AtuaPraise's Haunt

Oswald: You use humour to deflect trauma.

Ed: Thank you.

Oswald: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Bruce: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you had lost throughout your life.

Gordon: Self-esteem, I haven't seen you in years!

Lucius: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Bullock: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Selina: My moral code, is that you?

Bruce:

Essen: While I'm gone, Ed, You're in charge.

Nygma: Yes!

Essen, whispering: Gordon, you're secretly in charge.

*In the batmobile, at some point*

Selina: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Ivy: The car takes a screenshot.

*Jeremiah and Ecco sitting in jail together*

Ecco: So who do we call?

Butch: Bad things keep happening to me, it's like I have bad luck or something.

Nygma: If you had to choose between Oswald and all the money in my wallet, which would you choose?

Zsasz: That depends, how much money we talking about?

Oswald: Zsasz!

Nygma: 63 cents.

Zsasz: I'll take the money.

Tabitha: Where are you going?

Azriel: You fuckers don't know about my knife stick. It's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon.

Strange: Spear.

Jervis: Jonathan, why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Jonathan: Your text told me to Satanize the house before you got back.

Jervis:

The League messing around with Fries' science stuff.

Victor: Please, be careful!

Jerome: Jam?

Jervis: Jam, I forgot all about the jam.

Oswald, trying to be a good spy: Mustard?

Jervis: Mustard--

Jervis: Mustard!!

Barbara: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Oswald: I'm the knife.

Selina: Bruce and I don't use pet names.

Alfred: I see. What do bees make?

Selina: Honey?

Bruce: Yes, dear?

Selina:

Falcone: If I die, my funeral is gonna be the best party ever and you're all invited!

Mario: If?

Ed: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Oswald: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

*Everyone standing around a broken ice cube in the Iceberg Lounge that used to have Gordon in it.*

Jeremiah: So who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know who broke it.

Oswald: I did it.

Jeremiah: No. No you didn't. Zsasz?

Zsasz: Don't look at me, look at Nygma.

Ed: What? I didn't break it!

Zsasz: Huh, that's weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Ed: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Zsasz: Suspicious.

Ed: No it's not!

Ivy: If it matters, but it probably doesn't, Barbara was near it earlier.

Barbara: Liar, I don't even do this crap.

Ivy: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the ice block earlier?

Barbara: I use the ice chips to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Ivy!

Oswald: Okay, let's not fight, I broke it, I'll pay for it.

Jeremiah: No! Who broke it?

Ivy: Jeremiah... Zsasz is being awfully quiet.

Zsasz: Really?

Later

Jeremiah: I broke it. It wet my hand so I blew it up.

Jeremiah: I predict that ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint and pig heads on sticks.

Jeremiah:

Oswald: Just be yourself.

Ed: 'Be myself'? Oswald, I have one day to win Lee over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Zsasz: Couple weeks.

Barbara: Six months.

Tabitha: Jury’s still out.

Ed: See, Oswald?