I'm tired of being sad and alone.

I wish I felt like people cared about me and want to be with me. I wish I didnt feel alone and unwanted from everyone. I don't know what I've done to feel so alone. I feel like nobody actually tells me the truth on how I act or how they feel about me and just lie or put up with me so they don't hurt my feelings but that makes me feel worse. I dont know how to fix myself. I dont know what's wrong with me. I don't know how to act or what to say. I never express how I feel to most or if at all cause I feel like a burden. It's built up so much that now I only feel sad. I'm either numb or sad and that's all I can express to people. I've never been happy but I've never felt so alone. I dont know how to socialize and never been taught how to. I've always been outcasted or included for most of my life. I was consistently yelled at as a child and forced to be alone. Once I got to a safet place I still got that at school from other students. I've never felt I've belong anywhere and never felt that anyone has cared. Anytime anyone does I get scared and run away. I've isolated myself and now I'm alone. Not knowing how to fix it or actually interact. I just want someone to show they care and want to be with me.