atmyfall

kadang kadang gua terfikir, macamana orang yang ada suicidal thoughts nak survive. cuz this shit trigger almost every time, especially when no ones around. bilamana lu rasa lebih tenang kalau lu tak wujud. bila lu wujud, lu rasa sakit. many said that people who have this problems been quite all the time and not asking for help. gua rasa bagi gua itu tak relevan dan nonsense gila. bagi gua, ramai je yang 'menjerit' minta tolong diselamatkan, cuma nya tak ramai yang boleh 'dengar' . and usually the one who listen is the one who battling in the same war. dan lu cuba selamatkan orang, tapi siapa nak selamatkan lu? end up, the circle goes around.

sunyi. bingit. chaos. silent. dying. confused. twisted. tanggled. too many short circuit.

and its ticking waiting to blow. to finally burst. some meet peace. some, faded and lost.

the funniest thing is, when thats happen for real, thats when everybody hear.

well, in the end you gotta deal your own shit.

and the circle goes around.

like usual .

dulu aku ada terfikir nak jadi musician. perhaps rockstar maybe. lol. idk, i got serious passion on that. god knows i love good music so much. i love music that makes me feel alive. you know, that music that can bring message on what's goin on with the writers. i love music that twist up my critical thinking skills. as i grow up, i know its time. its time to be realistic. fuck passion. they wont feed me. i gotta be real, like it or not.

and...

at this time, im wondering what if i cross my limits back then. maybe i'll be on the spotlight. lol. y'know, sometimes dreams are made just to ponder. that feeling when you look into the sky. you know it was fuckin beautiful isnt it? but it is impossible for you to live in.

well, forget about it. it was only my 1:34am late night thoughts.