Would you move away from Perfection Valley if you had the option?
Thatâs the plan, darlinâ. Once I make enough profit from the saloon, I plan on selling it and using the money to go back to Vegas - but if Iâm being honest, nobodyâs seemed interested enough in buying it off of me. Hopefully Iâll only be in Perfection for another year â maybe two, tops. âCourse, I love the people Iâve met here, but it isnât exactly the best spot for a city girl like me.
Are you afraid of sharks?
I wasnât until they started being hurled at my saloon at fifty miles an hour. Matter of fact, I used to think sharks were pretty cool â and in the Vegas casinos, shark means a totally different thing than a fish that wants to eat you. Anyway, yeah, I guess you could say that now Iâm not the biggest fans of the things. I definitely wouldnât have any problem killing one if it was trying to hurt me.
Do you have plans to hunker down somewhere?
Well, the saloonâs got a pretty awesome cellar that Iâve been staying in. Got food, water, all the liquor you can drink. Itâs safer than beinâ outside, but I canât help but worry about the upper level. I hope this thing doesnât get any worse, âcause if it tears down my saloon, Iâm completely fucked.
What are your top three choices of weapons against the Sharks and why?
Iâm not really a violent person, to be honest... I sâpose Iâd want a shotgun for the sharks cominâ at me, but Iâve never used one. Never even been on a shooting range. It canât be that hard, though, can it? Anyway, a shotgun is number one. Number two... a machete? Some kind of big knife. You always gotta have a big knife. And number three... Hmm, probably a chainsaw, just so I can look cool like Leatherface. They can call me Sharkface.
How many times are you out in public and have people come up and complain about or ask you questions about the weather?
Almost everyone whoâs gotten a drink at the saloon has asked me what I know. Itâs a shame that I know about as much as them -- I canât tell âem anything. All I know is that until this shark thing is gone, everyoneâs gettinâ free drinks.