Aubergenial

obsessed with the implication of the x axis here. This is not sales over time, this is sales per sign, which implies that astrology is real, but only for "the farther you get from the spring equinox beginning, the more you believe astrology is real"

“I’ll have a Capricorn please, and two Sagittariuses. Sagittarii? Sagittarodes? Whatever”.

imagine you're some guy and you're going through the woods one day and you stumble upon a house and the people who live there just give you free food and eventually let you inside and it's like nothing you've ever seen before and the people are so nice and loving towards you and then one day they decide to never let you leave again, steal your balls, and give you a stupid fucking hair cut

Hello Tumblr my old friend I've come to blog with you again

Some time ago, I stopped thinking "wouldn't it be cool to do these things?" and just started doing them. I recommend it.

that post about “you get bandits when you cut soldiers loose without pay” reminds me of the Thirty Years War, because one could say that beneath all the religious schisms and diplomatic jockeying, the heart of the thirty years war was “what happens when you have a state with just enough capacity to raise massive armies but without enough financial capacity to actually pay those armies” and the answer is that the line between professional armies and roving gangs of bandits disappears and every time you try to raise an army it just becomes another independently acting wildfire devouring the countryside. No matter how bad things get, every day I wake up and thank my lucky stars that I do not live in 17th century Europe. Or 17th century China. Or the 17th century Americas. Or basically anywhere in the 17th century.

ooo…. lady gagita

you do not need to have an original idea to write a fic, you can just write the 957th version of a thing, kids. there's a reason they already did it 956 times

i keep getting this instagram ad for what i assume is a romantasy novel that begins w the phrase “imagine knowing your destiny in life…is to die” n it’s pissing me off SO BAD. everyone’s destiny in life is to die. that’s like. kind of the main one.

But when I say the “wholesome and funny” YouTube short I have been handed of students surprise showing their teachers 10+ year old photos of themselves and most them were emo/goth in some way and every single one now has medium brown beach waves and is wearing head to toe beige and immediately screams and hides the photo like it’s the most embarrassing thing in the world is a hallmark of a deeply insidious tendency to associate socially acceptable WASPy aesthetics with maturity and responsibility and perpetuates the idea that everyone grows up, “gets right” and becomes the most digestible unobtrusive heterosexual I’m “taking it too seriously”

“It’s not that serious” oh but it issssss because every day we perpetuate the idea that non-conformity of any kind to the white straight middle class standard is inherently immature and gets “left behind” when someone becomes a socially acceptable adult

This idea that maturity is conformity is everywhereeee if you look for even a moment