Helena cried out into the darkness - for a moment forgetting where, and even who, she was. In an instant, Aurora was by her side, clasping her hand, whispering soothing words that Helena could not quite hear, and the next, candles were being lit to cast away the darkness.
Her breath was labored and her hand trembled as she took her friend’s into her own. “Rora,” Helena whispered, when her friend was again by her bed, “I had another dream,” Another nightmare.
For fifteen years, Helena had had stretches where she could not leave her bed, but never had she felt as weak as she did now ... and it showed no signs of improving. She lived more in dreams than in reality.
How long had it been? Days? Weeks? Months? The days were blending together in a hazy, feverish daze and she did not know how much time she had left. In and out of reality she had floated, plagued by distorted dreams of the past. Although she had not said it, she was afraid - so very afraid - that this trip home would be her last and that she would die upon the road in a strange place, before she had the chance to be reunited with the only family she had left in the world.
helenagodiva
Helena sat up and drew her arms round her knees.
“I saw the purge.” This was nothing new. She’d been dreaming of the purge since it had happened. It had been a traumatic event for all who lived through it. Helena had lost her entire family that night - save her sister - and at the hands of those who had sworn to protect Aragoth.
It did not trouble her that she dreamt of it. It would plague her the rest of her life, just as it would plague the rest of the world. No, what troubled her is that what she saw, was not what had happened. Instead, it was some twisted retelling of the events, where she couldn’t help by sympathize with the attackers and question the motives of those who stood to defend against them.
“I saw Cassius,” she replied. She had seen him clearly - as clearly as she saw Aurora before her now. Awakening had done nothing to lessen the feeling of reality. In fact, it left her with an unsettling feeling - as though what she dreamt just might have been true.
“He was standing in flames amongst the dead. He’d slaughtered them all. It hadn’t been in self defense - he’d attacked and they were only trying to stop them. William DeGrey was trying to stop him, but Cassius would have none of it.”
She closed her eyes - afraid she might cry. it felt like a betrayal, even to have dreamt it. Such horrible things. “Cassius wouldn’t have done that,” she whispered. Opening her eyes again to look at Aurora, “He saved my sister that day. He saved us all.”
Even as she said it, even as she meant it, she could not shake the small feeling of doubt that had crept up over her. She longed for home; for her sister. If, by some wicked chance, even after all of these years they could not trust Cassius, she wanted to be with Rowena. She wanted to make sure she was alright. She could not lose her, too.
“No, I need to go home. It’s been far too long … if I stay here, all I will do is worry.” She exhaled, “I know I should not allow silly dreams to affect my judgement, but until I am home, I will be anxious. Rowena has called me home and I would not let that call go unanswered for all the world.”
“The Purge,” murmured Aurora, softly. “What a dreadful night.” A grim expression suffusing her features as she considered that horrible night. “It’s odd, isn’t it,” she began slowly. “That you keep dreaming of it.”
Aurora listened intently to Helena’s comments with some distress, silently picturing what her mistress had described. Reaching over, she squeezed Helena’s hand. “At least we may comfort ourselves with that knowledge that it happened quite the opposite way. Cassius is your greatest champion and protector,” she soothed. “And, when we go east, we know from experience he will do whatever it takes to defend you and your sister.”
Yet, whatever might happen, he could not defend her from her sickness. That was Aurora’s charge. She sucked in a deep breath and prayed, once again, that she proved as successful as Cassius had when facing his greatest challenges.
Getting up, Aurora put a kettle of water into the fire to brew some tea. “Perhaps it’s only natural that you should dream of it, though, even in a distorted way: it changed the world, and your world is about to change, too.”
Even if Helena managed to escape her illness, she would still be finding herself somewhere entirely new. Aurora thought it was only natural that such shifts should flourish in her imagination. She fell silent for a moment, digesting what her friend had just said. This description of events boggled the mind compared to those Aurora had always heard. She herself had no personal memory of the event, but like the rest of the world, she knew what had happened.
“Perhaps,” she suggested. “It’s a reflection of your natural trepidation about leaving Vysova and going to the capitol. No doubt it will be a very different life...and of course, the Purge happened the last time you were there.” Coming back, Aurora sat beside her friend, again. Seeing tears standing out in Helena’s eyes, she reached out and drew her into a tight embrace. “Shhh,” she soothed. “There’s nothing to fear.”
Hearing the princess’s certainty, Aurora pulled back to look at her. A leaden weight settled into the base of her gut and Aurora offered a silent prayer to every god who was listening that she could find the strength to save her friend. She feared her health was too delicate to survive such a treacherous journey. Yet, her own worry was perhaps an ever greater danger to her. “Gods be good,” swore Aurora. “They will protect the Queen. I am sure of it.” She paused. “But, as your healer, I cannot allow you needless worry,” she said, offering a small smile. Taking both Helena’s hands in her own, she fixed her with a look. “We cannot ignore our Queen.”
