Atrel

Don’t respect what I do so I know it can’t be love You can’t handle the truth? Then I’m giving you the cuff I’ve made many mistakes but I wear them on my sleeve I’m giving when you take but you can’t take hold of me

Cause imma lay it out to the world It aint no thing anymore Imma lay it out to the world I’m no saint anymore

I got a letter A to my name I felt so ashamed I got a letter A to my name Now I’m not afraid To show it all, all my flaws All with my scarlet letter

I confess what I do can be blinded by my love But I check all my dues and I ex the ones who bluff I’m pressing through it all gotta make it count Only have one life so I’m throwing down This aint holding me down

Cause imma lay it out to the world It aint no thing anymore Imma lay it out to the world I’m no saint anymore

Two years ago I had just finished writing the song Throwback. I was going to pitch the song to, hopefully, a bigger artist so I could pay my rent. I was Katie Tucker, the songwriter who left Berklee about a year before and thought she had everything figured out. But life has a way of pulling the rug out from underneath your feet when you least expect it. Everything changed. 


When I started shopping around my demo of Throwback, I ended up receiving a different response than what I was expecting. Not only did I receive comments on my songwriting, but on my performance as well. Then the question arose: “Why are you not an artist”? I didn’t know how to answer. I’d let go of the idea when I started college, saying to myself that it wasn’t a logical career choice. I’d always followed my dreams, yet there I was at 22 years old, already settling. That’s when I decided to become an artist. But my name didn’t feel right anymore. It felt like a false identity. I’ve gone through a world of change since leaving my home in Michigan. I’ve lead myself down devastating paths when I thought I was following my heart. I’ve made mistakes, took risks that may or may not have gone in my favor, and made decisions that cast love and acceptance in some eyes while stirring up judgement in others. The world wasn’t black and white anymore. My strict moral lines had been blurred, and I would never be the same. I would never make all of the right decisions, and I would certainly never be able to make everyone happy. It was in that moment that I realized I was holding onto a picture perfect version of myself, and it was time for me to let it go. 

Scarlet Letter is a tribute to the novel and its’ message in my own words. It’s about finding the strength to admit that you're not perfect, and that your flaws are a part of you. It’s about finding your own voice, and not allowing it to be silenced by judgement. Sometimes being true to who you are is more important than the satisfaction of those around you. Happiness comes from within, which in turn is reflected onto the world. Scarlet Letter is the song of my transformation: from ashamed to confident, from insecure to bold, and from Katie Tucker to Atrel. Thank you for listening, and thank you for being a part of my journey.