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@asynjja
ASYNJJA , a highly private and mature portrayal of original character Moa Zhao, written and cursed by Lyn. Extremely mature and sensitive content present, open to those 21+ only. An exploration of obsessive fatalism, religious fanatism, and original vampire mythology. Affiliated with @bak3rs.
CARRD / TRACKER
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Do you feel it? Something is coming.
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MOA (designation: @asynjja) “you’re not who i remember.” (eye emoji)
Everyone, everyone is always talking about Jesse! Always looking for her! Lately, it's all they do and it's annoying! ...Even more so when he is also still waiting for her. Does he have to keep himself in line? He's locked itself in a different prison for her, but she is not here yet. The chorus rings loud in his head, only lowering as his feet touch the ground again and he is able to gaze at the stranger.
Stranger? Why, when the presence itself feels so familiar? But it's not Jesse, nor is it that traitor Polaris. Can he believe, then? Should he speak? The influence of the Hiss lurks, but he pushes through it.
"Your princess is in another castle." The words come out absent as he stabilizes himself back to feel almost like himself again. He knows who she is looking for, but still, an uncertainty tries to crush his bones. Even now, as he is almost not truly himself, he is worried about Jesse.
"Have you come to fool her, too? To pull one of the strings of the puppet? Too many strings, too many pulls." He pauses with a chuckle, the kind that comes out of a corpse, his expression neutral. "You're not who I remember, either. And Dylan's sister, she is everywhere and nowhere. If anyone can find her, it's you... Whatever you are."
Few whispers ever drone as loudly as the ones around him: it’s with great effort that she tears her gaze away from him and around herself, features not quite so expressive but it's undeniably the subtle crease between her brows insinuates confusion. There’s no familiarity, in any of what she sees. It’s as if the visual input constructs itself piece by piece. And then he speaks and her eyes snap back to him, movement sharp enough that it might as well have been involuntary. She doesn’t know if it is, but not even in her bewilderment can she disavow the pull he has. It’s a vexing one, made even more unbearable by her lack of comprehension for what he wants to say. Princess, castle. Nonsensical words. “ I don’t know who you’re talking about, ” her curt reply comes even before she’s opened her mouth: a miniscule delay between sound and light. The little cage around him looks so ridiculously pathetic, she finds. Certainly a man with that much of a gravitational force around himself could open it whenever he wanted and walk free? But when she reaches her fingers out to touch it, it just bends away from her palm. Ah. Physical absurdity aside, she’s not allowed to break it, it seems. Now that she dislikes greatly. “ What are you? ” This time her voice jumbles: it starts to the left behind him and suddenly emerges from the other side of the room as an echo. She still stares at him unblinking. Dylan. Is he Dylan? But if he was Dylan, why talk about himself like an acquaintance? Questions. So many questions.
all of my side muses are per request btw so if i ever dont specify/the default is always moa. assholes like chris just occasionally show up to cause trouble xo
I.NEED.HIM
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˚₊‧꒰ა 🤎🚪💛 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ -> SHE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE .. turned him away. shoved him back out the window he had crawled in through. the same thing he had done for the last handful of nights. sneaking into her room. sometimes when she wasn't even there. some nights ellie didn't even know he came to visit. she would be asleep. she would be out. she would be in the shower. and she would come back to her room .. to things misplaced. missing. gone. even with all of this - ellie never had any self control when it came to chris. she could never say no when it came to him. and it only got worse when theo was deployed. because without theo around .. chris seemed to hang around a lot more. not just at the navy yard. but he would follow her home. follow her to the diner. always keeping at a safe distance. he didn't need her father intervening. not when she was so close to .. being where he wanted her. mentally. physically. his. her back hit her wall. the one just on the other side of her bed. the blue glow of her fairy lights bathed them both. and it was such a contrast to the mood. to the air. he was suddenly in her space. the smell of him. the marina .. ocean salt and wood. plus something that was undeniably him. she was breathing him in and it was making her dizzy. light headed. one hand rested near her head. caging her - ellie tried to swallow the lump that had formed at the back of her throat. her head tilted back .. pressing against the dry wall. her breath was coming out short and stuttered. he knew what he did to her. of course he did. his other hand found its way onto her hip and ellie jumped ever so slightly. the warmth that spread through her stomach. was instant. his breath brushed against her skin - as he whispered into her ear. ❝ chris .. ❞ ellie whispered back. she didn't want to touch him. because she knew if she touched him - it would be all down hill from there. but he was on top of her almost. a thigh had slid in between her legs. pressing up against her cunt and her breathing turned into gasps. she hated how her body reacted to it. shifting her hips. rubbing against his leg. ❝ chris .. not here. not tonight. ❞ she mumbled. brows furrowed low over her eyes - before they slid shut. her head moved again .. her nose brushed against his. lips barely making contact with his. ❝ my dad's down stairs. ❞
˚₊‧꒰ა 🤎🚪💛 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ -> @asynjja 🟫 asked ❝ you’re my good girl, and my girl deserves the best of me. ❞
“ You’ll just have to be very, very quiet... ” God, she was maddening. The little gasps that escaped her pretty little throat, a pretty little throat tempting him to ensnare it with his grip, and the way she pretended she wasn’t pathetically dripping wet for him. He pulled back just enough to prevent the treacherous kiss, and it was hard not to grin at the attempt: his obsession with her was anything but kind. Every time she went to work, every time she talked to anyone or bought herself a snack on the way to the diner, he needed to know about it. Christopher knew her like the back of his hand. Better even, maybe, given that he wasn’t smelling his own hand half as much as he smelled on her clothes. Head dipped forward into the curve of her neck and he let out a cachectic groan before dragging his teeth against her salty skin. There was no point in time that he didn’t want to devour her, but he obeyed to her command. If she told him to sit it out, if she told him to stay in the corner and watch… Just that she hardly ever did. As much as Elenore Gibbs claimed she wanted him gone, she still left the window open and she still pressed herself right back against his thigh. “ You’re making me hard, baby... ” A mean tug on her hips before sliding his hand back to her rear, pressing her closer to the tenting bulge of his slacks. His mouth still bayed for blood, literally more than figuratively, but he restrained his jaw enough to not mindlessly bruise her skin. Jethro Gibbs was such a vexing man. He was sure if he saw his darling daughter with a bruised neck, he’d nail the window shut. And so Christopher kept his endeavour to lapping his tongue up to the shell of Elenore’s ear, breath hot and wet against it, trying to be on his best behaviour. “ Do you wanna cum? Do you wanna make yourself cum on my thigh? I'd love you to. I want you to ruin that pretty little pair of underwear so I can keep it as a prize. Pretty please, Ellie. You know I'd use it every time you deny me. ”
no but bigger emphasis on moa raising her niece with her brother again. moa being around for every school play, for every birthday, for every milestone of ellies. gibbs calling her in the middle of the afternoon because ellies crying in her bedroom and saying that he doesnt know what to do and clearly not wanting to say the obvious: that he never got to see kelly get to this age and he wants to help ellie but also gets reminded of what hes lost. moa always being willing to take a flight back home and being a constant presence in the gibbs home until ellie moves out, gibbs moves to alaska, and moa starts working more abroad. moa as the woman gibbs and ellie both can call every hour of the day. @bak3rs
NCIS ORIGINS: 1.09 | Vivo o Muerto
@asynjja
@blindsite and @candidated both asked, What wound shaped them the most, even if they won’t admit it?
It’s a difficult question to answer because I would’ve had a very clear response to it before reshuffling some of her lore over the last few years. But it still boils down to a foul lie.
Bill Skarsgård as Roman Godfrey and Famke Janssen as Olivia Godfrey HEMLOCK GROVE (2013-2015) ↳ 2x06 ― Such Dire Stuff.
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@k0mpsos requested all of the everyday life / domestic ones.
How organised is your muse? Moa’s borderline pedantic about her orderliness but I think it’s a symptom of not trusting people around her home. Quite a large amount of her possessions hold sentimental value, even more than material value, though I’d assume you could earn a big sum by selling centuries-old goods, and she prefers to know where exactly what is. That then translates into how she keeps her office or her own appearance, and maybe fear of tailspin absolutely plays a role in it too. She projects her own sense of safety into her environment’s neatness, I think.
What do they pretend to have together that they don’t? Oh, she for sure thinks she’s even-tempered but I don’t think she actually is. She just tends to manifest her anger in a quieter way and not through yelling, but I’m pretty sure she wears her emotions ( and anger ) on her sleeve.
@blindsite sent, Tell me what you need. Anything.
It shouldn’t have rattled her as much as it had –– an intruder, a burglar, and not even in possession of a weapon. Security scuffled through her hotel room together with the local police, but she hardly even looked in their direction, arms looped ‘round herself and eyes entirely glazed over. That she winced when Mulder’s voice suddenly crept up on her only added to the sickening sense of embarrassment. A burglar! Nothing more. But she couldn't shake that feeling of dread she'd felt when she'd seen his face. “I could’ve sworn…” voice trailed off and she stared at him. In the dark of the night, he looked so much older out of a sudden. None of the lights turned on and the occasional flicker of torches from security roaming the periphery for any signs of the intruder cast long shadows onto his face. Long, harsh shadows that helped the cold sweat on her back as little as the cold draft coming from a broken window. “Can I maybe stay in your room? The lights are working in your room, aren’t they? It’s not a building-wide power outage? ”
ᝰ🚬 𝚉𝙰𝙲𝙷𝚁𝙿 .ᐟ SYMBOL HEADCANON QUESTIONS. CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS IF NECESSARY. SOME MATURE THEMES MAY BE PRESENT.
EVERYDAY LIFE / DOMESTIC
📋 : how organized is your muse?
✅ : what do they pretend to have together that they don't?
🕰️ : what time do they naturally wake up when no one needs them?
☕ : what's their morning ritual, and what happens when it's disrupted?
🧺 : how often do they do laundry?
🪞 : do they look at themselves in mirrors, or avoid them? why?
🍽️ : do they eat to survive, for pleasure, or as comfort?
🏠 : what part of their living space reflects them the most?
🌱 : do they keep plants, and are those plants alive?
🧼 : what's something they're weirdly particular about being clean?
📺 : what do they put on when they don't want to think?
SOCIALIZATION / CONNECTION
🗣️ : are they better one-on-one, or in groups?
📱 : do they text back immediately, or let messages rot?
🫥 : how often do they pretend to be fine to keep the peace?
🎭 : how different are they with strangers versus people they trust?
🤝 : do they make friends easily, or accidentally?
🧠 : what do they assume people think about them?
🌘 : how hard is it to really know them?
🎉 : do they enjoy social events, or endure them?
🪑 : are they the type to leave early without saying goodbye?
INTROSPECT / INTERNAL LANDSCAPE
🕵️♀️ : how often does your muse think about death?
🧩 : what part of themselves do they not understand yet?
🫀 : what emotion scares them the most?
👣 : do they believe they deserve good things?
🧱 : what walls are they aware of building? which ones are they not aware of?
🕳️ : what do they spiral about at night?
📉 : what's their most common self-criticism?
💀 : do they trust their own memories?
🌊 : what emotion do they drown in when they're alone?
PERSONAL / DEEP / TRAUMA-ADJACENT
🩸 : what wound shaped them the most, even if they won't admit it?
🔥 : what moment do they replay when they're ashamed?
🧷 : who failed them first?
🕯️ : what do they grieve that no one else sees as a loss?
🪤 : what pattern do they keep falling back into?
🧨 : what pushes them past the point of restraint?
🧬 : what did they inherit emotionally from their caregivers?
🕶 : what lie do they tell themselves to survive?
🩹 : what actually helps them heal, even if it's unhealthy?
HABITS / VICES / COPING
🚬 : what vice do they justify the most?
🍺 : do they drink to socialize, numb, or celebrate?
💊 : what's their relationship with substances, past or present?
🏃 : do they move their body to feel alive or to punish it?
🛏️ : how do they sleep when things are bad?
🎧 : what kind of music gets them through the worst days?
🖊️ : do they write things down or let thoughts rot in their head?
☔️ : do they intellectualize pain instead of feeling it?
🕳️ : what habit would unravel them if taken away?
SEXUALITY / INTIMACY
🫠 : is it easy for them to get turned on, or do they need emotional safety first?
💞 : do they separate sex and feelings, or blur them dangerously?
🛑 : what's an immediate turn-off for them?
🔥 : do they crave intensity or stability?
🤲 : do they like being in control, or giving it up?
🪶 : are they gentle with people they desire?
🍒 : how do they feel about their own body during intimacy?
🎱 : what do they need to feel wanted?
🔒 : do they guard intimacy, or give it too freely?
💔 : have they ever used sex to avoid something?
MORALITY / CHOICES
⚖️ : what line will they never cross?
🩶 : what line have they already crossed and justified? or regret?
🧭 : do they believe they're a good person?
🔪 : what would they do if survival demanded cruelty?
🪙 : what do they value more, loyalty or truth?
🚪 : who would they abandon if forced to choose?
🕊️ : do they believe in forgiveness? for themselves? in others?
🧨 : what would make them snap permanently?
📜 : what promise do they regret making?
🪦 : what hill would they die on?
※.·:·.※ 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖 ··· a collection of chosen bonds, found family, & unconditional belonging roleplay sentence starters. genre: platonic love, hurt and comfort, loyalty.
• You know you don't have to keep checking on me, right? I'm fine. • How are you? Wait, did I ask that already? • I don't know what I'd do without you. I mean that. • Oh, God. I thought something happened to you. Don't scare me like that. • You're not alone in this. You know that, right? • We're family. That's what we do. We show up. • Make yourself at home, okay? This is your place too now. • Get out of here with that. You're not a burden. Don't ever say that again. • Is there anything you need? Food? A blanket? Someone to just sit with you? • So, what's next for us? • I have to admit there's a small part of me that's terrified you'll wake up one day and realize you don't need me anymore... that you'll leave. • It's just... I've never had this before. People who stay. • Why are you still here? I mean, you could go anywhere. Be with anyone. • I know I'm not easy to deal with. But thank you. For staying anyway. • [Name], I don't know what I'm doing half the time, okay? But I know I'm not doing it without you. • I don't really know where else I'd want to be, except right here. • You're the best thing that ever happened to me, you know that? • I really think you saved my life. Not dramatically. Just... by being here. • Hey. Bad dream? Come here. I've got you. • You don't owe me anything. This is what family does • Stop apologizing. You're allowed to need help. • I made your favorite. Thought you could use some comfort food today. • You look exhausted. When's the last time you actually slept? • I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me, remember? • We've been through worse. We'll get through this too. • You don't have to be strong all the time. Not with me. • I brought you something. It's stupid, but it made me think of you. • Come on. Let's get you home. • You matter to me. More than you know. • I've got your back. Always have, always will. • You're shaking. Here, take my jacket. • I know you're scared. It's okay to be scared. • You did good today. Really good. • I'm proud of you. I don't say that enough. • Stop pushing me away. I'm not leaving. • You think I'd let you face this alone? Not a chance. • I'll stay up with you. I don't mind. • You're safe here. I promise. • Tell me what you need. Anything. • You don't have to pretend with me. • I trust you. Completely. • You've got this. And if you don't, we've got this. • I'd do anything for you. You know that, right? • You're not too much. You're never too much. • This is your home now. For as long as you want it. • I'll fight for you if you can't fight for yourself right now. • You make me want to be better. A better person. • I chose you. I keep choosing you. Every day. • You're allowed to fall apart. I'll hold the pieces until you're ready.
maybe i am finally watching the silent movie die nibelungen (1924)
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BARBARIANS (-2020)
↳ Season 1 Episode Six : The battle
moa liu idunn gibbs wearing her brother's usmc sweater is still my fave tbh. there's two of them. obvi jethro has one but moa also has one in case ellie slept over as a teenager and was moody as hell xoxo @bak3rs
