... maybe... yelling is okay, but you yell at me too often.

While her head stayed buried in the refrigerator Aly listened to Ben and his guest’s exchange. Trying to piece the situation together. A name caught her attention; Evie. Aly knew her, she thought. A woman she’d met at a department store her first week or two in town, and with whom she shared a short dance at the wedding. They were surely one in the same. Given the size of the island. But it wasn’t Austin’s mention of another’s name that confused Aly the most, rather how Ben was supposed to be there for her. As Austin had used the word bailed. To her knowledge their attendance at the wedding had been an impulsive one-off that diverged from a planned night together on the beach. Why was there so much miscommunication? Aly started to wonder if she was missing something.

It suited her well to hide in the kitchen, but then Ben called her out. She almost told him no. The please did her in. It did something to her insides she didn’t like, and she heard herself saying, “Yeah — sure.”

Aly made her way back into the living room with the Whiskey bottle and three glasses in hand. They were all inside a space that felt entirely too tiny for the current conflict. Aly felt extremely awkward but tried not to let it show. She put the glasses on the table and filled them up. Her eyes caught sight of Austin’s gun then. Holstered to his hip. It made her question Ben, but she didn’t say anything. At least with her mouth. Her eyes certainly said, ‘You want me to give liquor to your angry house guest with a gun? Oh-kay.’.

“Salut.” She toasted the group, and then took a seat on the edge of the couch.

@ben-brody

Ben rolled his eyes.  He didn’t know Austin well enough to feel like the man was deserving of an explanation, but he was wearing underwear and had maintained a consistent level of drunkenness for a long enough period of time it wasn’t that easy to organize an explanation.  That could’ve been part of his rise of defensiveness.    “Look, I missed the debriefing because I’m on leave until October.  I have some shit to work through before I can, like, function at all.  And I didn’t bail on Evie, because I didn’t go with Evie.  She’s my best friend, not my date to things.  I wasn’t even invited to the wedding, I crashed and left because…” Well, Aly’s timing with alcohol was pretty convenient.  It seemed like a great time to stop talking in the middle of a sentence.  He rearranged, redirected, grabbed one of the glasses she’d poured. 

“Thank you.”  He directed his attention back to Cabot.  “If you’re off-duty now, detective, you’re welcome to some whiskey.  Sounds like it was a hell of a night.” 

@austincabot​

☾

          Austin didn’t know what to think. But his motives for coming over started to feel really ridiculous, especially considering he hates when people assume he’s dating someone he’s not. So, technically, he knows exactly how Ben must feel right now. The appearance of his guest only made Austin feel worse. What the hell was even going with him? At least he’d gotten clarity... Ben being on leave definitely made sense now.  “Well, shit.”  What else could he say? The situation was entirely ridiculous and yet here he was. Plus, he noticed how uncomfortable Aly seems to be with Austin in the house,  “Might as well.”  He grabs the glass that’s left and empties the content in one gulp. Heaven knows he’s gonna need it for when he walks out of here again. “You have no idea how bad it got at the end.”

She could feel a lump in her throat when drinks were placed before them. “You’re scaring me, London.” Elena said softly as dark hues flickered between Austin and his sister. A part of her wondered if there was something she’d been left out of. Watching silently as Austin poured them drinks, she silently leaned forward to take the glass from his hand. Rather than bring it to her lips, she placed it in front of her and took a seat. Somehow she felt that being seated would be more important than trying to get the contents of her glass down to her stomach. Wiping her sweaty palms upon her pants, she kept her eyes on the blonde. “Spit it out, Lo, please.” She urged her friend, knowing that it wasn’t good. She was here as their attorney? What if their marriage hadn’t been valid to begin with? That thought felt more devastating than she could even process. The pounding of her organ beneath her breast bone had the brunette leaned forward for her drink.

@londoncabot​

— ♕ —

It was easy to talk to clients about awkward and difficult situations — London detached herself from them and saw them as nothing but people she had to help and getting emotional wouldn’t get them anywhere. But with Austin and Elena… It was too close to her and London was almost scared to tell them what she had found out. But she had to do it. London inhaled sharply before she began exposing the situation. “The guy that took care of your divorce papers, Mr. Ashby… There was — there were some whispers about him going on for a few weeks now. Turns out he got caught practicing law without a proper license. I did some digging, called some friends, people that knew about his case and… he did that for years. He got disbarred and no one knew. He fooled everyone. He fooled me.” And she had been the one to recommend him to her brother. Great job, London. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “He wasn’t a licensed lawyer when he drafted your divorce papers,” she explained, “so the divorce is not valid. Technically, you guys are still married.”

@austincabot​

☾

          Seeing how his sister is handling herself around him and Elena was enough for Austin to know something was seriously wrong. London wasn’t usually this formal or calm; at least not privately. He’d seen her in action and she was a fabulous lawyer, but right now, it was scaring the shit out of him. As soon as she ventured on to say it was about his divorce lawyer... Austin could tell this wasn’t going to go down a road he’d particularly enjoy.  He wasn’t a licensed lawyer...  the divorce is not valid...  His first instinct was to look at Elena; his wife, and not completely freak out over this.  “And this is... legit? You looked over all the documents, know for a fact that this wasn’t legally handled?”  To be honest, Austin knows it’s the real deal. London wouldn’t come to them with this if she wasn’t certain. His focus is back on the blonde now and Austin, finally, sinks down onto the bar stool, his hand gaining a stronger hold on the glass in his hand before emptying the liquid in it. He has a feeling he’ll need more than just this one glass of whiskey tonight.