I’m fighting myself. I know I am. One minute I want to remember. The next minute I want to live in the land of forgetting. One minute I want to feel. The next minute I never want to feel ever again.

“But I’m hurting from the way that this worked out If you could rearrange your words you could’ve saved it If we were made of water we could swim around it But I can’t no more I still love you though You’re still my best friend But I hate you though And from my tippy toes That I used to limp Round your big ego I shoulda told you so When you asked me if I could forgive when you asked me I shoulda said no”

For what it’s worth- I want you to know that you did everything you could. You tried, and tried, until your heart grew numb and the tears eventually dried.

Miss someone until they come back, or until you come back, until their absence in your life becomes something to be avoided at all costs. Miss them until you don’t have to anymore, until you’re reunited in your favorite booth in your favorite restaurant ordering your favorite meal, miss them until it feels like you never left. Or miss them until you can’t anymore, until the things you miss are identified and cataloged as things and not a person, until you figure out that easy company and long talks and unblinking, all-knowing eye contact will find you again the way they found you the first time. Miss someone until you don’t.

“Maybe, just maybe, I always knew I deserved better, but was too afraid to accept it”

“I don’t care how hard being together is, nothing is worse than being apart.”

“Not everyone you love is going to love you the way you need.”

“I want to talk about what happened without mentioning how much it hurt. There has to be a way. To care for the wounds without reopening them. To name the pain without inviting it back into me.”

Don’t ask yourself, “Is this normal?” Instead, ask yourself:

I called really late that night in hopes to take it all back

“I have loved you so much that I have learnt to hate myself for the things I do so that you don’t have to. And that is the reason why we can’t be together. Hating myself isn’t going to make you love me more, but hating myself is one day going to kill me.”