At home in Rivendell

...

Lestat got used to the Muses. But standing behind the beaten down counter full of greasy fingerprints. That wasn't a muse. A stranger wearing his daughter’s face. His dead daughter’s face. Except. She wasn’t his daughter.

Oh Lestat could see the resemblance. Even a blind person could have seen it. The same stubborn tilt to her jaw. The slant of her nose. The grimace she didn't even try to hide to express her dislike towards anyone or anything. Now the subject of that dislike was him. It wasn't anything new. He had been subjected to the same expression a hundred times. A thousand. 

Except. It was new. Lestat didn’t know this person, Regina, if her nametag was anything to go by who stood behind the counter and was looking at her annoyed and tired. Lestat lifted his gaze. The eyes that looked back at him were dark, dull, tired instead of vibrant, alive, full of emotion, full of life. Always so full of life.

“But I look like her.” she, Regina, insisted. And now as he looked at her again Lestat changed his mind. Similarities still existed of course but no. She did not look like Claudia. She wasn't anything like Claudia. His dark child. The evil of his evil. He pushed away from the counter and left without a backward glance.

“Is Louis trying to hurt me more?” his mind supplied the question but he shook his head. No. That wasn’t the case. He saw Louis’ face in the car. Anguished. Burdened with guilt and pain and grief. He was hurting, clinging to a false hope that Lestat now had to crush.

Eyes followed him as he made his way back towards the studio. Vibrant eyes glowing under the lamplit, or throwing sharp looks at him. Always the same pair of eyes. He would know them anywhere. 

He barely arrived, his feet carried him to the piano, his mind repeating the same never over and over again. Claudia, Claudia, Claudia… Lestat never wanted Claudia. He turned her for Louis and only for Louis. He turned her even though he knew she would reach her and sooner than later and forever was a false promise to her. He didn’t expect to care for her. Never wanted to love her. But love her, he did. How could he have not. 

As his feelings raged inside him like a storm, his fingers started to play the piano. The piano. His instrument but also the one which he taught Claudia to play. They had spent countless nights sitting side by side on the stool, Lestat’s hand over hers as he guided her fingers, her eyes narrowed in concentration. Then enough time passed and she did not need his guidance anymore. He watched as she played a piece from beginning to an end before looking up at him, eyes vibrant, glowing with happiness when he nodded in approval. They played together after, those same eyes glinting with mischief when she messed up a part just to make him sigh in annoyance. Those eyes, those beautiful, expressive eyes.

Those eyes that lit up whenever Lestat bought her a new dress. Those eyes that squinted when she laughed, that were somehow even bigger and rounder whenever she asked for something that he and Louis did not want to give her right away. Lestat always had been the first to cave, whether she knew it or not. Those eyes that once looked up at him in wonder, eager to please, to learn anything from him that he offered to teach. Those eyes that turned cold whenever she looked at him after a while like he was a bug she must squeeze under her shoe. 

Those eyes that turned to him, begging him to help her as she burned on the stage in Paris. Claudia resented him, he knew it well, and if he was honest he couldn’t blame her for it. And yet. She looked at him. For a fraction of a second she looked at him like she used to when they were living on Rue Royale, those eyes asking him to do something, do anything but Lestat couldn't. She burned but the memory of those eyes were forever burned into Lestat’s mind.

His voice broke on the last note. He slipped the headphones off of his head, bringing the heels of his palm to his eyes, to catch the blood tears leaking from his eyes. When he brought them away, taking control of himself he looked at the few streaks of red blood. They were vibrant against his alabaster skin. Vibrant. Just like her eyes….

This is something I didnt know I wanted but its amazing

So.... I so wanted to love every single Lestat song. And sadly Black Licorice is a song that I don't really like. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Lestat.

But on the other hand. There are aspects of it I can appreciate. First of all. I LOVE the musicality of this song. I love the violin. It is such an incredible touch. So the music in and of itself is I think is amazing.

And Sam. Sam is so incredible. Which shouldnt be surprising at this point, but I dont care the man deserves his flowers and I am going to give them to him every chance I get.

Aint that the truth? The lyrics I love the most from this song. So self reflective. I loved this part.

I have so many questions about this opening. When, how, why? When is this auction? Why is this auction? What happened to Armand's eye? What happened to Louis' leg? Why are we burning the master recordings? etc...

The narration from Lestat is freaking PERFECTION

I love Long Face. I have loved it for almost 2 years and will continue to do so

I also already love the band. I can tell they will be so much fun

Lestat signing with his blood, I cant. He is so unapologetically himself and I love it

Lestat and Daniel are top tier entertainment together already

Also the Prince Lestat hints with Fareed. I have nothing against Fareed. I love Fareed. But once again, I have so many questions.

The narration. Once again. No notes. Absolutely amazing.

Daniel, let me tell you something. Loving being a vampire and having trauma doesnt cancel each other out. Just look at the blonde, handsome mess you are talking to. He loves being a vampire and he has SO FREAKING MUCH trauma.

The FaceTime scene. My heart. We've seen it. But who cares. I love it. I love it so much. The banter. The flirting. Its everything.

"NO, THANK YOU"

I love when Lestat reads the book. Because he does remember. There are many, many things he doesnt want to remember, but he does remember things

Also the picture of Lestat going out and buying candy for the kids lives rent free in my brain now

"More frequent showers." This man is hilarious. But he canonically loves to be clean so it totally checks out.

When Lestat is texting Toi I had such hopes that it was Louis. Especially when I read he said come to me.

Then I got curious, paused the episode and read everything and I had a feeling who this "Toi" could be if its not Louis and my stomach sank

Lestat having a breakdown on stage during Black Licorice is just... wow. A lot. But wow.

"Which one of you's OD'd before?"

Lestat thinks he is talking to Baby Jenks but in reality he is talking to himself. And its freaking heartbreaking. "You kill some wolves and fall in love. Get the gift, fall in love. Go to ground, get dug up, and fall in love. You're like some wet clothes in a coin op dryer, just 265 years round and round."

The way Lestat jumps forward in a story then backtracks is so him. And I mean I can totally understand him. Sometimes I do this too when telling a stroy.

The way he has flashbacks to Louis and then his face falls when he sees Jenks...

He calls Daniel "Dan"

The way he hasnt told the band about himself being a vampire and tells Dee to turn around. He doesnt want to be seen as a monster.

His laugh...

"Heard there was an afterparty on the asshole floor" Yeeey Daniel and Sam to the rescue

The way he runs -well flies- away after the band, and Christine and everyone see him and realise he truly is a vampire. He really didnt and still dont want them to see him as a monster but he thinks he is one.

"Were you a stutterer as a child?"...

I... The ending of this episode. How Lestat immediately tries to be sensual and sexual when Gabriella appears is just so wrong on so many levels. I mean Lestat knows he is beautiful. Even when he was a child Gabi told him he is. And I think even when he was young Gabi never truly loved Lestat. He got a bit more attention because he was pretty but he got that rarely. But it was still more than what he must have gotten from his dad or his brothers so he took it. And thought of it as love. And thats the kind of love, the only kind of love he has gotten. And he got used to it. And based on what we have seen from this episode I am scared to think about what kind of "attention" older but still human Lestat/young vampire Lestat had gotten from Gabi that he mistook for love. Anyway that was possibly the only kind of love he has known. And Lestat who is never not over the top and a lot just immediately submits to Gabi. And he tries, he really does try to be what he thinks Gabriella wants because he wants to be loved and thats what love looks like in his mind but he is broken and he cant and the stutter comes back... And my heart is broken. It is so so so wrong. And so sad. Maybe Im reading too much into the scene. I dont know. But it is really heartbreaking.

Give me episode 2 now!

Okay so I have not been able to listen to anything else besides Secret Comes Out since it was released. It is that good.

So first of all I love the sinister edge it has. The way it builds and relies heavily on the d drums and the bass. It is sooo good. And I mean of course it has a sinister edge. We are talking about vampires. Michael is turning into a vampire. Well, half-vampire. But yeah it has an undertone of danger which is so fun. Not to mention that yes while it has an undertone of danger, that danger, that sinister edge is so captivating, so spellbinding. You want to join these vampires.

And lets talk about these vampires because oh my god I am in love with every single one of them. Ali as a human being is so charming, and captivating when he performs anything and I am in love with him but him as David is another level. He is so in control, he is so seductive, he is so captivating, you cannot help but feel drawn to him. And he is just mindblowingly incredible. And his voice! Dear god his voice. I could listen to him all day, and all night. Matter of fact I kind of already do... Anyway like David himself his singing is so captivating. You want to hear more from him. Just more and more.

But the rest of the Lost Boys sound just as good. Sean, Brian and Dean sound amazing and while you can hear them and hear how incredible they are I just wish they would get solo lines to sing. But nevertheless they are sooooo good and I love them.

Then there is Michael and Star. I love Maria's voice so much. What is really interesting to me though that they have her sing in places where Ali as David sang before or have her sing with him. And she is not singing in opposition to David. Which is interesting when we view her Star's story but I am not complaining she sounds amazing alone, or with Ali or with the whole cast. And then LJ. He is sooo freaking good too. Which is not surprising at all. And he doesnt have a big part but it's cleverly written and sung so beautifully.

However while I LOVE this song from beginning to end, there are a few moments that are on loop in my head, all day and all night.

1. "Michael, Michael" such a tiny segment of the song but I cannot get it out of my mind. It truly is a siren song. And Ali's voice😍😍😍😍😍

2. "DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?" The way everyone helds out this note at the end is unreal. No notes, standing ovation.

3. "Is the monster in me, what I'm meant to be?" The big question, isnt it. Or one of them at least. And the way LJ sings it is just so good😍😍😍😍

If you have not listened to this yet do yourself a favour and go listen to it because it is MINDBLOWINGLY INCREDIBLE. I literally have not listened to anything else all day.